Fairies and Magic
by AiThe19
Summary: Sinéad is a redhaired Celtic princess who is invited by Dumbledore to Hogwarts to help to improve the security of the castle and to teach students. How will this savage warrior put up with the world of wizards, and how will the wizards put up with her? Will she help them defeat Voldemort and is Snape able to stop thinking about Lily? Dedicated to Mrs.RJLupin and her inspiring work.
1. With the tribe

_There was an old man going up a steep hill. It was windy that day, and cloudy, however, the old man did not seem to have any objection, he seemed almost as if he went there for a peaceful calming stroll. His long simple robe was streaming in the wind, as well as his long hair and beard, silver as the moon. The wind grew even stronger, but the man didn't cease walking._  
 _As he went, a grassland appeared before him. It wasn't still_ the top of the hill, yet he knew he was already in the mountains.

"…They are to be found in the highlands, far from the common settlement of either muggles or wizards. Skillfull as they are, the tribes possess the powers over the nature in all its width and depth; they are the rulers of the fairies, the pacifiers of the wild spirits, the kings and queens of magic so far unknown to witches and wizards. What do you say, Minerva?"  
The elderly witch seemed worried: "Sounds as if you were planning to chase Jupiter himself in the dark caves of England!"  
"And you, Severus?"  
"Headmaster, although I have no doubts about your brilliant genius and your truly remarkable abilities, wouldn't it be wiser to focus on some more... Real aims?"  
"It definitely would," Dumbledore nodded and walked through his office to a glass showcase. "But I can't help to be worried. Last year the incident with Quirrell, the diary of Tom Riddle this year…" He picked up a very damaged notebook from the vitrine and held it in his hands, as if he were musing on the seriousness of the current events. "Strange things keep occurring since Harry Potter entered the schoolyards and my intuition tells me the more terrible things are yet to come. Obviously, the security of the school is not enough."  
"If I may interfere, Headmaster, this is not the problem of security." Said Snape, prolonging every syllable of his sentence. "Potter is like a sack of fleas, one giant magnet for problems." He bitterly spat out the end of the sentence.  
"What do you want to do, Albus?" Minerva spoke softly.  
"I hope to see the true core of the legend." Said the old man resolutely, ignoring Snape who seemed as coldly annoyed as ever. "I sincerely hope to observe their powers, if I find them, and I try to figure out how to incorporate them into the campus' security. Some extra magic would always come handy, wouldn't it?" He smirked, put on his cloak and vanished.  
"This is not the main point," growled Severus, "the best solution would be indeed not to employ a werewolf and to confiscate Potter's wand for good."

 _"What is it what we have here!" There was a shout and a rustle of leaves. Albus Dumbledore realised he's been lost in his own thoughts, as it happens when there is much to think of and you are old._  
 _In front of him, there was a wild-looking redhead woman glowering at him with a long knife in her hands, its edge pointing directly at him._  
 _"Speak yerself, old man, or 'twill be yer blood covering this knife at once!" She cried. He was watching her in amazement, astonished. They truly existed! He didn't actually think of what would he tell them, he was expecting to find rather a piece of evidence which would suggest how the spiritual tribe performed their magic long ago, he expected the tribe to be gone… He could examine the precious artifact in his study and improve the security of the castle this way. He wasn't prepared. He didn't know what to say._  
 _The redhead woman threateningly stepped forward and raised her hand with the dagger._  
 _"Eiméar! Stop it, ye silly fool!" A shriek came out and with the blow of the wind, another woman appeared, grabbing the hand of the attacker and making her immobile; she was also red-haired and dressed up in similar style as the first one, a simple emerald dress with many pendants hanging upon her neck and wrists. Both of them were barefoot. However, the second woman looked far less bloodthirsty than the first._  
 _"'Tis none of your business, Shin!" Shrieked Eiméar and swung at Shin with the other daggerless hand. Shin grabbed Eiméar's other hand, so now the to savage-looking women were wrestling together. Dumbledore watched, still amazed. He smiled a little. Now he would be about to witness the true character of the people._  
 _"Let me go!"_  
 _"I tell father... What ye did–!"_  
 _"You grass– How dare ye command me!"_  
 _That was obviously enough for Shin. She punched Eiméar into her stomach with her fist and withdrew the arm sharply back, as if she was pulling an invisible cord. The wind gusted harshly, thrusting Eiméar to a giant trunk of a tree. Shin clenched her fist and the tree trunk wiggled. It split into thinner parts which blocked Eiméar's fists so she was unable to move._  
 _"Ye shall not... ever... forget who is the eldest daughter of the tribe!" Growled Shin and slowly turned away, "our dear friend shall be so kind and hold you till your spirit comes down."_  
 _Your spirit comes down? Wondered Dumbledore who was slowly getting up on his feet, the blow was so harsh that it struck him too and made him to fall on the ground._  
 _"Ye mustn't think of us badly, old man," the woman was speaking to him now. Her voice consumed him. It was so warm, like an Indian Summer sun. Like a fire in the night. Like an open arms of a chubby housewife. So warm and welcoming. "My sister sometimes loses her spirit and is very inhospitable. What can I do for ye?"_  
 _"Thank you for your kind words, madam," he said, thinking about what to say next, his face wearing a soft smile, "my name is Albus Dumbledore."_  
 _"Nice to meet you, Albus Dumbledore, I am Sinéad, the daughter of Aengus, the son of Páidin himself." She replied and bowed slightly, expressing her respect and courtesy._  
 _"I came here to meet your people, Sinéad," Dumbledore his sky-blue eyes upon her green ones. He felt secure again. They began walking towards a small settlement of tents, which appeared a little bit dingy. A smoke was coming out from a fire and loud human voices were coming towards their direction._  
 _"A very strange intention indeed!" She cried and stopped, turning towards him her full attention and her eyes flashing in mistrust. "What faith do you mean?"_  
 _She probably asks me what do I mean by that, he thought. He knew he would have to be careful with those savages, but for some inexplicable reason to him he knew he has to put all his eggs into his basket._  
 _"You see, Sinéad, there are many kinds of people in this world." He began slowly. "There are you, and also the other people. (Muggles, he meant.) Have you met the other people?"_  
 _Her eyebrows crinkled: "You mean the Pork-heads?"_  
 _His eyebrows raised: "The Pork-heads?"_  
 _"We know that they live in better and more fertile places of the world," she spoke slowly and watched him carefully, "they breed animals for their own pleasure, they kill them. They eat meat four times a day. They are using one another for bad things and are never kind to themselves. The Pork-heads."_  
 _The Pork-heads, he smirked in amusement, what a funny name..._  
 _"Yes, there are you, the Pork-heads, but at the outside world of the Pork-heads, there is the secret world of ours. We do magic, as you did a while ago." He smiled at her, encouragingly. She did not seem surprised._  
 _"I've visited the world of the Pork-heads several times, when my father didn't know. He would never let me. But I know them, and I know what they do. And I've always considered it bad what they did. When they see us, they call us names. They call us dirty and beggars. They say we are animals. We say they are worse than that. What do they say about ye?"_  
 _"They don't know about us," Dumbledore smiled and pulled out his wand. "We use wands to do our magic." He waved his wand and a bouquet of flowers appeared in the woman's hands. She suddenly started wailing and crying._  
 _"Ye killed them! They were such a wonderful living mates, and ye killed them!"_  
 _Ouch. He forgot these people were living in such a sync with nature that something as simple as conjuring a bouquet would cause trouble. He tried to save the situation. He let the flowers disappear._  
 _"They were not real flowers. They were... Created. Out of nothing. No harm was done to any living creature. Don't worry."_  
 _She calmed down and he continued._  
 _"We live separated from the ordinary people and we live in our own world of magic. What isn't there may happen, nothing is impossible. What you say about that?"_  
 _"'Tis impressive if it's true," she nodded in acknowledgement when walking, "why ye came hence then?"_  
 _"I want to know how different is your world from ours. What can we learn from you. How can we be better and how to face the evil in the world."_  
 _"An honorable thought indeed, old man," she wondered and smiled dreamily, "why won't ye stay for supper with us?"_  
 _"I would be delighted to," Albus Dumbledore smiled and gently touched his chest where his heart was._  
 _"Just agree with anything I say, old man," she declared when the settlement was only a stone's throw away, "they trust me in everything. I am the chief warrior's daughter, you see. But there is one thing you must understand." She turned towards him. "Our people do not usually like the other people. They are barbarians and cruel creatures. We keep aside in the mountains where no one can have any objections. My father forbade me and my sisters and brothers to ever go there, but indeed we went! There is one thing ye must never do with yer children, ye know" she said, "if ye don't want them to do something, ye must never forbid them to do it, because children are anything but obedient. Never trust children, they are wicked little bantams."_  
 _Dumbledore laughed and the silhouettes completed walking in the dark-growing sky._

"How was your mountain holiday then?" Asked Snape bitterly and he didn't even try to hide the sarcasm in his voice. "I see you probably enjoyed yourself so much that you even forgot to mention we would be expecting the werewolf quite soon!"  
"Severus, I share your joy of meeting an old friend of yours, however, there is something I would like to discuss in the evening at the Great Hall, if you would so kindly join us." Dumbledore smiled calmly as he took off his travel cloak. On that account, the tall Potions Master turned swiftly around and with his black frock streaming behind, he left the headmaster's office. He was pacing quickly and was glowering to every direction as usual. He passed through some dark corridors of the castle and was just about to turn the corner, when–  
A reflection of red hair went across the corridor in front of him.  
He gazed, stunned. No.  
He made some quick steps in that direction. However, as soon as he did so, the light steps in front of him quickened as well. It wasn't possible. True, he was thinking about her too much lately, but the dead can never come to life. Or can they? Was Dumbledore right? Is there really any other form of magic than theirs?  
. . .or – is he mad?  
"Stop right now!" He shouted and began to run. It couldn't be any student for it was the time of summer holidays, and no member of staff had long ginger hair... He wished to see her so much again he might actually start imagining things? It has been twelve years... Was he delirious? What if all those years of suffering had an actual impact on his conscience? Was he seeing fallacies?  
The green garment just turned another corner. He jumped quickly and grabbed her hand.  
"Lily!" He shouted, his face full of pain and agony.  
He was staring into wide opened green eyes.  
"Nay!" She gasped and pulled her hand like a wild game, them she saw his expression she paused and her manners got softer. "Ah'm not Lily."  
Her voice was deep and soft. There was the warmth of the fire in it and it reminded Severus of roasted chestnuts. When he caught himself staring he quickly pulled out his wand and pointed at her.  
"Who are you then?" He said coldly, "speak yourself!"  
"Ah'm sorry dear, but am not Lily." Her voice was warm, calm, and full of concern, "I might turn into a lily, if you want, but strangely enough am not indeed. What makes you think so?"  
He lowered his wand and stared at her without any shame. A decent woman, tall and slim, with cascades of red curly hair, sparkling green eyes, pale skin, rosy cheeks, pink lips, some freckles and long robe of greenstone-coloured soft cotton. She had a strange accent, as if coming from Scotland.  
"What is all the fuss about?" Minerva McGonagall came hurrying, an expression of worry on her face.  
"'Tis very strange how ye treat a stranger, it is!" She smiled, however, noticing that Snape was still deep in his amazement and unable to utter a world, she touched his arm and said: "What is it, good man? Ye were chasing a noble maiden like a hare, did ye loose yer manners? One piece of good advice I give ye since I know ye meant good faith: should ye treat yer folk as yer enemies, take'm on as soon as ye get'em, or they will rumour ye with such dignity as a barking dog. I bid ye farewell."  
She turned around and went away.  
Snape stood as still as a stone, his wand still in his hand, not knowing what to do.  
"A remarkable young lady!" Minerva chuckled, smiling. Snape interrupted her.  
"Who is she? What is this about?"  
"Oh, Severus, maybe if you weren't dropping bitter remarks about Remus Lupin coming, Albus would have told you. He encountered a tribe of warrior-like indigenous people as he planned."  
"He took one with him?!" He spat in outrage. "What is this castle, a circus? I thought one savage creature would be enough for the following year at least!"  
"The Celtic woman was right," Minerva uttered wryly as she watched Snape rushing away in his cloud of hatred, "he truly resembles a barking dog."

 _Dumbledore felt great in the company of the warrior tribe. These people were as free as birds, respectful of their own rules only. No one felt frightened, everybody was smiling and laughing. The supper, to his amazement, was a bowl of vegetables and herbs which were boiling in a large cauldron and carefully watched by the older women of the tribe. Alcohol was largely distributed amongst them, to which the men helped themselves without any hesitation. In fact, the men looked even wilder than the women. They grew beards and long hair, the same as Dumbledore (he chuckled when he realised that), but theirs were unkept and ruffled. The supper was already eaten and now the men were drinking and laughing. Dumbledore felt this was the right time for him._  
 _"Warrior Aengus, I thank you for letting me join your people," he began carefully. Sinéad's eyes were fixed firmly upon him._  
 _"Ó, no worries, noble greybeard!" Cried the chief and bent closer to Dumbledore. "A'must apologise for me middle daughter's behavi'er!" He shouted, giving a rough and cordial punch to Eiméar's back, because she was sitting next to him. Her eyes narrowed in anger and she gasped for her breath, she was winded. Aengus brayed._  
 _"'Em pretty daughters of me!" He cried. "Anywhere in the land ye wouldn't find a fairer maidens than'em! And such skills they possess, ay, they do!" He staggered a little, apparently, the liquor had its effect._  
 _"Sinéad!" He shouted, his glance meeting with his eldest daughter's eyes, alluringly narrowed in amusement of his father's raised spirits, the chieftain turned back to Dumbledore. "Ye wouldn't find a finer magus in the world! Indeed, she learned all our arts, and she added her own! When we want to talk to spirits or prevent ourselves from harm, she always gives us a h-hand... A good woman, good, about to be wed soon…" When he said that, Sinéad sadly dropped her eyes. Her father did not notice, however, Dumbledore understood very well._  
 _"Don't look at yer father in aengar, me dear!" The huge statue of a warrior shouted again at Eiméar, "for he knows yer the finest warrior in the neighbourhood!" She smirked and grinned at Sinéad. "Yer father knows yer the one who will lead the tribe when the ghosts call him to their world…"_  
 _"That is fascinating!" Dumbledore smiled. "What is the chieftain succession line in this tribe?"_  
 _"Ther'aint any!" Cried Aengus and handed Dumbledore another chalice of alcohol with his shaky hand, already under the influence. "But traditionally a member of the family of the chief that was, they have to fight all those who would like to become a chief also. But my Eiméar will beat all the mighty warriors, whoever they might be! Ain't yer, darling? Ain't yer?!"_  
 _"How about your third daughter?" Dumbledore asked._  
 _"'Tis a good question, my humble friend! Méav, come thither!" A thin silhouette came into the light of the fire from behind the chieftain. She too had red shock of curly hair, but her face bore an expression of great suffering, as if in pain. She looked down at her bare feet, her cheeks were blushing pink and she refused to speak._  
 _"Wicked child!" Cried the father, "speak to the noble druid who joined our company tonight!"_  
 _She shook her head and hot tears of shame were running down her cheeks._  
 _"Father!" Shouted Sinéad, getting up on her feet and hugging her youngest sister around her shoulders, "don't yer see yer cruel to the child? I beseech ye to stop yer scold!"_  
 _"Well, ye say Sinéad!" Cried Eiméar in anger, "ye better lead her gone! 'Tis a shame to be her sister, 'tis! Go!" She shouted, "hide her under yer skirt, and ye two can be fooling around all day when me and our brothers keep yer thóins safe and when the good women of our tribe pick food for ye!" Méav started wailing and had to be led away. Dumbledore raised to his feet also, he should better follow the two women that he was sure wouldn't harm him. Although they were good people indeed, he didn't feel very safe near the drunken chieftain and his wild daughter. He followed them to the forest._  
 _"There there, hush, Méav..." Sinéad's comforting soft voice wiped the tears from the girl's face. Méav tightly grasped her sister's dress and began to sob._  
 _"What's wrong with your sister, good woman?" The Headmaster of Hogwarts asked._  
 _"We don't know. She's always been like that. I asked the spirits and they say it weren't them what is upon her. She is a little bit sensitive I think. Not really suitable to keep company rough warriors such as Eiméar or our father." There was a noise of breaking the pottery coming from the fire in the distance._  
 _"I guess it's father's liquor joy again, combined with the enthusiasm of Eiméar. I better check on them before there is a tragic killing taking place in our family. Please look after her, Albus." Sinéad disappeared in the darkness. Dumbledore felt as if someone asked him to babysit an infant. He had no children himself and had no idea what he should do with an overreactive teenage daughter. He carefully placed his warm hand on her shoulder and thought hard what to do next._  
 _"'Tis not I do-n'want to speak ter ye!" Wailed the youngest daughter, in her teens she could be, "me father'n'sisters are such better people than I am! They know how to fight and how to lead us and they tell me I don't know what they do, and indeed I don't, I've been but a burden to them all!" She squeaked. Dumbledore smiled softly. Apparently, children of wild warriors had the very same problems as many students at Hogwarts, and THAT was, after all, an area he knew well… He imagine his office, in which he would be talking to a first year little girl who is alone from her family for the first time and feels like the most pointless thing in the whole castle. He pulled out his wand._  
 _"Méav, do you know why I am here?" She shook her head and wiped her nose, staring at the wand in his hand. Dumbledore bent a little to meet her sad blue eyes._  
 _"My people are the same as your people are," he began slowly, "we also use magic, however, differently than you do. We use it to make our daily lives better. Our world is hidden from the ordinary people. We select children who have abilities to perform magic and we teach them in a school. Have you been to a school?" She shook her head again, now she was not sobbing and she was listening to him with interest._  
 _"There is a boy," he continued, "whose parents were killed by an evil man who studied magic in the school as well. The boy managed to make the evil man weak because his mother sacrificed for him and today, the boy is celebrated as a hero. But we still have to protect him, because we– I– think that he would have to face the evil man again in the future. And I am here to find help how to protect him until he learns what is necessary to learn. You understand?"_  
 _She nodded and peeped: "Teek me sister then. Not Eiméar, Sinéad. If ye need magic and protection, that is what she does all the time for me– for us."_  
 _He stared in wonder. He never planned to do something like that. But he realised it would be wonderful! He could observe her skill and the castle would be much safer at the same time. He knew he couldn't get to see enough in one evening to effectively protect the castle. He was sure they wouldn't even allow him to stay for a long time. He smiled._  
 _"Méav, you are a very intelligent young lady. Look," he gently wiped a tear from her cheek and waved his wand. A necklace appeared in his palm, a stone of the shape of a tear, glowing light blue light and emanating a slight warmth. He handed it to Méav whose eyes widened in amazement._  
 _"In this necklace, there is all your strength and bravery hidden in one single tear of yours. If you don't want to, you will never feel weak again." She hesitatingly took the necklace and tied it up behind her neck. She smiled and the necklace retrieved her happiness in the form of a little strand of joyful energy reverberating through her body._  
 _"Father started a riot again about who will wed me," Sighed Sinéad coming back to where Dumbledore and Méav stood. She walked lightly and the wind was ruffling her hair, however, he could see that she felt uneasy and tense. He raised his eyebrows. "You are about to be married?"_  
 _"My father would like me to be wed." She smirked wryly, "however, none of the violent warriors are suited for me. My own soul tells me that. When I get angry about this topic I tell him I'll marry The Dark Spirit of the Night if he doesn't stop prattling on about marriage. And he knows I am pretty well able to do that." Her eyes met Méav's glowing necklace. "What is this?!"_  
 _"I just sold ye for a necklace," said Méav with the feeling of satisfaction on her face about what a bargain she had made._  
 _"WHAT?!"_  
 _"Your sister is right, Sinéad," Dumbledore's eyes glittered with mischief and when he saw Sinéad's unbelieving face he started laughing. "No worries, my dear, the question is whether or not you'd like to come with me and help to save the world?"_  
 _"Do you mean good faith, old man?"_  
 _"Indeed I do. I don't want your help for nothing, you will be paid for that as any other respectable woman would be."_  
 _"Very well then," she folded her arms on her chest, "under one condition."_  
 _He raised his eyebrows again._  
 _"I will take what is dearest to me."_


	2. Spirits and feelings

**2**

 **Spirits and Feelings**

Sinéad was happy. She managed to agree with Dumbledore on a decision which was advantageous for the wizarding world and also manageable for her own people. She knew that if she went with the old Headmaster to help him increase the protection of Harry Potter, nobody would be there to look after the tribe, spirit-wise. Therefore, she suggested taking Méav with them to Hogwarts so that she could teach her the basics of their spiritual magic. It was the beginning of the time when the students go home as she knew, so there would be plenty of time to do that. As far as she knew, there would be Dumbledore, two professors, the game keeper and the school caretaker. That is someone who is looking after the lands and someone who is looking after the house– the castle, she reminded herself. A lot of new things were about to come to her. She wasn't afraid, sometimes she used to peep into the villages of the Pork-heads to see what their life was like. Very different from theirs. When she made up her mind that evening to leave her tribe, Dumbledore was explaining to her till late of the night. That there were the Pork-heads, but not only in villages. In towns and cities also, and were using things which were doing stuff for them instead of doing it by their own hands. Machines. They had artificial light and energy everywhere. But she was sure she could understand it if she would see something of that new stuff with her own eyes. She was always proud to be an easy-going and open-minded person. And then there were the wizards. That was another new world for her, like a new universe. She was glad that she left the tribe with Dumbledore, not that she wouldn't love her folk, no, but now she saw all the things they were isolated from. But she could not tell yet if the new things were good or bad. She could see their advantage, but at the same time, she was not ashamed of the poor circumstances she was coming from. She did not see any reason why would someone object to her place of origin.

She had told her father before that Dumbledore was a druid (That is, a wise person who can remember the history of his people and can perform magic and brew potions.) Well, it was partly true. She was surprised that her father did not forbid her to go. I think he must understand we are young and needn't to be so isolated as the older people are, she wondered. But when she saw tears in the mighty warrior's eyes, her heart went soft again and she promised him to come back as soon as she might have the opportunity to do so. But overall, he was very proud of her, "My daughter will teach the druid how to use our magic!" he boasted. To her disfavour, he asked Dumbledore if there were some beautiful young warriors among his people to marry the chieftain's daughter. Dumbledore laughed and replied that there were indeed. Thinking that his daughter's fortune is all right and well, the father was content.

And now, they were flying to Hogwarts. It was a warm summer night and her sister was firmly clung to Minerva McGonagall, an elderly woman whom Dumbledore called over to help him bring the sisters to the castle on broomsticks. When they landed, Méav's eyes were popped out and she breathed out: "Ah'm sooo jealous of ye! Such a fine castle!" Sinéad smiled. Her sister forgot to be afraid even before she had the reason for it.

Méav was supposed to stay only for two months, before the children would come. And Sinéad was to train her. She was worried about Méav's crybaby-ish nature. How will she put up with the evil spirits, for instance? Sinéad was sure that weeping doesn't really stop spirits from attacking their tribe. And that was the problem of Méav. She got scared too easily. Therefore, Sinéad decided to let her sister wander on her own in the castle. She was sure there wouldn't be anything too dangerous for Méav, at least Dumbledore seemed like he would know all that was happening there so if needed, she believed he would take the necessary care of her. He warned them from going to the Forbidden Forest until Sinéad gently reminded him that from that point of view, the whole area in which their tribe lived was forbidden. To ordinary people.

"But I suppose your sister HAS some abilities?" Queried Dumbledore when they were walking through the castle and he was showing Sinéad where everything was. "You are a warrior tribe. Didn't your men teach her how to fight? I thought every woman in your tribe learns how to fight!"

"'Tis true, every woman does," Sinéad agreed with the tone of wonder in her voice, "the problem with Méav is that no one really knows."

Dumbledore raised his thick grey eyebrows and his angelic blue eyes threw a glance.

"Sometimes," he said slowly while he studied the structure of the stones under his feet, "the ones we think we know the best surprise us the most."

"Ye see," Sinéad looked thoughtfully at the old man, "yer indeed a druid. I didn't have to lie to me father. Yer wise, learned and skillful."

"Thanks for your compliments, Sinéad, but I'm just an old man who doesn't want to give up anymore." He said with a soft smile.

"I tell ye somethin'," the woman smiled as she was walking beside him, "I have faith that every creature in this world has a certain goal in its life. It can be to lead one's tribe, or a school, or to execute a deed superior to all others, what do ye know?"

Dumbledore stopped. She stopped as well. He looked at her and suddenly, it seemed to her as a look of a different man. His eyes were full of regret, full of bitterness, of pain and sorrow. It were the eyes of a wounded boy. He slowly raised his hand and gently touched her rosy cheek.

"I knew you would be the best person to help us understand," he said, almost whispering. "Please don't leave us. We need your wisdom and your kindness. Thanks to you, I feel happier and better. Just as I were a better man... Thanks to your presence beside me. It's as if the air was soaked up with Felix Felicis and I would be swallowing it in full gulps."

"Albus," she whispered, stepping closer and gently touching his shoulders, "now I tell ye something of my art... Will ye believe me? Will ye believe that every person in this world has some form of energy surrounding him? He lives in it, gives it out and carries it onto another people either by his direct presence or by just a mere thought, when other people think of him, this is the feeling that they have of him."

"Of course, they have feelings for him based on what their emotions are, for instance," he looked at her, "if you love someone, you immediately have a pleasant in-love feeling when you think of that person."

"Not quite that," she objected, stepped away from Dumbledore and began walking again, "you mustn't confuse your own emotions with what your sixth sense tells you." When she saw his unbelieving glance, she smiled. "Have ye'erd of the sixth sense? Everyone has it. Ye just learned to ignore it. Try to listen. It's still there. It's the teeny voice in yer head which tells ye what is good and what isn't, it tells ye what would be successful and what wouldn't, it tells ye what to believe and what not to."

She crossed the yard and sat on the bench. "Imagine ye would see the name of a particular person writ upon a stone. What feelings would come to ye immediately? Your memories of that person mediate such feelings. Your immediate subconscious feelings about other people regardless of the relationship you hold in between each other is what the sixth sense tells you. I can read human souls, ye know!" She laughed when she saw the expression on Dumbledore's face. He took both her hands and looked her straight in her clear dark green eyes which were glittering as two nephrite stones.

"Sinéad, we need you more than I thought. Please, become a teacher in this school. Teach our children not only your magic, but also the kind of wisdom you were just explaining to me. We know so little about ourselves," he paused and looked sadly in the distance as if he were remembering something which concerned his own personal life into which Sinéad had no intention to look into.

"Albus," she breathed out sadly, "I cannot."

His eyes were sad: "Why, my dear?"

"I never went to a school meself," she sighed, "me father never had the money to send me, and even if he had, he would never send his little daughters into the world of the cruel Pork-heads. How can someone like that do any teaching of his at school?"

He looked at her, still holding her hands, his eyes were sparkling: "That's exactly it, Sinéad. You will provide a knowledge which no school can teach. You will teach us to study ourselves. No books are required for that!"

"Albus," she protested, "I cannot read any words of yours, as wise as I may be."

"There's no problem with that," he continued, "I'll ask Minerva to help you with that."

"No one must know," Sinéad insisted, "I know well where yer values lie. Ye despise of anybody who has less of the measurable skill than ye do. If wisdom was measured in trees chopped down, old learned men and women would be the dumbest of all." She was now mighty touchy. "I've never read a book, I've never cited a poem because I didn't have to. I never writ a word and I never told a stranger where all the countries lay. I didn't have to. And yet," she spat, "old men and women from far away came to me for advice with their own soul or a soul of a spirit. We were never liked by others," she said, "but their own despair led them to seek my consent. I was their last salvation and help. Yet I never held a book in my hands," she turned and walked away, "therefore, I beseech ye, ye man more literate than I am, think twice before ye ask a savage like me to teach. She might say yes and ye might regret it dreadfully what ye did."

"Does that mean yes?" Dumbledore asked, amusement in his eyes.

"It does indeed," she growled and walked swiftly back into the castle.

She was wandering through the school grounds and breathing enthusiastically the smell of Nature. She observed the birds, and the trees, she peeped under bushes and leaves, she jumped over rocks and ran across meadows, she took her dress off and jumped into the lake, naked. She was beckoning the sun to shine at her, yes, she tried to catch every sunray, every bit of warmth, she absorbed it like a snake, she danced with the leaves, she laughed with the water streams. Suddenly, the sun dusked and Sinéad realised she wasn't the only one in the castle.

She found Méav hiding behind a column in the corridor. It turned out that Peeves was attacking her with little pieces of chalk whenever she made an attempt to run through the corridor and it was thus not possible for her to continue her journey across the castle.

"But ye see!" She turned to Sinéad, "I didn't run away! I was hiding behind this column hither and I was figuring my head out what to do!"

She was proud of herself, Sinéad thought and she was glad for Méav. Eventually, abandoning her abusive sister and wild rough father already started bringing its fruit; Méav was progressing.

"We will defeat him together," Sinéad smiled and her look silently encouraged her sister. "Ye remember what I told you about the spirits? How ye can perform magic if ye ask spirits for help?"

"Yes," Méav looked at her, worry in her eyes.

"Ye say this hither in yer mind," Sinéad told her sister, "'I pray thee, Spirit of Wind, help me kindly in my struggle and let me mediate and possess your powers to defeat the evil in this world.' Can ye do it, Méav?"

She nodded.

"I know ye can do it. Close yer eyes and enter yer own mind." She whispered. "This is the place where ye talk to the spirits. The power of thought has always been underestimated, yet 'tis powerful. Ye will manage, yer brave."

Méav closed her eyes and her face bore the expression of intensive concentration. Sinéad delved into her own mind too.

I pray thee, Spirit of Wind, help my sister kindly in her struggle and let her mediate and possess yer powers to defeat the evil in this world. I pray for her safety and her well-being also... Let her soul embrace yer divine powers in the name of peace and goodness in this world...

Both sisters hurried out towards Peeves. When he saw the expressions on their faces, determined and seriously prepared to fight him, he startled and began his escape. Méav waved her arms and a harsh blow of wind threw Peeves towards one of the walls. Still running, she waved her hands again and Peeves bounced from one wall towards the other as a giant ball. He began screaming and wanted to go away. The women stopped when they safely got to Sinéad's room and began to laugh with relief.

"I did it! Ye seen it? I did it!" Cried Méav and her face was the happiest Sinéad had ever seen on her. She was glad that the Spirit of Wind accepted Méav as his moderator, for the result of messing up with spirits could be way worse than just only messing up with Peeves.

"See Méav?" She told her, "you must always beg the spirits for assistance. You must never mean any harm. Even if you are facing a hated opponent of yers or if yer moderating a dark spirit. Ye'll never moderate a dark spirit, will ye?!"

Méav shook her head. Then suddenly, she remembered something. She reached for emerald-green light shoes and handed them to Sinéad. "'Tis I found at the doorway when I went out. Suppose they will be for ye?"

Sinéad took the nice shoes on and mused. Who gave them to her? Dumbledore? Minerva? She knew there were only two reasons for giving presents: either by affection. or to say sorry. Was there anyone with an affection for her? Certainly not. And was there someone to say sorry? They suited her nicely, as if she bought them herself. "I totally forgot that I will be a teacher here," she grinned, "and a teacher cannot walk barefoot, can he?"

"Will ye be paid for yer teaching?" Méav wanted to know.

"I probably will," Sinéad nodded and she wondered how lucky she was.

"I hope I will learn magic as well as ye did," Méav said, "and one day, an old man will come for me and will take me away and will want me as his teacher and will pay me money for that."

"Ye rather don't hope!" Laughed Sinéad at her sister's folly, "ye must never depend on anyone else with yer fortune and luck. If ye want somethin, go for it now or it will run away from ye."

"Wisely said indeed," Méav laughed too.

"Let us proceed to another training," Sinéad decided. She wanted to give her sister as much as she could during those sixty sunrises and sunsets. There was so much to teach her! How to know if a spirit is a good one or an evil one. How to bend his powers away and how to avoid disaster to struck yer tribe. She probably won't be able to secure a lucky and fortunate harvest for them, but Sinéad would pray for her people everyday before bed time. All the luck she would have here she was resolute to send to her people. Myself doesn't matter, she was telling herself every time she thought of that subject, what matters are my people. Their fortune and good health. My prayers must always be with them, as my thoughts and actions hither will concern the wizard children and their world. She thought of her father, too. How long has it been since they lost their mother? Seventeen winters 'twill soon be. She died when Méav was born. Was this the reason for his father's grudge then? Was he treating Méav badly because she reminded him of his beloved woman, their mother Eithne? Suddenly, there was an urge inside her to teach Méav everything she knew and to make her a better magus than she herself was, since she felt her poor sister didn't deserve such treatment from her father, her sister or anyone else from the tribe. Méav was probably the most innocent soul that has ever walked this soil. Sinéad wanted to somehow connect this ability of her sister with the art that she began to teach her. Possibly, she thought, possibly, I could put Méav in danger to see what abilities lie inside her? For she knew there was something Méav was hiding, or was perhaps even unaware of her own skills. Sinéad certainly knew there was a lot more of her sister than she currently displayed.

Severus Snape angrily clenched his fists. Why?! He cried inside, as he did many times before. Why had he called her a mudblood?! Why had he been so silly then?! He was convinced that this was the main reason she had married James Potter. She knew he hated him, so she wanted to make a revenge. Possibly. Women often do foolish things like that, because they can. She had thought she would punish him by mating with his worst school enemy, but she had punished him even more, although she was unaware of that, for he loved her, oh, how deeply he loved her and how profoundly he had to conceal that from the rest of the world!

"Why?! Why the hell must she look like Lily, smile like Lily, smell like Lily?!" He cried in despair in his private bedroom where he was sure no one could hear him. "Haven't I been punished enough, Lily?! I'm looking after your mischievous son, that wicked brat who is a walking copy of Potter senior. himself!" Just the thought that Harry bore the genes of James Potter distorted his face into a grimace of digust. And when he thought of the way how children are conceived, he felt sick. He leaned his pale sweaty forehead against the cold surface of the mirror and let the freezing coldness penetrate his skull thoroughly.

"It's none of my business you know," said the mirror and almost made him jump out of his momentarily frightened body, "but I wouldn't go out with her just because she resembles another woman. When she finds out, she will be devastated and she will curse you until your last days."

"Of course you wouldn't go out with her," he spat angrily, "you are a bloody mirror. Shut up."

But it's actually true, he wondered while he angrily stormed from the en-suite bathroom of his chamber, I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't seduce her and imagine she's Lily. She isn't and she'll never be. Lily's gone. He sighed. He was determined not to cast an eye upon the savage anymore. He wouldn't talk to her, he refused to look at her or be at her presence. She is a muggle, he reminded himself, no, she is worse than that, she is an animal. A savage. A beast.

Sinéad was determined to ask the Spirit of Water for help. She was aware that he was moody, wild and unpredictable, but he wasn't bad. He wasn't evil. He wouldn't intend to harm Méav. Or would he?

Méav stood at the bank of the lake which was located at the school campus, ready to fight and learn.

"I will now stir up the Spirit of Water," she told her sister, "when yer more advanced like I am, you are able to evoke the spirit even without actually having the source of his power at hand. But for now, a source of water comes handy. He will be grumpy that we want something from him, he will be angry with us perhaps. Yer aim is to calm him down and to stop his rage. Ready?"

The Spirit of Water. I disturb your peace for I beg you for your assistance for me and my apprentice. Are you prepared to help us, spirit?

 _You errand magus… How DARE you spoil my peaceful stillness?!_ The voice of the spirit in her soul resonated with outrage. The water in the lake began to stir dangerously. Sinéad saw the glance of fear in Méav's eyes. Come on, ye can do it! She thought.

A giant vortex of water rouse from the surface of the lake and began to attack the women in splashes. Sinéad remained still in purpose, she wanted her sister to save them both. Méav screamed and protected her face with her arms.

"Do something!" Sinéad screamed at her and fear began penetrating her mind. She cannot do it. The outraged spirit will kill them… When she saw Méav's eyes widened in horror, she knew that their lives are in real danger. Her sister was unable to fight the spirit. Sinéad started to pacify the spirit in her own mind, at the same time she stood as a human shield between her sister and the spirit and was blocking all the outraged splashes herself.

"Run, ye fool!" Screamed Sinéad, determined to keep her sister from harm. But Méav stood still as a stone and didn't seem to produce any movement till the end of her life. Which could happen much sooner than she had thought.

 _There is a lesson for you, you silly woman!_ Cried the spirit and with one last massive hit, he threw Sinéad's body on a rock where it remained immobile. With a big splash, the water dropped back into the lake and remained still as it were before the two women came for their training.

"Shin!" Méav cried with tears streaming down her cheeks again. She rushed towards her sister, dropped beside her body and took her hand into hers. "Please don't die, Shin, please don't die, I didn't mean to leave you in the lurch, I really wanted to fight, but I was too scared to keep my mind clear to do it–" Méav sobbed and frantically fondled her sister's forehead which was bleeding. Suddenly, with the touch of her tears, the bright blue necklace began to flush and her hands, ice cold and trembling before, were emanating warmth now. The wound on her sister's forehead slowly ceased bleeding and it began to heal every second of Méav's astonished and scared glance. Sinéad grew rosier and slowly opened her eyes.

"I knew it, Méav…" She smiled faintly and gently hugged her sister, "I knew ye had something inside ye. Yer a natural healer."

"A healer?" Méav was staring at her palms, "a healer?"

"You have a natural ability to cure wounds and illnesses." Said her sister and gasped, "oh God, my head aches! I need to rest now."


	3. The disillusionment

**3**

 **The Disillusionment**

"It's wonderful to see you all again, professors!" Cried out Dumbledore and opened his arms, as if he wanted to embrace all of his colleagues at once. "There is another wonderful year just to begin, and before the corridors start to be buzzing with students there is something I need to discuss with you. But let us begin our humble feast while we are slowly indulging in this fruitful conversation." The four long tables were put aside, so the teachers' table had enough space in the middle of the Great Hall for everybody to fit in. Just as he finished his sentence, the food appeared on the table. Dumbledore sat down and the Hogwarts' staff began eating slowly and peacefully. Sinéad was lost in her thoughts. It was nearly the beginning of the school year and Méav had departed the previous evening with Minerva. She had gained so much self-confidence and self-esteem while learning from Sinéad, and she had the feeling no one had dedicated so much time to Méav before in the girl's entire life, because she was just the last child, the smallest and weakest one, and was never actually supposed to achieve something grand. Her destiny was to remain forever hidden in the shadow of her two elder sisters, one a magus and the other one a brave warrior. At least this is what everybody had thought before she chose Méav as her apprentice. Sinéad was glad she had done so, she sensed a great potential in her youngest sister. Not necessarily as a magus though, for she didn't actually get much better during those two months. She was able to deal with some gods and spirits, but only with the good ones. Méav certainly wasn't the one to calm down the Spirit of Fire when he is outraged and furious, and what is more, the spirits of nature are just the very lowest category of spirits to actually deal with. Méav was fighting well, but for the time being, she was actually fighting for herself mainly. Sinéad felt still nervous a little about her people, but Méav learnt her healing at least, and they had quite a fair number of good warriors. She hoped they would all be alright. What was strange was that Méav's healing abilities were somehow associated with her crying. But, she thought and smiled a little, with Méav this is actually no great wonder, she was crying all the time...

Suddenly, she realised all eyes were fixed upon her. When Dumbledore saw her empty face, he pointed with his chicken leg at her and said: "I was just introducing you, my dear, as a professor of a brand new subject introduced to Hogwarts, called Mythology!" Many hands began clapping. Her face grew pink and she hoped she didn't look foolish as she was musing of other things.

"And your name, dear?" Minerva asked, encouraging Sinéad to actually do something and to pull herself from her pit of shame in which she felt herself to be.

"Sinéad."

"Aaand your surname?" Minerva raised her eyebrows.

Now it was Sinéad's turn to raise her eyebrows: "Excuse me, sur-what? I am sure I don't have anything like that!" Sinéad could swear she felt Minerva's urge to kick her under the table to prevent her from embarrassing herself more and more.

Hagrid began laughing loudly and professor Fitwick looked sympathetically at Dumbledore: "Merlin's Beard, Albus, where did you find this wood dryad?"

"I actually know a spirit who knew Merlin himself, the Spirit of Thunder, he could tell ye loads a stories of him!" Sinéad smiled and laughed, she was determined to be herself no matter what the wizards thought of her. That was simply her nature. She was too unselfish to care what others thought of her. "The Spirit of Thunder is a good-hearted old spirit with a big belly and his stomach always rumbles for he is in hunger for all the tension that is there before each thunderstorm, and his twin sister is the Spirit of Lightning, she is indeed a wicked woman! One of the greatest shrews I've ever known, and when the thunderstorm is about to come, she always argues with her brother who will get the biggest amount of thickness from the land and the air, oh, I've never seen a fiercer argument! She throws lightning at him and he rumbles angrily to her face, and when the storm ceases and the siblings go home, full of the tension and draght they sucked up from the earth, the world is fresh and moist again, and it isn't until next storm they argue again!"

Hagrid laughed so loud his eyes were filled with tears and he howled: "I love tha' woman! I love 'er!"

Dumbledore was smiling and the corners of McGonagall's mouth twitched. Fitwick seemed he didn't know if that was supposed to be a joke or not, the only ones expressing pure sympathy were the shabby-looking witch with grey curly hair and a witch with ruffled hair and thick glasses who until this moment remained slightly oblivious of what was happening around her. Professor Snape's glance was filled with contempt and he remained silent and grumpy.

"I am Pomona Sprout, my dear," the shabby-looking witch smiled, "I teach Herbology. I suppose you will have rather a tight relationship with nature?"

"'Tis true what you say, Pom-oo-na," smiled the sligtly embarassed Sinéad, "we live closely tied up with nature and anything that dwells thither, including plants, animals, fairies, and spirits."

"Do not tell me they do exist, dear, I won't believe you," chuckled professor Binns, who wasn't feasting though, he sat at the windowsill since he always enjoyed the first dinner of the teachers together, "we do have evidence of fairies so far, but not at all about some… spirits, as you say."

"'Tis no great fault of yers, no need for ye to be ashamed," she smiled, as if she was unaware of the mocking manner in which the ghost spoke, "our tribe deals with those pretty often, yet 'tis not common for everybody to be bending the spirits. You must have talent for that."

"Can the spirits do whach'er want 'em to do?" Asked Hagrid, having already wiped his tears of laughter and helped himself to a whole stuffed chicken.

"Ye could say that indeed," Sinéad nodded, remembering how she tamed the Ghost of Howling for the first time when she was little so that he could not threaten her people, "some of them are kind and welcoming, some of them are evil and thirsty for blood. It varies." For the first time, she actually looked at the dishes on the table: roasted potatoes and vegetables, beef steaks, chicken, pork pies, various bottles of juice, cheese, salads and sweets. She was amazed but she smirked at the meat. Pork-heads. Her tribe never were as successful farmers as to have such a feast. In the next second she helped herself to a pile of roasted veggies and some bread.

"Just as I was saying the whole time!" Cried Sybil Trelawney and her wandering expression turned into a gay one, "spirits do exist, supernatural forces too, I can see them as well, my dear, and I've been telling this to everybody all those twelve years of my Divination career at Hogwarts!" The witch swung her glass in a passionate gesture and spilled her pumpkin juice.

"Of course, Sybil, they are, so please sit down again, dear," Minerva pressed her lips together as if she were saying I-don't-believe-you-a-thing.

"You remain rather quiet, sir," the chestnut silky voice of Sinéad was talking to him. Snape turned his head towards Sinéad and his face showed no expression, as always.

"I have nothing to tell you and I certainly don't need to ask you for more… Interesting stories," he smirked mockingly and turned his look away from her.

"Could you please say your name again, dear?" Asked Madame Pomfrey, "S–"

"It sounds like 'Shin-aid', but you were grand," smiled the redhead woman.

"Well then Sinéad," Poppy continued, "does your… skill concern herbs also? The ones for healing, for instance?"

"Oh it does indeed," smiled Sinéad and was actually beginning to feel better after her initial pratfall, "we've no doctors or medics, so the women of the clan must do all the healing with all that they know. Sometimes, someone dies of course, as life goes. Therefore, we keen him and celebrate for three days and nights."

"You celebrate that he died?!" Binns grew even paler than he actually was, "what a colony of cruel savage creatures are you?!"

"Of course we don't celebrate that he died," retorted Sinéad sharply and she started to feel very uncomfortable in the company of wizards who obviously tried their every attempt to amuse themselves on her account, "we wake him. We keep him good company until his soul reaches the otherworld. Excuse me, I think this rather disadvantageous cultural exchange made me really tired. I was pleased to meet ye all and I am more than happy to see ye in the following days when this place will be getting ready for the arrival of the wizarding children. I bid ye pleasant eve." She said with a bitterly chagrin flavour in her voice and left the Great Hall without actually eating any bit of her supper.

When she woke up the following morning in her beautiful chamber at Hogwarts, she firstly couldn't remember what was making her feel so depressed. Then she recalled the events of last night and was feeling down again. She made a fool of herself… In front of all those people who used her weakness to their advantage and feasted their spite upon her ignorance. And yet, she didn't know what was it what made her look so stupid in their eyes. Was it her poverty? Her commonness? Her rural background? How did the dwarvish professor called her? A wood dryad… She buried her face into the pillow and could feel her own bitter hot tears wetting the fabric. How long has it been since she cried for the last time? She couldn't remember… She felt homesick. She missed the welcoming atmosphere of her tribe, where everybody was treated according to how he was, not what or whom he was.

"What did you expect?" She shrieked when she heard the voice coming from the wall. She jumped on her bed and stared in fascination at the portrait of a Renaissance lady on the wall which smiled at her, "they treat you as a pleb because you presented yourself as one. You showed too much of yourself. We don't do that in here. You have to act hypocritical and look as if everybody else was worse than you."

Sinéad opened her eyes wide and wiped her tears: "But I don't want to be like that. I want to be myself!"

"Well, you saw how well it worked last night!" Smirked the lady with sarcasm.

"I don't care what you think!" Sinéad yelled at the portrait, "I don't care what anybody in this damned castle thinks! I'm here because I wanted to be here, because I wanted to help to protect Harry Potter. I don't need to impress a bunch of snobbish so-called professors to prove my value!"

A pair of blue eyes looked at her in astonishment from the doorway.

"Just socialising…" Sinéad groaned, an expression of well-pretended indifference on her face, "What can I help you with, Headmaster?"

"I wanted to humbly apologise for the unacceptable behaviour of my 'so-called' colleagues during last night's supper," Dumbledore looked really sad, "their behaviour was unjustifiable and horrid. I have spoken to them all this morning and explained to them the purpose of your stay. No one of them will condemn you anymore."

"Well then," Sinéad pretended not to care about what he said or not express her true feelings anymore, "is that all?"

"Not quite," Dumbledore sighed and sat on the guest-chair in her bedroom, "I wanted to discuss with you the issue of your surname, for you really should have one. Believe me, your status will be greatly undermined with the students if they discover you have none. Can you think up any?"

"What exactly is a surname?" Sinéad narrowed her eyes and she kept attention on her voice sounding as cold as possible.

"It is a name of your ancestors attached after your name."

"It would be Uí Bríain then. My father was always proudly stating that we are the descendants of the glorious king Brian Ború. But I suppose that doesn't interest you at all, Headmaster. Very well then, use that as my surname, if you please, I don't care. Now, if you would kindly excuse me, I am not feeling well." She said bitterly, her voice freezing with suppressed despair and left her own room as a proof of her own small victory this morning.

She kicked her shoes off as she was running down a small slope towards the Forbidden Forest. There was no other place to go for her. Perhaps, if she found some nice ghosts or spirits there, she could befriend them and they could plot a revenge on the proud wizards, that would give them a lesson. They should value me more, she said angrily in her head, they haven't seen yet what I can do! She ran briskly into the dark depths of the forest and felt she had to let off steam from her emotions.

"Oh-ooh, what do we get there?" A voice cut the silence of the forest. She quickly turned around and was facing a giant centaur, three heads bigger than herself, "a nice female human!" Other centaurs laughed mischievously in accord with their leader. He came closer to her and gently patted her cheek. "A pity you are a filthy human being, else I would take you as my spouse in this very moment…" He had a hard voice, dark wild eyes, brown-toned skin and well-defined muscles on his chest. She liked him. She wasn't afraid. She smiled.

"'Tis a very great pity, brother, I would wish to be as beautiful and strong as you are." At the word 'brother', the centaurs raged in fury and prepared their bows for a nice shoot. However, the chieftain raised his arm to stop them: "Not yet." He turned back to Sinéad. "Who are you, fair maiden? You don't seem to be one of them."

"Indeed one of them I am not," Sinéad smiled faintly and could feel herself falling slowly for the chieftains deep dark eyes.

"Show me who you are then." He breathed into her hair and she could smell his lovely essence as he bent closer to her. She stepped aside a few steps and all of a sudden she shot her arm forward. In that exact moment, a dying tree came back to life and grew its leaves and buds. She stamped her bare foot on the ground and a rug of flowers immediately covered the soil. She smiled and turned back to the chieftain. His eyes were wide with fear and anger.

"You monster!" He roared and all the centaur warriors began to tamp down their hooves as they were chasing after her.

"No! I am not a monster!" She cried in despair in her last attempt to vindicate herself. It was good for nothing, the centaurs began chasing after her, shooting their arrows. Her desperate mind tried hard to recall the Spirit of Wind, whom had always been obliging to provide help to her. It worked. A strong blow of wind threw her out of the forest. She saw the herd stopping and retreating back. Heh, she smirked, probably afraid too much of me…

But something was terribly wrong. The grass was covered in soft rime and the temperature was definitely a good few of degrees colder. Her own unhappiness and despair finally gained control over her mind and covered her face in agony.

And then…

Slimy mitts pulled her hands from her face and she was staring into the face of the most hideous creature she could ever imagine. Its lips were wide opened and they were sucking her life out of her. She was trembling with fear. Her irises were shaking in horror. She was too weak to defend herself. She knew she would die in any next moment. She closed her eyes slowly, ready to give up her life.

"Expecto Patronum!"

A strong shine forcibly penetrated her eyelids and her dread began to cease. The horrid creature rushed away from the silver animal that was attacking it. Sinéad narrowed her eyes in attempt to recognise the animal. It was a doe.

"You silly woman!" Spat out Snape and hurried to catch her as her body was weakly collapsing on the ground. "Fooling around with some Dementors, were you?!"

She smiled as he caught her in his arms, burying her face into his chest and grabbing firmly his frock. "Thank you, dear."

His face remained unchanged and he groaned: "I had better take you to your chamber, before you completely pass out." He took her in his arms and began walking slowly into the castle.

"You are curiously light." He murmured.

"That's because I haven't eaten anything since yesterday's lunch…" She breathed out, her voice weak and tired, but still sweet as a roasted caramel.

"You're truly doing your very best to kill yourself, you fool." He growled.

"Why don't you use your awesome wand to lift my foolish myself?" She smiled, half-mockingly with remembrance of the events of previous evening and how cruel he was towards her.

"Because I don't want to scare the last bits out of you by using magic," he growled, more annoyed than before. Taking it as the utmost evidence of his courtesy, she pretended she passed out while still feeling his gentle grasp and the fresh, minty scent of his body. She noticed how gently he placed her into her bed and carefully covered her with the blanket before actually drifting her mind to sweet sleep.

"How's your teaching going, Minerva?"

"It goes reasonably well, Albus, Sinéad learns quite quickly. She can read slowly all the letters now, sometimes she stammers when the word is too long, and she wouldn't be able to do any public reading in quite a few months, but she can now manage enough."

"I am delighted to hear that. She will need it. The students must trust her. Especially the ones of Slytherin, for they are rather probable to mock poor Sinéad as we unwisely let it happen by ourselves last night. We all must acknowledge we were mistaken and none such behaviour should be ever practised again, either by a student or by a staff. I shall have a word with our friend when she gets over the… unfortunate adventures which were undoubtedly provoked by our inappropriate treatment. I have to explain to her the school system and also encourage her to be less liable to be attacked verbally again. We must all acknowledge her high skills and abilities by broadening our minds beyond our conventional beliefs and this atmosphere should be created right now from this very moment. I can imagine that you all may doubt my words, since none of you seen Sinéad actually performing anything which you should honor her for. The most explanation would be that she can talk to spirits and therefore, discover the most hidden secrets of power of nature and she can make use of the spirits' magic too, and with her teaching us her kind of magic we can be stronger than Voldemort ever was and at the same time, we can help the world around us and be in sync with it. Is that what you need for your satisfaction?"

The teachers murmured and nodded. Severus Snape spoke.

"Don't you think that the Dementors' presence due to the escape of Sirius Black will be a dangerous element for our dearest supernatural colleague, Headmaster?"

"Yes, indeed," Dumbledore was lost in his thoughts, "I think the best we can do is to keep her safe, as well as the rest of the staff and the students which are not familiar with the Patronus charm. The Dementors shouldn't have access to the schoolgrounds since as far as I know, they are supposed to be guarding the entrances."

"How about Lupin?" Snape growled.

"With the help of the wolfsbane potion, I believe we would be able to handle the situation as well. Alas, I plan to engage Remus and Miss Uí Bríain together in their own special task," he winked. Snape smirked and was as agreeable as a cup of cold tea and never spoke again for the rest of the evening session.

Sinéad woke up at the middle of the night. She felt refreshed and ready to began her battle for recognition with the Hogwarts' staff again. She turned in her bed and noticed a piece of parchment on her bedside table. The handwriting was neat and elegant, but it could be perceived that its author took a good care that it would be readable for her.

Dear Madam, please accept my most sincere apology for our earlier encountering in the corridors as well as for the unlucky conversation during the supper. In case of your need of a further assistance of mine, please do not hesitate to ask.

That was all. Sinéad wasn't sure if the tone of the message actually meant something more than just a formal detached announcement. She spent so little time in their community, was this actually a way how they showed sympathy to a woman? Or was she overly optimistic again? She laid her bare feet onto the cold stone floor. She felt she needed to talk to the Spirit of Moon again. She was a lovely woman, red-haired as Sinéad herself was, and what is more, she was once a human as well, for some humans who weren't meant to die and were exceptionally good in their lives were afterwards turned to good spirits. The mortal name of the Spirit of the Moon had been Lily.


	4. An old friendship

**4**

 **An Old Friendship**

Sinéad faced the glowing crescent of the moon. She stood barefoot on the green velvety grass, her dress crumpled and her hair messily loose, streaming down her back to her waist. Although she felt refreshed, she didn't look so, probably due to her unchanged clothes and unwashed body – she dropped off immediately when Snape brought her to her chamber a few hours ago.

Kind Spirit of the Moon, you who watches over the sleeping flowers, trees, rivers, seas, mountains, animals, children, men and women, you who provides merciful oblivion in the darkness of the night, please talk to me.

 _"_ _At last! I thought you wouldn't talk to me for another dozen years!"_ Cried the dim silhouette of a woman who appeared in the moonlight. Her dress was silver and was rippling, as if a tiny breeze was blowing around her. Her skin was pearly and her hair was grayish as if somebody sucked the colour out of it. But her kind smile remained.

"Forgive me, dear Spirit," Sinéad said carefully. Even though Lily was her friend, communicating with the other world was always a little bit delicate. Each one of the ghosts and spirits was more powerful than a thousand wizards. Lily looked at her, kindness and love in her eyes.

 _"_ _I can believe it,"_ she whispered, as if beginning to cry, _"you're here... Of all the people I watch during my lonely journey on the sky, it must be you who is taken by Dumbledore to Hogwarts..."_ Her voice was fragile and trembling.

"I'm here to teach the children and protect Harry Potter, Lily." Sinéad said, unaware of the circumstances. A tear was running down the spirits semi-transparent cheek and a cloud covered the crescent.

 _"_ _That is my son,"_ she whispered painfully. Sinéad's eyes widened in surprise.

"Your son?!"

 _"_ _Yes. My husband and I were murdered and Harry was the only one to survive this attack. I have been watching him since, but there is little I can do as a moon spirit. I cannot interfere much with people's lives."_ Lily said sadly.

Sinéad felt an enormous urge to hug her– but she couldn't, it is impossible to touch the spirits. She smiled as kindly as she could. "I will protect your son for you, Lily."

 _"_ _And you have my utmost loyalty for that,"_ Lily said, a fragment of happiness in her voice.

"Tell me your story, Lily Potter."

 _"_ _As you probably inferred from what I told you now, I was a wizard. I was raised up by my loving muggle-parents, together with my sister, Petunia. When I was little, strange things kept happening around me. Once when Tuney got crossed with me and I with her, her toys suddenly disappeared and she spent a week searching for them. It was just before I received my letter to Hogwarts, a wizarding school. I was a little bit scared, but I was courageous and I wanted to go in the overall manner. Also because my the then friend Severus went there as well. But we got sorted to different houses. Me to Gryffindor and he to Slytherin. We remained friends, but I have to admit I started to feel to be closer with my house-mates from Gryffindor than with Severus. I felt the same nature connected us, and I felt that Severus, being sorted to a different house, is somehow alienated from me. That he has different values and qualities and after some time, I thought it a little bit improper to remain friends with a Slytherin. Also because of his strange friends. Sev had a couple of bad friends who became interested in dark magic and the wizard who –at the end– killed me. They became his followers. Did you know that?"_

Sinéad's mouth was half opened in amazement and disbelief. "No, he never told me. Well we never talked much yet actually," she smirked, "but I didn't know he was that bad!"

 _"_ _Well, you wasn't allowed to desert Voldemort. Once you became his servant, you still remained his servant till the end of your days."_

"Are you telling me that Severus still remains loyal to him?!"

 _"_ _Formally speaking yes. But I will continue with my story. Because you see, I remembered our friendship and I simply couldn't believe he would be an evil person. I still liked him. But there was something which made me turn away from him."_

"What was it?" Sinéad asked with bated breath.

 _"_ _He called me a mudblood. Do you know what a mudblood is?"_ Sinéad shook her head.

 _"_ _It is very, very rude. Vulgar. It is as if someone called you a filthy animal. A monster. It made me cry for so long! This was the moment when I finally convinced myself to believe Severus was definitely one of the Death Eaters and I lost my faith in him. I was broken. And suddenly, I remembered how James Potter was always scorning Severus and bullying him. I started to believe it was because of Sev's bad choices and friends, I believed James was bullying him because Severus wanted to become a Death Eater. I started to believe that James was a hero, the protector of weak muggle-born wizards and an avenger of all good innocent people like myself against the evil. Although my heart was still in pain due to the death of my friendship with Severus, I joined James and his friends and I started to hate Severus too. I married James and our beloved Harry was born. When he were just a year old, Voldemort came to kill us. It's a sad story,"_ she smiled when she saw Sinéad's bereaved face.

"My dear Lily," Sinéad said and totally forgot her previous respectful attitude towards the spirit, "I wish I could do something for you. I wish I could hug you, darling, I wish I could bring you back to life! I truly consider you my best friend and a soul closest to mine now."

 _"_ _Well, we can be friends!"_ Lily smiled encouragingly, _"I don't think it would be forbidden for a spirit and a magus to become friends."_

"Me neither," Sinéad felt as if her heart delved into a bath filled with love and gratitude. She wanted to be close to Lily to ease the pain that was tormenting her, and she thought hard to come up with something that would make her feel better.

"You know, I met Severus two months ago for the first time. I compared him to a barking dog!" She laughed. "I honestly think he is just giving everybody the creeps, that's all. I don't want to play down your story, dear Lily, but to me he seems just like a very lonely sad man. He might be bad in the past, but don't you think he could have changed since?"

 _"_ _Oh he inevitably could,"_ Lily agreed, _"I was just telling you what he did to me when I was alive."_

"I see," Sinéad nodded. "But you know, when I was in danger, he rescued me from the– those bad creatures. If he called you a m–moodblood, just think about what would he call me then! He wouldn't certainly rescue me, if he had such a low opinion of me, he would let me die. This is how I perceive it at least. Besides, when we firstly met, he chased me in hope that I were you." Sinéad said and the events finally started to make sense. She already knew why had he called her Lily. She remembered his painful face and continued: "He looked as being in such a pain, and when I look into his eyes, all I can see is grieving and regret. Don't you think he might after all be good then?"

Lily paused, thinking.

 _"_ _No, I don't think so,"_ said she after a while, _"I see your point, and I see the reason behind your judgement and I agree with it. But after all, there is the strong personal feeling of all that happened,"_ she touched the place where her heart would be. _"I don't think any good deed of his could reverse that judgement."_

"I understand…" Sinéad said sadly. She felt sorry for she couldn't justify Snape for Lily. The worst thing of all was that she truly believed and agreed with both Lily's opinions and her own. She felt split. One part of herself wanted to condemn and scorn Severus for what he did and how he behaved in the past as Lily scorned him, the other part of herself, the one which saw the immense pain in his eyes, wished to ease this pain and wished to believe in Snape and try to bring him some kind of salvation. Maybe I cannot think it up right now and here, Sinéad thought, perhaps I need more time to actually figure out what I can do about this situation. It seemed to her as if there had once been a tiny thread connecting Severus' and Lily's hearts, however, the thread was cut by force, probably by Lily, as she just explained. But after all, something was odd about that. Sinéad felt completely wrong about some point of this story. She felt that the thread shouldn't have been cut, that it was cut unwisely and impulsively. She felt that Severus and Lily should have been reconciled, and if Lily's reasons for her marriage were true, if the only reasons for her marriage to James Potter were the ones she stated, she shouldn't have had got married to him. Not for revenge. If she told her she married him because she loved him, Sinéad would be content, but in the circumstances given she felt just pitiful and sorrowful.

 _"_ _I feel angry with Tuney, too,"_ Lily continued as if she didn't see Sinéad's confusion and wondering in her own thoughts, _"treating my own son like that! I wouldn't think that of her! My poor boy was treated like a pig! Like a slave! What a shame!"_ The moon began glaring in anger.

"Well, your family sometimes shows little understanding for the unlucky and the weak," she tried to pacify the Spirit of the Moon and thought with bitterness of her own younger sister, "my youngest sister Méav is treated in a similar manner by my people, by her second sister and my father, just because she is… different."

 _"_ _Oh, I saw her last night, and she truly does her best!"_ Lily exclaimed and smiled, _"she tries hard to practise her healing and she hopes she would be to some use for your tribe."_

"Even if she does," Sinéad wondered, talking half to herself, "my family will always remember how she was once, and will always treat her as if she didn't change. But I know she changed already. People are sometimes just stuck in time, bearing an image of someone which they once created and they still think it's valid. Sometimes, what you need to do is forget and forgive and if you truly wish to do so, you can always give a second chance."

 _"_ _I don't think I would give a second chance to Severus,"_ Lily frowned, _"for what he had done is too big for me to forget."_

"Well, that he called you names once? He called me silly and fool last night. That might be just a way he is. And everybody makes bad choices. Maybe he had truly changed and maybe you just didn't notice. If you feel like doing so, perhaps you should give it a thought. He takes a good care of Harry after all, you know."

Lily smiled: _"Did you notice? You're talking in a much better manner. You are saying proper 'you' like a fair lady. Your sentence structures are better and more– Pork-head-ish."_ She giggled. _"I love the word you're using for strangers."_

"That is Minerva's merit," Sinéad laughed, "she teaches me everything. How to read, how to speak, how to dress up properly, how to eat like a lady. She even taught me to point our your pinky when drinking tea!" She imitated the gesture and both herself and the spirit laughed once again.

 _"_ _I have to go, Sinéad,"_ Lily said softly, looking at the sky which began to get brighter from one side of the horizon.

"Is there something– anything– what can I do for you, dear Lily?" The ginger-haired woman asked with sadness in her heart.

 _"_ _You're too kind."_ Lily smiled, _"please, take care of my son, who will arrive to begin his third year at Hogwarts today."_

Sinéad nodded and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye: "Don't worry, I will."

It was the day when the students should arrive to the school, this would happen in the evening. Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Fillius Flitwick, Severus Snape, Pomona Sprout, Poppy Pomfrey, Hagrid and Filch were all gathered in Dumbledore's office to officially start the year for the staff. The only ones missing were Remus Lupin and Sinéad Uí Bríain. Suddenly there was a light knock on the door.

"Come in, please." Albus Dumbledore smiled. The door opened and the eyes of all the professors present widened in amazement and admiration. An elegant statue of a woman entered the room. Her hair was plaited into an embellishing elegant bun, she put on some blusher to brighten her cheeks and a dark-pink lipstick to paint her lips. She wore a green dress, this one was however more elegant and ornamental, with golden embroidery all over it and it was neat and looked like new. She wore high heels, but not too high. She was determined not to make a fool of herself in front of them anymore and took every step she could to make herself visually better in their eyes.

"Professor Uí Bríain, what a pleasant surprise!" Dumbledore stood up and showed the new ladylike Sinéad to her chair.

"Thank you, professor Dumbledore," she bowed slightly and took her seat. Everybody stared at her, not knowing what to think of her now.

"If there is not any other manner in which you would begin this session of ours, professor Dumbledore, I would like to begin it myself, for there are some things I have to justify," Sinéad said in her calming, velvety, golden-honeyed voice, and looked at Albus Dumbledore with her eyebrows raised.

"You shall have it, dear Sinéad, if you please."

"Dear colleagues. I believe you may not know about much of me yet, for I consider our first supper here at Hogwarts' castle very unfortunate for all of us and I suggest we forgot it completely to our mutual advantage." She paused. The staff nodded and waiting for her to continue.

"The easiest definition of myself is that I come from a different environment than you do, and I use a different kind of magic than you do. However, I'm still a woman of twenty-six winters old, I have two sisters and a widowed father, who is the ruler and the highest estimated person of our kind. For I left my people without any other magus to take my place, I had to educate my sister Méav here in this castle in my arts and skills. During that time we ascertained she is gifted in other manner, so my place remains currently unoccupied. I provide that information as a hint for you to conclude my value as a person and I am always more than happy to familiarise you with further circumstances."

The teachers were lost for words. Sinéad stood up and went over to Dumbledore's desk. She unfolded a piece of parchment with a couple of notes.

"I have thought profoundly about my position here also. Here I entrust you with a scheme of my lessons. The course would be compulsory for three years, one hour of theory and one hour of practise for each house a week. After their OWLs the students would decide if they want to take up the further, more elaborate and detailed course. The material covers the knowledge of nature and its spiritual creatures for the first year, the animal spirituality for the second year, and finally, human spiritual energy in the third year. Only those who would decide to continue further would learn how to manipulate the spirits. The knowledge also contains psychological matters and I am afraid I cannot allow anyone to skip my courses. I believe they contain vital and essential knowledge for your community. In addition, I am more than welcome to provide an extra help and treatment for Harry Potter with all possible things I can, there is no limitation in that whatsoever. I will gladly do more than less. Plus, I am more than ready as well to work with Remus Lupin and provide him comfort in his states of… uneasiness. However, I understand you have already agreed to seize his condition in another way, I am therefore offering my services as a back up plan if your strategy fails. I must appeal to all the teachers present that I will use my own methodology of exams and punishments which are in accord with what I am teaching the students and I must beseech you not to have any objection to or any interference with my methods. This is all I wanted to tell you."

After a few seconds of silence, Dumbledore began applauding. Minerva McGonnagall got up from her chair and joined the Headmaster in clapping his hands. Hagrid and Pomona Sprout did so as well. Eventually, every single one of them was clapping, even Snape, who seemed untouched at first, but you could tell he was impressed too.

"Thus, dear professor, be very welcomed to the teachers' body!" Cried Flitwick and held out his hand for Sinéad to shake it. This sounds better than a wood dryad, thought Sinéad for herself spitefully, but she accepted the handshake. Poppy held out her hand as well and soon, Sinéad was shaking hands with all the professors who were present in Dumbledore's office that morning. Sinéad finally felt the way she was supposed to feel from the very instant, welcomed and approved of. At last, she found herself shaking hands with professor Snape. She paused and warily looked into his eyes. Into his deep, dark eyes, which carried a tone of sadness and seclusion. She tried to penetrate this physical barrier of his eyes to reach his soul and his heart and she hoped she would discover the true colors of what Lily had told her last night. But there was some kind of a curtain, which Sinéad couldn't go through. Very strange, she thought, usually it is no problem for me to see what is people's hearts! He suddenly gave her an odd look and she better cancelled her pervasive attempts.

"I thank professor Uí Bríain once again for her enlightening explanation and her warm introduction of herself to our lives. Now, there are few matters I feel important to discuss. Firstly, as you all know already, a murderer by the name of Sirius Black escaped the prison of Azkaban in the recent weeks, therefore, alongside with the case of professor Lupin, who will be joining us this evening, there will be some exceptional precautions..."

Severus Snape couldn't find his peace. He thought about Sinéad ever since he had rushed from Dumbledore's office. His usual emotional detachment from the current world was gone– he was still thinking of Lily sometimes, but he began to perceive to fuller extent what was going on around him. He wasn't sure what to do. Her open-hearted nature and sincerity repulsed him on one hand, on the other hand, he caught himself wanting to be in her presence. Her character amazed him. She was truly a trier, she never gave up. She was lovely and charming and she was always willing to help. What amazed him was especially her ability to put up with the new world of magic and to actually try to become a part of it, at the same time remaining truly loyal to herself and not betraying her ideals and natural charm. Had only she been a wizard, he smirked and gazed into the distance of the horizon, she would make a wonderful witch. She would be adorable and everybody would be enchanted by her presence. She was very beautiful also, her skin looked so soft and her eyes were like two pieces of jewelry from the sparkle of which he couldn't hide anywhere. His heart beat fast and his imagination was racing rapidly. But Lily… If she looks almost like her… He couldn't imagine, it was too much, the mere thought that he could walk out of his office at that very moment and hold in his arms the woman of his dreams, it was too much! He wished he could muse upon her again and again, he would think of her for eternity! She was vividly before him, she was smiling and her beautiful ginger hair was carried by the wind, he could see the beautiful features in her face, it was all too much, he had to sit down, panting heavily, it was too much, he was too overcome with tender affection. All the affection and lust that was bottled up inside him all those years was swirming inside him and he began to drift into a sensuous delirium of images and feelings and scenes of him with her. She was just a substitution for Lily, he knew it well, but she was at that moment more than he could, and would, secretly desire. But the strangest thing of all, the reason why he had been thinking of her since the meeting was dismissed, was the feeling he had felt earlier. As if she tried to look inside him, as if she wanted to examine his heart and his soul, as if she tried to read his mind as an open book. Hadn't it been for his great skill of Occlumency, he would be exposed as a naked baby. Would she know about Occlumency as well? Was she aware of his abilities to hide his true self from the world? And what was more, would she be able to break through his barrier? And if so, would that mean his art is not reliable to use anymore? Gosh! She made him go through the wringer in an equal manner to how Lily once had. She suddenly became dangerous for him and he decided to keep avoiding her completely for his own sake.

Sinéad watched with her highest interest the ceremony of the Sorting Hat. She was sitting in between Poppy Pomfrey and professor Lupin, nearly at the very end of the teacher's table. Remus seemed a little bit nervous at first, but Sinéad kept smiling and encouraged him in his mind to be more relaxed. This was another ability of hers, not only that she could look in the minds of the people she wished to for any emotion apparent, she could also manipulate that emotion to her own will. She was now sending encouraging energy to Lupin, she was caressing his mind and his emotions to feel better in her presence. She felt sorry for him because of what he was, and she was now determined to help him as much as possible, although her tribe loathed werewolves.

"Dear Remus, would you show me which of them is Harry Potter?" Sinéad asked kindly.

"Just a minute," he mumbled and had a nice bite off his chicken leg, he must have been very hungry, "I'm just trying to spot him myself– oh, there he is!" He pointed with the remains of the chicken leg towards a boy with dark hair who was surrounded by his friends at one of the four student tables.

"What a lovely boy!" Smiled Sinéad and she was watching Harry carefully.

"Harry," Ron nudged him in his ribs, "the new professor is looking at you." Harry turned towards Sinéad and blushed, giving a soft smile.

"Of course she is looking at him, Ronald, why wouldn't she? He is Harry Potter, after all! She must have already heard a lot about him.

"If I may speak myself, I don't like to be heard of a lot!" Harry groaned and his eyes met Sinéad's. There was something very familiar about her, but he couldn't tell what it was. She was very pretty.

"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed and chuckled: "Lupin is also looking at her. And– And Snape!"

"Snape?!" Harry cried and a few of the other students looked at them.

"Why would Snape look at her?" Hermione's voice was muffled and she looked nervously at the other students who were watching them a second ago.

"I don't know," Harry's voice was worried, "maybe he wants to test his newest potions on her…"

"In his dungeons… in privacy!" Ron burst out laughing and Hermione yelled in disgust: "Ronald!"

"You are such a nice lady, Sinéad!" Lupin eventually smiled at the end of the evening, "how come that you didn't have any meat today? Are you a vegetarian?"

"Is that another offence?" Sinéad felt insecure again, "for if so, then I certainly am not!"

Lupin laughed: "No. I was asking if you generally avoid meat?"

She relaxed and nodded: "Indeed. We used to breed our animals not for flesh, but for milk and labour force. I love cheese, so I eat a lot of that, as well as legumes and vegetables. I don't need meat, I suppose."

"Your people are very wise," Lupin smiled and looked at her approvingly with his gray, soft eyes, "you keep animals as your companions?"

Sinéad's soul rejoiced, she got more closer to Lupin and together they delved into the darkness of the castle, engaged in their vivid conversation. Severus Snape grew pale with anger; he spat on the floor and furiously rushed into the dungeons to his own chamber.


	5. Doubts and decisions

**5**

 **Doubts and Decisions**

Her first lesson in the morning was with the third-year Griffindor students. She took good care to dress up in the same fanciful way as the previous day. She enjoyed the look on Severus' face that night and it seemed to her that he showed his interest in her more than he usually did. Why then did he seem angry when she began talking to Lupin? A light knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She opened the door and there was…

"Remus!" She smiled and adjusted the hem of her bodice to make sure it's in its right position.

"I just wondered if you would like me to escort you to your first class? You're new here, after all…"

"Oh, yes, that would be nice!" She cried and ushered him to her room. "Just wait here until I get myself ready."

He leaned upon the doorway and looked round her room. It was unusually light, probably due to the good location in the castle. There was the large but simple bed, none of the usual four-poster beds that were usually used. This one was made from the light shade of oak and had some fanciful carvings and ornamentation at the head of the bed. The bed duvets and the nephrite-green bedspread were messy, as if she just got up. All the furniture had been chosen to fit the colour of the oak-wood: the small bedside table, next to which was the window with green and golden curtains; the ladies' writing desk with a comfortable chair, the dressing table, the chest of drawers and the big wardrobe; everything looked as if it were the furnishings of a chalet. Lupin liked the cosy, freshly natural atmosphere of her room.

"Ehm–" Sinéad wasn't sure what to say. "Welcome to the first lesson of Mythology ever happening in this castle. My name is Sinéad Uí Bríain and I will be your teacher for the rest of the term."

Suddenly, a thousand questions were cried out.

"Why is there a new subject at Hogwarts?"

"Does Dumbledore think we have little things to do?!"

"What is it good for?!"

"Why aren't there any books assigned to this subject?"

The last question belonged to Hermione. Sinéad looked at the young blue eyed witch with brown hair as thick as hers were.

"There aren't any books because–" She tried to silence the buzz with her own warm thick voice. "There aren't any books because this is a brand new area of knowledge of the wizarding world. But don't worry," she smiled when she saw Hermione's expression, "you will find anything that you need in yourselves."

A few confusing expressions exchanged.

"Professor Dumbledore thinks that you have to broaden your field of knowledge and also your interpersonal abilities and the sense of empathy." She continued, writing her name carefully on the blackboard as she was training thoroughly the past few days. She mustn't let the students have any doubt about her.

"So…" Said the bespectacled boy, Harry, in a voice full of confusion. "Are we supposed to… actually learn something helpful here?"

"Much helpful indeed," Sinéad smiled and thought hard how to give more details and not sounding too crazy for people who never saw nor even believed in magic different to their own. "This is a brand new form of magic. With your senses and without your wands. You will learn to understand nature around you, animals and people, and most importantly– spirits, because they are the source of all the natural magic."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Uí Bríain, are you saying that the force behind the magic are not people, but spirits?"

"Exactly."

"I don't believe it," Ron's muffled voice murmured into Harry's ear. "She is the same sort of freak as Trelawney was yesterday."

"Have you ever wondered why is it that there are storms, floods, thunders, hurricanes? Why are some animals easier to tame and some not? How to ease a tension in a wild wolf, or how to make an injured animal to let you cure it? How to stir feelings in people, how to increase passion in a man and how to decrease fear in someone? How to make someone to love you? How to maintain good relationships with nature and people and therefore, provide a good fortune for yourself and the much-needed help when the situation is bad?"

The class was silent.

"There really is a way how to make someone to love you?!" A blonde haired Gryffindor girl yelled and the others casted her a look.

"Well–" Sinéad didn't want to sound too complicated but on the other hand, she had to get rid of all the discrepancies and misunderstandings. "There is no way to make someone love you by force or out of the blue. He has to have some feelings for you first. When he has those feelings, you can manipulate their level and intensity."

Finally, most of the people in the class were interested.

"Why aren't you all taking this down?" Sinéad asked calmly, but strictly. "There aren't any books concerning this area, as I said, however, there are some about nature and psychology which you would need also. So every note you'll take counts."

They reluctantly took out sheets of parchment and began taking their notes. Sinéad instantly felt more confident.

"There are three years of this obligatory course. The first year we will be studying nature and its spirits. During the subsequent two years you will have learnt about the spirits of animals and humans and animals and humans in more– human way. Don't worry, you'll understand when the time comes."

"Excuse me, professor," Hermione exclaimed loudly, "by saying 'spirits of humans', you mean the ghosts?"

Sinéad smiled. Apparently, this girl always had to develop the matter further, she always needed some extra information, some excessive attention for herself. Usually not the most favourite student in the class, but for Sinéad, it was a pleasure to teach her. At least Hermione attracted some attention to what Sinéad was saying and kept the spirit of the education in the class vivid and fresh.

"Not exactly," the teacher smiled at Hermione encouragingly, "human spirits are called so for their connection with human soul and mind – for example the spirit of anger, of love, of passion, of fear, and so on. They are actually called human AND animal spirits, for my tr– we believe that all emotions are common to humans and animals."

"So, can you just… elicit any spirit you want out of nothing?"

"Well, yes and no. The spirits of nature can be called out of the blue, because they are much simpler to mediate and talk to. The human and animal spirits are much more complicated. Firstly, their presence is problematic, for they are always present in every living creature. Every living creature is able to feel any of these emotions connected to the spirits. The difference is whether the concrete spirit holds the power over them at the exact moment or not." When she saw the confused and baffled expression on her students' faces, she continued.

"Imagine you have a bird. A bird can be happy, afraid, angry, or in love. In its soul, there are therefore all of the spirits present. However, every moment determines which spirit is in charge. When the bird drinks water, it is happy because it will be no longer thirsty, so the spirit of sadness ceases to control the bird's heart and is being replaced by the spirit of happiness. At the same time, it is a little bit nervous whether or not it will be eaten by a predator, so there is always the spirit of fear, partly engaged. When the bird sits in its nest, the spirit of fear might be less powerful, but it is still there, somewhere in the corner of the bird's mind, you see?"

The students looked way happier now and Hermione was fervently taking her notes.

"If what yer sayin' is true," Ron Weasley spoke with sarcasm in his voice, "then show us something."

"Ronald!" Hermione hissed with anger.

"Gladly." Sinéad replied. In her mind, she called the Spirit of Wind and made a strange waving gesture with her hands. All the students were thrown into the air and circled around the classroom. Some of them were whooping, some of them screaming. Being carelessly thrown on the stone floor, she connected her palms, concentrated even more for the next few dozens of seconds and called the Spirit of Fear. Suddenly, inside the chest of all the students, a fear of being thrown into the air once again arouse uncontrollably and few of them begged her not to cause them fly again and to call off their anxiety which they started to experience out of the blue.

"Bloody hell!" Squeaked Ron with his eyes wide when all of them were sitting and alright. The red-haired teacher smiled. Everything was fine now.

When she was going to have her lunch in the Great Hall, she saw Severus Snape crossing the corridor in front of her. She ran a little to catch up with him.

"Professor! How do you–" She called him and smiled when she reached him. He looked at her, desperately at least, but he changed his expression in a second and rushed away, not casting her another look. She stood still, astonished. She didn't know what was happening. Has something happened to him? Why had he such an odd face? She was determined to find him and discover what was going on. She began running as well. Her dress was streaming behind her. She turned the corner and gasped as she nearly hit a statue of Merlin. She paused a little, trying to catch her breath, her hair loose a little from her tightly plaited bun. She began running again and after a few seconds she bumped into–

"Minerva!" She breathed out in surprise.

"What happened to you, my dear?" The older witch asked with a concern in her voice.

"I just met Severus and he– just– casted me an odd look and dashed away."

"Well," Minerva hugged Sinéad protectively and led her into the Great Hall, "he is like that sometimes, you know, you never know what to expect…" She tried to comfort Sinéad the best way she could, but she herself wasn't so sure of Severus Snape. She knew way to much to really trust him.

"What makes you so upset?" Remus asked her at the dinner. Sinéad hesitated if she should tell him the very truth of her sorrow, he was a recently made acquaintance, after all. Well, everybody here was a recently made acquaintance.

"Well, it's just– well, Severus and I, we were getting really close, like becoming friends, but now all of a sudden he avoids me and never looks at me…"

Lupin gently touched her hand and looked into her sad eyes: "Sinéad, dear, promise me something."

"What?"

"Don't be sad because of that idiot again."

She wanted to smirk, but then saw the tenderness and love in Lupin's grey eyes and her heart filled with gratitude and joy. It wasn't that she would care about Severus more than she usually would about any other member of the staff; what she disliked was that she got on well with everybody except him. And it was her nature to be liked by everybody and to love everybody back. No. She just wouldn't put up with this. She will make Severus like her, either he wants it or not. For the sake of the good-natured spirit of the castle, no one must remain aside.

Unfortunately, she thought, Severus Snape remains so cold. Never looking at me. As if saving me from the Dementors was no more than a dream of mine. As if I was idealising him, as if he were just as Lily and Remus told me. She knew Remus was still talking to her, but she actually didn't pay any attention to what he was saying. He still held her hand, but suddenly, she realised that there was more than one pair of eyes fixed upon her. Not only Lupin's grey ones, but also Severus' deep black ones, full of pain, and also the blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore. She blushed, gently freed her hand from Lupin's warm soft palm and began to listen to him again.

Her afternoon class next day was with the Slytherin students. She expected it to run in the same manner as the Gryffindor class, however, the Slytherins were different. They were more reluctant, cold-hearted and less willing to accept the alternative direction Sinéad was offering. A pale, spoilt-looking boy with an annoyed expression on his face looked at her scornfully:

"So you aren't a wizard yourself?!"

She smiled. She had expected this question long before he asked.

"I am a wizard who gave up his wand to access this unexplored magic."

He looked at her in disbelief, but it seemed he was satisfied with her answer.

"And I would appreciate if you or anyone else would avoid asking such personal questions in the future."

He felt pain inside his chest. Very intense pain… As if someone was pulling his heart out from his body. He was sure that he had felt this feeling before, however, he was now suffering even more than at that time. At that time, James took Lily away from him for good. But she wasn't Lily. He mustn't let her eclipse his imaginary ideal sweet Lily, which belonged only to him in his fantasies. No, he must remain faithful to Lily. But at the same time, he felt there was something more than that. As he watched the filthy werewolf holding her hand and talking to her, as he watched him laughing and her smiling, he felt an odd grudge arising from his chest. Not for Lupin being part of the old stupid James gang, but now for being his rival. His rival? For what? What rival as he himself, Severus, promised not to cast his eyes on Sinéad again? Because he was giving up his Lily for her? He felt angry and confused of his own feelings. He decided to take an afternoon walk on the fresh air.

"That Mythology lesson was just a bunch of bullshit!" Draco Malfoy spat and turned aside from Crabbe and Goyle.

"I thought you said the teacher is fine?" Crabbe asked.

"I did." Draco retorted and folded his arms on his chest. "She's just– weird. How could someone sacrifice his wand and ability to perform charms and spells because of this?"

"Maybe it's interesting?" Goyle's voice was raised in question.

"No, you idiot, nothing is as interesting as to ditch your wand." Draco was pissed off. "There's something more to it. And I'm going to find out what it is." He quickly walked out of the Slytherin Common room and began his search for Professor Snape.

He found the Head of the Slytherin House walking across the schoolyards.

"Professor Snape!" He yelled in his cold voice and ran a little to catch pace with the black haired man. The man stopped and turned his expressionless face towards Draco Malfoy.

"Mr. Malfoy?" The professor asked in his bittersweet deep voice.

"I would like to ask you a question." Draco's authoritative tone was most irritable, it was even worse for Draco used it to talk even to professor Snape.

"Yesss?"

"I have certain… Doubts about our new professor of Mythology and the subject itself. Do you believe her abilities are enough to teach us?!"

Severus got paler with anger. Her again! Why must he talk and think of her only all the time? What is he supposed to tell him?!

"I believe you have a… certain reason for you concern, Mr. Malfoy… However, professor Dumbledore believes Mrs. Uí Bríain is more than capable of teaching and… that the subject of Mythology was necessary to include in the curriculum of Hogwarts."

"You haven't answered my question," Draco said argumentatively, when he saw Snape's facial expression, he added: "Sir."

"I think I must agree with the Headmaster. Now, if you excuse me," said Snape coldly, "I have other duties to engage with." He quickly rushed away.

"Dear Sinéad," Dumbledore said calmly, "the reason I called you in is to let you know some students expressed their disbelief in your status, your course and your ability to teach them useful things. This disbelief was most kindly reported by Professor Snape this afternoon." Dumbledore waved his hand towards the professor of potions, who was standing next to his bookcase and seemed as detached as always.

"I would like to thank Professor Snape for his kindness towards the student and towards me." Sinéad stepped closer to Snape and looked at him warmly with her soft green eyes, sending him positive energy of gratitude.

"I haven't said… anything that would not be true." Snape said steeply. He could ignore her presence, but he couldn't ignore this– warmth emanating from her.

"Is there any possible way for me to improve the situation?" Sinéad was honestly interested, she didn't want anyone to underestimate her powers and abilities just because of her alternative genre. "What can I do for Professor Snape not to be bothered with me again?"

Cease to exist, thought Snape, still watching her carefully without any clue in his face.

"I don't think you could do more than you do now, Sinéad." Dumbledore smiled kindly, "just remain enthusiastic about what are you doing and everything will go on right I'm sure."

"Then, I would like to thank Professor Snape and invite him, perhaps, for–"

"My apologies to you, Miss Uí Bríain," Snape interrupted her speech icily, "I'm afraid I don't tend to accept any invitations from my colleagues for I don't know how to repay them properly." He turned around and left the office.

She felt sad. She wanted to get closer to Severus, to try to understand his heart and the tension she felt the past few days, she wanted to make him like her as much as everybody else liked her. She also hoped to advance a little bit in her Severus-Lily case. She didn't know why was it so important to her. She looked with remorse at Dumbledore.

"Some people may need a little bit more time to… Find their way." Said Dumbledore and for Sinéad, it was one of the wisest things she ever heard someone saying and she made sure to remember it for the rest of her life. At the same time, she had a stealthy feeling Dumbledore is able to read her mind.

Since she agreed on her cooperation with Lupin, she had to make some practice even herself. She wanted to be absolutely sure that she could handle poor Lupin's wilderness, that she could make him less outraged and under control so that he wouldn't be dangerous for the students nor the staff in Hogwarts. Earlier during her visits on the school grounds, she encountered a grumpy willow tree who was aggressive to whomever would touch it. She then decided to go training a little. Curious, she smiled, a tree with so much anger and pain inside…

She picked up a rock and she threw it towards the tree to hit its trunk. It worked perfectly. The willow began crackling, whipped one of its branches and furiously hit the place where Sinéad had stood a minute ago. She jumped aside and tried to concentrate to ask the Spirit of Anger. However, she had to watch for the aggressive branches of the willow so she couldn't connect with the spirit at first. She had to dodge the tree and therefore, her concentration was disturbed. But this is exactly what I want, Sinéad thought, I wouldn't have time to think when Lupin would be in his wild stage. She had to run a few metres away from the willow to get out of its reach and began to formulate her thoughts.

 _I call thee, the Spirit of Anger, thou who gives passion and strength to the weak and cold-hearted, I beseech thee to listen to what I have to say._

How dare you speak to me?! Raged the Spirit of Anger, but this was his normal response, Sinéad didn't worry much about his unpleasant tone.

 _I need thee to help me tame the wild temper of the tree. Please, I beg thee._

Sinéad knew that she mustn't say anything which would outrage him even more. She just smiled and waited calmly and peacefully. She didn't say anything more. She knew that with anger, one must never try to beat it. Less means more in this instance, and kindness is the most important means of all.

She raised her arms into the air and began waving them slowly. Although very grumpy, the Spirit of Anger decided to be helpful to Sinéad. She was waving her hands and imagined that she was transferring the anger of the tree away slowly, like a steam. She was whispering calming words to the tree and after a while, it stood still and immobile. Sinéad yelled joyfully in her head and began to practise with the tree again, she wanted to improve the time span within which she is able to calm the tree down. She finished many hours later, tired and panting heavily.

It was the end of October and Sinéad just got ready to spend another rest of her evening with Lupin. He was gorgeous. She felt as if she could talk with him about anything, she literally felt the urge to protect him whenever she looked into his soft gray-blue eyes. She had just finished a vivid description of their life in their tribe and Lupin's gaze got even softer and full of love.

"Sinéad…" He took her hand into his and looked at her, "you are brilliant. I can't believe the teachers did that to you before I arrived. I mean, yes, you're different, but this is not any reason–"

"I know, Remus," she whispered and held his hand with her own warm one, she concentrated to transmit as much good and heartening energy as she could into his full-moon-weakened body. She was sorry, so sorry for him! Why had he to suffer so much? Poor Remus… She was sure she felt the stream of her comforting energy, for both of them closed their eyes and stayed like that for a few minutes.

"You were asking about Severus," Remus began slowly and carefully, he didn't want to tell Sinéad something she wouldn't like, but at the same time he desperately wanted to tell her all he could. "It's hard to say why exactly James loathed him so much. Maybe because of Severus' friendship with Lily. James quite fancied Lily, you know."

"Could he intentionally partake in the destruction of their friendship? Could he– possibly– set Lily against him?"

"It's really hard to tell," Remus ran his hand through his hair, "Severus had some bad friends and together, they intended to become Death Eaters, that's what everybody knew. However, Lily, on the other hand, knew him well enough to say if he was actually bad or not, I suppose."

"But there must have been some contribution of James, that Lily eventually turned away from him."

"Well, he called her a mudblood, this information ran through the school as a thunder. No doubt Lily turned her back on Snape, everybody would."

"There's always a second chance…"

"No, Sinéad," Lupin looked in her green eyes and took both her hands again, "you're too good, way too good for us… Something just cannot be forgotten."

"But Lily was too good also," Sinéad held her ground, "she would have forgiven if James–"

"Possibly, James could have persuaded her never to forget Severus," Lupin admitted and Sinéad remembered Lily's words two months ago. _I started to believe that James was a hero, the protector of weak muggle-born wizards and an avenger of all good innocent people like myself against the evil. Although my heart was still in pain due to the death of my friendship with Severus, I joined James and his friends and I started to hate Severus too…_ This sounded pretty much like James Potter's involvement. Maybe he just made use of the situation when Lily was angry with Severus and he turned her completely against him. Sinéad knew well how weak in the knees a woman can feel if a brave man rushes to rescue her from evil… In any case, it seemed that James didn't let Lily enough space to think about restoring her relationship with Severus; he was keeping her for himself and didn't give her any chance to forgive poor Severus. Now Sinéad was ready to do something about it. But what to do? The best solution would be to get them speak together and maybe, Lily would forgive Severus and thereby, provide him the much needed salvation. Sinéad hoped he would be less sad then… But she wasn't sure if it is possible to connect the minds of a spirit and a non-magus. It would cost me a lot of energy, she thought. Maybe it would be dangerous for me. But if that means I can relieve Severus of his sorrow, then I have to try it. Although… According to what Lily said, she didn't seem keen on forgiving him either. I must talk to her more about this, Sinéad thought. Now she isn't under the influence of James. She can do what she wants now. However, does that mean she wants to talk to Severus, after all?

"Sinéad?" Lupin asked, confused. "Are you all right?"

"Oh– yes, darling, completely," Sinéad smiled and felt guilty for not paying attention to Lupin, "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

"I was saying that we could try to… do that thing with me. Remember? You said that you would like to try something when I'm changed. The wolfsbane works quite well, thanks to Severus' kind assistance, so I think it would be safe enough for you now. If you want, there can be another wizard with us. What do you think?"

Oh yes, she wanted to try to seize Lupin's wild spirit when he was changed into his werewolvish appearance, just to try if she would stand any chance in case of emergency when Lupin would forget to take his potion or it wouldn't function properly.

"Oh indeed, just tell me when is the next full-moon. . ."

"In three days."

"In three– WHAT?!"

"Three days, tellin' ya!"

"Three days– I haven't said good by–"

"To whom?! –Wait, you said you weren't afraid of me!"

"Well just in case, if our little wolfie was in a grumpy mood that evening!"

They both laughed and Sinéad's eyes were filling up with tears of joy and new, but firm friendship.

He was pacing to and fro, he couldn't stop thinking. Lily was his dream, his life, she was the escape of his wildest fantasies, his goddess, his light in the dark! He couldn't change her for another woman, definitely not for this barbarian! He had to find a way to stop thinking about her, about the new one, but he couldn't, she was always there, and even though Lily was a hundred times better than this one, this one was real, and it probably was her greatest strength. No matter how he resisted, she was gaining power over his heart day by day.


	6. Severus' letter

**6**

 **Severus' Letter**

By the end of October, her lessons went really well. They celebrated Samhain, the Celtic feast which gave origin to Halloween, and Sinéad was impressed by the effort the students made to take their notes in her class.

"There are five basic elements in the nature. Who tells me what they are?"

"I thought four!" Hermione hissed under her writing desk, "the mug– everybody just says four!"

"Earth, Wind, Fire, Air," Harry started naming and Sinéad gave him an appraising look. "aaand…"

"Energy." Finished the teacher, smiling.

"But professor," Hermione yelled in her usual cheeky manner, "aren't all these forces manipulated by energy? Water needs kinetic energy to flow…"

"What I meant by energy," Sinéad wrote the word ENERGY on the blackboard, "is the energy that forms a lightning, or that flows through our muscles. It is estimated that fairies and spirits use this certain feature of nature, the sphere of energy for their deeds and existence. Energy is a powerful thing. It can give you clues about what is happening. Today, we will try an exercice."

The students were excited.

"Please untie your ties and cover your eyes with them."

They were astonished, but obeyed reluctantly.

"Now, I will call a fairy and will let it fly across the classroom. Concentrate and discipline your mind. Erase all the things that are unnecessary in your conscience right now and focus on the magical intuition inside you. Ready?"

 _Pádraig, my dear friend to whom I haven't talked for a while, please, appear._

 _"_ _My pleasure, human woman, what for?"_ Asked a small figure of a man, his statue was formed by pure energy. Sinéad explained to him, he winked and appeared next to Neville Longbottom.

"Well, I think– I think– I think I can feel it, it is near–" Hermione desperately tried to defend her status of the swot of the class. Sinéad smiled. The poor girl's attempts were far from reality. On the faces of all her classmates there was an immense amount of focus apparent.

"Well, I don't know– Well, I mean I feel something– I have a feeling that there was something near me, or I had the feeling of inexplicable tickling at my heart– this sounds silly, just forget what I just said–"

"No fear Neville, there are 10 points for your wonderful insight!" Praised him Sinéad with pride in her voice. "You may now remove your ties from your face."

The students did so and were in great wonder when they spotted the supernatural creature. The fairy waved to them and disappeared.

"Professor, will you teach us how to call them?! Will you?!" Hermione shrieked and trembled with feverish attempt to learn something new and be the best in it again.

"No." The magical voice of the teacher sounded in the classroom. "The main goal was to get you in touch with one of the sources of energy. We will spend the next few weeks by learning the energy of your spells and trying to sync with that energy to our advantage."

"What do you mean by 'sync'?" Asked Ron Weasley.

"There is a theory of mine that the flow of the energy of your spells could be… adjustable. We will see what we can do with that. But for now, please take out your notebooks, we need to discover more about lightning and energy flow of the nature. Swiftly!"

Sinéad knocked shyly on Snape's office door in the evening. Her head was full of what Lily and Remus had told her, but she didn't want to let the cat out of the bag. Not now. There mustn't be anything that Severus could notice. She needed to ask him for help with Lupin's transformation. She didn't know why is she going to ask him, perhaps because she held him in the highest esteem in terms of his skillfulness with his wand. At the same time, she didn't know if he will accept her appeal, after all these days of cutting her dead.

"Yesss?" Asked Severus in his deep voice which she couldn't help but like. His tone was neutral and he showed absolutely no emotion, as always.

"Severus, I would need your help." She smiled encouragingly. He stepped out of the doorway as to let her in and carelessly offered her a seat at the fireside. Sinéad looked around. There were many books, the majority of them very old, and a few flasks with potion ingredients. A big solid sturdy wardrobe, a four-poster bed with a purple velvet bed cover over the large bed sheets, a desk and two armchairs, one of which she was using at the moment. All the furniture was made of ebony and the walls were dark, illuminated only by a torch here and there. Snape caught her gaze as she was looking around the room.

"I infer you like my private room, mistress?" Snape asked, a slight smirk at his face. Sinéad felt amused. She loved that feeling when she knew there's always something more under that cold appearance of his. Something more than he would show.

"Would you like to have something to drink? Wine, or tea?"

"Are you fond of wine, Severus?" She asked.

"I was asking the first."

"I would like the same as you'll have then."

"A glass of wine then. Which might answer your question." He smirked again and two chalices of red wine appeared on the small table that stood in between the two chairs.

"On the most beautiful woman in this room." Severus raised his hand with the crystal glass of wine. Sinéad felt weak in her knees again, but after a second she gathered her wits.

"I think you must have already had some of the wine," she said scornfully.

Severus raised his eyebrows slightly: "If I'm not mistaken, you're the only woman in this lonely chamber. That means you have to be the most beautiful one since no other is here." He got her. He got her again and her self-dignity was gone. She was helpless and silly in his presence again. Damn it, she thought. My effort to present myself in the best light was for nothing. I'm in his clutches once more.

"Isn't it queer?" Said Severus and sipped his wine as if she weren't there. "I promised myself not to cast my eyes upon you ever again." He didn't know why was he so jovial that night. Perhaps he grew tired of his own attempts to ignore her the previous two months. He was trying to put up with it now, that he simply couldn't manage to ignore her. She felt miffed: "What for?! I haven't done anything to you."

"Well, and that is, more or less, the problem." He exclaimed cold-heartedly and watched her carefully with his cold, black eyes. "I wish you would. I wish you would have done something horrible to me, so I would have a proper reason to avoid your presence."

He truly wanted. He wished he could forget he rescued her from the Dementors, or at least he wished he could pretend he was keeping her alive as a pet for Dumbledore, as he did with Harry Potter. He wished she had a quality that would be at odds with what he expected an accomplished woman to be like. He wished she were more arrogant so that he could save his breath by avoiding her, he wished she were more vain so that he could scorn her as he did with Potter, he wished she were lazy and annoying so that he wouldn't even bother to cast his eyes upon her. But she was none of these things. She was innocent and pure. She always did her best and was always truly sincere. She knew no hypocrisy nor pride, she was as natural as she could be, except for dressing up a little for every day spent in the modern society where she had to maintain her worth and looks, to avoid the least necessary condemnation of staff or students. She was like a view of a lake landscape in a shiny clear blue day: she had to keep herself attractive for the human audience but at the same time was undeniably herself. When he engaged into a conversation with her, it seemed to him as if he would delve into a magical autumn forest, illuminated by golden light and decorated by colourful fallen leaves, but at the same time unpredictable, unrestrained and full of magical creatures and fairies. Her aura was stronger than all his attempts and Sinéad finally got what she has been asking for. He finally got to like her.

"I noticed you were talking to Lupin a lot."

"Yes, he's wonderful." Snape frowned and pressed his lips thin.

"What has he done to you?"

He gave her a long, thoughtful stare: "You are just… Extraordinary…" Yes, that is the word. Extraordinary.

"Shouldn't you answer my question?" She asked, trying to sound as detached and uninterested as possible, but deep inside she was slowly falling for his deep eyes.

"It would be best if I showed you," he sighed and put down his glass. "You are a very remarkable lady and I should once and for all get rid of all… Rumours inside your head." He gently took her hand and took out his wand putting it onto his temple, his face was expressionless again. A tiny silver thread was hanging at the end of his wand, by waving his wand it flew closer to Sinéad.

"Take it, if you wish," he smiled, slightly, still holding her hand. As soon as she touched the silver fibril, it sucked her and Severus in.

 _Twenty-years younger Severus Snape was holding a letter in his hands and was weeping unconsolably. His shoulders were shaking with the heavy sobs and tears were falling on the piece of parchment he was holding. Sinéad reached her arms towards him and tried to hug him, but she couldn't. She was almost transparent and she heard older Severus' voice next to her saying: "Don't try, I wouldn't have felt it anyway." They all were in a dark closet, full of broomsticks. Suddenly, three voices were heard passing by._

 _"…_ _and I told him: 'You better piss the hell off, Malfoy, I don't need to see your bloody stinky ass around anymore!"_

 _"_ _Nice one, James! He'll remember that!"_

 _"_ _There is nothing to praise, Sirius. James, I still think you shouldn't raise your wand at him for no reason–"_

 _"_ _Shut up, Moony. Since when are you collaborating with the Death Eaters?"_

 _"_ _I'm not collaborating with anyone! I was just trying to say that–"_

 _"_ _Hush!" The steps ceased. "Did'cha hear that? From the closet?"_

 _There was a flash of fear in Snape's eyes._

 _"_ _You better check it out, Moony! If you don't want to join your slimy dark friends, 'fcourse!"_

 _"_ _I'm not joining anyone!" Lupin opened the door of the closet and saw Snape holding his tear-wet letter. The Gryffindor student stared at Severus in silence._

 _"_ _What's there, Moony?"_

 _"_ _Well, that's just–" Lupin was pulled aside by Sirius, at the same instant James dashed in and snatched the paper away._

 _"_ _Well well, what do we have here? A teeny letter for our little Snivellus to cry over?"_

 _"_ _G-Give it back!" Severus shouted, his voice weak, cracky and trembling._

 _"_ _Oh, a letter for our Snivellus from his Mummy!" James burst out laughing and Sirius roared with laughter. Lupin looked with an expression of confusion and pity at Severus, however, he didn't do anything._

 _"_ _I think I shall keep that!" Cried James and put the letter into his pocket and came face to face with Severus' wand._

 _"_ _Give… it… back!" Roared Severus, however, Sirius pushed him back into the closet and shut the door behind him. All the three lads then began running and bouncing away, out of the sudden joy of their newly acquired trophy._

The memory disappeared and Sinéad found herself standing in Severus' chamber again. She was shocked, and looked questioningly at him for explanation.

"It was a letter about my mother," Severus looked into the fire and sipped his wine wryly, "it said that she was beaten to death by my muggle father who was an alcoholic. He died of it several months later so I didn't have to face him ever again. During one year of Hogwarts I became a complete orphan."

Her eyes were filled with tears: "Severus, I– I am so sorry…" She said, her soft contralto voice wet and plaintive. Her face bore a disastrous expression and she touched his hand slightly.

"And you think… That it is Remus' fault?" She said, now she tried more than ever to pass all of the good energy she had onto Severus via the touch of their hands. "You think that if he didn't tell that he saw you in the closet that day, that your letter would be saved?"

Severus nodded and looked into the fire, his eyes now sad and deep again.

"In fact," he continued, "this provided a subject for them to bully me for the rest of our school education here at Hogwarts. Kind of a sad story." He said bitterly. Sinéad didn't know what to do. She longed to cast herself into his arms, she wanted to comfort him even if she had to use her own maiden body for it, at the same time she felt she couldn't repay enough what he surely had to go through during all those years.

"Severus, I don't– I don't really know what to say, I–"

"You don't have to say anything. All I wanted you to do is to have all the facts before you start… to form your acquaintances. And your opinions." He got up from his chair and leaned himself against the sill of the fireplace, "understanding… All I ever wanted is only that. And I never got it from anybody."

Sinéad got to her feet too and said softly: "I suppose this is not the best time for me to ask you if you could help me in my attempts to get control over Lupin in his werewolvish… time of his month?"

He gave it a deep thought. She could see the traces of disgust still apparent in his face, but she truly believed… that he would do it for her. She truly believed in him.

"I would never recommend anyone to tease a werewolf, even when he is under the influence of the wolfsbane potion. You know that."

"I do. All I want to do is to ensure the students and staff are safe even if something goes wrong."

She was so brave… Never thinking about herself for a moment, always prepared to sacrifice all for what she believed was best… Severus was desperate. She reminded him of Lily so much. So much! He tried his best to remind himself: She isn't Lily… She isn't Lily… Wasn't that the reason why had he avoided her? Shouldn't he think over his decision and perhaps try even harder to cut her dead? Snape sighed and approached Sinéad slowly, playing with his wand in his fingers, a neutral expression on his face again. "To be honest with you, Professor Uí Bríain," his tone was neutral as well, "I don't have a slightest idea if I will be of any use to you… Never in my life had I to face a werewolf."

"I'm sure you can do it, Severus. I'm convinced that you are the strongest wizard in the castle, no one would have managed better than you, in anything." She smiled, encouragingly.

"Well then, I'd be delighted to help," Said Snape with a slight smirk again and somewhere inside him, there was a warm bubbly feeling of being praised which he couldn't resist but like. Sinéad didn't mind his smirks. She felt differently now about them and about his cold utterances also since she knew more or less the reason behind them. Suddenly, Snape froze in the middle of his trailing around his office and quickly dashed to the door.

"The Headmaster is calling all of the teachers to his office immediately."

He flung the door open and rushed towards the darkness of the corridors, followed by Sinéad, who was still lost in her thoughts about him.

"The situation is urgent. Sirius Black attacked the portrait of the Fat Lady and it is essential for us to search the castle in case he's still there. Severus, would you kindly look through the dungeons and Sinéad, I ask you–"

"Headmaster, wouldn't it be better if Ms. Uí Bríain went with me?" Snape asked in his usual detached manner, but the content of his utterance warmed Sinéad's heart. He cared for her. He really did…

"I think I would be grand on my own," she smiled at Severus and Dumbledore, they were the only ones in his office, the rest of the staff had already dashed into the castle.

"Well then, Professor," Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, "would you search the second floor with the classrooms?" She nodded and ran away.

In her mind, she had called the Spirit of Fire to help her find her way. Now she was holding a fire ball in her hands, illuminating a few metres in front of her in the cold dark castle. She paced swiftly, but took care to look carefully behind every corner, behind every sculpture or gargoyle. She nearly screamed when she encountered an enchanted a giant Jack'O'Lantern flowing in the air towards her. Is it possible that it is the Samhain Eve tonight? She wondered. Time passed differently in Hogwarts than with her own tribe, for here she was only teaching, communicating with the spirits and chatting with her colleagues. At home, she would help with the sowing, the harvesting… So she would have known a good few days beforehand that Samhain was about to happen. It was a dark liminal time, when the boundaries between their own world and the spirit world would blur, so the fairies were sometimes crossing from one world to another, some of them moving to their winter dwellings. She would have to be exceptionally careful with her magic tonight.

Suddenly, she saw a shadow behind a stone statue of a goblin. She stretched out her arm with the fire and slowly approached the shadow. It was a big black dog. She started laughing, but the dog snarled threateningly at her, prepared to attack.

"Doggie! What are you doing here, my dear! You scared me nearly to death!" The animal stopped snarling, it looked at her in an ominous and unfriendly way.

"C'mon, ye don't have to fear me! I won't do anything to ye!" She smiled and pet its head. "I didn't know there were any dogs in this castle, I'm new here, just a couple of months, ye know…" The dog began banging his tail on the ground and looked way more friendly now.

"Hm, I suppose you are Hagrid's dog?" She asked, smiling, still petting its head. The dog seemed happy and barked.

"Well, lemme see… They are securing the castle, but perhaps I could sneak you out through the window of my chamber? You would jump out and go to Hagrid's, ok?" It barked and licked her hand with gratitude.

So off they went to Sinéad's chamber. The dog seemed stressed and walked with her almost involuntarily, she had to call him sometimes to follow her again. They went into her room on the ground floor and she opened her window.

"There ye go!" She cried out with joy and the dog leant its front paws on her shoulders and licked her cheek. He almost knocked her down.

"Go now, pal!" She laughed and the dog jumped through the window and was gone. Sinéad wiped her cheek and smiled. "Yer stupid dog…"

She then went on with her search for Sirius Black in the castle again. When she was finished, she reported to Dumbledore she hadn't found anything. None of the teachers did. That was lucky, she thought. I don't know what would I do if I had to face Sirius Black alone. I'm so glad that the students are safe… I am so glad that Harry Potter is safe…

For poor Lupin, the night out of bed when they had to search the castle for Sirius Black had devastating results. He was even paler, with his eyes darker and his under-eye circles bigger.

"Sinéad, I– I really don't think it's a good idea for you to be dealing with me tonight!" He whispered to her in the morning.

"Nonsense, dear, me and my companion are already ready for tonight!" She jovially laughed and took a slice of her favourite wholemeal toast.

"I really mean it, I– I feel weaker than usual. Who knows if the wolfsbane potion will work properly tonight?"

"Remus, I do really see your concern. But everything had been arranged! Your presence in the Shrieking Shack, Severus' presence…"

"Snape?! You haven't told me you chose Snape!"

"Is there a problem?" She raised her eyebrows, as if unaware of the mutual heartwarming relationship between the two men, "I thought Severus would be of the most capable companionship this evening!"

"Well, but, just–" Lupin seemed out of his breath, "just promise me you would back if the situation got dangerous for you, will you?" He hold her hand, care and love in his eyes. Sinéad's heart melted again. How could be this pitiful and gorgeous human being responsible for Severus' school miseries?

"You better prepare yourself to be gentle and easy tonight, Lupin…" Severus' sharp utterance disturbed the cloud of kindness forming between SInéad and Remus, "Miss Uí Bríain kindly agreed to try her best with your lost existence, how-EVER…" The end of his sentence was sharp like a knife, "that doesn't give you any better prospects I'm afraid…" He rushed from the Great Hall, Sinéad noisily pushed back her chair and ran after him.

"Sinéad, no!" Lupin shouted and tried to catch her hand; she slipped out of his palm and ran away.

She caught up with Severus in one of the side corridors leading to the dungeons.

"You really shouldn't have said such mean things to poor Remus, Severus, even though you have a reason to say them," she said, looking softly into his dark eyes. He paused a little, seeing all this gentleness and love in her gaze, but turned away after a few seconds.

"Don't you think it's inappropriate for your position to tell me what to do?" He smirked ironically. Sinéad felt hurt again and wanted to take offence. But she knew that with doing so, she would end up precisely the same as last time– chased by the centaurs and Dementors.

"Severus, darling," said she as warmly as she could, "the only one thing that I want for you both is the best I can wish and hope for. I want both of you to feel happy and loved. And I don't like seeing people hurting each other. This is all I have to tell you and this is all I feel."

He was astonished. Her body and voice were radiant with love, she emanated it to all directions. I know now who you are, red-head Celtic princess, he thought, you are the Goddess of Love. You are the only one spirit I am willing to believe in… He now desperately longed to be loved, to be loved from the only one human being whom could love the best… He didn't know what happened to him, to his feeling of anger and hatred which he felt a few minutes ago.

"Do you think I could ask you one more thing, love?" She said gently, softly, like a mother speaking to her child, "do you think you could teach me how to defend against the… dark creatures that are moving around the castle now?"

"Well…" Severus thought that he cannot say no– there was something which made it impossible for him to do so, even though he had most often difficulties with saying yes, on the contrary.

"You know how important it is to me," she made eyes at him now, "since I am not as brilliant as you are."

"I can try my best," Severus replied and rushed into the dungeons. He wanted to be alone now. His heart quivered like a duckling and it was minutes later that he could actually breath out and calm down his trembling hands.


	7. A night with the werewolf

**7**

 **A Night With the Werewolf**

Sinéad prepared herself for the uneasy task she was facing. She promised Lupin an absolute safety and no harm if possible, she assured him that they would surely find a way how she could deal with his werewolvish version. But although she was so resolute on the outside, she felt insecure inside. Lucky me that Severus would be there for me, she thought. It was strange. The more she knew him, the more she liked him. He seemed cold, tough, unfriendly and strict, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for her so far. All she asked for, all she wanted and all she needed, he was there. Grumpy, but was there. All of a sudden, she was sure that if she woke him up in the middle of the night, he would grind his teeth and would maybe spit a word or two, but would help her in any situation. And this is, after all, all that matters, she thought. And regarding Severus' unhappy experience with the mankind, Sinéad thought it very brave of him. That he still hasn't given up. That he still fights, and not only for himself, for everybody. But rarely anybody sees it. Dumbledore thought it wise to initiate her to his special business with Severus, so she valued the Potion master even more. When they met in front of the Whomping Willow, she expressed her gratitude that he came. She was determined to praise him and cherish him as much as possible, to repay what could never be repaid.

"Are you ready?" Severus asked with a slight concern in his voice, "you don't have to do this, you know. The wolfsbane potion works fine…"

"I know, dear. But there must be a greater protection system I suppose. You have to admit that this castle is tailor-made for disasters, from what I have seen during those four months."

"What a decision to make…" he looked in her eyes, deeply, as there would be so much more to say than that.

"Has he taken his potion tonight?"

"I truly hope so."

"Me too," she laughed over Severus' joke. She waved her hands again and the willow stood still as any other tree. My training truly gives me credit, she thought, smiling. Severus casted her another look and entered the passage after her. For the last few metres they had to crawl on all four and Severus considered it fortunate that she went first, for he would rather see her bottom than let her to see his. They were all dusty and dirty from the earthen passage, and she slowly entered the living room of the half-fallen house.

She saw a strange creature huddled under the two-and-a-half legged piano. It looked like a big grey short-haired dog, but it was bigger and more terrifying. It raised its head when she entered and yowled a little.

"My dear poor Remus!" She whispered and stretched her empty hands towards him as to let him see she has no weapon and therefore, the poor beast should not be afraid. She knew that animals attack mainly because they are scared, and she wasn't sure how much of an animal is now present and alive in Lupin's mind. Severus entered silently after her, taking a long hard disgusted look at the poor werewolf.

"Remus?" She whispered, kneeling down a few metres away from him, "can you hear me?"

The werewolf pricked up its ears and seemed interested.

"Sinéad… Don't…" Growled Severus, his wand in his hand.

"Can you hear me?" She asked again softly. The werewolf nodded slightly and looked desperately sad.

"Do you think we could try what we were saying we were doing?"

Lupin nodded again.

"Stand up from under the piano," she said slowly and carefully, as if negotiating with a suicide. "Turn around and begin destroying the furniture behind you." She turned to Severus: "It sounds silly, but you will soon see that this is the best way we can work with him."

The werewolf slowly crawled on all his four legs and gave Sinéad another I-would-rather-you-wouldn't-be-here look. Then he turned around and began tearing a wardrobe as she were saying. She shivered by the sound of cracking wood, but forced herself to concentrate. It's just another Whomping Willow, she told herself. She closed her eyes and activated all her spiritual connections. She called the Spirit of Anger again and he, reluctantly, agreed to help her to calm the wild beast down. She focused even more. She connected her fingers and closed her eyes, connecting herself to the werewolf's soul. She saw a weird grotesque mixture of animal-like and human feelings, the animal ones were stronger but the human ones were somehow… powered. As if charged. She threaded anger on her imaginary energetic wire and began to draw it off. She was waving her hands and concentrated only on conducting the huge amount of emotion accumulated by Lupin's outburst over demolishing the furniture away. Suddenly, the werewolf stopped destroying the table and furiously looked at her.

"Lupin, no!" She screamed when the werewolf gave her a furious hit with his claws. She lashed out and a wave of fire repelled him away. He looked sad and guilty again and refused to cooperate further. Severus in the meanwhile stretched his hand in a protective gesture in front of her torso.

"I think it's time to go, Sinéad."

"But why?! It went so good!"

"Yes, for some time he really ceased to attack the furniture, however…" Severus' dark eyes looked directly into her green ones, "there was something that outraged him further. Maybe it was you making him losing his power." He led her forcibly to the entrance to the Shrieking Shack.

"But it doesn't make sense!" She protested and tried to get away from Severus' tight grasp, "why had he gained a new source of power when I was constantly removing it from him at the same time?"

"That is no concern of mine." Said the Potion Master adamantly and pulled her into the tunnel. "And thereby I forbid you from now on to mess with the werewolf. You could have been killed."

"Can I mess with him when he is not a werewolf then?!" She didn't know why she said it. She spat it out as a poisonous snake bite.

"Mess with whomever you like you little freak, as long as it doesn't concern me." He snapped and violently threw her out from the tunnel from underneath the willow. He waved his wand and the branches froze to stillness. "If I were you I would express more gratitude to me since if I remember correctly, I just saved your nice little butt for the second time as you would surely remain with the werewolf for the rest of the night and get yourself killed, you fool." He turned round and dashed away into the darkness, his long black cloak streaming behind as usual. Sinéad was staring into the deep night and felt hot tears of humiliation were streaming down her cheeks. She began sobbing, she weeped and wailed.

"Why?!" She cried and hit with her clenched fists to the ground, "why did it go like that?! I wanted to help him, I wanted to help poor Remus! My poor little darling!"

"Do you have something to do with Remus?" A calm voice asked from the darkness. She jumped and her eyes grew with fear.

"Who's there?!" She yelled.

"Just your friend, the Dog," a tall unkept man smiled and stepped forward from behind the trees.

"You-you're the man everybody's looking for–" she breathed out and trembled weakly. "Sirius Black…"

"And you are the sweetest woman I have ever seen," he smiled and touched her rosy cheek with his dirty fingers, "but don't yell so loud, otherwise I won't have any other choice than to commit the crime that I was sentenced for…" He stepped closer to her and she could feel his smell, the sharp tang of an unkept body and long-worn clothes.

"Please… Don't kill me…" She whispered and watched him with terror in her eyes.

"I won't," he laughed a little and continued, looking at her with his soft, deep eyes, in which there was, if Sinéad saw correctly… Love?

"What business did you have with Remus? Are you his…"

"No, I am not his girlfriend or anything," she smiled, surprised of the easiness of her own words, "I hoped I could help him with my powers, actually, I thought I would help the other inhabitants of the castle too, in case of emergency…"

"Your powers?" Sirius Black raised his eyebrows, "you are not a witch?"

"No, I– That doesn't matter," she waved her hand carelessly, half hoping that the prisoner wouldn't be interested and would let her go.

"I cannot thank you enough for caring for my old friend," said Sirius with heartbroken cracking voice. "He deserves it, he bloody deserves it. I would immediately take him under my roof, if I ever could. But for now, young lady," Sirius gently took her hands into his, "would you like to hear a story of a sad man?"

There was something about him that unabled Sinéad to say no.

She felt desperate. So desperate. After she heard Sirius' story, she lamented several hours and then just lied prone and cried from time to time, sometimes slept. Sirius changed back into the black dog form and was laying beside her, warming up her back with his furry body. The day was breaking when Sinéad finally got up to her feet.

"I'll bring you something to eat, Sirius," she said weakly and was about to go back into the castle when Sirius' voice stopped her.

"Can I ask you one thing, sweet wild princess?"

"No Sirius, I am not bringing you any victims of your revenge," she said wryly, tired of everything.

"No, that's my business and not yours. I would like to see my godson playing Quidditch. Do you think you could sneak me to the morning match?"

"Of course, dear," she yawned, "but no one has to know. Now you'll run to the stadium and hide under the stands' cloth, Gryffindor if you please. I will bring you your food there and cover you with my skirts so that you can have a space to watch. After the match, you wait under the stands and will leave with your food packet when everybody else is gone. And no shenanigans. Or else I find you and curse you as I can."

Sirius laughed heartily and Sinéad strolled to the castle, worn out as hell.

At the exact moment she crossed the doorway of her own room and was looking forward to a nice little nap, Severus Snape threw the door open, bearing in his face the true expression of despair.

"My goodness!" He hugged Sinéad tightly, before realising what he just did and pulling away quickly. "Where have you been all night?!"

"Well, I–" She stammered, not knowing what to say.

"Don't tell me you went back to Lupin?!"

"Well, I– Yes, I did," she pulled herself together and instantly began working on her lie. "I wanted to see… If there's still something to be done." She smiled feebly.

"And was there?" Asked Snape.

"No." She said, regretting her own mask of kindness which she just constructed for herself.

"You mustn't deal with the werewolf alone." Said Severus less sharply. "You are our only hope, you are the only one who can make us better."

Who can make me better… He thought when he was gently closing the door behind him.

Sinéad waited until the last students were gone from the classroom she was just teaching. After getting over Sirius' attack on Halloween, the whole school was upside down by the Dementors' appearance at the Quidditch pitch. She brought Sirius a giant bag of food as she promised, publicly pretending that she couldn't make it to breakfast and is as hungry as a werewolf. Dumbledore and Snape knew of her night mission with Lupin, so they weren't surprised, and nobody else dared to ask. What she couldn't understand were Dumbledore's words he breathed to her when the staff was leaving the stands: "There is so much pressure on Harry right now, and much more is to come. It would be great if he could let go of his steam and you could learn something of the wizarding world…" How could she possibly help Harry let go of his steam? Is that another stupid remark of the wizards? She delved again into her problem concerning Lupin and suddenly jumped and ran towards the Gryffindor house.

"Excuse me," she said politely to a second-year ginger girl who was passing her by, "could you call in for Harry Potter?"

"Sure thing," smiled the red-haired little one and disappeared behind the portrait.

"Teachers have a granted entrance to the common room my dear," the Fat Lady smiled at Sinéad who suddenly felt embarrassed for she had to remind herself (as for the thousandth time) that she was a teacher. An adult. A mature woman. Her peers were having children and families. She was curious whether Méav or Eimear had married since she left? Were they starting a family already? Perhaps she was an aunt, and she didn't know! She suddenly felt homesick to death and she longed to be with her people at this very instant.

"Hey, Ginny told me you wanted to see me, Miss Uí Bríain?" Harry, whom had just returned from the infirmary ward days ago, asked in his usual manner. His voice, unfortunately for him, naturally had a slightly arrogant and authoritative pitch.

"Indeed I wanted to." She said and ignored the curious glances of the Gryffindors going to and from their house. "I want to arrange a meeting of the two of us."

"Is it because of my results?" Harry said faintly, "I know they are poor, but I promise I'll do my best to improve– there's just a lot of things on me now–"

"No, boy," she smiled kindly, "I am going to help you."

"Help me?" He seemed confused. "How?– I mean, with what?"

"You will see." She said, her tone suggesting their conversation is nearing its end. "Is Wednesday evening convenient?"

"Yeah, sure," Harry wondered why the hell does the young woman want to see him alone. He was nervous a little.

"What did she want?" Asked Ron hungrily when Harry returned.

"She wanted to organise a meeting with me. She said she would help me."

"Help you?" Asked Hermione in the same confused way as Harry did seconds ago, "with what?"

"I don't know. She said I'd see."

"Poooh, Harry has a date!" Booed Ron.

"Ronald!" Hermione yelled and Ginny casted them a surprised look from her knot of classmates. "It must be important when she wants to see you. Oh, I wish a teacher would like to invite me for a private consultation!"

"Hermione, they are usually glad you exit the classroom." Ron threw in and the two of them began to fight.

In the evening, she went with a food packet into the Forbidden Forest to leave it there for Sirius. Poor man, thought she, poor, poor darling. When she went back to her room, Lupin was waiting for her there. He looked awful. He had dark circles under his eyes, he was very pale and looked more scruffy than usual.

"Poor dear Remus!" She cried and rushed towards him to hug him in the friendliest manner she could.

"Dear Sinéad," Remus looked at her, warmth in his eyes and a loving smile on his face again, "can a desperate man like me ask but for one night with such a lovely lady? I need you more than ever. I feel horrid. Filthy, dirty and... damaged. Please let us both stay together, drink tea and talk, I ask no more than your comfort and friendly support. Please Sinéad, please!"

She wanted to cry in the inside. She couldn't say no again, and she began feeling very, very abused. Do I look like a sewer for all your emotional waste, boys?! She thought grudgingly, but one look into Lupin's face made her heart melt and she opened her door in a welcoming gesture.

"I cannot thank you enough," Lupin was gleaming with joy the next morning and casted at Sinéad one smile after another when they were walking down the stairs, being passed by numerous groups of students who too rushed for their breakfast. "Last night was one of my best times ever, and I am so happy that I could be with you, Sinéad." She smiled and nodded, however, inside her she was as dry as a desert, desperately calling for watering or for a rest. She felt she has to push on, she has to be there for all of those who need her, she has to save Lupin, she has to save Sirius, she has to save Severus, she has to save Harry… Harry! She had an appointment with him this evening! She shook her head. She felt overworked, although teaching-wise she showed average results. Suddenly, a cold hand grabbed her shoulder.

"You will surely excuse Miss Uí Bríain for a moment, Lupin," Snape smirked wryly with an open-faced contempt destined for nobody else than Remus. When Sinéad and Snape were out of earshot of everybody, he spat spitefully.

"Did you spend last night with him?!"

She seemed truly surprised and miffed: "Why are you asking such a thing? Were you eavesdropping a minute ago?!"

"Tell me this and tell me no more, did you spend last night with Lupin?!" He screamed at her.

"Yes I did!" She screamed back at him, outraged by such coarseness, "what business is it of yours?!"

"I knew it." She never heard such hatred, such disdain, such madness in his voice than she did now, "you tart. We're finished. Everything that has been between us is over, did you hear me?!" He yelled at her and dashed away.

"Wait!" She shouted, hot tears streaming down her eyes, "what was between us? What is over? Why?! I don't understand…" She whispered and knelt down, burying her face into her fingers. Everything was wrong. Her presence here was in vain. She couldn't help Sirius. She couldn't help poor Remus. She didn't have yet a chance to help Harry. And Severus wounded her so much that she felt her heart would die from pain.

"There there, what do we have here?" A soft hand gently patted her shoulder. When she lifted her tear-bathed eyes, she saw Dumbledore standing by her side. She began weeping and sobbing.

"Albus…" This was the first time she called him by his first name, "I feel dead. I cannot go on. I need to go, please, let me go, I need to leave this place now!" She burst into tears again and had to be escorted by Dumbledore to his office. After hearing what was there to tell, Dumbledore seemed lost in his thoughts.

"I have to admit that I didn't expect such turning point, Sinéad. Apparently, more than one man fell for your personal charm and magic and now they are fighting over you like a pair of cocks I would say," he added with a smirk.

"But I didn't want any such things!" She wailed, her face crooked from her cry.

"My dear Sinéad, tell me one thing," Dumbledore said calmly and softly, "did you become intimately close with any man here in Hogwarts?"

"No!" She burst out in anew, "I haven't! I swear I haven't! I'm a colleague and a friend, but not a mistress of anybody! Is that what they were thinking I were?!"

"I am afraid that at least Severus did, from what we can judge."

"That's awful! That's the reason he kept asking me about the night with Remus!"

"You've spent a night with Remus Lupin? But you've just told me you were–"

"Yes I have!– I mean, it's true, all I've told ye is true, Remus and I were just talking and drinking tea and we really enjoyed ourselves! He needed me, after his dreadful change back into his human self! So we spent a whole night like that, for God's sake!"

"This is what happened? Nothing more? Just chatting and drinking tea?"

"Yes! Why are ye all so particular about spending a night talking! Is there something wrong with it?!"

"Of course not. The problem is that our dear Severus interpreted it in a different sense. No wonder, even I would…" Dumbledore murmured with a slight tone of amusement in his voice, however, when he saw Sinéad's desperate expression, his speech became serious again: "Everything is alright now. No more harm will come to you anymore," said the Headmaster resolutely, "you will go to your family for a week and we'll hope the atmosphere gets better. Don't worry about your return, everything would be alright. Do you believe me?"

"Yes, Albus," she smiled a little, "yes I do."

"And do you want to come back to Hogwarts to help us all again?" He asked, but she knew he didn't demand anything of her.

"I don't know… I suppose so, but– It's really hard to say."

"I see. Your suitcase would be here in a minute, as well as something nice to eat. You've missed breakfast I suppose. Is there anything yet that has to be arranged before you leave?"

"Yes, please, Albus," she smiled softly, "I would like to leave here a note for Harry Potter that our today's appointment is due next week. Also," she paused, hesitating whether to say it or not, "there's a wild-dog family in the Forbidden Forest and I was feeding them the past days, so if somebody could come at least once when I am away and bring them food at the edge of the forest. They know where to find it."

"Of course. I will send an elf. How kind of you, Sinéad."

"Thank you, Albus. For everything."

Severus Snape was pale with anger. How could she? After all that he had done for her, she has done nothing in return. Nothing. And what was worse, after all he had shared with her, his memories, his privacy, his soul, this was how she paid back! When she knew Lupin was one of the main reasons for his problems! He felt misused, betrayed, jilted. When he finally managed to make himself forget about Lily when Sinéad was nearby. But was even worse, what was the worst of all, was the fact that she even never had actually been his. He didn't have any right to act as he did and to blame her for her actions when she was still a free unengaged woman. What was making him cross was the fact he didn't know his own feelings about Sinéad well yet, nor he did know why were he claiming her for himself this morning. He was torn apart between Lily and Sinéad.

"Cancelled? Your appointment with Uí Bríain was cancelled? That's not what I would expect her to do," Hermione speculated excitedly over her cauldron. It was the Potion class and Harry had just received a message delivered by professor McGonagall.

"Silence!" Growled Snape, walking in between the desks and watching the students' struggle with his instructions for the Cure-all Potion. However, he could hear well that the Potter-group mentioned Sinéad's name. After making sure no one was watching him, he moved slowly more closer to hear better what they were saying.

"Seamus Finnegan says he'd seen her running away from the castle with a bag over her shoulder," whispered Ron excitedly, "and I've heard McGonagall chatting with Lupin and telling him that Sinéad was falsely accused of something very serious."

"Accused falsely?" Hermione nearly yelled and the neighbouring students casted her a look, "of what?"

"Maybe it concerns Sirius Black's attack of the Fat Lady," Harry thought, "maybe she helped him to get into the castle."

"No, Harry," Hermione looked at him with a great seriousness in her eyes, "you heard what Dumbledore said. No teacher would help Sirius Black get into the castle."

"I know, but still," Harry was resolute to maintain his point of view, "what do we know? She could have."

Severus almost forgot he was listening to somebody else's conversation. He quickly finished his pacing through the classroom and gave them all an extremely difficult homework.

"My child!" Cried Aengus and grasped Sinéad tightly. All the members of the tribe were happy to see her again, all the women, men and children. She hugged everybody and it took her dozens of minutes before she greeted everybody and everybody greeted her.

"Didn't they like ye, my child?" Asked the father with great concern in his voice.

"Yes father, they did," she assured him weakly, not quite sure of her own words.

"So why are ye coming back?" He roared good-heartedly and slapped her into her back.

"Because I missed ye so much," Sinéad smiled and dropped a few tears, these ones were the tears of joy.

"No no, ye have a secret of yers!" Her father didn't stop teasing her. "Yer married, or at least engaged, are ye?"

"No, father, I'm neither," she looked sad for she remembered the recent events that she just ran away from.

"No worries, darling, I don't want to expose you to the first herder that comes around. But, ye know… I thought that ye would already be married and laid when ye come back, so I already married Eimear off…"

"What suicide– I mean who wanted to marry her?" Asked Sinéad curiously.

"Cú Chulainn, our best warrior!" Cried Aengus and began chuckling and clapping his big hands. It was a custom at this tribe for the young women to find a husband in the summer season and to wed at the Samhain festival, for they would get laid just before winter comes and then they would give birth during the summer again which was much more convenient than to deliver the baby in the middle of cruel and cold winter. Therefore, the custom was just a very practical way how to start your family life.

"Well, I was actually saving him for ye, but I thought that maybe ye find yer own husband out there." Aengus confessed tentatively.

"Father, I wouldn't like to live with a warrior," Sinéad smiled and raised to her feet. "Where is the newly wed young woman?"

"Cooking for her husband, as every good wife should do."

Her sister was changed beyond recognition. Her usual expression of bravery and slight arrogance was changed by a sad and torn-off one. She was toiling over a meal in the stove, her cheeks red from the fire, her eyes full of shadows, her hair messy and unkempt. Sinéad leaned over the doorway of the shanty and she watched her sister's misery.

"Why did ye come here?" Growled Eiméar, "do ye enjoy yerself? Do ye like what'ye see? Are ye content now?!"

"Why should I be happy with my sister's misfortune?" Sinéad asked calmly, her hands folded at her chest.

"Because now," Eimear panted and wiped her sweaty dirty forehead, "ye finally have a proof of your superiority. Years and years I've been fighting with ye over the privilege of the best successor of the chieftain, and now ye finally won. Isn't it nice?"

"No, it isn't. I never intended to win. In fact, I've never played any game. And I am sorry if you did."

"I don't believe ye."

"Believe what you want."

"I surely will."

"What's your husband like?"

"He's an arsehole."

"That's nice to know. Why did you marry him then?"

"First and foremost," Eiméar turned around from the stove and now she was facing her sister, whom looked in her fancy Hogwarts robe like a princess, "because he tricked me into lying with him. And I was too ashamed to tell father so I told him I want to marry my husband. I feared the consequences."

"And are there any?"

"I don't know yet. But I'm sure ye would be happy if there would. Yer ambitious little sister, chained to this goddamn shack while the queen enjoys herself in the stone palace. Ye don't have to make faces at me, Méav told me well how your new home looks like."

"Where is she by the by?"

"Training somewhere with her new skill which you kindly enabled her to develop." Eimear answered wryly, close to tears of humiliation.

"Run away."

"What?!"

"Run away from yer husband if yer not happy with him."

"Yer mad! I can't and ye well know it! Besides, father would kill me!"

"Better be dead than unhappy I'd say."

"Also, how about– Well, the..." Eimear paused and placed her hand on her belly.

"I don't think ye'll have a baby, Eim…" Sinéad said softly, stepping closer to her sister and placing one hand onto her shoulder, the other on her belly. "I can't feel any connection with the new soul that would possibly be there. I'm sorry."

Eimear's face went from surprise to a slight sign of happiness, than to disbelief: "Perhaps yer senses are wrong. Or yer lying to me."

"I thought ye don't want the chile."

"Me too– Well I don't know if I want it or not. If I only had a place to run away to…"

"Ye can run away with me."

"It's yer own place. I won't be stealing its being for ye. I have to find my own place. Either here or somewhere else, it depends upon the chile in my womb."

"I just want one thing from you," Sinéad continued quickly when she saw Eimear's new expression of fury, "never to see you as unhappy as today."


	8. Everybody goes soft

**8**

 **Everybody Goes Soft**

Sinéad was eventually happy about her unexpected visit. She cherished the moments with her family and was looking forward to seeing her favourite tree again. The tribe believed that when Sinéad's mother died, her soul moved into that tree and Sinéad liked to hug the trunk from time to time, just to feel the flow of energies of herself and the tree mixing. This time she couldn't find the tree so she went to ask her father.

"Father, where's our tree?"

The chieftain clouded over: "Well, ye see, me little gal, things come and leave. There was this thunder which hit the tree of yer mother and destroyed it. I am sorry."

Sinéad felt that her whole world is falling apart again. She stood aside for her father wouldn't see she was crying.

"I should have never left. Everything's changed so quickly."

"F'course ye should'ave, babe," her father patted her back gently, "yer a mighty gal and yer sort them all out."

Sinéad's eyes grew wide with amazement: "How do you know?"

"Birds talk," he chuckled and pulled Sinéad with his big hand closer to him, "ye little flowa, yer father has a present for ye." He passed her a shiny new violin.

"Father!" She cried and couldn't believe her eyes. She weighed the violin in her hands, to make sure it's true and real.

"Ye remember yer last violin, babe?" Aengus asked with his loving voice that now grew soft to crackling, "we had to sell it because Eiméar was seriously ill and we needed money for the medication."

She remembered well. How difficult it was to part with her beloved instrument which she would play every day!

"Where did ye got this one?" She asked.

"As I were saying, the tree got destroyed by this great thunder. But yer father saved the wood from the trunk and had ye made this beautiful thing."

"Father, this must have cost ye a lot of money!" She exclaimed and still hesitated whether or not to accept the gift.

"Don't worry about it," he waved his hand, "happiness of his eldest gal is worth all the money of the world to yer father."

She threw her arms around his neck.

"I'm so happy! Thank you so much!"

He shyly patted her back: "Anything to make ye happy, my flower."

"No, seriously. Where did'ye get the money?"

"Well, Méav is also working a little…"

"She is working?! Where?"

"Here, she is actually a Healer. Many Pork-heads come to her because she has already cured many lost cases. All thanks to ye. Ye helped her discover her gift."

"Oh, father," she turned red, "I only gave her a chance to show what was inside her."

"And that's precisely what we have never done for Méav," her father nodded and gently grasped Sinéad's shoulders. "We missed ye so much babe."

"What's with the word 'babe'?"

"Well I've heard some Pork-heads saying it and I liked it," Aengus grinned impishly. "Go see yer youngest sister, she's been asking for ye all time."

"Maybe you know why I called for you both," Dumbledore began speaking with a serious expression in his face. "A grave incident has taken place and I need to discuss it with both of you now."

Severus casted Lupin another pissed-off look and waited what Dumbledore had to say.

"Severus," the Headmaster turned to him, "I am afraid it was your false accusation that made Miss Uí Bríain flee the castle."

"Headmaster, I don't believe what I told Miss Uí Bríain wouldn't be true."

"Really? And what had you told her, if you can be more specific?" Dumbledore asked in his don't-try-to-fool-me voice.

"If you truly wish to delve into such personal things, Headmaster– And to be honest, I consider such questions of you to be truly high above your area of business– I accused her of her utmost disloyalty to me as she had spent a night with Lupin."

Remus' eyes grew wide: "What?! She didn't!"

"Firstly, Severus, I can't imagine why would you think that Miss Uí Bríain should be loyal to you in any manner, for, as she herself told me, she had no relationship with anybody here at Hogwarts and what's more, as Remus here kindly confirms, your accusations, however inappropriate, were false."

"But she herself confirmed she had spent a night with him, and I overheard them saying so at the staircase."

Before Lupin had the chance to yell another: "What?!", Dumbledore raised his hand and stood up.

"Yes, she confirmed, since she was unaware of the second hidden meaning that we usually perceive under the term of 'spending a night with somebody'. In her sense and understanding, it means simply what she and Remus had done precisely, which was what?" He turned to Lupin.

"Chatting and drinking tea! You thought about something else?! Oh my God!" Lupin exclaimed and seemed that he would start laughing.

"Are you telling me that she was just chatting and drinking tea with you?!" He bitterly spat his poisonous words to Lupin, who shivered, "not actually aware of the other meaning that I was asking about? And so she confirmed?!"

"Yes, this is exactly what happened," concluded Dumbledore, "I would kindly ask you Severus to apologise to Miss Uí Bríain as soon as she gets back to the castle, if she ever gets back of course." He sighed, "for none of us can imagine the shame and frustration she must have gone through. We better hope it didn't get to hear to the students. Thank you Remus for an assistance, you can go now."

When quite shocked Lupin left the Headmaster's office, Dumbledore turned to Severus.

"What I don't get is the reason why had you accused Miss Uí Bríain of adultery. After all, even if she decided that she wants to belong together with somebody, that is her own personal free decision. And you wouldn't have any right whatsoever to have any objections. You cannot claim what isn't yours, Severus. Maybe you have feelings for her, and maybe she would have had feelings for you as well, anyhow it was, now your hopes are even tinier." The Headmaster was tough, but all he wanted was to protect Sinéad the best way possible. "For nobody could stand being insulted in public, the more an honest and faithful woman as she is. Thereby I forbid you from now on to hurt her verbally in a similar or any manner whatsoever. Whatever she does, it is no concern of yours unless it touches you directly. I hope you understood me well, Severus."

"SIIIINÉÉÉAAAAD!"

A mane of red hair ran across the meadow and jumped at Sinéad who just returned from her violin practice from the forest.

"Méav! What a surprise!"

"Is it?!" The girl yelled and Sinéad smiled. She looked more mature and more courageous.

"How's Severus?"

"Wait– how do you know him?"

"Sometimes I ask the necklace about ye and it tells me," Méav explained and smiled. The necklace from Dumbledore sparkled in the daylight.

"Why are you asking about him?"

"Because ye certainly like him, no doubt," smiled her sister.

"I don't know how he is."

"Yer cross?"

"Yes we are."

"About what?"

"He yelled at me I slept with another teacher." She couldn't believe how easily those words slipped out from her mouth.

"How was it?" Méav grinned.

"I DIDN'T!" Sinéad roared, but then started laughing.

"That's mad, I'm gonna punch him. He's not gonna insult my big sis. What will ye do then?"

"I don't know. Maybe I can have Lupin to explain to him– No, that's not real. He wouldn't believe him."

"How about making Severus sleep with you? After that he would have felt for himself that you were a virgin and he would apologise."

"I wouldn't on Earth go so far for an apology. Besides, I could never be with such a manipulative person like him," Sinéad wondered and started an imaginary row: "Where have you been? –Just in the forest, singing with birds! –Who was there with you?! –Just the birds! –No way I could be with someone like that!" She added in her normal voice.

"Maybe you could ignore him to death," Méav breathed out and they both started giggling. Well, that nearly happened with Lily. I have to arrange the appointment of Lily and Severus, she reminded herself. However, she wasn't sure if she wants to help Severus now, after all that happened.

"What do you think about Eiméar's marriage?" Sinéad tried to change the topic.

"Honestly– I wish her the ill luck." Méav said wryly. "She has what she asked for."

"She's been tricked ye know." Sinéad reminded her.

"She says she has been tricked. What do we know?" Méav shrug her shoulders and continued walking with her older sister. Relationships of my own people would need to mend, Sinéad thought and started to feel overworked again. There was so much pain between people, even her kin, which she thought would be wiser and more empathic than the rest of the world. She would believe Eiméar that she had been tricked into sleeping with the warrior, as well as she partly, a little bit, agreed with Méav that Eiméar had kind of deserved her fortune. She made a mental note to speak with Eiméar's husband about it.

"How is your healing career?" Sinéad smiled, changing the theme again.

"It goes so well!" Méav casted her sister a wide smile and began to go on about her healing career with the wild tribal people and beyond.

It was a clear freezing night at Hogwarts. Remus Lupin sat at the edge of the lake and he was looking into the distance with his sad, greyish eyes. He promised Harry to teach him how to defend against the Dementors and he tried to remember his happiest memory. So far it had been a memory of his parents, but that recently changed to the memory of the whole night he was with Sinéad. He got angry when he thought of how she was humiliated by Snape. The rumors are heartless and it would be no wonder if the whole school soon knew he had something with Sinéad, however untrue it was. He sincerely hoped she would come back to Hogwarts, she reminded him of Lily so much... He missed her so much. Was he in love? He couldn't tell. Maybe, and maybe it wasn't the typical falling-in-love feeling. It was the kind of love coming from admiration. He admired Sinéad for her bravery, beauty, kindness, her strong endurance and will to help everybody in any occasion. He suddenly wished to be hers, to be owned by her like a little puppy, to lick her hand and to curl up at her feet in the bed. It was a silly thought, but still, it was something Remus Lupin wanted very much at this moment. He sighed and hugged his knees as if it were her arm hugging them.

"Yer Eiméar's husband?" Asked Sinéad one of the warriors that was dressed up in the fanciest way of them all. He got fair hair, a slight trace of a moustache and blue cold eyes.

"Yeah, and what? Who're ye?" He asked in a dull voice.

"Yer sister in-law. That doesn't matter. Why had ye tricked my sister into the bed with ye?"

"Tricked?! No way, ma'am. I didn't trick her. She wanted to go herself. I only told her what I believed, that the very first night doesn't count."

"Doesn't count to what?!"

"Gosh." He breathed out. The conversation obviously bothered him. "That she won't be with child. I truly believed it. But later she found out that this was a lie, she got cross and went bananas that she was. And I had to marry her."

"And why is she so unhappy now, young man?!" Sinéad stroke sharply.

"I don't know, that is no concern of mine, I let her be on her own and take care for the household."

"And this is wrong! You have to be there for her, because now she really doesn't know if she's pregnant or not. Plus she is new to this stuff, so don't be a sissy and kindly help her."

"A husband helping his wife with the household? Outrageous."

"I will be outrageous if ye don't do as I say."

"Ye don't live here." He snapped, but shivered a little.

"Plus," Sinéad continued as if she didn't hear his last remark, "she is considering to run away from ye. So if ye don't want yer name to be mud, yer help her."

With those words, she went to practise her violin again.

 _"_ _Poor, poor Sinéad!"_ Lily pitied her when they encountered again, _"I didn't really think you deserved that from Severus!"_

"Me neither." Sinéad growled and folded her hands reluctantly.

 _"_ _Although I have to say that I would expect it,"_ Lily smirked, _"because that's just the way he is."_

"What do you mean?"

 _"_ _He was just like that when we were kids,"_ said Lily, _"acting like he were owning me. Claiming me. Saying that I couldn't do this or that. I could have gone nuts because of that,"_ she chuckled, _"some people just have no limits and Sev is unfortunately one of them."_

"I thought having no limits is essentially a good thing."

 _"_ _It mostly is, but it has its dark side too. Nothing is impossible for these people. Which means good things but even bad things. Since everything is possible, they can do bad things to people just because they can and they can own everybody whom they want to and basically, everything is allowed for them because everything's just there for them."_

Sinéad shivered: "This is just like a whirlwind, sucking everything in."

Lily nodded: _"So it is."_

"Is that one of the reasons why did you flee to James?"

Lily's smile froze on her face and she slightly nodded: _"I-I just couldn't stand it. He was so... Possessive. Of everything. We could do this, and we could do that, and blah blah– He was making me cross with all that. I just felt trapped, I had to escape. I mean then was the thing with the insult and so it could be over completely."_

"I wish you wouldn't tell me! Now I fancy even less to reconcile with him."

 _"_ _You must, it would be worse otherwise,"_ Lily thought, _"you just have to know where your limits lie. And he cannot cross them, otherwise you would be cross with him."_

"Well that's a very good idea," Sinéad thought and smiled.

In the mornings, Sinéad rose with the tribe and helped them to do their usual daily chores, as she had done when she lived with them. They cooked themselves vegetable meals as usual, for they all refused to hunt for their daily portion of meat. However they did have meat occasionally, but that was very rare. Recently, the tribe agreed during it's Quarterly Meetings that their children would go to school. To a common Pork-Head school. Sinéad welcomed this resolution very much, for she considered it absolutely necessary for the development of their kind. Only now she saw the effects that the educational system of Hogwarts had on her, the fact that she wasn't illiterate anymore helped her prestige to grew even more among her people and she believed that the innovation in education and preserving their traditional values is sustainable at the same time. She also played her new violin, cherishing it even more because of the reincarnated soul of her mother which she believed was there. She played it every day, giving more and more enthusiasm into her playing, as she was remembering the old songs she used to love. She played them with such ecstasy, with such delight, her hair dancing in the afternoon sun, her right arm wiggling swiftly from side to side with her frenzied playing which only those watching a violinist would understand. She closed her eyes and was swinging airily from side to side as she was embraced by the lovely tunes of the violin. Her smile went wide from ear to ear and she made a few steps as she was enchanted with the music. She kept playing, her tunes completely sound, as if she never let go of the musical instrument. She began dancing lightly, flying around like a butterfly, turning and swinging, jumping and scuttling. She laughed and leaned over a tree trunk as her song came to an end. She exhaled and closed her eyes in the pure feeling of happiness that reverberated through her body.

From behind a tree, there suddenly was an appreciative slow clapping of hands. She quickly turned her head and saw no one other than Severus Snape himself. He was half-sitting on a great stone that stood in the middle of the forest where they were.

"Did you spy at me?" She uttered a bitter remark, still well remembering the pain he had caused her. When she saw his face, everything came back to her again.

"Indeed, and as a pretext I chose the fact that our Headmaster would like to know whether you would like to return to Hogwarts." Said Severus in his usual half-ironic voice with which you never know when he's joking and when he's not.

"Did he send you or you went on your own?" Sinéad was interested.

"He sent me," Severus replied and when he saw the fading little glimmering fires in the red-haired woman's eyes, he smirked and added "and I also went on my own."

"Don't make a fool of me!" She yelled, the corners of her mouth twitching as she tried hard not to smile.

"I wouldn't dare to make a fool of you," Severus smiled at her and came near her, looking her deep into her sparkling green eyes, "you are completely sufficient for that job yourself."

Anger got into her again: "You– you! After all ye've caused me, ye stand before me as plainly as ye do, without any apology of ye, and what ye do? – Yer smirking and offending me again, as if I deserved your poisonous words, ye should repent yer actions highly!"

He stepped close to her and gently put his finger on her pink lips: "Nobody said that I don't repent them. This is just my way of acting. I haven't got to have many friends until now, so I might be a little bit clumsy. All you have said is true, you certainly would deserve an apology from me. I'm just not really accustomed to saying these things. Maybe one day I would be able to. I wish I would."

"How about me and Lupin?" A little trace of threat was still apparent in her voice.

"I got to know, mainly thanks to our Headmaster, how things were. I couldn't imagine it happening in another manner, and yet, it was so. I made a mistake. I'm sorry." He whispered and if you would study his face profoundly, you could tell that he really was. There was a tiny expression of regret hidden under his usual impartial peevish one.

Sinéad was moved. She knew he couldn't have said it otherwise, he wasn't able to do it. She threw herself into his arms and stretched her arms around his neck, her long red hair covering both of them like a bride's veil. Snape could smell the scent of her hair, naturally foresty and flowery. He gently hugged her and she felt he truly had much more to say, all the time… He could also feel her body under the fabric of her long emerald robe, and realised this is the closest he ever got with any female person. He remembered hugging Lily's dead body as well, but this was of course something incomparable. When she pulled away, she looked into his dark eyes again.

"There's something we have to make clear." She said, looking him into the eyes and bearing a serious expression on her face again. "I am an independent person. I can hang out with whomever I want. I can do whatever I want, and even if I wanted to spend a night in your interpretation, it's no business of yours. Dig that?"

"You're so cruel." He sighed, but she again didn't know if he was serious or not.

"Yer Severus?" Méav's voice appeared from behind the trees and she emerged from behind the bushes. Sinéad didn't suspect her from eavesdropping, she knew that her sister heard them and came nearer to see what's going on.

"Yes," Sinéad answered instead of him, "this is Severus Snape. Severus, meet my sister Méav."

"Which one of your younger sisters is that?" Severus took a long hard look at her and Méav suddenly shivered. He didn't look friendly. She suddenly felt a strong urge not to be there and she felt scared.

"She is the youngest." Sinéad said and still waited for the newly encountered ones to shake their hands or something.

"Interesting…" Severus kept looking at Méav with his cold eyes and she felt more degraded with every second's passing. How can Sinéad possibly like him? She thought. He's hideous. He looks like a murderer who would love to see his prey dead. And he has an expression on his face suggesting that I am a stinky pile of mud and I should run away immediately. And so she did.

"Do you find her interesting?"

"Not as such," Severus replied, "it was just interesting how different are you two. I always thought sisters are very much alike. She has a rounder face than you have, more child-like, she has bigger eyes, and not green but blue."

"You noticed the colour my eyes are?" Sinéad smiled and that voice in her who wanted to be adored and loved by men giggled.

"Just guessed," Snape stammered, realising he had gone too far and muttered, "because all the bloody gingers have green eyes…"

Saying goodbye was hard. She regretted she didn't have more time to investigate Eiméear's problem, or to be with Méav who really deserved it (she admitted to Sinéad she were to go to school as well as the rest of the children of the tribe), or to be of more help to her people, or to be with her father whose heart would fell apart from losing his eldest daughter again. He tried to be as polite as to invite Severus for dinner, which he refused with many thanks. But she was happy Severus got to see one afternoon of her kind of people. She did not know how impressed he was (if he even were) but she hoped that now she wouldn't be a target of his caustic remarks. Before she realised it, she was standing in Dumbledore's office again.

"My dear Sinéad!" Dumbledore exclaimed and greeted her with a smile, "I suppose you could refresh yourself properly with your family?"

"Oh yes, thank you," Sinéad replied half-automatically, unsure of the validity of her response herself. Snape looked as intact as usual.

"Severus and I have something to discuss quickly, if you excuse us," the Headmaster smiled again and took leave with Snape.

Sinéad was looking around and she realised this was the first time she was left unattended in the Headmaster's office. She looked nervously at the portraits, one of which said: "Nice robe!" and went back to sleep. She was bored for a few minutes a little bit, however, she suddenly cast her eyes upon the Sorting Hat which was laying immobile on one of the shelves. At this moment, she got a stupid idea, maybe since she was bored. She stood up from her chair and took the hat from its shelve. It seemed distracted.

"Urgh-uh, who are you?" It exclaimed, obviously annoyed.

"I am Sinéad, I'm sorry I'm not a witch–"

"I instantly knew that, foolish woman. Who are you then, if you are not a witch?"

Sinéad wondered how to explain it with a minimum time span: "I am– another magical creature. I was wondering if you possibly could tell me to which house you would put me?"

"Impossible. Non-wizards shouldn't even see Hogwarts. You shouldn't even be here. How am I supposed to tell you which house you'd be in," the Sorting Hat said scornfully.

"Please, Hat. I know that you would see the important personal qualities even in non-wizarding people."

"Impossible," said the Hat again, "how can I sort you when you are not a–"

Sinéad put forcibly the hat onto her head.

"You stubborn woman! You won't leave me until I tell you, huh?" It sighed with resignation. "Lemme see... I usually put most of the ginger heads into Gryffindor, you know. They have something in them which is fitting for that house. But you, you have something other which overshadows even your hair complexion... You are kindhearted, very kindhearted, no doubt, but you are also pretty wise and originality and unpredictability are your alter egos. You have also a quite a bit of wild temper in you, and if you were an element, you would turn into the wind, blowing and floating, here and there... I got it, you would be– HUFFLEPUFF! If you were a witch of course." It finished it's cry with a semi-sarcastic remark.

"A Hufflepuff, huh?" Sinéad heard a familiar voice. It was Remus, leaning towards the doorway and smiling at her, "it is being rumoured that Hufflepuffs are one of the best people ever, in terms of compradeship and kindness…"

"Therefore, you should've been a Hufflepuff instead," Sinéad laughed and got to her feet again, she put the Sorting Hat aside and approached Lupin to hug him joyfully. He was surprised, but he didn't object. Moreover, he put his hands on her waist in hesitation and looked into her smiling face.

"Sinéad, I–" he swallowed nervously, his hands still on her waist, "I have to tell you something…"

"What do we have there, Lupin?" Snape's cold voice cut his speech as a sharp knife, "choosing your next prey, are we?"

"Severus," Sinéad squeaked and Lupin never looked more angry. "I was just congratulating Sinéad for her sorting out as a Hufflepuff. Unfortunately for you, Snape, she is a Hu-ffle-puff, not a damn Slytherin. so she is none of your interest I believe."

Severus got pale with anger, prepared to spit out something terribly bitter and he would certainly have hurt Remus' feelings and those ones of Sinéad too again be it not for her quick-as-a-flesh reaction: she folded her arms and made the most scary look at Severus as she was able to, something like I-will-beat-your-bloody-soul-out-of-you-if-you-dare-insult-me-once-more and believe it or not, he restricted himself from saying what he was about to say. That was a little victory! He wrathfully turned around and hissed: "Don't make any foolish hopes, Lupin, it is not over… yet." He turned to Sinéad with much kinder tone than he had used a second ago, "the Headmaster says Potter is expecting you tonight, Miss. I hear you have some arrangements with him. Have a nice evening." He softly touched her forearm and dashed away.

"You have something to do with Harry?" Lupin asked, agitated.

"Yes, I promised him to do an activity mutually beneficial to both of us," Sinéad smiled and with sparkles in her eyes and a slight bow, she turned back to Lupin. "Excuse me, dear? You were saying?"

"Oh, nevermind, no," Lupin gave a faint smile, "I was just wondering if you would like to– No, forget it." He smiled nervously. Sinéad now felt she developed a stronger liking for him than ever. For his grey eyes, gingerish moustache, for his waggish smile, for his kind heart, for his joyful nature that was so similar to her own. She put her arms around his neck again and said, simpering slightly.

"Lupin, darling, you must say it. I absolutely loathe this kind of manner," she sounded half-serious, mimicking playfully a way of an 18th century-lady speech, adding extra intonation and pinpointing some words of her utterance in high-pitched squeaking; all this to make Remus chuckle again. He smiled and gave her his well-known look from below.

"I love the dimples on your cheeks." He whispered with a smile and she laughed wildly with a spirit so free and unchained that almost made him want to dance with her, to hug her, to kiss her and to never let her go. Remus Lupin felt so happy as he scarcely did in his whole unfortunate life. She made him forget of his furry little problem and with her, he believed he would have been a very happy man. However, he knew he could never tell her. That he fell in love with her the bloody night they had spent chatting and drinking tea. Still slightly touching her waist, he said:

"I was wondering whether you could– whether you'd like to go with me to the teachers' Christmas party?" He whispered with the most tender and soft voice.

She burst into laughing again: "I didn't know there was a teachers' party!"

Lupin, although trying to be serious in his proposal, burst into laughing as well: "F'course there is, where else could you see Minerva McGonagall drunk with brandy dancing with Dumbledore all night?"

"Minerva drunk? No wayyy!" She could barely speak due to laughing so much. She had to wipe her eyes since they started to wet with tears of laughter. They totally forgot they were still in Dumbledore's office and unfortunately, the Headmaster came back into his office this very moment. He gave the two braying teachers a questioning look and smiled too.

"Dear Miss, I wanted to greet you in the best way possible, however, I see Remus has already conducted this task so well that I won't keep you two from further amusement. Just don't forget you have an arrangement with Harry tonight." Dumbledore winked, signaling the conversation was over.

"Thank you, sir," SInéad said, trying hard not to laugh again. Remus however burst out laughing and both ran out from Dumbledore's office as a pair of teens.


	9. Shopping in the Diagon Alley

**9**

 **Shopping in the Diagon Alley**

It was two weeks until Christmas and Sinéad was really pressed for time. She had to schedule some review classes for her students to practise before the exams, she had to buy some Christmas presents for her friends and relatives with that little money she gained, she had to hand-make some of the presents for she believed that the best presents are those which are made by heart. And she had so many relationships to maintain! With Remus, with Severus, with Dumbledore, Minerva and all the other members of the school staff, but with Lily and Harry as well. She also noticed that now in December she began to feel quite cold, and realised with many worries that her wardrobe might not be sufficient for the climate at Hogwarts. So far she possessed only one very pretty emerald robe (which she wore in the public and for her classes), two simple green dress made of coarse fabric (those she wore in times of leisure), one dressing gown for sleeping, one négligé as her only piece of underwear, a pair of stockings and a woolen shawl. This shawl was a customary thing to wear in her tribe for the winter, worn almost like a poncho wrapped around one's body. I would need a proper coat, she was telling herself. However, she didn't know the value of things in money, and she couldn't imagine if what she had would be enough to buy herself a coat. Nevermind, she thought, I can always warm myself somehow. The presents for my friends are more important.

She met Harry near the giant staircase leading to the first floor of the castle. He looked slightly worried and anxious about such a meeting. Sinéad greeted him joyfully with a smile and a cordial shake of hands and her first question astonished him.

"Where in this magical world people buy presents?"

He stuttered, ascending the stairs: "Y-You certainly must know, Professor. You surely have been to this place many times: the Diagon Alley. You know, buying your wand and everything."

She pulled at his T-shirt and drew him into the first empty classroom she could find. He looked almost frightened and not knowing what was happening.

"Look, Harry, there's something I have to explain," she looked at him, panting excitedly, "I am not a wizard."

"I know. You've gotten rid of your–"

"No, Harry. I've never been a wizard. I come from a Celtic tribe secluded in the mountains. I came to the wizarding world in summer for the first time. I don't have a clue about this magical world so far whatsoever."

"Wow. That's amazing. What if someone finds out?"

"I don't know, Harry, they can't. It mustn't happen."

"Why are you telling me then?"

"Because I trust you." She grasped his shoulders and looked him straight into the face. Their green eyes met. He saw her face as he never did until now. The wild, glittering eyes. The freckles all around her nose and upper cheeks. Her dimples and her dark-pink lips which must have certainly been painted with a lipstick. Her pale, almost transparent skin and her shiny ginger hair.

"No worries," he said, "I'll keep your secret."

"Thank you," she smiled again and began pacing to and fro in the empty classroom with chairs lifted up onto the tables. "Now to our task, sorry for the delay again."

"I hear it was something with Sn– with Professor Snape."

"Is it rumoured so?" She asked with anxiety in her voice.

"Just a little. Some row or something."

"Well that's fine then." She breathed out with such a relief that Harry couldn't help noticing it.

"Don't you want to tell me what it was?" Harry asked, regretting such cheekiness instantly. The Professor smiled kindly and shook her head slightly.

"Maybe later, thank you. And you? Would you like to tell me about what has been bothering you those past few weeks?" She began pacing in a circle. Harry began doing so as well, facing her as they were circling amongst the tables.

"Maybe later. Thank you."

"Well then," she smiled and stopped, "would you like to wave your beautiful wand to push these tables off? We would need more space."

"I don't know how to do it," he admitted with a slight blush, "but Hermione would know, you know. She's brilliant." He added nervously, trying to get out from an embarrassing situation.

"I reckon she would," Sinéad smiled, "do you want to help me to push them away by ourselves, then?"

He nodded and they began pushing the tables.

"What do we do here exactly?" He panted heavily.

"I need you– to cast spells– upon me," she panted as she was pushing one of the tables. He gave her a shocked look and wanted to oppose her, but she silenced him.

"Look, nobody has ever casted spell on me, or cursed me. I need to know how to defend against these spells. I need to gain an advantage by the element of surprise, because if I started running in zigzags, everybody would know that I am a greenhorn to magic– to your magic."

"But I don't want to hurt you."

"You don't have to intend to cut my legs when you cast them," Sinéad smirked and stood opposite Harry, "a simple, harmless one will do."

"So what exactly do I have to do now?" Harry asked, still confused.

"For the beginning, I need to see the spell as such, you know, I've seen a little of them so far," she smirked again, "can you do something very basic let's say, with the tables?"

"Vingardium Leviosa," Harry exclaimed, flicking his wand and pointing with it at the table. It flied into the air and was floating on one place. He looked at Sinéad nervously. She came closer to him to an arm's length and began examining his wand and the trajectory of the spell. She closed her eyes.

I must focus on what do I see… What do I see? It's like an energetic wire, always moving, the energy in it always flowing… But the direction of it is interesting, it flows only to one side, it flows only from the boy's brain through his arm and wand into the air and to the levitating object. But how shall I manipulate it? It's a brand new type of energy to me. It is not any emotion, it has nothing to do with humans at all, so to say… It concerns only energy. If I have to defend, what will I do? One way would certainly be cutting the energy wire and thereby to interrupt the spell. But is it even possible? The majority of spells surely happen in a second's fragment, I shouldn't think I should interrupt them. The other thing is, how? How would I interrupt them, if I lack the source wizards use?

She was looking at his wand closely for at least ten minutes. Harry became more and more nervous. At last she said:

"Harry, hit me."

"What?!"

"Hit me with your spell."

"I can't! You're my teacher!"

"Just do it! The levitation spell!"

He reluctantly obeyed. For Sinéad it was a brand new sensation. She had never been hit with a curse. She was flying in the air, one leg below the other, her hair untangling from the usual bun in which she kept it and floating wildly around her hair. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation. The vibration, the tingling. It was a harmless spell, so nothing could happen to her. She enjoyed the floating and thought again.

There is a magical sphere all around me now. The energy levels in it are much higher than the usual levels in a human body. Which means, I should call the Spirit of Energy. But there's no such thing. I think I have to call the Spirit of Lightning instead, at least before I come up with something better. I could accumulate some static energy nearby and increase my own energy levels. By that, i could manipulate the energetic sphere around and probably break it. Yes, I'll do it.

Harry maintained the spell, looking nervously at his red-haired teacher. Now when he knew the truth, he admired her for her effort. Although many wizards surely considered her as inferior (he overheard some yelling at the staircase), she was always so kind to everybody. He remembered times when he needed her help and would come to her office many hours past the lights-out concerned about his work for her classes, she would always help him, no matter what. It might be this, it might be the influence of the conversation he had had with Lupin, and it might be her appearance which all led him to his question.

"Miss? You know, my mother, Lily, she was a ginger too."

"Yes, Harry, I know," she said, half absent in her thoughts.

"I think you look very much like her."

Although he was still holding his wand in his hand, and though he hadn't broken the spell, it suddenly terminated and the professor fell onto the ground, screaming as if in pain.

"Miss, are you alright?" Harry rushed towards her and supporting her arm as she was trying to get back onto her feet.

"Yes, Harry, I– I just– I think I hit my ankle," she hissed and clenched her teeth.

"Professor– Miss– I'm so sorry," Harry didn't know what to do. It surely was past bedtime and if he went to fetch help for Miss Uí Bríain, it would indicate he wasn't in bed himself and he would be punished. Instead, he seated her on the ground and supported her back with his arm as he sat down as well. He knew that the wisest thing to do would be to risk his own punishment and bring someone to help her. Yet, he wanted to stay with her a moment longer. How irrational. Please, somebody, come, he said in his thoughts and tried to occupy her mind by talking.

"You know, professor," he began as she leaned his back to his arm for support, "my mum looked just like you. I often think that Dad and Mum would be very happy together. Her cooking meals and caring for us, my Dad playing with me, teaching me Quidditch or some– ehm– lesser known spells. I often wonder how even the simplest things would be, you know, what their favourite meal would be. The worst thing is that I'll never know. My father could have liked fish and chips and my mum would have loved Haggis, what do I know? I'll never know." He didn't know why those words slipped from his mouth and why was he telling them to his professor, whom, as he just learned, had no wizarding skills at all. And yet, he didn't despise of her. He felt emotionally concerned instead, as he imagined she had been living in this strange world, having no relation to wizards and having to pretend she was somebody whom she wasn't.

"It's OK, Harry," she smiled faintly, "I'm fine, it doesn't hurt now. Just promise me you will keep my secret."

 _"Vegetable stew,"_ Lily's voice suddenly resonated in her head, _"my favourite meal would be vegetable stew. Just tell him sometimes you found some old friends who told you or something."_

Sinéad planned to visit the Diagon Alley as soon as possible, for she had to buy some second-hand dress which she could bring to perfection with her embroidery. Or some nice fabric perhaps, for she had sewing skills as well so it would be possible for her to make her own dress for herself. Just see what I'll find, she thought. I can also handmake some gifts for my friends. But firstly, I have to ask Dumbledore. She sighed. She had no idea how much the things in the Alley were, she had no clue whatsoever how is the money valued. What is enough, what is too much and what is too little. She didn't think she was rich enough to go and to buy another dress (she already had her emerald robe and one or two items of makeup). So she thought she would have to dig into some unwanted corner of the shop or something.

"Would you like me to send someone with you to Diagon Alley?" Dumbledore didn't look surprised she asked for that place, nor was he interested in knowing how she found out about it.

"Yes please, Sir," Sinéad smiled, "but please, be it someone other than Severus or Remus."

"I understand there still are some tense feelings between them?"

"Yes there are, Sir. I decided it wise not to engage with either of them much. I thought they could be more wise now about their behaviour and acting, but it doesn't seem so." She sighed.

"Sinéad, I see you got closer with Harry Potter too," Dumbledore smiled encouragingly, "I believe there will be some moments when Harry Potter would need to talk to you about something. Therefore I entrust you would be as kind as you always are and you would help him with any problem he might have."

"Yes Sir, but why? Why does Harry Potter receive so much special attention from you? What is it that he has privileges that the others don't?"

"Sinéad, I have surely told you what has happened to our world. I am certain that when the time comes, the boy would be able to save us all."

"Sir, that is like saving your only ace till the end of the play," Sinéad objected to this opinion, "wouldn't it be easier to be kind to all of the students and to train them as if all of them were Harry Potter?"

"Plus," Dumbledore added, slightly losing his countenance, "he got his parents killed and had to grow up in a muggle family."

"I believe there are many more orphan students in this castle," Sinéad objected again, "and I'm sure many parents are treating their sons and daughters in such a way that they would surely wish they were parentless."

"Nonsense, nobody here wishes to have their parents killed," Dumbledore retorted and Sinéad suddenly felt unwelcome in his presence for the first time.

"I'll have your assistant arranged for you this weekend," the Headmaster said coldly and she turned around and left sadly. As she was turning the corner on her way, a pair of ice-cold eyes was watching her. Draco Malfoy watched the teacher with an apparent interest in his eyes. His theory about Miss Uí Bríain being unfit for teaching in a wizarding school was still valid; moreover, he misheard somewhere that she wasn't even a witch… And he's going to find out the truth!

"Everyone, please!" She yelled in hope the whole class would calm down and stop chatting. "Our very fruitful classes are coming to their end, and I would like to announce the way in which the exam will take place."

"Won't we be writing any tests?" Hermione yelled.

"No, there wouldn't be any tests, thank you for your question Miss Granger," Sinéad said grumpily, reacting to Hermione's crying out. "What will happen is simple. You will be coming into the class one at a time. I am going to ask you one question only, and you are going to answer it verbally. This makes fifty percent of your grade."

"Fifty percent for one question?! You can't test us like that!" Harry cried affectionately, shivering when thinking about how much studying he has to do for one stupid question. Giving up all this time to practice Quidditch only for a stupid Mythology exam!

"Enough!" Sinéad was getting in a fit. Those Gryffindors! They consider themselves to be the best house of all, heroes of the school let's say, so they think they can break all the rules on everyday basis. Sinéad had never seen such a cheekiness, not even from the Slytherin students. "Five points from Gryffindor for your constant interrupting." She cast a glance on Harry and Hermione. The boy gave her back an odd look, saying "Really? Are you going to take points from me? I'm Harry Potter."

She gave him back a responding scorning look, as if she were saying "I don't give a damn for any famous name." and continued:

"The other half is formed by an essay which you have time to submit until the end of January. The topic is "Wizards in Relation to the Other Human Communities": for those who might be sitting on their ears now, this would be your personal view of the relationship between wizards and non-wizards. You may use whichever material you gained during these lessons, however, I want your personal opinion, not a plagiarism of sources. While handing in your essay, you will receive a number. Don't forget it, it will be important. You will hand in your essays with that number instead of your name, and your results will be hanging on a notice board together with your number. I do already have the numbers, but I haven't assigned it to anybody yet. This is a simple step to prevent me from looking at the name which might or may not bring unnecessary sympathies while marking the essays. Class dismissed."

She didn't want to see anybody, much less any damn Gryffindor. Yet Hermione was clearing her way to Sinéad's desk.

"Excuse me, professor," she began with the annoying tone which unfortunately many English pupils had, "could you specify the area from which you will be asking the exam questions?"

For the first time, Sinéad grew pale with anger, as she had seen Severus to do so many times: "Nature. Excuse me, I am unwell."

And quickly ran out of the office.

"Well Granger, finally someone's got sick of your swottering. You did it, congratulations." Draco Malfoy laughed, peeping into the classroom on his way to the Potion class with Snape. The brown haired witch clenched her fists and turned away, questioning for the first time her unusual attitude to education and teachers.

"Stupid kids." She snarled and kicked her bedside table, "stupid school. Stupid haughty snobs. Stupid wizards." She felt inferior again. Nothing she knew was valuable outside her class. She had no clue about money. About any inventions, about technology. One of the most superior pieces of her own technical knowledge was how to light a fire by the use of wet sticks and pebbles. And those people could construct staircases that moved, pieces of wood that could cast spells, a ceiling which mirrors the actual sky outside. She sobbed. What is the value of my embroidery then if a wizard can have it done in seconds? What is the point of me poking around the Diagon Alley, when the wizards can conjure a dress out of nowhere and it doesn't cost them anything (at least Sinéad thought so). And, what is the worst, what is the point of being so high and superior, when murders and injustice still happen?

Suddenly, there was a slight knock on the door.

Sinéad growled: "Go away!"

After a slight hesitation, the steps went away, someone however slid a piece of parchment under her door. When she went to pick it up with a great curiousity, it said: "Tomorrow near the Great Hall. Come warmly dressed." Sinéad wondered whom would like to keep her company, when she suddenly remembered it has been a long time since she visited Sirius for the last time deep in the Forbidden Forrest

"You know… I've been here so long that I'm starting to be fed up with wizards." She moaned and leant over a tree. "Alas! You men are so possessive! Lupin clearly wants to spend as much time with me as possible, Severus the same, luckily I taught him not to accuse me of spending my time with someone other than him, but still… I don't feel free here Sirius. There's so much to explain and so much to hide."

"Tell me about it," Sirius was grunting while feverishly eating a chicken leg, "so pathetic, those wizards. We are two outcasts. Deal with it."

"It's not only us," Sinéad thought. It was after dusk and she had just brought some food to the poor man hiding in the forest. Her skin seemed paler than usual and her face tired and worn out again. She now bore this unhappy expression more than ever, with everything she was doing.

"Everyone's just concerned about themselves, themselves. The teachers teach their lesson, release the students and lock themselves up in their offices. Detention is the only way to teach you if you do something wrong. I'm strongly against them. I swore I won't be giving any detentions."

"Good girl," Sirius chuckled and grinned.

"Did you get many detentions when you were in Hogwarts, Sirius?" She asked.

"Like in which year?" He mumbled and Sinéad burst out laughing.

"I'm going to Diagon Alley tomorrow," Sinéad changed the topic and looked at him with a new sparkle in her eyes.

"Enjoy, woman. The place is bloody good, I wish I could have gone myself."

"Really? What is the best place?"

"Oh! There's so many! But you surely know for yourself," Sirius raised his eyebrows dramatically.

"I'm afraid I don't," she said sadly, "the truth is that I've been taking care of my sick mother– I mean after I decided to ditch my wand and to learn the knowledge of the other magic which is there– that I haven't gone to Diagon Alley for years."

"So did I," Sirius said in quite a reminding voice, "they don't arrange excursions there from Azkaban or something."

"Sorry," Sinéad now regretted asking even more, "I forgot."

She felt sorry, but she saw Sirius had tears in his eyes. He looked at her with a look so wet and full of gratitude that she almost couldn't take it: "I am so warmed up by you forgetting after such a short time we have known each other that I spent so many years in Azkaban… It really warms my heart. And it really shows your true colours my dear."

Sinéad was blushing and she moaned quietly: "I am abashed, Sirius."

"So, I better go," he stood up and wiped his mouth from the remains of the immense portion of food he had just eaten, "before our lovely Dementors get here. Even now I think I can feel them approaching."

"What would you like me to bring you from the Diagon Alley?" She asked him. He turned around and gently grabbed her hands for a moment.

"I want you to buy the most beautiful dress in the whole alley," he said softly, "for Lupin to go down to his knees when he meets you at the ball."

When Sinéad was walking down the giant staircase leading towards the Great Hall, she wondered a lot whom had Dumbledore asked to accompany her to go shopping. She didn't recognize it would be Severus' handwriting, and she didn't know anybody else's. This was neat, elegant and right-side orientated, so Sinéad thought a very skillful hand must have written it.

"Minerva!" She breathed out in surprise. The tall witch smiled and chuckled.

"Did you think I was too old for shopping?"

"No, I just didn't expect that," Sinéad admitted, but thought that it was obvious when she asked Dumbledore to omit Lupin and Severus. Whom else would she like to go shopping with her, Mr. Filch? She smirked.

"Ready to go?" Minerva asked, pretending she didn't see the young woman smirking.

"Yes, just one last question: Where do I get the money from?" Sinéad asked, a little bit worried, because she still had no idea how is she going to pay for it all.

"Don't worry, professor Dumbledore has created an account on your behalf."

"Excuse me… What is an account?"

"Oh dear child…" Minerva muttered to herself wryly when they were leaving the castle: they had to go to Hogsmeade to use Apparition – which was another thing Sinéad was unaware of and it must have be confessed to our dear reader that she didn't take it well at all. Minerva had to take the poor young woman for a butterbeer before she was able to walk on her two feet and swore that this is the most wicked thing wizards were capable of.

 _Dear Father,_

 _I am sending my humblest greetings to you and Mother. How is she? I haven't heard from her since the beginning of November. I am always happy to report to you the current state of things in Hogwarts, as usual. My arm is slightly better, although I still sometimes wake up in the middle of the night due to the intense throbbing in the wound. (I thank Mother for asking about my poor health in your last letter, since I know it was her.) The gawky stupid half-giant caused me all this trouble and you are absolutely right in your demands to banish him from the grounds and to execute the filthy dangerous hen._

 _However, my Dearest Father, I am writing to you in order to share with you my doubts concerning another of our professors, I personally find her unfit for teaching as well. Her name is (I am not sure if I can spell it right, she has such a barbarian name!) Shinaid Aibrian, a savagely-looking dangerous woman who creates her own rules which are absolutely at odds with the school norms. Moreover, what is the worst about her is the fact that she reputedly "ditched her wand" (as she herself told us at the first class) to study an "alternative" kind of magic. Isn't it absurd, Father?! How can a person without a wand teach in Hogwarts? Do you believe there really exists an alternative to our magic? That would mean that any redneck from the bushes could claim any jiggery-pokery of his as magic equal to us!_

 _Please tell me what you think, although I am convinced you always know best, Father._

 _Regards,_

 _Draco_

"This is just… magnificent!" Sinéad yelled, astonished, smiling, "there's everything! The owls, the spell books, the quills, the robes… I wonder why don't you go shopping more often."

"Well, for me it makes no good to go more often," Minerva smiled, "I have been wearing the same robe the past thirty years so I don't really think I would really need to go shopping. Shall we go first to the Gringotts?"

"To the bank." Minerva added and regretted for another time that day that she agreed on accompanying the young lady who, unfortunately and not by her own fault, was in ecstasy from this all.

"To Gringotts? I might go there as well, professor McGonagall," a shrill voice sounded behind them. When the both women turned, they saw a red-haired woman like Sinéad was, this one was in her fifties and looked as if she hadn't bought any clothes for herself for many, many years.

"Molly Weasley," she smiled at Sinéad radiantly and the younger Hogwarts teacher immediately started to like her.

"Professor Uí Bríain, I'm teaching at Hogwarts," Sinéad smiled in return and cordially shook hands with Molly.

"A terrible, terrible weather!" She shuddered and looked at Sinéad, "I am glad to see that there's another new subject at Hogwarts, I always tell my children to learn anything they can, they'll never know when it comes handy. I suppose you met my children at Hogwarts?"

"Oh, yes, I met Ron, and Fred, and George. Lovely children, a pity they wouldn't dedicate more to studying."

"Indeed, that's what I always tell them," Molly agreed and smiled kindly again. When they arrived into Gringotts together (Sinéad terrified by not having any wand to demonstrate to the goblins, and Minerva McGonagall having trouble explaining that professor Dumbledore gave special instructions concerning the young woman's vault and therefore, she is to be accepted with a key), Sinéad was astonished by the amount she saw in her vault – there was four thousand galleons at least! She suddenly felt a great pity for Molly who grabbed a tiny pile of gold, probably a ten galleon's worth of money, from the Weasley vault and seriously considered secretly transferring some amount of gold into the poor woman's vault. But she reminded herself she has to be reasonable: She has to save up for her family because she knew some money would always come handy to them. But now, she knew that her chances to buy nice Christmas presents rapidly increased. Minerva expressed loudly her wonder if she can leave Sinéad with Molly (to speak the truth, the elder witch was pretty annoyed by her younger colleague's ignorance), and asking her all of a sudden what she would need the most, Sinéad answered:

"A coat. But I don't think I'll buy some, I have to save money for my father and to buy Christmas presents for others."

And so Minerva, satisfied with such answer (she had earned so much during those many years at Hogwarts that money didn't really bother the elder witch's mind) dashed into the depths of the foggy and chilly Diagon Alley to buy her own presents, among which there surely would be a nice warm coat for Sinéad.

"My dear, no worries, I'll take you whenever you want," Molly smiled radiantly again, excited that she can assist to a shopping which wouldn't be made on her own expense.

"Thank you Molly, I would like to buy one of these owls to my younger sister, she had just started her school education so she might be able to at least read my letters now. . ." Molly casted her an odd look and Sinéad resumed her musing rather in her mind.

"I got it, an owl. What else?"

"I need some quills and parchments for my daily use, I've been using so many of professor Dumbledore…"

"Don't worry about it, dear. He always has too much."

"I think I also should buy something for my colleagues–"

"A book or an elixir perhaps?"

"No, well, you know, I'm really into knitting and handmaking–"

"That's awesome! Me too!" Molly cried and clapped her hands with joy. Sinéad really liked her.

"So I had better buy some wool and knit the presents by myself–"

"A brilliant idea."

"And there's a teacher's ball, so I'll be wanting some–"

"Dress? Oh lovely, Madame Malkin has it all."

"No, I really wanted to re-work my usual plain dress in which I am walking during my days off…"

"Nonsense. As an experienced clothes-remaker – I did all the clothes for my boys – you can't take something ordinary and make it something special. You better save that plain dress for forest-hiking or whatever, and buy a new one."

"But I don't want to buy a new one. That's wasting the dress. It's only for one night. Then I can remake my emerald robe which I'm wearing now. . ."

Molly gave her a cautious look from head to toe. Poor little thing, she thought. She was covered only by a wollen shawl and was certainly very cold. Loudly she said just: "Yeah, that will do." and therefore, instead of going to the renowned clothes-shop, they delved into the haberdasher's and half-an-hour later, they emerged with chiffons, needles, threads, pins and silk. However, Sinéad later realised that she wouldn't have anything to wear if she reworked her usual teacher dress, so she had to go to Madame Malkin's anyway. She was over the moon, having purchased herself a pair of loose trousers with a very large trouser legs, of a toad green colour and embroidered by natural patterns. She also bought a loose blouse in the similar style and a brown sweater. Molly was very satisfied with the results of their shopping and suggested going for a butterbeer, to which Sinéad nodded gladly and insisted on inviting the Weasley mother for a pint.


	10. A duelling threat

**10**

 **A Duelling Threat**

"If madam wouldn't mind, Dobby would like to ask her something."

"What?!" Sinéad yelled and sat swiftly in her bed. She suddenly heard strange voice right in front of her in the middle of the night so she sat up as quickly as she could. Now she was staring into the darkness, her head beginning its so commonly known aching toll due to this sudden disturb.

"Dobby said," repeated the– thing– which clicked its fingers to light a sparkle in the air (thanks to which Sinéad could finally see the creature) and was standing on her bed cover, "Dobby would like to ask madam something, if madam wouldn't mind."

"Ahhh…" She moaned. "Who are you?"

"Dobby the house elf, madam," the creature introduced itself with a polite bow, "but Dobby is a free elf. Dobby was freed by Mr. Harry Potter. Is madam wanting to hear the story how Mr. Harry Potter freed Dobby?"

"Eh, maybe later," she yawned, still squinting into the darkness, "what are you doing in my room at this hour? Why are you standing on my bed?"

"Dobby is very sorry, madam," the elf squealed and jumped off.

"Doesn't Dobby know that I am a teacher in Hogwarts?" She asked, immediately sorry how arrogantly and bossily this sounded. She was just terribly tired and this sudden visit didn't help her much.

"No! Dobby isn't knowing that!" He squeaked even in higher pitch than before and began to hit himself with Sinéad's bedside table lamp.

"That's fine!" She yelled, completely awake now, "that's just fine, you couldn't have. Just stop that and tell me what you wanted, so I could go back to sleep."

"Dobby wanted to know how he can give the money Dobby earned to Harry Potter, madam."

Sinéad felt as if she would be suddenly hit with a log: "And you wanted only that?!"

"Yes madam!"

"And it couldn't wait until morning?"

"No madam!"

"And how did you assume that I would know?" She yawned again.

"Dobby overheard a conversation of professor Dumbledore and the other professor and professor Dumbledore said something very important and serious about madam having a special vault in the bank, so Dobby thought madam is knowing how to handle money very well."

"Dobby, I had to have a special vault cause I'm not a wizard," Sinéad thought she would sprain her jaw joints by yawning so much. "Besides, Harry Potter will never take your money."

"That's true," the silhouette of the elf nodded and began to plot his plans elaborately and loudly, "Mr. Harry Potter is too noble and too generous to take Dobby's money."

"Why don't ye donate yer money to the school's orphanage fund'r somethin'?"

"That isn't concerning Harry Potter. Dobby wants Harry Potter to see what Dobby did."

"Well, Harry Potter is a good friend of a family," (Sinéad wanted to say something more expressive and rude, such as "Harry Potter should go to hell at last" but out of her natural love for all living creatures she didn't have the hearts to do so), "who are too humble to take anything from him. Ye could give yer money to them, and Harry Potter would be glad."

"Dobby knows how hard it is accepting something from the greatest Harry Potter. Dobby thinks he is liking the family. Dobby knows what he's going to do, Dobby will organise a procession of house-elves…"

Sinéad turned to her side and closed her eyes in a desperate attempt to sleep whilst the elf kept prattling. When he saw she no longer paid attention to him, he went away, talking to himself. She tried to fall back to sleep, but couldn't manage. With a groan, she got to her feet and went outside to give herself a walk.

 _"_ _You can't be serious!"_ Lily cried, most annoyed.

"Lily, please," Sinéad got her hands together in a pleading gesture. "You have to see him. I can feel his desperate soul crying every night. He needs to be reconciled with you at last."

 _"_ _However he's suffering, I've been too. He deserves the punishment for his ignorance."_

"Don't ye see he's had enough?!" Sinéad replied angrily, "don't ye see he's protecting yer son as hard as he can?"

Lily looked far less annoyed now.

"And for what?! For nothing. He does everything for nothing, because he even doesn't have a chance to see you. He has no hope, yet still he keeps on moving. Marvelously, if you want to know my opinion."

 _"_ _I might think it over."_ She ended up their conversation and they resumed talking about Sinéad's family.

After her third-year Gryffindor lesson, Sinéad asked Neville Longbottom to stay with her for a while in the class. When the last students left the room, she turned to him, sitting behind her desk, and gave him a warm encouraging smile.

"Neville, I would like you to come to my office this evening at seven."

"Why, Miss?" He asked guiltily. "Had I done something?"

"No, not at all," she smiled again, even warmer, "just some tea and cookies."

He continued looking at her questioningly.

"You can go now." She dismissed him and added for herself: "Someone must finally start helping these kids."

Lucius Malfoy tore into Dumbledore's office, half-dead with fear. When he saw Dumbledore's puzzled look as the Headmaster sat behind his majestic table made of rare woods.

"How dare you– How dare you appoint a good-for-nothing woman who does not even use her wand?"

"I believe my choice to be most fortunate, Mr. Malfoy," answered Dumbledore calmly. Since he saw Lucius almost to erupt with rage, he added: "I might as well call for other members of the staff, they will surely tell their own opinions which, I believe, won't be contrary to mine."

"I shall like to speak to the one because of whom I took the pains to make this journey."

Dumbledore sighed and stood up from his comfortable ornamental chair: "I assure you, Mr. Malfoy, as the Headmaster of this school, that I chose wisely and fully aware of that certain lady's abilities."

"I should doubt she has some," Mr. Malfoy smirked and folded his arms, "and I should consider myself… honoured if that certain lady would like to speak to me."

"Severus, would you be so kind as to bring Miss Uí Bríain here?"

Snape, who suddenly emerged from behind Dumbledore's extensive bookshelves, nodded in silent understanding and marched out from the office with all his dignity. When he was out of sight, he began running all across the castle trying hard to find Sinéad. He finally found her; she was after baking something in her tiny little kitchenette. Her face was purple from this effort and it was sparkling with sweat. Severus knocked in the name of emergency on her door. She opened it, her eyes popped out and her face froze astonished.

"Severus, what–"

"No fuss woman, pull yourself together," he burst in and grasped her shoulders. When she saw his serious face, she was starting to creep out.

"But Sev–"

"That little Malfoy snitch has shopped you. He want's to speak to you right now and he's red with anger."

"Whom for God's sake?!"

"Malfoy senior. Move yourself, do something with your… face, quick!"

"Severus, what shall I do?" Sinéad was frightened. She didn't know why was Draco's father so outraged and she didn't apprehend of how did his rage concern her. However, she did as Severus asked. She washed her face, she brushed her loose hair, she put on her fancy robe which she didn't yet have a chance to start remaking. She took special care to adjust her bosom part of the dress, for she had rather a pretty curvy chest and, after all, Lucius Malfoy was a man whose likings were, as Sinéad believed, the same as of all the men on the world. She hoped her appearance was good to be presented to such a wizard. She suddenly noticed that she became quite chubby, probably due to her dwelling in Hogwarts where there was plenty of food and a limited opportunity to exercise in the nature. Her robe which fitted her nicely with some free space to move five months ago was suddenly a little bit tight when covering her much curvier body.

When they ran through the corridors backwards, her robe and hair streaming behind her, she asked her friend what was it with Lucius.

"He wants to ruin you, have you expelled from the castle, humiliate you." Snape breathed out and turned around the corner. Sinéad followed him, a million of thoughts streaming in her head.

"Why, Severus? Why? What have I done to him?"

"You dared to take up the teaching post in Hogwarts, that's the problem."

"But why is it bugging him so much?"

He suddenly stopped, snatched her arm and looked her straight into the emerald sparkling eyes, seriously worried, and hissed: "Listen. The Malfoy family always aimed for having the wizarding world purified from all the muggle-born wizards–"

"But that would be half of the school–!"

"I know!" He roared. "Listen. He mustn't find out you aren't a wizard, for he would kill you. I will help you should you need, but be careful. Try to appease him somehow, I know how good you are with people."

Sinéad blushed. This was the first time Severus Snape actually complimented her on something.

"Thank you for your acknowledgement," she said only.

"Don't be silly." He snapped, but she could tell it pleased him as well.

"What can I do for you, dear sir?" Sinéad smiled when she met Lucius Malfoy in Dumbledore's office.

"I would prefer you stopped filling the minds of the students with your pointless nonsense and left the castle immediately, but I guess you won't do me this favour, will you?" He asked, grinding his teeth.

"I don't think I would feel very inclined to leaving the castle, sir," said she, seating herself opposite Lucius Malfoy, who was looking at her with apparent contempt.

"What is your blood status?"

"My parents are muggles," Sinéad admitted shyly.

"Show me some spell, muggle-born professor." He ordered.

"I don't happen to have my wand with me, sir." She said.

"Professor Snape would be so kind as to let you his," Malfoy said in a freezing voice, "wouldn't you Snape?"

"I don't think my wand would answer to her, Mr. Malfoy," Severus uttered coldly as usual, no traces at all of his previous protective attitude to Sinéad.

"We'll see. If she isn't a waste of space, she will be able to control your wand."

Snape's hand reluctantly dived into the depths of his long garb and presented Sinéad with his black neat wand. She took it into her hand, hoping she holds it well enough to hide the fact she had never held a wand before. Although being miles apart from being a witch, she could feel the wand vibrating with energy and she could probably distinguish a wand and a nice piece of wood.

"A tiny spell will do…" Lucius Malfoy smirked and folded his hands on his chest. He was sincerely assured that she had never been a witch. And he was going to eat her alive for her daring to set foot into Hogwarts.

In the meanwhile, Sinéad was panicking. Severus didn't have his wand now, and watched her as helplessly as she was watching her own left hand which was holding the wand (Sinéad was a left-hander). What will I do? She cried in her mind. What will I do? I can't cast any spell, even the simplest one like the levitation spell – wait a minute…

She called the Spirit of Wind, who was always so cheerful and would help her without longer queries. She made her hand stop trembling, she held out her wand and made the flicking movement she saw Harry Potter doing when they were practicing in the empty classroom.

"W-Wingardium Leviosa!"

To their great surprise, one of the books reluctantly made a circle in the air, flying speedily, placing itself onto Dumbledore's table again.

"I believe there's your spell, Mr. Malfoy," she smiled, casting her green eyes at him, all warmth gone from them. Now they were as cold as a stone and not welcoming him anymore.

"Well then," spat out Lucius Malfoy angrily, for his plan didn't succeed, "I guess I got what I asked for. But be prepared, Mudblood, I will duel you at the end of this year at last! I shall not tolerate weak teachers teaching my son!"

"Mr. Malfoy, I would presume Miss Uí Bríain was kind enough to demonstrate her undoubted magic skills, so therefore, there is no reason to be discontented, is there?" Snape attacked the pale-haired man with his sarcastic, belligerent voice and seized his wand, pointing with it threateningly at Malfoy whom casted Snape a spiteful look then turned and dashed out.

"Extraordinary… I could actually believe you were a witch…" Snape wondered aloud with his dark deep eyes fixed upon Sinéad, who was smiling kindly again and made a few steps towards him to thank him cordially.

"It was just an imitation of a spell I saw Harry Potter using once," she said plainly and Snape couldn't help but wonder how witty that was of someone who obviously couldn't do any better with a wand.

"However uncomfortable this incident was for you, Miss Uí Bríain, I must share my fears with you that it shall repeat several times before the wizarding world can acknowledge your presence." Dumbledore said calmly, but Sinéad was a little bit sorry it had to be Snape who defended her, not Dumbledore – or so she thought.

"What could be done to prevent it, Headmaster?" Said she, worried. The incident didn't leave any marks on her, but she felt… odd. As if she were an animal who has to prove the right for his existence on Earth. She didn't expect the wizards to loathe the others who weren't like them so much. She knew her people did that too, they didn't like the Pork-heads, but really, threatening somebody just because you think he's not good enough, that didn't sound right to her. However, and this was the most curious one of the things that happened, she didn't bear a grudge against Draco. She felt somehow sorry for him, that he didn't know any better than to report to his father. It was as if he needed to hide behind his father's back. She wondered if she could help him somehow. Dumbledore informed her that nothing better can be done than standing one's ground and dismissed Severus and her, she quickly caught up with him at the corridor and thanked him for his heroism – this word of thanks was appreciated only with reluctance. After a few moments of silence, he began with hesitation in his voice:

"There's a teacher's ball in four weeks time-"

"Yes I know." She peeped quietly and instantly regretted it, since it seemed she only scared away the bits of Severus' courage to deal with women.

"So I wondered, if you perhaps wanted to keep me company in there- I mean if you wanted to keep me company there, of course."

She felt horrible at the moment he finished his sentence. She really wanted to be his dancing partner, she really did, and now she regretted her previous agreement to go with Lupin. She felt Severus somehow deserved it more than Remus, because she was well aware of the omnipresent hatred for Severus felt by the whole school. Now she desperately wanted to show him that there was someone who cared for him very much. However, the only one act which could reinstall his hopes was already invalid for using. She didn't have any other option, she had to refuse him, and she knew it would shatter his heart to pieces, and deepen his grudge to the whole world for not giving him any sparkle of kindness nor love.

"Severus I am so, so sorry," she said with a devastated voice, "I would love to, I truly would. But I've already promised Remus that I'd go with him. . ."

"Of course, I mean it was obvious you wouldn't like to go with me," he said bitterly which tore Sinéad's kind heart to pieces, "I guess the werewolf is just better than me, how silly of me to ask. Good night."

"No, please, Severus!" She cried with tears in her eyes, "please, don't go, I would go with you if I could!"

But he was deaf to all her prayers and wouldn't believe her however right she should be.

Right at seven in the evening, Sinéad heard a light knock on her door.

"Come in!" She shouted and Neville's sheepish look peeped in.

"Oh, Neville, come, come!" She cried and rose up from her cosy sofa which was new to her room. Recently, she asked Dumbledore if there could be a little kitchenette because she loved cooking and baking and really missed it from home. He made her wish come true, accompanied by a table and four chairs, a sofa, an armchair and a coffee table, all corresponding to the naturally earthly atmosphere of the room. There was a medieval lamp lighting the room and a scent of baked cinnamon.

When he stepped in shyly, she placed her warm palm on his back and closed the door behind him carefully. She half-pushed him to the sofa and herself sat comfortably in the armchair.

"I baked a fresh tray of biscuits this afternoon." She said with satisfaction and supported her head with her hand, "which tea would you like? I am afraid I have only black and jasmine."

He stared at her, surprised, then shyly said: "Jasmine please. Did you know that jasmine tea is in fact green tea? Of course you did…" He stammered at the end.

"No, I didn't, Neville," she smiled warmly and rose to make the tea. In the meanwhile, he looked around nervously and said: "I-I like your divider, Miss."

"Excuse me?" Sinéad couldn't understand at first, but a few seconds later she got it. "Oh, you mean the- thing- that separates the rest of my chamber from the living area. I didn't know it was called a divider."

The divider was truly picturesque. It was not highly ornamental, but on the fine paper there were beautiful pictures, portraying the four seasons of the year with a very unique painting technique. The pictures were simply flawless.

"Which one do you like the most?" She said quietly.

"I don't know. I think it's spring. When everything blossoms and grows. I mean, I quite like plants. How about you, Miss?"

"I think it would be… No it's too difficult. But if I were to chose, it would be autumn. The colours are remarkable, and I love the transitivity of that time."

She brought him the tray with the biscuits, wearing cute oven mittens. "I warmed them up a little bit."

He hesitatingly picked one, sipping his tea.

"It's really good," he murmured, "I mean, delicious, Miss. Cinnamon and ginger…"

She smiled and sat down again.

"You look a little bit worried, Neville. What's going on?"

"Is this the reason why I'm here?" He said guiltily.

"No," she replied gently, "you're here to admire me pictures and eat me cookies."

"It's nothing, Miss, you really shouldn't bother with-"

"Neville, I can see through your head between your shoulders. What's happening?"

"Well, uhm… You know, with professor Lupin, we had to defeat a boggart. It turns into the thing you are most scared of. And all the Slytherins laugh at me for my boggart's appearance."

"What was it, Neville?"

"S'r Snei." He murmured nervously.

"Excuse me?"

"Professor Snape."

"Professor Snape," she repeated and smiled a little. "Why exactly?"

Neville's face got even redder than a second ago: "He hates me. He doesn't like all the Gryffindors, but he hates me. I think he humiliates me anytime he sees me. The last time it was in his Potions classroom, because I wasn't able to brew the potion."

Sinéad's face darkened and she delved into her thoughts. Was Severus really such a bully, to be biased against the Gryffindor students because of his own misfortunes with certain members of the house a decade ago? Was he able to pick on poor Neville just because his lack of thoughts?

She touched Neville's guilty face tenderly with her pearl-white long fingers and said softly: "I'm happy you told me, Neville. Have a tea, and some more cookies."

They spent the next half-an-hour very pleasantly, Neville prattling on about his new favourite subject, Herbology, and Sinéad listened with a great interest, nodding her head and smiling with her thick pear coloured lips. The boy was blushing more and more. When he looked at his now favourite teacher, how she sat in her wooden armchair, her emerald robe on, her white skin glittering in the light of the candles, her chubby bosom modestly covered by a black lining embroidered laces in the cleavage, her large strong square jaws, sparkling green eyes and red wavy hair falling on her shoulders and back, he got the impression he was watching a portrait of a Victorian queen.

"Just don't listen to them Neville," she whispered and touched softly his hand, "everyone has their hidden fears and sorrows, and who knows, their might be even more plain than yours. And you will be able to fight them sooner than you might think, all those people that make fun of you. I trust you have some friends in the Gryffindor house?"

"Yes I have ma'am. But how about Professor Snape?"

"Well that's not such a piece of cake. Some people have reasons we'll never understand. Me myself would be curious what is Professor Snape's reason, however, I don't know what I can do for you in this case. Professor Snape is. . . Well, he certainly is a unique man to deal with. You might have to put up with the fact that his attitude might never change. However, I will ask him since I am curious what is it that repels him about you."

She played her violin as vigorously as she could and stumped her feet on the wooden floor of her room late in the night.

Silly Snape! She roared. He's just like a silly sprog, unable to get over an old grudge. She'd seen his heart clearly the other day when he wasn't paying attention, and she saw clearly his feeling for Lily which still presided there after all those years. Playing and dancing was her own way to let go of the steam accumulated in her nerves. The worst thing of all, she thought, was the fact that in Hogwarts, there were many children bothered by their own secret fears and troubles. And the teachers are doing nothing to bring those poor lads relief.

"If ye spoke to him once, Lily!" Sinéad shrieked and kicked her drawer angrily. "He wouldn't be such a jerk now!"

Suddenly she heard a voice and frantically turned around, but saw no one. _"I will speak to him, if it matters to you so much."_

Sinéad sighed and began to work on her emerald robe. She started by drawing a sketch of her Christmas party robe, hoping it would be good. She also reminded herself she should start working at her Christmas presents.

"Someone surely have used the Confundus charm on Neville," Hermione hissed in the Gryffindor common room. It was eleven in the evening and Nevillle just stumbled inside, his cheeks pink and his look absent.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked, concerned.

"More than alright," Neville breathed out and fell into an empty armchair. "She's just brilliant."

"Neville has a girlfriend." Ginny grinned and the others burst out laughing.

"If you weren't here Ginny, we would think it was you." Ron giggled.

"Screw you Ronald." The red-haired girl spat out and made herself more comfortable on the sofa.

"I don't care what you're saying. I don't care what anybody's saying. She's amazing."

The rest of the time remaining the Christmas party was very busy for Sinéad. She fed Sirius from time to time, taught her classrooms, corrected homework, played her violin, delved into deep conversations with Lily and Remus, knitted her Christmas presents and distributed little leaflets offering the students an opportunity to talk and to help with their problems should they ever need to talk to someone. This was another of Sinéad's ways to make Hogwarts a better place. She was also progressing with the work on her party robe and was looking forward very much to the dance with Lupin. To be honest, she was quite nervous, for she was bound by the norms and customs of her tribe regarding love and partnership. She wasn't allowed to have any physical contact with a man before they would be married, and was in fact very much worried about the outcome of the Christmas Eve. She felt that if Lupin wanted to start a relationship with her, she would like it, at the same time she was already feeling guilty for her unwise behaviour. The point was that Sinéad, although trying to spread warmth and love whenever she went to, longed deep inside to be loved and cherished by a man inside the cold walls of the Hogwarts castle.


	11. Teacher's Christmas party

**11**

 **Teachers' Christmas Party**

The weeks remaining till Christmas were spent calmly by Sinéad. She was getting ready for the exam period, she was knitting presents for her friends and colleagues (there surely was a pair of fluffy colourful stockings for Dumbledore). She thought hard what to give to every single one of them and she finally decided on the following list: a pair of socks for Dumbledore and Severus, a herbal skin revitalising mask for Minerva and Molly Weasley (her tribe had a special recipe for many herbal products, produced by decoction and filtering, and Sinéad had a little dried herbs in stock from her previous life with the Celts), an owl for Méav (she wasn't sure yet how to deliver the giant package – could an owl deliver another owl locked in a cage?), a box of butterbeer for her folk, a silver necklace for Eiméar as well (she asked Dumbledore for it, since the first one for Méav was created by magic), and a magic razor for her father, promising at its cover it never needed sharpening and never caused a man's chin cuts or scratches. She thought hard about a present for Remus; firstly she thought she would knit something for him as well, however, Remus mentioned to her earlier that due to his physical condition he had seldom managed to find any employment, so Sinéad actually came up with an idea to order a new coat for him from Diagon Alley. Poor Remus, she thought, at least he will be warm for many winters on even if his current job would fail him. She also meant to share with Severus the last remains of her herbal stock, she worried a little should she need them desperately, what would she do? – but then her kind heart won the battle of thoughts again, reminding her of one of the main principles of her people – to share any possession or wealth one might have with others, for he never knows when he himself might be needful of such sharing.

She also spent three evenings a week practising with Harry, Ron and Hermione, with whom Harry immediately shared her secret. She promised them an extra points for the exam if they kept her secret from further spreading and helped her find the connection between her and magic. She was able to interrupt the spell casted, however, only if it affected herself only and only after a few moments of concentration. Although not so imminent, the threat of Lucius Malfoy still reverberated in her head and she was resolute to fight him and to prepare herself as best as she could for such a fight. She was also remaking her emerald dress, hours and hours of sewing and pinning in the light of a few candles in her chamber. She also hand-wrote several leaflets which she distributed all around Hogwarts, offering help and an opportunity to talk to her about any problem which the students might have. This was her response to Dumbledore's request to listen to any problems which Harry Potter should have, and it was her decision to extend this plea to all the students, for, as she already told Dumbledore, she thought every student should be treated with equal care and respect as Harry Potter was (although she couldn't talk about this much with Lily). The Spirit of the Moon begged Sinéad to give her son something for Christmas as well, so now she was recking her brains about what might the famous Harry Potter like to get. Surely, it couldn't be something he could buy. She decided to talk about it with Lupin whenever she had a chance to do so…

"Is Miss Advisor working late in the night?" She heard another voice, this one was real and coming from the doorway of her room. Remus Lupin was leaning over the doorframe.

She blushed and smiled: "Remus!"

"What's my Fairy Handie making for me?" He smirked and placing playfully a light kiss onto her cheek as he bounced in. Sinéad smiled, smirking at Lupin's joviality as he bent over her desk on which she had her Christmas party dress laid out.

"It's going to be a strapless short dress with a skirt which looks like a fluffy candyfloss. I think it will match your moustache perfectly." She joked, smiling, her cute dimples laughing from her cheeks.

"So I finally get to see your sexy legs!" He chuckled and placed his hand around her shoulders.

"Slow down, Remus," she laughed, somehow pleased by his enthusiasm and familiar attitude towards her. "I'm just your colleague, remember?"

"You are indeed," he confirmed, still smiling, "but let's say it's not Minerva's legs I want to see in a week's time."

"Get out, yer nasty man!" She cried, laughing, pushing him out of the room.

"Wait, I came to formally propose to you about the party!"

"Go on, you fool!" She laughed, tears in her eyes.

"Dear madam, lady of my dreams," Lupin knelt on one knee and stretched his hand towards her to accept it, "fair maiden of noble origin, whom I adore and exalt high above all others on the world–"

Sinéad hid her face in her palms, she was laughing so much she couldn't breathe and began hiccuping.

"–will you do me the honour of being your partner at the teacher's Christmas party in the education institute called Hogwarts?"

"I will, if I won't die from laughing so much tonight." She accepted his hand and made a princess-like bow.

"I shall pick you up half an hour after the dinner on the Christmas Eve." He murmured to her ear, "provided that I won't die of excitement, of course."

When she was laying in her bed that night, she blushed and thought about Remus. How happy she was with him! She completely forgot about Severus. How happy she would be if Remus wished– well, if he liked her as much as she liked him. How happy she would be to see him more, to have more of him in her heart. She firmly decided to enjoy herself as much as she could at the party with Remus and give way to her feelings as much as he would give way to his.

Finally, the big day was there. Sinéad was getting ready for her great evening and a great deal of attention must be paid to the description of her appearance, for it plays an important role later on in our story. Firstly, she put on her re-worked dress and she was highly pleased with the result of her effort. She stood in front of her wardrobe mirror and looked at herself. The dress was strapless as she planned, beginning with a golden lining where her breasts billowed. The corset fitted her body closely, being tightly laced up on her back (she actually asked one of the house-elves to be of her assistance). The upper part of the dress up to her hips was smooth and made of shiny fabric, the corset being probably cased with satin. However, the satin was further embroidered by her skillful hand, teeny-tiny golden flowers and leaves glittering in the light of the candles. She finally managed to push the skirt up, she was afraid she would not be successful for this was the first time she made such a difficult shape of a dress. It was just as she imagined, fluffy and gathered, forming a nice cloud of fabric around her thighs. It was a combination of velvet and chiffon. The shade of the upper bodice was matching the one of her skirt. She bought another thing that wasn't mentioned yet, a pair of silvered glittering high-heeled sandals which she now wore with an admirable confidence. She plaited her hair into a loose plait, falling down her left shoulder and put on a bit more makeup than usual, all in order to be admired by Remus Lupin.

"I do not approve of the rags you are wearing most of the time, but I have to say that you look great!" The mirror in which she was looking praised her.

"Yes, madam is looking very pretty!" Squeaked the house-elf which was helping her to tie the dress.

"Thank you, Bonnie," she smiled, "what can I give you for your help? What do the house-elves in Hogwarts get as a reward?"

"Oh, nothing, madam!" Bonnie yelled again, "Bonnie is happy just the way she is! Bonnie knows she is not to be demanding anything from–"

"Here, just have a cookie," Sinéad interrupted her, feeling ashamed of the value of the reward she was giving the elf, but she didn't know what else she could give her. She read somewhere that house-elves mustn't receive clothes by any means, and she knew from Dobby Dumbledore was paying them. She had no idea what else she could offer to Bonnie.

"Besides, Bonnie is happy because Bonnie could be helping madam to get ready and didn't have to wash the dirty dishes in the kitchen!"

"So, take as many cookies as you want, for your friends or something." Sinéad smiled, but Bonnie bowed deeply holding her only biscuit in her tiny hand and asked Sinéad if she could go. She released her gladly and began pacing nervously to and fro across the room, it was about time already and there was not a trace of any gentleman waiting for her, or going to fetch her. She nervously sat down, tapping her fingers and bumping her heels on the ground, anxiety got power over her now and she felt her stomach closing up. I could play my violin, she thought, but she was making so many false tunes she ceased even this activity and flung herself onto her bed. Quarter past seven, half past seven. The party already began, and Sinéad wasn't there. She rose up to her feet and ran across the room, flung her door apart and ran across the corridors to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, adjacent to Remus Lupin's personal chamber and office. She wanted to knock his door energetically, however, the way was blocked by a few writing desks which were turned over.

"What happened! Remus!" She cried desperately, but then noticed his heavily scratched door which surely looked much nicer when she last saw it. Then she realised there were actually letters carved at the wooden board of the door.

SOSORY WEWO

"So sorry. . . Wee-wo?" She read and couldn't make much sense of it.

"It means Lupin has turned into his werewolvish appearance last night," a cold voice reverberated through the classroom, "me myself has brought him his Wolfsbane potion…"

"It can't be…" Sinéad's eyes were filling with tears as she sat on one of the writing desks, "he was looking forward to it so much, I don't understand, I–" Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she buried her face into her hands, destroying the fabulous makeup Bonnie took so long to create.

"Just as one would gain his certainty… A solid ground under his feet… How shall I be ever happy again? How shall I ever rejoice with Lupin, thinking that he ruined this perfect evening? How could he forget about his monthly… days?! It's one of the demonstrations of your male carelessness and cold heart, isn't it? Why do I have to be a victim of your emotional violence all the time, tell me, why?!"

Suddenly, she felt two warm arms around her, and a chest with a beating heart which cuddled her weak and sorrow-stricken body.

"I know I am not him, and God forbid I shall ever be, but I'm still here for you if you'd like to go."

He knew that he wouldn't have said this to anyone else. He knew that he had promised himself not to interfere with her anymore during his lonely, sad nights. But he knew this was his chance like no other. Now, and only now, he can be there for her when Lupin cannot. And this was his victory. And she knew it. She knew the great amount of self-control he had to employ to be as nice as he was right now, considering he felt to be the second one after Lupin when he should have been the first from the very beginning. And she realised those many times he had helped her. With the Dementors, with Malfoy. Whenever she was in danger, it was Snape, not Lupin, who came to rescue her. She felt as if she now saw the true colours of everything.

"Severus, it will be an honour for me to be your partner tonight." She smiled and wiped her face, unfortunately she wiped away the last bits of her makeup with it.

He smirked, pulled away, and waved his wand. Suddenly, Sinéad's cosmetic knick-knacks appeared in the air and were applying a new evening look on her face, even better one than she had had before. When she was finished, he offered her his arm to her as any gentleman would, and proudly led her from the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

"Way-hay, and up she rises, way-hay and up she rises, way-hay and up she rises earlay in the moornin'!"

Everybody laughed. Minerva had just finished another glass of brandy and now she was singing, supported by Dumbledore's left arm.

"Daaance with me Albus!" She cried and hung herself around his neck. Dumbledore winked at Sinéad, taking his elder drunk colleague around her waist and circling with her across the dance floor. Sinéad giggled when she realised Dumbledore must have employed a great deal of physical strength to prevent the witch from falling.

"Please be so kind and tell me you are giggling just because you enjoy the helplessness of her situation and not because you actually think it's funny." Severus growled into Sinéad's ear.

"Oh Sev, just because I'm giggling it doesn't mean I would like to be in her position," she smiled and encouragingly patted his arm. They had enjoyed quite a bit of dancing (Severus being a very skillful dancer to her surprise) and were now enjoying a little refreshment at the side bar, where professor Flitwick was showing his skills as a barman, juggling with empty bottles in the air.

"You are encouraging me to think of you having a certain amount of sensibility, woman," he smirked and Sinéad smiled kindly again, for she noticed his own personal unique attempt to be funny, such effort was approved of by her side by another slight chuckle.

"Severus, we've done polka and waltz, let's do tango!" She cried enthusiastically and pulled his arm. He put his glass down and growled again. But in fact, he was glad to be dancing with her. She was lively and kind, he enjoyed the atmosphere in her presence and her naturally light air. I might call her fool, I might call you stupid, but I never really mean to hurt you, he thought and suddenly he had the impression again that she could read his thoughts. They danced smoothly and proficiently, as if they danced with each other from the beginning of time. Nothing could prevent him from taking her hand, from thrusting her at his arms length and swinging her arm from side to side as he pulled her towards him, from touching her waist, nothing could prevent her sliding her slender leg next to his, from placing her arm around his neck, from touching his chest where the heart of a lion was beating. They were finally fully reunited, and the energy of this encounter was filling up the room like a poisonous sweet gas.

"Hello sweetie, I'm not sure if you remember us from the beginning of the school year when we were welcoming you, we've not seen you for ages…"

"I know, Pomona and– Poppy?" Sinéad was leaning over a coffee table where she decided to take a break of her rather intimate dancing with Severus which filled her heart with enormous passion.

"That's right, that's right!" Poppy nodded enthusiastically, and both the two witches sat close to Sinéad at her table.

"We were just wondering dear," Pomona said in a muffled voice and she surely didn't want anyone to hear her, "hence we've seen you and Severus dancing so beautifully, do you dance together even in privacy, I mean are you–"

"No, we are not a pair, or a couple, or anything of that sort," Sinéad smiled and blushed.

"Well that's curious!" Poppy exclaimed, "you fit together so well! I've never seen Severus as calm as with you!"

"No, we're truly not." Sinéad confirmed again, a little bit more harshly.

"Well that's a pity then!" Pomona cried and chuckled, "you would be so lovely together! Nevermind, nevermind my dear, just remember we're your close friends, yes we are, and we shall know everything about you my dear, because close friends tell each other everything!"

"Indeed they do," Sinéad smiled again and smirked.

"Making friends with silly little hens, are we?" Severus' voice was grumbling to her ear as she got back to him again.

"That's mean Severus," she told him and it was perhaps her kind nature which made him soft again. Sinéad didn't know for sure.

"I'm just saying everybody in this castle would like to see my stone-cold heart move." He smirked wryly.

"Oh come on Severus, your heart is as stone-cold as mine is!" She smiled and touched his chest again, "look, it's warm and beating."

"You know how I mean it," he grumbled again, however, he let her hand on his chest because he felt good about it. She was the source of his inner fire – or was it Lily? He was confused again. Before he could do something stupid as to dash away from her again, there was a loud cracking noise and yelling of the other female professors. It turned out that Dumbledore was unable to hold Minerva in their clumsy drunk dance anymore and she fell down, right in the middle of a small round table carrying a pyramid of shiny clean glasses.

"Oh! H-Have I stumbled?" Minerva hiccuped and looked sadly at Dumbledore.

"No, not at all," he smiled and took her under her arm, "now I'm going with you to your room to put you into your bed."

"Oh Albus! You womanizer!" She giggled and Sinéad giggled too, imagining the situation. "At your age?" She pricked his silver beard with her index finder and giggled again. Dumbledore smirked, catching Sinéad's glance, and led the heavily drunk witch away.

"Is he– I mean, are they–" Sinéad searched for the right words, whilst Snape lazily waved his wand and the table with the glasses stood again as new.

"No," he answered quietly and slowly, "he never liked her."

"And how about her? Did she like him? Does she?"

"Who knows," he looked at her, no trace of any feelings in his face again, "Minerva was married once. She was highly devoted to her husband as I heard, but ten years later he died and she secluded herself to this school forever."

"But that doesn't mean that now–"

"As I told you," Snape raised his voice a little bit, "Dumbledore never liked anyone. And my words may be truer than you might think."

Sinéad looked silently at him, refusing to accept such truth.

"By the way," he got a little bit close to her again, "I have a Christmas present for you."

He pulled from his pocked a beautiful necklace with a green clover on it.

"It's a very rare thing," he said as he was putting it on her neck from behind, "it's white gold and the clover is made from nephrite."

"Severus!" She exclaimed, "I cannot have such an expensive–"

"Don't you like it?" He looked at her questioningly.

"I love it, but–"

"Then you must have it. No idle talk."

"Will you have a toast with me?"

"To what?" He grumbled.

"Christmas!" She smiled and handed him a glass.

"Christmas!" He smiled and their glasses clinked.

"I don't want you to get it in the wrong sense, but I forgot my present for you in my room, perhaps we could go there together to fetch it."

He was quite surprised when Sinéad presented him with knitted woolen socks. Before he could say anything else, she added: "And you have a date."

"A date?! Who's the happy lady, you?" He smirked and winked, smiling.

"No, you fool, it's Lily."

After a moment of hesitation with an expressionless face, he asked: "What Lily?"

"Lily Potter."

His face got pale, his eyes were popped out. He was sweating. He began stuttering: "How you– How could I– How do you know?"

She smiled: "I just know."

"Ho-How can I have a date with Lily, it's impossible!" He began to be pissed off because he thought Sinéad was joking.

She got closer to him and quietly said, for Severus was yelling loudly so that the whole first-floor corridor where her room was could hear him: "She's in the Spirit World, I can bring her to you…"

"I don't believe you!" He breathed out, started smiling widely and grasped both of her hands.

"I can, I'm talking with her all the time." Sinéad smiled again and allowed Severus to hug her tightly, his right hand around her waist and his left one frantically running through her hair. He pressed her to him as tightly as he could. She could feel his tears on her bare shoulder.

"Thank you… Thank you…!"

"Don't thank me yet," Sinéad groaned in Severus' tight embrace, "it's not done."

He let her go. He looked into her eyes. He still couldn't believe it. He still couldn't believe his years of regret and remorse would be over. He was looking at her as he never did before. Suddenly, he grasped her again and harshly pressed his lips on hers. A cry of surprise which escaped her lips was muffled by his mouth. After a few seconds he let her go again, looked at her with immense warmth and gratitude in his otherwise cold eyes and whispered: "Good night."

"Good night." Said she, blushing, entered her chamber and closed the door behind her.

"She's a fine woman." Smiled Severus half an hour later when he was sitting comfortably at the fireside, "very fine. Nice and charming and clever. And beautiful. And nice. Have I already said it?"

"Yep, you've said it." His bathroom mirror shouted.

"It doesn't matter." Severus smiled and buried himself deeper into his cosy stuffed armchair, looked into the fire and moved his toes lazing about in his new furry violet-striped socks.

Harry received two mysterious presents this year. The first one was the Thunderbolt broomstick which McGonagall immediately confiscated; and a little porcelain doll in a red dress which smiled and said something nice and encouraging when he touched her, such as: "Everything will be fine at the end. And if it's not fine, it's not the end." Ron stared at him jealously and suddenly exclaimed loudly to the ceiling of the Gryffindor common room: "I want to receive something from a mysterious benefactor as well, please!"

"Ron!" Ginny cried, running into the common room, "Mum wrote that somebody has sent us five hundred galleons!"

"No way!" He cried, "does she know who it was?"

"No." Ginny said.

Ron startled, running into the boys' bedroom to check out on his presents from his mother if there would be a letter confirming the receipt of this family fortune too. He stopped right before placing his foot onto a first stair, looked at the ceiling again and shouted: "Thank you!"

Harry and Hermione laughed.

When Sinéad woke up and tried to remember the shattered pieces from last night, she realised she had a small pile of presents next to her in her bed. She smiled, sat on her bed and began tearing the wrapping paper – a light pink highly ornamented frock from Minerva. Sinéad was glad and pressed the frock to her chest with gratitude.

"Thank you Minerva." She whispered.

Next, there was a nice woman swimsuit from Dumbledore. It was light blue with short sleeves and shorts.

"Thank you Albus." She whispered again, cuddling her present.

Next, there was dagger with adorned shaft from Sirius. She again thanked for her present in similar way.

Next, there were new dried herbs and a deer fat to polish her violin, both from her family. It must have arrived by owl post, since she already despatched Meav her owl and the other presents to her people. Next, there was some fondant from Molly and the last, smallest present was from Remus. When she opened it, there was a nice hair clip with a long needle to fix the hair. She liked it so much. She liked all her presents. She remembered the necklace from Severus and touched her neck if it was still there. It was the most expensive gift she ever got from someone. He really shouldn't have given me this, she thought.

She got ready to go to the Great Hall for breakfast and sat next to Severus as she usually did. Only now it seemed strange to her that she hadn't noticed how important it was for her to be sitting next to him. He nodded to her in acknowledgement of her presence, and helped himself to a toast with butter and pumpkin jam. He always had a toast with butter and pumpkin jam.

"I do really appreciate the necklace you gave me." She said.

"You are welcome." He said, his voice and face intact. She thought that maybe he doesn't want to be more emotional for the students didn't notice the change between him and her.

"How about tonight? Do you want to come?" She asked him with a smile.

He casted her a look: "Well, I am aware of what has been done has been done. But that doesn't really mean I have to go to kiss you every night."

"No silly," she responded with a sigh, "I meant our Spirit World adventure."

His eyes glittered. "When, tonight?"

"Yes, tonight."

She truly is wiser than I thought, thought Severus, smirking and sipping his orange juice.

"Hey look," Harry said, looking at the teachers' table, watching Sinéad and Snape fully engaged with each other, "how can she talk to him every time I look at her and smile?"

"She's just too kind Harry." Hermione said pragmatically.

"I know, but still… No one can be so kind. There must be something else about it."

"I've told you she's so kind," Neville mused with a silly smile, "she's the best."

"I still can't believe it." Severus' eyes glittered with excitement as he walked beside her in the darkness.

"You had better not expected much," she sighed, "I have a bad feeling that something's not going to go well."

They stopped at the edge of the Forbidden Forest and Sinéad stood still, eyes closed. She took off her shoes and made a few steps with her bare feet from the shadows to the moonlight. She called. She called the Spirit of Wisdom to be with her to give her a good judgement. She called for the Spirit of Good Luck to protect Snape from harm as he was about to enter the Spirit World. She had never taken any unexperienced person with her.

"You need to open up your mind, Severus," she said half absently and gestured with her hand to come closer and so he did.

"You must feel connected with the place you are at," Sinéad said, "you must feel the wind, sense the ground under your feet, hear the water, hear the birds and other creatures. You must fully connect with the sensuality of the nature, only then you can enter the Spirit World and be able to join the ghosts and spirits."

Snape tried as hard as he could, but so far he couldn't grasp anything else than the occasional blow of wind here and there and the tranquility of the night's schoolyards.

"Try harder, Severus," she said kindly, "try to imagine yourself dissolving into the nature and the nature dissolving into you… Try to imagine yourself as a part of the nature to which you belong…"

Snape really tried. He gave his soul to the grass and wind around him, he was desperate to see Lily. Suddenly, his eyes widened because he saw a transparent silhouette of a woman descending from the sky and reaching her arm towards him in a silent gesture.

"Lily!" He shouted, not looking right or left who might possibly overhear him. His mind ceased to be focused and the spirit disappeared.

"No!" He cried out. "Lily, Lily!"

"Calm down, Severus!" Sinéad said softly. "You have to calm down, and focus again."

However, he wasn't able to focus anymore, for it was very hard for him to do so. He was devastated not to be able to see Lily anymore, and Sinéad had to promise him to give him private lessons on how to meet the ghosts. She was worried he wouldn't manage to learn it, for it was designed for the students who had done the winter semester to start meeting the ghosts in summer semester, beginning, as Severus did, only by being able to see them. What Severus wanted was to talk with Lily for hours, and Sinéad feared it either won't be possible at all, or will cost her a lot of her own energy, because she would have to be the one who maintains the connection.

"Was it really because I wasn't ready?" Severus asked with his muffled silk voice over and over again, "wasn't it that she didn't want to talk to me?"

"Of course she did, Sev," Sinéad smiled and placed her palm tenderly on his forearm, and he didn't try to get rid of it.

"I will do anything," he looked at her with a very serious expression on his face, "I will do anything you want, anything you tell me. Just reunite me with Lily and make me able to talk to her a bit. I will give you anything for that."

"There's no need to give me anything, Sev," she looked at him and her warm-caramel-like voice embraced him and overwhelmed him.

"I will be eternally grateful to you if you help me," he said with broken voice, "there would be nothing you could have."

"I know how much this means to you, Severus," she said softly and opened her door of her room for they were now indoors and she was about to go to her chamber, "but I don't like all those empty words."

"They aren't empty," he whispered, bent to her (for he was slightly taller than she was) gently touched her cheek with his long fingers and tenderly kissed her pink lips. She closed her eyes and let herself be kissed. He straightened up, and smiled a little. She looked at him nervously and asked him to go inside her chamber, for she had something important to talk about.

"Severus, I want to talk to you." She said nervously. "I need to talk to you."

He sat at her table and watched her with his cold black eyes, again bearing that expressionless face she saw him usually have in public. She didn't know what she could think about him now, and that made her even more nervous.

"Severus, I need to ask… What is it? What is it we are?"

"How do you mean?" He said and Sinéad again didn't know what to think of it.

"You've kissed me for the second time already in two days. What does it mean? Who am I to you then? Am I your colleague who provides you a little fun, am I your- your friend who allows you to do too much? Or am I your- date, or how you call it?" She was now too disconcerted, trembling with anxiety to get out what has been bothering her for those past hours. "I am not really being used to being anybody's whore, Severus. I might get used to be your girlfriend if I see the future certainty that you will marry me. In other worlds," she was now firing off her concerns all at once, regardless of what Severus might think. She would have plenty of time to regret it later. "In other words, do you plan to start a serious relationship with me? A relationship that will lead somewhere and will surely end in marriage? You must pardon me for being so direct and frank, but you have to understand that in my community, you should marry someone even before you kiss her for the first time. I am really trying to be as open-minded and liberal as I can Severus, but you see, I don't want to go from a guy to guy like their toy they can fool around a little with and then throw it away. I would feel- used, Severus. I have a certain dignity, my status of a respectable young maiden it is, and I am going to give up this status only once to only one man. That is my condition, Severus. I might scare you too much now, have I?" She said bitterly, for she knew she already demanded too much. He was looking at her with no expression in his face.

"I see." He said. He said just this and nothing more.

"Please Severus," she looked at him desperately, "I am really trying my best. It's been a big change in the tradition mindset which I inherited from my community, you see. What am I doing now my mother would never ever have done. You must listen to me. You must understand."

"I must?" He raised his eyebrows. "Well, actually I do. A little. I think both of us are now too scared to enter a relationship." He said wryly, just like he always used to say things.

"What I like the most about you is your straightforwardness." She said shyly, but he pretended he didn't listen.

"What I wouldn't like to do the most is to steal your dignity." He said sarcastically, with a slight smirk. "You indeed cannot expect me to start a relationship with you and to be already resolute to marry you when I am not even sure if I want to start a relationship at all, not speaking of the fact it would be with you. I haven't yet gotten used to your… differentness."

"I see." She said now, trying hard to hold hot tears which tried to burst out from her eyes. "I see! Then I must ask you not to kiss me again!" She didn't manage. She broke down to her armchair into tears and buried her face into her hands. She didn't wish Severus to be in her room anymore. She wanted to be alone and to cry her eyes out.

He silently rose to his feet and she thought he would leave without a word. But he went to her and gently removed her hands from her face. He looked her straight into her wet eyes.

"What I need is a little bit more time… to think. I must settle things with Lily first. I'm not saying we won't be together."

"You cannot date a spirit, Severus, so I don't really see what's there to settle." That was a little bit mean and she saw the gleam of anger in his eyes.

"How about us to wait?" He suggested and she knew that he had to employ al his self-control in order not to be mean to her, as he normally would be to anybody else.

"I am going to ask you straightforwardly, Severus." She said calmly now. "Do you like me or not?"

"I don' t know." He said and it was absolutely true.

"So why were you kissing me then? For fun?" She said, a little bit down but it wasn't her true nature to blame anyone too much.

"I don't know." He said again.

"So I better stop allowing you to play with me like this then." She said resolutely and rose from her chair. "Let me know if you make up your mind about wanting to be with me or not."

"But… You will help me with Lily, won't you?" He said and she couldn't help but notice a slight tone of begging in his voice.

"Yes I will." She sighed, slightly getting worked up now. "I must ask you to leave. I'm too tired now."

He rose to his feet again for he had been kneeling in front of her and with one last expressionless look, he left in silence.

Sinéad threw herself onto her bed and curled up like a cat that wants to hide from everything. She didn't cry anymore. What she was thinking about was whether or not she should have said all these things and if Severus makes up his mind, for she was really afraid of losing him.


	12. Snape's spirit procedures

**12**

 **Snape's Spirit Procedures**

Severus went back to his chamber after speaking with Sinéad, his mind absent. He wasn't surprised, actually he expected her to think like that because of the values she inherited from her community which was, as Severus thought, quite primitive and retrogressive. After all he had seen, he didn't believe Sinéad nor her community to have any kind of extraordinary powers, apart from invoking the spirits. He still thought her something between an eccentric charlatan and home-taught spiritualist. And regarding to his position at the edge of both societies, the good one and the dark one, he knew he must choose his acquaintances wisely. He thought the same he always did, that he had done as best as he could. He always did.

Suddenly, he realised there was someone walking in front of him. He prepared his wand.

"Potter!" He spat out, hatred coming quickly as it always did when he was dealing with the little brat of James Potter's.

"What are you doing, wandering the corridors at night?"

"I'm sleepwalking." Said Harry, prepared to come out with any lie he could for Snape.

"Extraordinarily like your father you are, Potter, he too was exceedingly arrogant!" Growled Snape, whom was now outraged by the stupidity of the lie Harry came up with. "Strutting about the castle!"

"My father didn't strut, and nor do I! And if you don't mind I would appreciate it it you could lower your wand." Harry was now getting cross because of Snape's hint on his father.

"Turn out your pockets!" Snape exclaimed, "turn– out– your pockets!"

Harry took out reluctantly a piece of parchment and after a quick examination, Snape saw almost red. The damned parchment insulted him, not only speaking of the fact that the names were somehow familiar to him.

"Professor!" Now there was Lupin, to whom Snape bore another grudge to the ones that he already had, that he blew Sinéad out and although, as Snape was convinced, he knew that his change days had been approaching, he still hadn't told her and left her in tears. What Severus hated the most were crying women.

"Well well, Lupin," he spat out with a new wave of hatred, "out for a little walk… in the moonlight, are we?" That's for leaving Sinéad there alone, he thought.

"Harry? Are you alright?" Lupin seemed concerned.

"That remains to be seen!" Snape spat out and snatched Harry's parchment. However, Lupin took hold of it and managed to lead Harry away without letting Snape to hand him a detention. Sullen Snape went straight away to his chamber, avoiding to meet any further people on whom he would have to waste his bad temper. He also secretly wondered if his nose was really as large as the bloody parchment said.

"Hello, Severus!" Sinéad greeted him with a smile the next morning he came to breakfast. Last night, she wearily decided to let it be, either Severus would make up his mind or she will end up secretly loving him for some time, she knew she weren't the one who is to sort this out anyway. She just decided to be herself as usual and not to let Snape know any trace of discomfort in her behaviour. He was rather grumpy this morning, looking more angry than usual. She thought something must have happened.

"Is everything alright, Severus?"

He didn't know why he was asking her. He wouldn't ask anybody else, so why her? "What do you… think… about my nose? Isn't it… too big, perhaps?"

"Blimey, Severus!" She laughed, "I wouldn't expect you to ever have any lack of self-confidence! Of course it's not!" she said cheerfully, "what's the matter?"

"I caught Potter out in the corridors last night," said Snape grumpily, "and he had a piece of parchment with him which whilst I attempted to read it insulted me by saying my nose is too large."

"Oh come on Severus," she laughed, "why come an authority like you frets about a piece of parchment? Of course anybody would feel offended." She looked at him encouragingly, "I thought you didn't worry about what other people think about you."

"I usually don't, but- don't tell me you wouldn't be offended if I told you-"

"Told me what?" Sinéad asked, helping herself to a muffin, still smiling.

"That you were fat," Severus said, "for example."

"I would think," Sinéad said as if she were explaining something grave, "that you were an idiot, since I can lose weight if I want, but an idiot will remain an idiot till the end of time."

"Or that you can do nothing more than talking with ghosts."

"I have to admit that I would have to control myself a little bit more about that," Sinéad admitted, "but afterwards I would tell myself that I don't have to explain myself to anyone who hasn't seen a bit of me and knows literally nothing about me."

"Do you think I know nothing of you then?" Severus asked.

"Do you think you know nothing of me?" She asked him back. How cunning of you, Severus thought, you little-

"Morning, professors!" Smiled Lupin who came to the table as swiftly as if he had spend the past few days on a holiday.

"Can I speak to you later?" He whispered to Sinéad and she nodded.

"I think it is of no use telling you that I am terribly sorry that I left you standing out there at the Christmas Eve." Lupin was very sad.

"I have to admit, I would curse you for that Remus," she said gravely, "luckily, Severus was at hand and he treated me truly gently throughout the whole evening."

"I see. So he was with you, huh?" He said with a sigh, more sad than angry.

"Yes, he was," she said, considering whether or not she should spill the beans, but immediately decided others would tell him how close she was with Severus anyway, "we danced and had a couple of glasses of alcohol together."

"Seems like a great fun." He said, his voice full of resignation.

"And… he kissed me." She said shyly.

"He- what?" Lupin was puzzled, "wait, so are you- is he-"

"I don't know, Remus!" She squeaked and covered her face with her hands. They were in an empty classroom adjacent to the Great Hall. "He doesn't want me!"

"No way." He smiled and hugged her cordially. "No way someone wouldn't like to love you."

"What do I do!" She wailed and hugged Lupin back.

"You have to act like nothing happened." Said Lupin, looking her straight into her green eyes, "you have to show him what he'll gonna miss if he doesn't figure himself out."

"You are such a good friend, dear," she said, resting her head comfortably on his chest.

"Yes, I am. The best friend of all you would probably have." Remus said and was slowly putting up with the fact that he is supposed to be friendzoned for the rest of his life.

"How about your Student Advisorship?" He said with a slight smile.

"It's stopped now for the majority of the students is at home." She reminded him.

"I think I would have someone for your gentle hands, if you wouldn't mind me sending her to you."

"Not at all!"

"It's wonderful we have you here, after all," Lupin mused, "you can't even imagine how desperately you were needed here in Hogwarts."

Two weeks after, right before the exam, Snape heard a sudden knock on his door. An unexpected visit. When he opened the door, there was Sinéad smiling widely, holding a little glass bottle in her hand. She pushed him in and slammed the door. When he started to get angry, she silenced him by saying: "Blimey, Severus, I came to help you with your reunion with Lily."

Apparently, he got calmer and let her skitter around his chamber.

"Take down your shirt." She said indifferently and began to fill a small basin with hot water.

"Excuse me?!" He said and it was hard to believe for him what was actually happening.

"Don't act like a kid, Severus!" She folded her arms and stood against him with no fear, "this is the way how we initiate small children into our magic. Take down you shirt and lie down on your bed, face down."

"Will you tell me what are you doing or not?!"

"Severus," she said, looked him directly into his black eyes and grasped his shoulders. She was approximately of the same height as himself. "Do you trust me?"

He was silent for a while, thinking. Then he said slowly: "I do."

"Then do what I'm saying."

He did so and laid on the bed, burying his head into the pillow. He hoped to survive whatever that wicked woman had in store for him.

"Exhale. Believe me, nothing bad will happen to you, I'll just try to have you a little bit more relaxed, because I can see you are placing a barrier between yourself and the world around you."

He closed his eyes and tried to take it easier as she said.

"Exhale…" She said with her soft warm voice, "and inhale. Nothing is bothering you… You are completely free from what was weighing you down… Nothing matters in this moment…"

He was sinking deeper and deeper into the bed. He suddenly felt something very warm, wet and soft on his back. He turned around his head in surprise and saw her gently washing his back with a towel soaked with hot water, her movements were circular and slow. It was a strange feeling, however, not an unpleasant one, he guessed. When she caught her look, smiled shyly and said:

"It's okay, it's just water. Lay down and relax."

She continued washing his back and Severus couldn't believe how nice it was. Sometimes she pressed harder, sometimes lighter. He was becoming as relaxed as a rag doll. Sinéad smiled and watched Severus with utmost satisfaction in her eyes. She was sure that after a few rounds of her procedure, he would be able to connect with her better. Mentally, of course. She put the towel away, uncapped her bottle and let her content pour into her palm. A few drops fell on his back.

"What's that?" He murmured, not anxiously, but calmly and lazily.

"It's sticky back and lemon balm oil," she said, smiling, "we make them by ourselves."

"You don't mean sticky back literally, do you?" He growled, but then chuckled, "kidding. Of course I know them, I have a few in stock myself. They are great with anxiety and tiredness. I'll take you with me next time I go visit my Potions cabinet, if you like."

"Sure thing, I could tell you where to find the rarest pieces," she smirked and laughed. A warm feeling overflowed her heart. She felt great that she was with him, so great she could never express it in any manner. But she was sure he knew it. And she was sure he was feeling great too. She began massaging his back slowly, making sure the heady oil rubs well in his skin. She could feel his muscles contracting, as she was mechanically forcing them to relax and relieve any tension.

"Tell me if it hurts." She said quietly and kept on.

"How could you ever hurt me." He murmured and sighed as he was getting more and more relaxed. She giggled and continued, and after a few minutes she noticed he was breathing heavily and regularly, he fell asleep. She giggled again, quickly and quietly collected her flasks and swiftly left his chamber.

"What do you do if you see a baby animal on the ground, laying, crying?" Sinéad was comfortably seated in an armchair in the middle of the Mythology classroom, her legs were crossed in a lady-like style and she was majestically supporting her head with her right hand. All the tables and chairs were gone, in the corner there were Dumbledore, Minerva and Severus, all sitting in silence. The first participant to enter the exam was Draco Malfoy.

"What are they doing here?" His eyes narrowed.

"They are supervising my exam and want to see the results after my half-a-year work with you. Could you continue, please?" She asked him.

He seemed a little bit out of his usual level-headedness: "I guess I leave it there?"

"You are the one answering the question Mr. Malfoy, not me." She said strictly.

"I let it be." He corrected himself to sound more sure.

"But it can be wounded?" She questioned him with her eyebrows slightly rised.

She made him hesitate: "But. . . If I touch it, its mother will never want it again! No, I leave it there, you confused me on purpose!"

"Well done, Mr. Malfoy, that's one A for you." She smiled and made a note into her grading book, probably somewhere next to Draco Malfoy's name. "I confused you because any good friend of yours is likely to shake your conviction when the situation is tense. Next!"

Next there was Hermione, passing Malfoy at the doorway who smirked at her.

"How can you predict it will rain in the next 36 hours, Miss Granger?"

"By Cirrus and Altocumulus clouds, Miss."

"Could you bend out of the window and tell me what is the weather forecast for this day or tomorrow?" Sinéad said calmly, still majestically seated in her armchair like on a throne.

"The clouds are hanging low and it is quite dark," Hermione said, "there will be a thunderstorm soon."

"Brilliant, one A plus for you. Next!"

There was Ron, looking quite nervous.

"How can you know the male animals from the female animals and what is the main reason to protect female animals, Mr. Weasley?" She asked him kindly.

He swallowed and looked even more ill than usual. "I don't know."

"Surely you do. Have you ever seen a drake?"

"Yea, I have."

"So how does he look?"

"He's… Colourful, and bloody cheeky. He once stole a sandwich from Fred."

Snape smirked in the corner and thought that were it his exam, Ron would be already gone for good. She was too meek.

"Y-Yes," she made the well-known so-so face so many teachers have when they mean to tell you "well, not bad enough, but I didn't mean it like that".

"I got it, females are much more shy and many of them are like, camouflaged, for they could easily hide. And I have to protect them for they could protect their offsprings."

"Well, well, how you got underway," she smiled with satisfaction and Ronald breathed out with relief, "that's C plus for you."

"C plus?" Ron was surprised, "but I knew it!"

"But you wanted to give it up as I recall, Mr. Weasley," she said dryly, "and shouldn't it be for my help, you would receive an F. Next!"

Ron was still murmuring with insatisfaction and passed Harry. Sinéad gave him a longer look than anybody else.

"Mr. Potter… Tell me all you found out about snakes at my classes."

"Snakes?"

"Yes, snakes." Said she. "What are their typical features, what they usually do and such like."

She spotted by the corner of her eye that Dumbledore was celebrating silently in the corner.

"They are raptiles."

"Very good, what does that imply?"

"They lay eggs and are uncapable of thermoregulation."

"In other words?" She raised her eyebrows.

"They can warm themselves only when exposed to heat. Most of them are carnivorous, about half of them are venomous."

"How can you tell that a snake is venomous?"

"It might have a rectangular head and warning colours, however, there are non-venomous snakes that are trying to look like venomous types, so I should always treat it like a venomous type if I am not certain."

"Very good." She said again and made a note to her book. "How about their skin?"

"Their skin doesn't consist of single scales, but is being disposed of as a whole."

"Well done. How frequently do they eat?"

"It varies, but a fed snake can last days, weeks and sometimes months without hunting for food again."

"Just one last question Harry, I am sorry for that," she smiled and glimpsed at Dumbledore again, "where would you hide when you would have to hide from a snake?"

"I don't know," Harry said, "I'll climb a tree?"

"Snakes have their body composed of muscles, Harry," she reminded calmly, "it can lift itself up to climb for you."

"Or I'll swim?"

"Most snakes can swim, Harry."

"I really don't know."

"You'll run away as quick as you can. The only one thing that could help you escape a snake that is unusually outraged is your quickness. Use a broomstick if possible, they can't fly." She smiled, "but in the nature, with- ehm- normal snakes, they will be mostly scared anyway. Normal snakes do not attempt to kill you, Harry. Remember this."

"I will." He nodded.

"That's a nice A plus, what do you think?" She smiled and looked at him. His smile widened and he started beaming with joy. He passed at the doorway with Crabbe and him later with Goyle, who got the lowest score Sinéad gave at the exam. Then there was Pansy Parkinson, Seamus Finnegan (whose knowledge of rural folklore creatures was outstanding and he was the third one to receive an A plus that day), Dean Thomas, and the last. . .

"Welcome, Mr. Longbottom." Sinéad smiled, a little bit tired, she wasn't used to be examining so much. "Are you ready for your question?"

He hovered, swallowed and looked as if he were to cry in any moment.

"Yes, miss."

"What is the most important rule one has to bear in mind, always?"

"Well, you… You should… You should… always remember to treat all the animate and inanimate objects with utmost respect and in a way you would want to be treated yourself."

"Great, that's all I want to hear. You've got a nice little A. Exam dismissed!" She cried and Neville smiled, when leaving the classroom in hurry.

"Brilliant, Professor!" Cried Dumbledore and rushed to shake her hand cordially. "I must admit, only now I can see the results, and they are stunning! I never hoped that we would be so close, that we would have such advantage. . ."

"Well done, Professor!" Smiled Minerva, "what I valued the most was your omnipresent authority, which gave the students the sense of what's right, but wasn't stressing them in any way. You seem as just and strategic as I am, and with your- ehm- lack of experience, if you pardon me, dear, you were a naturally exemplary teacher!"

"Yes, Minerva, but still, together with her sense of what's right, there is the so called air, or personal spirit she had, which immediately made the students feel that everything is possible in this classroom, except dirty tricks, disrespect and levity. Bravo!" Cried Dumbledore again.

She was much pleased with the praise and looked at Severus what he had to say.

"I have to agree with the Headmaster for… Neither I… Could ever think that your classes would be beneficial, frankly, I considered them as a waste of time, but now I see… That was very clever, teaching Potter about snakes since he has a very. . . unusual bound with them. It would be beneficial to him in the future to know how to escape it. Very clever… of you. As to the other students, however, I think you have too much sympathy and, forgive me, too much favour for them. To some of them especially. You have to admit for yourself, Miss Uí Bríain, that the ratio of the extent of the questions you gave to Granger and Potter was very unfair to the one of the questions for Longbottom and Weasley. If I were at your place, those two would simply… fail."

"Thank you for your observations." She smiled cordially, "to the one of you, Professor Snape, I totally agree with you."

He raised his eyebrows in a slightly questioning look.

"There are some people in the society," she continued as they were walking through the corridors, not even realising it was only herself and Severus now, "who are naturally made to lead. And it is always a pure fact that the biggest questions and hardest decisions would be put onto their shoulders. So I must prepare some of them to answer hardest questions than others."

"And how does our honourable Mythology teacher decide whom would have the immense favour of having to answer harder questions?" He had a dig at her wryly.

"You forgot I can see their hearts, dear Severus." She said plainly. "And even Mr. Malfoy will never lead. I can see that."

"What is in my heart, then?" He said suddenly, stopping and measuring her with his cold eyes. Her loose ginger wavy hair, porcelain skin, pink thick lips, emerald green eyes, her olive green tunic with natural embroidery, her many necklaces made of wood and strings on her neck, her wide linen trousers which fitted to the tunic nicely, her slender hands, and the necklace of white gold sparkling on her neck he gave her. Now she seemed unbelievable to him again. He didn't know why, or why unbelievable precisely. Why that word. He somehow couldn't get anything in her presence.

"I can't see it. You won't let me…" She whispered and put her palm onto his chest where his warm heart was beating. It suddenly started to beat faster and he could feel he was sweating.

"Sinéad, I…" He murmured and looked into her green eyes. The eyes that had captured him in the past, at the age of nine, and still continued to absorb him. He felt he could drown in them. He gently took her hand into his and still looking into her eyes, he entangled his fingers together with hers and continued in his musing.

I could- I could open my heart to her. I could let her drown in my heart and I would drown in hers… I feel I am already being pulled down… I can't let her go, there's something which forces me to feel a constant urge to be with her, anytime, during the daytime and in the night, I can't give her up, in any case… I feel I must confess all my secrets to her, otherwise I'll suffocate in my own cloud of ashes!

"Professor Snape!" They quickly tore away from each other, as if they were doing something improper. Snape's killing glance was directed to a first year student, who suddenly felt ashamed of calling the man from his intimate discussion with a third year ginger Professor he, the first year boy, had never seen before.

"I just thought you could help me with the homework… you gave us… " The child said and Snape looked as if he wanted to eat the boy alive.

"I'll come to visit you in the evening, I have to tell you something…" Snape hissed with a corner of his mouth to Sinéad, who slapped his arm good-naturedly, smiling, and saying: "C'mon, no worries!" When she turned a corner, she giggled. She had never seen his dark eyes to be so soft.

"That was the best evening I could ever have," Severus said when she opened her door to him and gave her a deep look with his black eyes, which now seemed to Sinéad like two wells of black coffee.

"Play for me, please." She took her violin and played a few of her favourite songs, in the meanwhile she was asking herself why is this the first thing he asked when he came to visit her in the evening as he promised.

"I was just feeling a little bit nostalgic," he explained, "I was reminiscing about how I met you in the forest when you went to visit your family two months ago."

"Is it really two months?" She was surprised.

"Indeed it is." He nodded and then added, hesitatingly, "do you miss them?"

"I don't know, actually. I don't think about that much when everything goes well. But they'll always have a special place in my heart."

"Do…" He hesitated before continuing, "do I have a special place in your heart too?"

"Of course you do," she smiled and touched his cheek, "you've got the best spot there, Sev. Right in the dungeons, as you like it."

"That's right, that's perfect," he nodded, smiling a little, "I like your space management. I always need to be in the dungeons."

"Why?" She asked, smiling.

"Because- well- But I think I might as well tell you- The truth is that I am afraid of heights. Besides, I hate hot weather. And I hate people. No one ever goes to dungeons, because they know they would meet me. The dislike is mutual."

She burst out a little, trying hard not to laugh: "You are afraid of heights? You, the Jack of all trades?"

"Yes," he said wryly, "that's why I never played Quidditch."

"That makes sense," she nodded, "were you jealous of whom played it?"

When she saw the expression of his face, she smiled widely: "Yes you were!"

"I can't say I was jealous," said Snape calmly, "I can say I was feeling an unfortable desire to be equal to them."

"Jealous!"

"Are you trying to annoy me?" He growled, but then smiled. She knew he was already fond of her. And he knew it too. He then talked about his mother, Eileen and how much did she really mean to him. She talked about her tribe life in the mountains, about their fruitpicking strategies, about swimming in a lake in the moonlight, about the overwhelming sense of belonging somewhere and about the mutually shared conviction to accept anyone regardless of his belief, past or appearance. Despite being very rough on the first sight, he was caring and sensitive. She just had to read in between the lines, because the things he didn't say were more important than those he did say, and things he had done out of the public eyes were more important than the things all the people thought he did. At first she herself thought he was just wry old man capable of hatred and grumpy faces only, however, the more he opened up to her she saw he was exactly the opposite. Which indeed attracted her curiosity even more. She was deeply in love with him. She wanted to tell him how much she valued him for everything he had done so far for the wizarding world, but she worried whether that wouldn't provoke his irritable temper.

"Severus…" She whispered and looked at him softly, "I know that I am the person you would value the least to be saying this, but still… I admire you, I higly admire you for what you are, and what you've done, and what lies upon you. I felt I must tell you, even though there are others who are to thank you more properly than I, Harry Potter for example, or Dumbledore. I don't think people value you enough in this school."

"You must have some distorted ideas about me," he murmured, but she could see he was pleased to hear such a compliment.

"Isn't there some other way how to improve my… connectivity with Lily?" He asked, probably due to his desire of changing the subject.

"Yes, actually I wanted to propose to you this idea tonight," Sinéad said, "swimming helps significantly to improve sensitivity, and I would like you to try some."

"No way," he growled.

"Why not?"

"Swimming makes me uncomfortable."

"You could have said it openly that you can't swim."

"Well, maybe I can't!" He spat out, "but-"

She raised her hand in to silence him and he casted her an odd look.

"We're not fighting, Severus." She said firmly, "and if you want to see Lily I highly recommend you to go swimming with me." He changed his mind after a week or so, so they could eventually go. She felt a little bit shy in front of a man when she was dressed in her green swimming costume, but him in his swimming trunks didn't feel any better. She wanted him to give himself up to be carried by the water, but he wasn't able to. She sighed and for that moment being started teaching him how to swim. After half an hour of arguing, she managed to persuade him to trust her and to lay on her arms on the surface of the water and start stroking and kicking. He splashed water all around. She shut her eyes and turned her head away, inclined to move away from the reach of his splashes. However, she kept holding him for he threatened to curse her should she lose her grip. At one moment he lost his balance and sank under the water, seizing Sinéad's shoulders and pulling her down as well. The next few seconds were filled with a frenzied fight for air under the surface. He tried to reach for liberty and she tried to liberate herself from his hands which held her deep down in the teacher's swimming pool they were at. After those moments which seemed like eternity to those who are near drowning themselves Sinéad was quite stirred and asked Severus for a break from their struggle. After making sure she will eventually make him reach Lily, he bade her good night. She was so worn out that she laid herself onto the edge of the pool and was asleep sooner than she would think.

She woke up to a warm stream of air on her cheek. She opened her eyes and saw face to face with a giant black dog, breathing his smelly air onto her face. She shrieked and instantly fell into an ice-cold water; she fell asleep at the pool and the water had long ago lost its warmth when she was swimming there with Severus.

"What the f– hell are you doing here?!" She yelled when she got onto the surface, her clothes soaked up as she was floating in the pool.

The dog changed into a man, crouching near the high edge of the pool, afraid of being seen: "I had to find you, you must help me."

"With what?!"

"I was nearly caught for the second time as I was trying to catch Pettigrew," hissed Sirius, "I am really being unsuccessful and I can't figure out what to do next. You must help me, you must seize Pettigrew for me and bring him to me."

His face was ecstatic, his eyes popped out. He looked like a madman and at one moment giggled as if he were mad completely.

"No Sirius," she said as she was scrambling from the pool, her soaked clothes weighing her down. "I can't help you. I can't interfere. It's your revenge, not mine."

"Are you indifferent to what happened to Lily and James?! Would you wish the same thing to happen to Harry too?!" He shouted.

"Of course not, Sirius-"

"Then no is not an answer!" He cried and laughed with that maniac expression again.

"YOU- LISTEN- TO ME!" She thundered, "once I am a teacher in Hogwarts I can't aid those who are technically against the law and represent a potential threat to any creature here-" threateningly approaching Sirius and poking his chest sharply with her thin index finger, "because from one killing there's a lot of blood-" (poke) "and terror-" (poke) "and fear and danger. Revenge is a double-edged sword, Sirius, it will turn against you too, and against those who are with you. Nature doesn't know any revenge. She knows only forgiveness, subdueing and forgiveness."

"Do you suggest that I forgave that little rat for what he did?!" He yelled at her madly.

"No, I do suggest you won't get me involved in your revenge. It's not mine revenge, Sirius, and neither it is yours. If anyone can decide what is right, it's Harry Potter. Meet him, and tell him. Only him can determine the fate of this matter."

"Will you bring him to me then?"

"I can't, Sirius." She looked at him sharply again, "Harry Potter is being protected here as best as he can be. Remember, no one knows you are innocent, it's just me. I would immediately become a traitor, and a villain. Besides," she added when she saw Sirius was up to making his point of the argument, "haven't I just told you bringing the boy into the matter would immediately bring pain, and blood? Haven't I?! This is another reason why I can't be involved, Sirius. I'm sorry. You better get out of here before they catch you." She said, determined to end the discussion and left the pool area.

She made but a few steps and instantly realised she was all soaked with water. Damn it, she thought, I have no more clothes to wear and it's nearly dawn. I need to go and borrow some. She was strolling the castle from corridor to corridor and was attempting in vain to find Minerva's office, she thought the elder witch was the only one to help her. Suddenly, she encountered a bizzare figure of a woman, roaming through the castle with her wand and looking as if she were completely lost and puzzled. Although being lost herself, Sinéad came for help.

"No, no my dear, it's just my Divination skills calling me at this hour, they are the strongest now, I can see… Why are you all wet?"

"I fell into a pool."

"Just as I could see! And you wanted to ask me something?"

"Yes, I did," Sinéad smiled, "would you please have some spare clothes to lend me?"

"Of course I have them, because I saw you would ask!" She was over the moon and kindly invited her to her tower for a cup of tea and some warm clothes. Sinéad liked her. Sybil was quite batty and wacky, but she was very kind and Sinéad liked her originality and differentness. She must ask Severus what he thought about Sybil, she thought. Sybil shared anything she had with Sinéad who was extremely delighted. She liked the eccentric Divination teacher more and more. In fact, Sinéad found out that Sibyl was quite a sad woman in her private life. She fell in love with a Ministry worker, but, unfortunately, had one of her real visions about him cheating on her – and it was true! Her family disliked her for she was a rather unsuccessful prophet (except for those rare real visions she had no supernatural gift), and 'normal' people disliked her for her weirdness and eccentricity. How come I haven't noticed Sibyl before? Asked Sinéad herself and shivered when she thought about all the sad creatures she could have helped if she wasn't so blind and self-centered. She made a promise to herself to help others even more than she had done until that time. Sibyl was a little bit shy in fact, and really clumsy, and mighty touchy. She lent Sinéad a large tweed skirt, a plain shirt and a loose colourful cardigan. With her own pagan knick-knacks and curly hair, Sinéad looked like Sybil's twin. But she didn't fret about that at all. Sinéad didn't care if she was viewed as as a person connected to the outcast and the weird. She enjoyed helping them.

"Sybil? What do you think of Severus Snape?" Sinéad asked. The thick-glasses Divination professor shivered.

"Do not even mention his name, dear! He's a traitor, a wicked terrible man! No one is responsible for the death of Harry Potter's parents than him!"

"How? He lo… I mean, he surely liked both his parents, they were his classmates, so why-"

"Twelve years ago," Sibyl began with a great seriousness and grasped both Sinéad's shoulders enthusiastically, "I uttered one of my best prophecies, this one concerning the unfortunate boy and his parents. Snape was the one who heard me and ran to report all he heard to You-Know-Who!"

"No way!" Cried Sinéad and thought about the intense feeling Severus had for Lily.

"It's true!" Sibyl swore, "and if you ask me, I believe he still remained his faithful servant!"

"No way…" Sinéad breathed out and looked sadly out of the window into the February fog and chilliness. Severus… Her dear friend, with whom she had most of her happy memories… She was lost in him now, and didn't know what to believe. She decided to ask him later when it would be appropriate.


	13. Final encounter with Lily

**13**

 **Final Encounter with Lily**

 _Ó fill ó fill a rún ó_

 _Fill a rún ó_

 _is ná h'imigh uaim_

 _Ó fill orm a chuisle 's a stó-ir_

 _agus chifidh tú 'n glór má– fhillean tú_

Harry was peeping from behind a stone doorway and watched his Mythology teacher. It was around midnight (yes, he was strolling in the castle with Marauders Map again) and couldn't help noticing her standing in the Great Hall. He had goosebumps and all the hairs of his entire body were standing on end. He didn't like what she was doing there. She was kneeling on the floor, her back towards him and fists clenched. Sometimes she was rocking to and fro. But what was worse, what was the worst thing of all was her strange song. It was a long melodic howl, a long musical weep, a keen. She shrieked, she wailed, she clutched her fists into her loose hair and was pulling it, half aware of what she was doing. At least Harry thought so. I better fetch someone, he thought. He ran through the empty corridors, when suddenly…

"POTTER!"

It was Snape, pointing at Harry with his lighted wand and smirking spitefully.

"Sir," breathed out the boy, "Miss Uí Bríain, she is…"

Harry was pale. The malevolent smirk vanished from Snape's face like the steam over a boiling water.

"Where is she?!" Spat out Snape, grasping Harry's shoulders in a sudden wave of panic.

"This way, Professor!" He said and began running across the castle, Snape following hot on his heels.

 _A Pheadair, a Aspail,_

 _An bhfaca tú mo ghrá geal?_

 _Óchón agus óchón-ó!_

 _Chonaic mé ar ball é,_

 _Gá chéasadh ag an ngarda._

 _Óchón agus óchón-ó!_

It was a beautiful wail, and a scary song. Harry and Snape stood as if frozen and watched. She was wailing like a wild fairy. They felt they would've followed her anywhere her song would take them. They came closer. Her head was bent back, tears streaming down her cheeks and she had her hands on her bosom. Her hair was messy. She looked as if she were in a deep ecstasy. Suddenly, a horrid shriek filled the Great Hall. It was the worst shriek Harry had ever heard. It even didn't seem human. It was the worst sound on earth. He had a feeling that something terrifying was imminent to take place. The magic ceiling began to revolt and threw a malicious thunderbolt. Snape pointed his wand towards the sky and forced it to stop raging. Harry looked at him, curious. The professor's face was pale and Harry could swear that Snape was as scared as he himself was.

"Well," muttered Snape slowly, "you can go to your house."

Harry lingered a while longer, expecting the professor to give him some points for bringing him to his colleague who was obviously not alright.

"Your reward be the fact that I won't give you detention for being out of bed past the curfew!" Snape shouted to Harry's back as the boy went slowly away. Harry smirked that Snape could not see it.

Sinéad was laying on the ground now, gently sobbing. Her raging, as well as the thunderbolt's, had come to an end.

"Come now, come to me." He said to her as he knelt beside her and took both her wet hands into his. "You can't be here like that, you can't be like this, you'll bring the whole castle here," he whispered, "come, Sin…" He tried to lift her, and failed. She clung to him, hugging him tightly with her trembling arms.

"He's dead!" She whispered and buried her face into Severus' black jacket (or was it a jumper?). "He's dead!" She squeled.

"Come on– Sin– you can't snuggle up against me like this– in public, you see?" He breathed out in his very physical attempt to lift her up.

"Now, I will take you away, OK?" He said, putting his arm over her back to lead hear away more easily.

"Don't leave me, Severus… I need to be with you… We haven't seen each other so long…" It was the end of April.

"Come." He covered her with his giant cloak and surprisingly, did not object to her hugging him, leaning to him and burying her face into his shoulder as they went from the Great Hall. This type of intimacy did not do any harm to him. They were true friends, their friendship was as deep as the deepest ocean. However, Harry had a different opinion, as he was running into his dormitory to share this great news with his friends. (He spied at the two professors indeed.) When he turned the corner, he bumped into Dumbledore. Or, rather, Dumbledore grasped his shoulder. The boy spinned, unprepared to meet him there.

"Professor Dumbledore!" He said in surprise.

"Don't do it Harry." Dumbledore looked at him with a sad face, almost pleading. "If you do it, you'll ruin the lives of two innocent people. Do they deserve it?"

"Do they– I mean, are they–"

"It is not our concern what relationship is there between Professor Snape and Professor Uí Bríain. I suppose they know it best for themselves."

Harry took a breath and tried to argue with the Headmaster, but stopped himself. He looked at the old man and it seemed to him that he saw a tiny sparkle of envy in Dumbledore's eyes.

"Alright, Sir." Harry said, "can I tell Ron and Hermione, at least? Provided that they won't tell anybody else?"

"You couldn't just keep for yourself what you saw, could you?" The Headmaster sighed, but knew that even if Harry promised him now not to, he would do so anyway. So he released him into the darkness.

He carried the woman in his arms to his bed. He laid her down and covered her gently with his bedcover. She curled up and was still whining and sobbing. He reached to his inner pocket in his pocket, kneeling at his own bedside. He pulled out a tiny bottle with a pink liquid in it. He touched his friends' hair gently.

"Drink it. It will make you better."

She looked at it with hesitation. He gently tilted her head back and poured the potion into her mouth. She swallowed and smiled.

"Thank you, Sev. What would I do without you?"

He thought about their mutual quest for reaching his beloved Lily and smiled: "What would I do without you?"

"Stay with me, Severus."

"I'll stay with you forever."

"My father is dead."

"How do you know?"

"The sorrw inside me knows."

She woke up next morning. Although she had already slept in Severus' place due to her exhaustion during those many nights they both tried to reach the Spirit world, it seemed like new to her now. His cold dark ebony furniture. The gloomy hostile atmosphere of his place. Although she was fairly sure it was already daylight outside, the room was still nearly dark, ílluminated only by a couple of candles. Severus was nowhere to be found. Only now she realised that her clothes were changed. She had a nice nightgown she had never seen before, her usual clothes were waiting for her on the fauteuil, folded, clean and fresh. His slender figure appeared at the doorway.

"Thank you for your hospitality." She said.

"My pleasure." Said he indifferently.

"I fancy your manners. They are very polite." She said.

"I treat everyone the way he deserves to be treated." He said.

"Wise decision." She said and stood up, her red hair falling on her back. Even her bed look was nice.

"That nightdress suits you very much." He said, leaving the room so that she could put her usual clothes back on. That was it. There wasn't something more to discuss. They were ready to part and to go teaching. And nobody would know. Nobody knew what was precious in between those two. Only Sinéad knew the pain Severus carried in his heart. And only Severus knew the true value of Sinéad's magic, at least some of it, for he didn't know much of it yet. And he knew from previous evening there was something strange about the woman, something she was herself unaware of.

"Are you kidding me?!" Ron yelled, "Snape and Sinéad?"

"I saw them." Harry said.

"That's ridiculous!" Hermione said, "how could a pretty woman like Sinéad be dating someone so… Snapeish?"

"I saw them!" Harry exclaimed.

"Wait, what exactly were they doing?" Ron asked.

"I saw her crying, so I brought Snape. He really whitened when I told him about her. She latched onto him like a leach and he let her. I think he was taking her with him. And he even didn't give me a detention–"

"Snape not giving you a detention when he could've? Now that must be serious!"

"And did she look… happy?" Hermione asked.

"Not really. I think she was in a fit or something."

"Do you think she suffers from hysteria?" Ron breathed out.

"That would be scoring his own goal for Snape!" Harry burst out.

"We'll watch Miss Uí Briain to find out more." Ron suggested.

"No! Ronald!" Hermione yelled, but Harry couldn't help not to notice a sparkle of curiosity in her eyes.

"We will then." Harry concluded.

"Have you forgotten about your humble friend?" Remus spread out his arms in a philantropic gesture and winked at Sinéad. She smiled and gently touched his arm.

"Of course I haven't forgotten, Remus." She said softly.

"Can I therefore invite you for a cup of tea in my office?" He smiled.

"Of course you can." She winked and smiled.

Ron was certain about it when he was returning with Harry's invisibility cloak to the Gryffindor common room. She was definitely cheating on Snape with Lupin. Later, when Hermione was spyíng, she saw Sinéad running, dancing and spinning joyfully barefoot in the grass. She also saw her doing strange movements with her hands, she heard her talking to the air, she saw her embracing the trees and exposing her face to the sunlight as if drunk. So the Gryffindor girl was returning to the common room with very mixed feelings of their professor.

"You know, I very often feel like my presence only bothers the others." Lupin muttered and poured his friend a cup of tea. Sinéad began feeling uncomfortable again. Lupin was truly a poor creature. He was too soft, too weak. He couldn't absolutely face his curse yet, even after all those years. That was the main difference between Lupin and Snape. Lupin came for comfort, pouring all his troubles onto you, with Snape, you had to dig for them deep inside his soul. Sinéad doubted now which option is better. She used to think what Lupin was doing was good, that he wasn't left with his ghosts alone, yet now she felt exhausted by his never-ending lament. She was scared of herself taking the opposite view. She now valued Severus' attitude more and more. She now believed that there were some secrets that were meant to be completely hidden from anybody else's ears. She had a suspicion that some things Snape had done weren't good, yet he appreciated him for whom he was now, and feared that the full discovery of those dark deeds would draw her away from him. He was remarkable. Difficult to say whether good or bad, but remarkable.

"…and then, my family had to move again from our third house we were living at…"

A family. She wondered whether Severus had some members of his family alive yet? Sinéad knew all about Remus' people, he had told her about them so many times she even felt she had known them herself. How might Severus' mother look like? She knew he had been very fond of her. She wondered whether his mother had the same hooked nose like him? Or black eyes? She would love to see her picture.

"…and you know, at school, no one wanted to be friends with me, probably due to what I was…"

She wondered whether Severus ever had any friends? Were they good or bad? Probably bad, according to what she had heard. But still, she couldn't imagine with no kind of friends at all. She couldn't imagine him going for a butterbeer to the Three Broomstick and have fun with some lads.

"…actually, there was a girl, a blonde pretty Hufflepuff, I was deeply in love with her…"

Had Severus ever been in love with someone? Lily? Sinéad had long ago gotten suspicious about his intense vigour to talk to her and to see her again, she couldn't believe it was for the pure aim of mending their broken friendship. Maybe Severus wanted to tell her? She imagined the kind Spirit of the Moon she hadn't seen ages now, and mused about the happy life they could have had together, if only James hadn't happened. Sinéad had it in for James, she herself didn't know why. He just seemed very antipathic to her. It was as if a spell had broken inside her or something. Snape suddenly appeared in her mind, smirking.

"I am happy that you finally found your loyalties." He said slyly.

"Severus, I–"

"You don't have to conceal it," he grasped her waist harshly and pressed her body to his, "you think me better than anyone else, even than Lupin…"

She struggled with his grip: "Let… go!"

He stepped a few steps aside, then turned to her and uttered: "I've seen you naked."

"WHAT?!" She cried, red like a tomato.

"What what?" Lupin looked puzzled, "I'm telling you how deeply affected I was when I learned about James' death. What's so shocking?"

She was quickly adjusting to the reality: "I'm not saying anything. It's good. It's good to be affected. What was next?"

"I want to know what were you whatting about." Lupin insisted. She started to sweat, trying to come up with a reliable cover.

"I was just surprised you didn't take little Harry under your roof."

"That would be absurd, Sinéad, can you hear yourself?" Lupin was nettled. "I was telling you how dangerous it would be!"

"Alright, I forgot." She said, wishing to be entirely anywhere else than here. She rushed to Snape's office as soon as she could get away from Lupin.

"You wouldn't believe the terrible vision I had." She breathed out when she barged there like a hurricane.

"Vision?" Snape said vaguely, writing something on a piece of parchment with his neat, stylish handwriting.

"It was about you and me," she continued, "you were behaving weirdly."

"What exactly was I doing?" Snape asked with a bored tone in his voice, still writing.

"Some… things." She said, turned red and bit her lip. "Nevermind." She was at the doorway again, prepared to leave. She turned around for one last question:

"Had you… seen me naked?"

"No." He said plainly, still writing.

"What a terrible illusion then!" She breathed out with relief and left.

"Yes. Illusion…" He smirked. Their minds were totally connected now, as they became friends. He had no longer a difficulty to read her mind like an open book. To read it, control it, and hinge it, as he liked to say. It was a great fun, wasn't it? He could destroy all the nice moments she was having with Lupin to make sure he doesn't want to see her anymore. And that was it.

"So we'll go through what we have so far," Harry said. "Ron?"

"She rushes from Snape to Lupin all the time, there wouldn't be any other cabinets she would visit." Ron said.

"Well. Hermione?"

"She behaves really weird. She dances in the grass, hugs trees, talks to herself, I think she must be mentally unbalanced." Said Hermione.

"Mentally unbalanced?" Ron squealed, "she's a psycho capable of lying and cheating!"

"Maybe she helped Sirius Black to penetrate the castle," Harry said, a strange light in his eyes, "just think about it! Maybe," he said, a new horrible idea in his mind, "maybe she's Sirius Black in disguise and Dumbledore doesn't have a clue about it!"

"Harry, this is absurd!" Hermione said, her voice trembling.

"Just think about it! Just when she comes to Hogwarts, there's this mass murderer attempting for my life, and you know, if she- if Black is truly on Voldemort's side, wouldn't he try to get from me all the knowledge he could? Just remember as she was asking me about snakes all the time at the middle-term exam!"

"Harry, no." Hermione said, less certain.

"And remember what she told me?! That she doesn't have a wand because she is not a wizard? Rubbish! She's Sirius Black, they confiscated his wand when he was sent to Azkaban! It all makes sense!"

"How about Snape and Lupin?" Ron protested, "why would Black be dating them? That's so disgusting!"

"Maybe they don't know," Harry said in a frenzy, "maybe they think she's really whom she is. Or maybe they do know and are attempting for my life all together!"

"Harry, not Lupin, certainly not!" Hermione yelled.

"Ok, so maybe not Lupin," Harry remembered the bond he had with his defense against the dark arts teacher, "maybe Snape knows and maybe the two of them are fooling poor Lupin."

"How about her playing outside? That doesn't sound like a bloodthirsty murderer, does it?" Said Hermione.

"He's just enjoying his new freedom." Harry said resolutely. "He's had a few of wind and tree in Azkaban."

"As you say, Harry." Sighed Hermione.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione watched her everywhere from this moment on. As she was sitting in the empty classroom and prepairing herself for the next classes, as she was correcting their homework, as she was talking with Lupin and sometimes sneaking out in the night to meet Snape for training. And they had it in for her when they met her eye to eye. Especially Harry. He couldn't forgive her being whom they thought she was.

"Severus, the time has come." She said when she met him again in a warm May night. "We will enter the Spirit world together and you'll meet Lily."

He seemed a little bit surprised.

"Don't you want it? Isn't it what you've always wanted?" She asked.

"Indeed it is." He said, no expression in his face.

"I'll hide behind that rock to leave you as interrupted as possible," Sinéad said, "but I cannot be too far from you, you see."

"Of course."

She connected her fingers together and closed her eyes. He did the same. The Spirit of the Moon, she was saying in her mind, come here to us, take us where you live, keep us in contact with you, let us speak with you… She hid as she promised to, and as she could hear Severus' cry "Lily!", she knew she was successful. Now only to maintain the connection… Maintain the connection… Don't be too weak… She could hear just some fragments of their conversation.

 _"_ _Thank you so much for taking care of Harry all this time…"_

"It's nothing, nothing… I'm so happy to see you, so glad… I missed you so much…"

 _"_ _I missed you too, Sev…"_

"Oh, Lily! My sweetest Lily!"

Sinéad started to feel dizzy out there. This is the effect of letting someone non-spiritual (however thoroughly educated about the matter) enter the Spirit World. She had to bear the consequences… She kept repeating to herself: "Don't pass out… Severus is meeting the love of his life again… Don't faint!" She didn't know how she knew about Severus loving Lily so much. She realised she just knew all the time. "Hold… on!"

As the minutes passed, she realised she was weaker and weaker. She didn't pay attention to their conversation anymore, she just wanted to keep the connection. Was it minutes? Wasn't it hours? She didn't know. What she knew was that after a long time she eventually succumbed. The last thing she remembered were Severus' arms catching her so that she wouldn't fall on the cold ground.

She already got used to waking up in Severus' bed instead of her own after their trainings. Except this one wasn't a training anymore. It was a battle. She opened her eyes slowly. The birds were chirping outside and the warm sun was shining. Everything was joyful. Everything was alright. But she felt too weak even to get up from the bed. She just propped herself on her elbows and looked around for Severus.

"How are you feeling?" Said he, emerging from his office which was located behind a black massive door, holding a book which he was probably reading and was smiling at her. He had his usual tightly buttoned clothes imprisoning his body on and looked pretty satisfied.

"I can't move." She whispered.

"I was expecting you to feel like that," he said. "it actually took me a lot of effort two days ago to try to keep you alive."

"I'm sure you could do anything." She whispered.

"Don't be so sure. I'm only a Hogwarts teacher." He said with a frown.

"But you're the best one." She whispered.

"I don't think so." He said plainly and got up from his armchair. "I think there's someone even better than me… Better than all the wizards, in fact."

"N-Nonsense…" She whispered.

He sat at her bedside, took her hand into his and looked her straight into her green eyes. His black ones were coal hot.

"Tell me of any wizard," he whispered, "tell me of anyone who can bring the dead to this world to talk to them for five hours like you did."

"Did you tell her?" Sinéad asked.

"Tell her what?"

"That you loved her."

He frowned again, but his eyes beamed strangely: "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't care if you don't know what I'm talking about. I just want to know if you told her."

He squeezed her hand and looked away: "I did."

"And what did she say?"

"She was surprised."

"Well, I guess there's nothing to be done with it now."

"I know."

He looked at her again, his black eyes spiky and threatening: "No one can know. You blab it out and I swear I'll –"

"There's no need to threaten me." She said. "I've known for a long time. Besides, that's not how trusting people works."

"How it works then?" He asked.

"Well, for example you count on them that if something happened to you, they will be always around to help." She smiled.

"Or you count on them with your happiness in life." He said softly and squeezed her hand again.

"Are you happy?"

"Yes, I am. After a long time, finally…" She never saw him smile so nicely as that day. "Sinéad, I must thank you sincerely. You saved me from further years of repentance and guilt and I cannot really thank you profoundly. I am sorry for not believing in you from the beginning."

"Don't be sorry for me, Severus." She smiled again, "did you get all the answers you needed from Lily?"

"More than I needed, thank you," he said, "thank you, what could I do, is there something I could do for you?"

"You could be my friend forever, if you wished to." She said.

"It's a deal, then!" He said, lauging, and squeezed her hand.

However, what actually happened between Snape and Lily? What did they say to each other? Sinéad didn't know, however, there was someone who did. We won't find out even when Sinéad felt well enough (Severus insisted on giving her a revitalising potion for another week), Lily didn't want to tell her. We must therefore return to the past, to listen to the conversation of Lily and Snape whilst Sinéad was busy with keeping the connection between them.

"Lily!" Breathed out Severus, tears in his eyes.

 _"_ _Severus!"_ Lily said, tears in her eyes also, _"I never knew you had such feelings for me!"_

"Wouldn't you marry James?" Severus said softly, "would you forgive me and be with me instead?"

 _"_ _I can't say that I would nor I can say I wouldn't."_ Lily said, smiling, _"ít makes no good to reminisce on things that could have been. It was my decision and I hold a deep love still for James and Harry."_

"Would I make a better husband than James?" Snape still wanted to know, for he deeply believed he would.

 _"_ _I really don't know, Severus!"_ Lily exclaimed peevishly, _"things would just be different, no one knows whether better or worse."_

"I would never let you be killed," Snape said firmly, "I would never be off guard should your life be in danger."

 _"_ _It's not James' fault he was unprepared!"_ Lily cried. _"He didn't carry his wand around because Harry–"_

"I get it, it's no use talking like that," Snape interrupted her because he knew where this all would lead to; he didn't want her to get mad with him again, after those years they haven't seen each other.

 _"_ _Why did you want to see me?"_ Lily asked with a frown, _"because of you boasting over James?"_

"No, Lily, sweetheart, no," Severus cried hastily, not wanting her to think something bad about him again, "I wanted to know if you forgave me."

 _"_ _Forgave you what?"_ Lily asked with folded arms.

"You know, that time," Severus was prevaricating, "when I mistakenly called you that thing."

 _"_ _What thing? Say it."_ Lily said, her arms still folded in a cross gesture.

"A mudblood." Severus mumbled, ashamed.

 _"_ _No, I didn't."_ Lily said and all the life that was in Severus' eyes vanished.

"You didn't. Indeed, I see why." He said bitterly.

 _"_ _But as I got here, I realised that even though there are some things which cannot be forgotten,"_ Lily said with a smile, _"a friendship cannot end because of that. Just as two people argue, they tell each other horrible things which are engraved in their minds forever, but they can reconcile afterwards. And this was my mistake. I had a right not to forgive you but I didn't have the right not to reconcile with you."_

Severus smiled widely: "So you–"

Lily smiled too: _"I want to reconcile with you, Severus. I want to renew our friendship, and although I cannot be amongst the living anymore, you can take our friendship as continuing, and perhaps it'll be enough to relieve you of your pains, Sev,"_ she said, looking at him with love in her eyes, _"I just couldn't stand seeing you grieving all these years, Severus. Be free of remorse and guilt, love someone, be friends with someone as you once were with me! Have I made your life so unhappy?!"_

"I can't love someone else," he said in a creaky voice.

 _"_ _What?"_

"I can't love someone else," he repeated, "for I love you, Lily. I have always loved you."

She was shocked. She covered her mouth with her hand and then began crying.

"Lily, please don't– Don't cry." He said, wanting to touch her shoulder and console her but he realised she was transparent as a ghost – his hand went through her shoulder like a knife through melted butter.

 _"_ _Would everything be different then?"_ She whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks, _"James never told me he loved me. He told me loads of other things, that I was superb, that he liked me, that I was pretty, that he loved Harry, but– Have I made a mistake? Should it be you, and not James?"_

"Reminiscing about the past won't go anywhere, as you said." Severus said weakly. "Let's forget our mistakes and renew our friendship to our satisfaction. I'm very sorry, Lily, for what I have done."

 _"_ _I'm sorry too, Sev."_ She said and smiled faintly. She hugged him, or at least made the attempt to do so, for as a ghost, or rather, a spirit, there wasn't much she could do.

 _"_ _I can see…"_ She was nodding frantically, _"I can see all of it now. That you were protecting Harry so much… I'll be eternally grateful for that…"_

"It's fine. It's your son after all." He said.

 _"_ _But Sev,"_ she said again, _"please, don't be stuck with the idea of loving me. Please. There are other people who deserve to be loved even more than I do."_

"Whom, for example?"

 _"_ _Sinéad, for example. She loves you and you should love her too, for what she'd done for you."_

"If I ever love someone," Snape said coldly, "it would be for my truest affection to her, not for being thankful. But I feel I can't let you go from my mind, after all those years."

 _"_ _Please, Severus,"_ Lily almost had tears in her eyes again, _"don't grieve for me. Don't suffer for me. I didn't want to make you unhappy for the rest of your life. I really–"_ she sobbed, _"I really planned to get on well with you again, after some time, when I was alive. But I hadn't the slightest idea–"_

"Of the fact you mean so much to me?" He said wryly.

 _"_ _Severus, you need to let go of me! I accept your love, I value it, I cherish it, but I can't give it back!"_ She got close to him, but still she was floating in the air, _"I'm not alive!"_

"So you want me to love someone else."

 _"_ _No! It's not that I want you– I mean, it's your life, I truly want you to do what you want with it! I can't see the reason why are you still dependent on me so much!"_ She exclaimed.

"Can I truly abandon the thought of you?" He said, musing. "It's so strange to me. So new. So free. I never was so free. I don't know what to do with it. I don't know if I am capable of letting go."

 _"_ _Let time and your own heart tell you what's best."_ Lily smiled. _"I'm proud of you, Sev. And thank you for telling me. I do really appreciate all of that. And if I might give you one last advice, look at the women around you. Sinéad truly deserves to be loved as you loved me."_

"She is not you. I don't think I could love her so much. I don't know if I can love her at all."

 _"_ _Don't love her because it's not me. Love her because it's her."_

"Will I see you again?" He whispered.

 _"_ _You can see me every night from your window."_ She smiled. He frowned.

 _"_ _No, Severus,"_ she said, _"there's a good reason why the two worlds are separated, and only exceptionally talented people like Sinéad can cross the boundary. You won't see me again, Sev."_

With one last emotional look at her, he stretched his hand towards her, and she stretched hers towards him. Suddenly, she vanished. He could only hear the whispering wind:

 _"_ _Good bye, dear Sev…"_

Sinéad realised that it's been a long time since she took care of herself properly. She ran herself a lovely hot bath and prepared a hair mask to give her locks the nourishment they deserved. It was made of rare herbal oils and honey, the best that Sinéad knew. She felt now more secure in her shoes than ever. She was actually getting better and better in her spirit-communicating skills as she was helping Severus in her free time. She knew that the time would come soon for him to see Lily again. He made such a big progress, she was proud of him. He opened himself to the unknown, to the natural that was there all the time. He became less stubborn and more understanding. Suddenly, she was stunned. Her hair basically grew overnight. She realised didn't have enough hair balm. When she untangled her usual bun at the scruff of her neck, her eyes nearly popped out by wonder. All over her back, from her head to toe, there was a cascade of ginger hair. It was everywhere. It was nearly touching the ground. She was standing barefoot in her bathroom and just admired this orange waterfall, the beauty. She tried to spin around, but her hair tucked around her neck and nearly suffocated her. When she sat on a chair, it meandered on the ground. Beatiful, thought Sinéad, just beautiful! She was in such hurry recently that she took notice of it only now. For how long had her hair been long like this? She smiled and began prepairing an extra bowl of her nutritious mask. She suddenly realised she didn't have enough chamomile oil for that. I'll try to ask Severus, she thought, he has all those flasks with everything, he'll surely have something.

Without thinking she was in her coarse plain tribal dress only and barefoot, she went out of her room to the corridors.

He seemed really surprised, she couldn't tell whether it was because of her unusual appearance or because she needed a chamomile oil at eleven in the night. He took her to his Potions store in the Tapestry corridor. She thanked him with a beaming smile and twinkling eyes, turned around, and walked into the night. Then he seemed as though realising something important as he watched her copper hair and green dress vanishing into the darkness, he stretched his hand and called in somehow muffled voice:

"Lily!"

"Excuse me?" Sinéad's silhouette was barely visible, but she came back a few steps to be able to hear Severus distinctly.

"Nothing." There was pain in his eyes.

"Severus," she said gently and touched his shoulders, "is there something wrong?"

"No. Nothing." His voice was cracked and muffled as if having a serious case of sore-throat. "I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you are."

"How sweet of you!" Her eyes filled with tears of emotion and she hugged him tight. He closed his eyes and stroke her velvetish hair. He could smell her natural body scent, which he rather liked than disliked.

"Are you sure everything is alright? Don't you want to go with me?" She asked with a deep concern.

"Yes, no, thanks." He smiled and quickly turned around. He didn't want her to see him affected. She played the main character in his night fantasies from this moment on. She and her miraculous eyes, the joyful smile, her dimples which made her a true lady, and this gorgeous hair.


	14. The marriage proposal

**14**

 **The Marriage Proposal**

"Knock-knock!"

"Who's there?" Laughed Sinéad, but immediately knew it would be her faithful friend Lupin.

"No fooling around today," Lupin entered with raised index-finger. "I've some work here for you to do, Miss Advisor."

"Bring it on, I haven't some Advisor-work for ages!" She laughed.

He pushed into her office a thin blonde girl with giant blue eyes.

"This is Miss Lovegood. She's having a bad time with her classmates recently."

"Welcome to my office, Miss Lovegood." Sinéad stretched her arm and cordially shaked the girl's hand.

"I must be off now. Enjoy, ladies." Lupin smiled, but Sinéad knew his time in the month would come again. He was pale and was forcing himself to be joyful.

"I haven't seen you before," said Miss Lovegood with a dreamy voice.

Sinéad smiled: "I am teaching the third years and older, Miss Lovegood. I am Miss Uí Bríain, a Mythology teacher and Student Advisor."

"What's Mythology?" Miss Lovegood was interested.

"You'll find out soon, Miss Lovegood." Said Sinéad with a smile.

"Would it be about nargles too?" She asked in her dreamy voice.

"Excuse me?" Sinéad didn't know at all what the girl meant.

"Nargles. They steal your socks, shoes, necklaces and stuff. I could help you to get rid of them if you like. Do you have some nargles here?"

"What?" Sinéad didn't know what to reply. This girl was weird. No doubt she didn't have any friends.

"Miss Lovegood–"

"Luna."

"Luna–"

"Yes?"

Sinéad sighed. This would be hard.

"Do you have some problems with your classmates?"

"Problems?" Luna looked at Sinéad as if she just woke up and didn't have a clue what was going on. "What problems? I like them."

Yes. This would be VERY hard.

"Are your classmates mean? Do they do things that are unpleasant for you?"

"I think they convinced the nargles to steal my things."

"Don't you think they are stealing them themselves?" Sinéad asked, trying not to sound at all that she's at the edge of her reason.

"Why would they do it?" The girl's eyes were popped out.

"Maybe they don't like you. Do you think this would be probable? Do you have many friends?"

"I have none." The girl said sadly and Sinéad immediately started to feel for her.

"Not one?"

"No."

"Are you sad because of it?"

"Yes, but my dad says I shall pay no attention to them."

"Your father must be a very nice man."

"Yes, he is. He's the editor of The Quibbler. Do you know it?"

"No, I don't." Sinéad said, surprised what else she would have to endure with Luna.

"I have the newest issue here, you can have it if you like," Luna reached her bag and gave Sinéad a colourful magazine with a paper windmill.

"What am I to do with this?" Sinéad was completely puzzled now.

"You blow it and it will take away all the negative ghosts that live in your body." Explained Luna gravely.

"Well, I am sure I don't have any negative internal ghosts!" Said Sinéad with a smile. "And I know something about ghosts…" She said in her mind.

"You think you don't have, but you'll see how many you'll breathe out!"

"Are they doing something else than just hiding your possessions?"

"Not at all! They just don't want to talk to me, and they gave me a nickname and I don't know what it means." She was sad again.

"What's the nickname?"

"Loony Lovegood. My name's Luna, not Loony. I think it's not a nice thing, to change someone else's name without his consent!"

"It certainly isn't." Sinéad said and made another note into her book. "Would you like to come for tea in a few days, Luna?"

"Delighted!" She beamed with joy. There was suddenly a knock on the door.

"Sinéad, I–" Snape's head appeared. "Oh, my apologies, I didn't know you were having some visitor."

"It's allright, I'm going away now." Smiled Luna and squeezed between Snape and the door. "I would give you a copy too, professor Snape, but this one is the only one that I had from my dad. See you soon!"

"Bye, Luna." Sinéad smiled and looked with disbelief at the magazine cover.

"If you told her I wanted a copy of this pulp fiction too I swear I'll hate you until my death." Said Snape.

"Don't be mean Severus. Luna's a very nice girl. She's just…"

"Mental." Finished Snape.

"Extraordinary is what I wanted to say."

"I really admire your generous nature," said Snape, "I couldn't talk to all the students like you do."

"That's why you're unpopular." She smiled. "Sometimes you need to be the generous one."

"Are you trying to be generous to Lupin as well?" Snape asked coldly.

"Severus!" She exclaimed, looking at him, astonished.

"You're doubting yourself now," he smirked, "because you know what I said is true."

"We're friends!" She cried.

"Yes, and didn't you befriend him only because you pitied him?"

"Jaysus!" She cried, hiding her face in her hands. She didn't know what was true anymore. She didn't want anyone to disrupt her feelings. I'll drag you from him at last, Snape thought.

"Is there some particular reason you came here?" She asked in a weak voice.

"I came to inform you that Potter and his bunch of half-wits are plotting against you."

"Why that?" Her eyes were popped out.

"They think you're Black in disguise." Sneered Severus.

"What shall I do?" She wailed, and buried her face into Severus' chest.

"It's fine, it's fine, I didn't want to upset you." He said in a softer, gentlier voice. "Don't take him seriously, this is what I usually do with all the students."

"But that's so disrespectful!" She cried.

"It isn't. It actually would be disrespectful to yourself if you had to take them seriously and bother yourself all the time with their unimportant problems which will eventually subside anyway. It's just the matter of their growing up."

"If you say so…" She sighed, still sad. "But, you know, I worry about what people think about me… I want people to think well about me."

"It makes no use to want someone to think well of you," Severus gently touched her back and said, "the ones who don't like you will never talk well about you anyway. And you can't influence anyone's liking, can you?"

"No, but… At least you can try to be good…"

"There will still be someone whom you treated wrong," Severus said, "you can't treat anyone right. Or, if you do have the feeling you can, it's probably yourself who isn't treated right."

"So…" Her big green eyes were fixed upon him.

"So," he smiled, patting her head, "you must always try to be good to yourself. To treat yourself right. That is the only way you won't suffer. Even if you had to be mean to other people, you can't take the burden of the whole world onto your shoulders. Treat yourself right, even if you would be the only person who does. I've been watching you for so long that I don't have the impression you understood this philosophy. This is the reason I'm telling you. Don't wait for anybody to give you what you deserve, give it to yourself. Then you can be happy, because what happiness does spring for yourself from the satisfaction other people feel? None. You think you wish to make the whole world better, you might think this is what will make you happy, but believe me, you won't be. Even if all the problems of the world were be solved, you would always be the one whom nobody could help. Your own unhappiness would eventually overwhelm you and the fact that the rest of the world is happy would matter but little. You are the whole world for yourself. You must be the whole world for yourself before you can start being the whole world for someone else. And if you wished to make the whole world happy, it's yourself you have to begin with. Although I take such wish as a very foolish one." He added with his eyebrows rised and a slight smirk.

She was stunned: "Is that so? Do I have to start being selfish before I can start being generous?"

"It would do you no harm in any case if you were a little bit more selfish. It is not your duty to be listening to weak fools who just pity themselves. For whom will listen to you afterwards? No one. Whom will do you a favour even if you did a thousands of favours to other people first? No one. Only some few chosen people maybe. But certainly not everybody whom you did a little favour, even if you did it a thousand times. My advice to you is, don't stop being good as you are. Just don't be a good fool. Choose wisely whom you'll help. Many of your genuinely honourable efforts are wasted anyway."

"No matter how ridiculous that sounds, Severus," she was astonished, "you are absolutely right." This is the cleverest and longest speech Severus ever uttered. She understand him more and more. He wasn't bad. He only chose people to whom he would be generous, and his generosity took on many forms. He didn't behave nicely to people. But he always kept his eye on them and protected them from any harm. And that was generous enough, wasn't it? Better than doing small good deeds and than running away when big crisis comes. God doesn't fret upon small misfortunes either, does he?

"You mustn't always give people what they ask, can you?" He raised his eyebrows, "they would stop cherishing your endeavour. You can't always fulfill their hopes in entirety, can you?. For before you notice, their prayers become their biddings. And you will no longer do them a favour, you will do their bidding. You must keep detached. It's you yourself whom decides what you shall be attached to. And if it bothers you, keep your distance."

"Thinking about it, Sev, it isn't ridiculous at all!" She cried, "it's only highly rational. Coldly rational."

"You have to be coldly rational sweetie," he sank into her armchair with a sigh, "you can't put your heart forward immediately at any occasion. It will be very bruised soon." He looked at her with raised eyebrows again, as if challenging her to think about it. She sat opposite to him and couldn't help wondering how his cool logic amazed her.

"Severus, tell me," she bent to him confidentially, almost whispering, "were you a Death Eater?"

"I was," he confirmed and she opened her mouth in a silent wonder. She rolled up his sleeve and showed her her left forearm. She let out a muffled cry.

"What does it do?"

"It's harmless, except for the occasional itchiness. If I touch it with my finger, I can call the other Death Eaters or the Dark Lord himself."

"Would you ever–"

"No, I wouldn't. Not now. The times of its use are long gone." He was almost sad.

"Would you like to have it removed?"

"I don't know." He said, wondering, "maybe it's not possible to have it removed. It's a scar of my past and I put up with it. It's accepted and even if I had it removed, my deeds cannot be removed. So it's no use to wonder if it could be erased."

"But don't you repent it anytime you look at it?"

"I do." He nodded.

"And who's the Dark Lord?"

He was astonished she didn't know. "How could you survive in our world without knowing anything at all?!" He was cross now. "Does Dumbledore The Foolish think you would escape the terror if he doesn't mention anything to you at all?!"

"Well, Lily mentioned something," Sinéad remembered, "something like Voldetort or something."

"Heh, Voldetort…" He chuckled and took a piece of parchment, scribbling something. He handed her the parchment. She read his neat handwritting.

"Voldermort?"

"Ssssh." He silenced her, murmuring: "We don't say his name."

"So you say the Dark Lord instead?"

"He's called so only by those who serve him," Severus corrected her, "the others say just You-Know-Who."

"Well, I certainly wouldn't know You-Know-Whom if you hadn't told me!" She smiled. Then she got serious again.

"Severus?"

"Hm?"

"Is he alive? You-Know-Who…"

"Look," he grasped her shoulders, "what I tell you is strictly confidential. You mustn't tell anyone."

"I won't."

"Dumbledore has a theory about the Dark Lord. According to him, he's alive and he would return, sooner or later."

"Would he–" Sinéad was nervous and scared, "would he kill… Me?"

"Why?" He looked at her with soft eyes.

"Because technically, I'm a muggle." She said tearfully. "He would most certainly find me, and kill me for I dared to enter your world."

"Look," he looked straight into her green eyes, "nobody is going to kill you as long as I am around. You hear me?" He said it as if he were saying it to Lily Potter fourteen years ago. He realised his mixed feelings and shivered a little. The two women were way too similar.

"Ok," she smiled, "ok. We'll fool him together, shall we?"

"Sure," he smiled, "we'll fool them all. The best thing is that Potter thinks you are cheating with me on Lupin."

She burst out laughing: "Why would anyone think such a rubbish?"

"Because it's Potter, and he's always to exaggerate." He began laughing too. She looked at him with love in her eyes. There wasn't any man whom she could possibly like more than him.

However, Luna had to wait a bit longer for their tea. For this day it was when it all happened. It began with the execution of Buckbeak and Ron's finding of his beloved pet. Severus Snape spotted the Marauders' Map in Lupin's cabinet. And Sinéad had this uneasy feeling in her all day. Her intuition told her something's going to happen. Her protective sense was alarmed. She couldn't stay indoors. She wandered outside, even in the Forbidden Forest. She knew something was about to happen.

When she saw a giant dog dragging Ron under the Whomping Willow, she didn't hesitate a moment longer and ran after them. They were all scared and wanted to attack her, but she assured them she wasn't any intruder at all. Harry was cross with her and refused to trust her again. Then Sirius Black told his story and Peter Pettigrew lost his disguise. On the other hand, Severus was mad when he met Sirius Black again, for he was convinced he was the one responsible for Lily's death. When he was stunned by Harry, he began searching for him right after he came to his senses in the Shack. He was exactly on time. He put himself as a human shield in between Harry and Lupin the werewoolf. "This is it," he thought, "at least I reconciled with Lily and fell in love again with another. I can die now happy." However, it didn't happen. Just as the werewoolf was about to hit him with his claws, a fire flap hit it, causing the werewoolf to back and howl.

"Eat this, ye beast!" A woman's shriek resonated in the air. However, Sirius Black turned into a dog started chasing Peter and Harry started running after Sirius, so Sinéad couldn't keep protecting them all. Her hair flew in the wind, she was barefoot, a brave expression on her face. An adventurous music played in the background. Severus stared at her, so did Ron and Hermione. Lupin was getting ready for another hit with his claws. Hermione shrieked. Sinéad waved her hands quickly again and another flame apppeared, hitting the werewoolf's arm again.

"Back up, back up!" She yelled at the three humans behind her, her eyes still fixed on the wild beast. She put herself in between Severus and Lupin, standing with her legs apart, her arms stretched out in defensive gesture.

"Why don't ye take me first?!" She yelled at Lupin, "it'll be quite a big boite for ye to digest!" Her tongue was slipping from the proper manners it was taught. She began feeling the old wild Sinéad in her veins. Her ginger hair circled around her head wildly, her green eyes sharp and threatening. She was prepared to fight, to put her life in danger just to protect everyone else. She concentrated fireballs around her hands. The werewoolf looked irritated. It growled with its white teeth shining in the night. Harry was god knew where, so was Sirius.

"Ye take care of the lot, I'm dealing with it elsewhere!" She yelled at Severus, and ran as fast as she could into the Forbidden Forest, her hair and dress flying after her, her long slender legs thumping the ground. Just as she expected, the werewoolf ran after her, growling threateningly. How long did Lupin's phase last? She couldn't remember. It could be days! She was damned to be in the forest with the beast, watching it carefully and not allowing it to attack any human or any magical creature. It meant days without food, rest, sleep, shower. It meant days of her constant attention. But she accepted her destiny before she could think of it properly. She was determined to sacrifice her life for the good of the school. I will see to it, she told herself, I will see to it that he doesn't hurt anyone. She just hoped Harry would be alright, she hoped Severus would watch him. She had to run like a hare, because Lupin was damn fast. She regretted having so many cakes so far in the castle, for she thought she had a big butt now and it was slowing her down. When she was sure she led Lupin far enough from the castle and deep enough into the forest, she called the Spirit of Nature and imprisoned the werewolf with giant stolons. The beast tried to break out furiously. She actually managed to hold it for some decades of minutes, but she got too weak afterwards. It broke out, nearly bit her and ran away, probably somewhere near the kids. Sinéad cursed under her breath and ran after it, however, couldn't find it for at least an hour. She realised she couldn't hold him. She was too weak to do so. She could run after him and prevent him from harming anyone. She felt frustrated. Exhausted, yet this was only the beginning of a few days' torture. She chased him, she ran away, she fought him, she defended herself, she tried to rest whenever she had a moment. But it was insane. She looked like a walking dead. She vigorously hit him with flames or with other magic if he dared to approach the edge of the forest. She was panting heavily most of the time. She couldn't go on, but she had to. She felt this is the end of everything. After three days and three nights she was completely worn out and half dead. Even Lupin looked miserable. He yowled and didn't want to get near her. Her legs no longer wanted to support her. She was staggering for a while, then she went down her knees and was slowly drifting away. Suddenly she began to feel the well-known terror again. The Dementors were approaching them, pissed off because they didn't get Sirius. Lupin in the meanwhile changed back into his human form, unconscious and ragged. There was no way how they could fight. Just as the Dementors were about to take their souls, a Patronus appeared and drove them away. She lost her consciousness afterwards. She was hungry, nearly died of thirst and very very dirty. She didn't care whom it was. She was only eternally grateful. Only the birds in the forest knew it was Dumbledore who came to the forest for her. He came because Severus was mad with fear that she went to fight the werewoolf alone. He begged him to save her just as he once did for Lily. Maybe he begged even more desperately? Nobody knew.

The door of the hospital was thrown opened by Severus. He ran inside, his cloak floating behind him, his face pale, his eyes hurt, his mouth crooked as if in pain. He dashed to Sinéad's bed and took her hand into his. Her upper half of her body was supported by a pile of pillows, her hair was bedragged, she had huge bags under her eyes and overall, she didn't look very well. But she was taken care of by Madame Pomfrey. She was clean and nourished, however, the nurse said with great irritation in her voice that the red-haired teacher was brought to the hospital ward almost dead due to her long and intense suffering.

"Severus…" She said quietly with her weak voice.

"I must- I must tell you now. I must do it. I can't see you like that anymore. Please allow me-" he kneeled beside her bed- "allow me to be yours. I am fed up with trying to figure out who you are, I- I think I can never figure you out anyway, you're a unique woman, that's as much as I can tell, and I- I would be honoured- If you- If you'd like to be my wife."

"Severus…" She said weakly again, "do you truly love me enough to become your wife?"

"You mustn't excite yourself." He reprimanded her and gave her that strange look again, "it's you who wanted it, isn't it? To become engaged before you start to get too intimate with anyone. I wanted to tell you that- that I am willing- to do- do anything you want. I want to be beside you. I am willing to do anything you want as long as you are mine. Please, I beg you- I ask you for you hand."

She was burning inside, she was suffering. She never saw Severus so hurt, so moved. She truly felt for him, however, she had to remain focused on her own well-being.

"Do you truly love me, Severus?" She asked him again.

"I could- never- figure out my own feelings." Severus was panting heavily and it seemed that every word was giving him an intense pain. "I could- never- distinguish clearly any other feeling than hatred. But what I can tell you- is that- you are not indifferent to me. Every time I'm alone I feel an uncontrollable desire to be with you, or I wonder what you are doing at any moment of the day. I couldn't see you beside any other man."

"So you want to book me for yourself then?" She asked.

"No book- I shall never intend to hurt you."

"If you can't say it, then show it to me, Severus." She said, "allow my heart and yours to be one!"

"What shall I do?" He asked.

"Come closer," she whispered, "take me into your arms."

He did so and as she felt for the first time the beating of his heartbeat through his shirt and her hospital gown, she felt for the first time the intense feeling that connected immediately between the two chests. Severus' heart was pumping huge amounts of love and passion into hers, and she could only let herself be held firmly in his arms and booze the intoxicating sensation.

"Oh, Severus!" She moaned softly, "there's so much- so much inside you that you didn't tell me about! That you perhaps never would be able to tell me!"

After a very short time, which hovewer seemed like eternity for the two of them, he let go of her carefully and sat at the edge of her bed, smiling a little and looking at her with his eyes sparkling with love and warmth. He still held her hand, with which she now feebly squeezed his.

"I will, Severus."

"Oh, yes," he remembered, "I have this for you."

He gently took her hand and presented her with a litttle silver ring. It was sparkling in the light of the hospital candle and Sinéad could see it came with a green precious stone on it.

"Oh, Severus!" She breathed out weakly, she didn't have the strength to oppose him yet, although she would like to do so now. "I can't take it. It's too rare!"

"Of course you must." Said he coldly, but then smiled a little. "You will be my wife soon. There's nothing you couldn't have. Just take anything I give you."

"Will you be a good husband to me?" She asked feebly.

"Well, I will certainly treat you well. How it will be with the- more intimate things I can't tell you. The general rule is that you should never expect too much."

"You should be more romantic, Severus." She said weakly again, putting up with his cold strict words. "Indeed," she finally said sadly, "you can expect me to be a good wife to you. I was brought up to be modest, I never expect too much. It was already too much you gave me."

"Nonsense." He said indifferently. "I shall come to you soon and see you're better."

He turned around, hesitated a while, but then placed a light little kiss on her cheek and dashed away. She touched slowly with her fingers the place his lips have been a second ago, and thought that this was the first kiss she received from her husband-to-be. But, did he really love her? She wanted to be loved, and she thought she could never enter a marriage where she wouldn't be loved; Severus was kind to her, and gentle, and supportive, and had many aspects she would wish her ideal husband should have. But there was his problematic past, and there was his reluctancy to propose to her openly and with all feelings on his hand. "Will it be like that forever?" She asked herself quietly, "will I marry a man who can never tell me he loves me, who answers me coldly and keeps his stance from me? Can I survive in this cubicle of ice?" She really didn't know. She was unsure of her decision now. She was sure she could live with Severus as her husband, but it definitely wasn't her dream husband she ever wanted. And although she was in love with Severus so much, she never thought her love would be requitted. She was consciously aware of those many mistakes Severus had, she wished whe wasn't in love so madly, and this formed a part of her emotional obstacle. Suddenly she was glad that they were still engaged, she could have some time to get used to him, and then, eventually, to say no. She could no longer understand herself. Isn't it what she ever wanted? And wasn't she in love with Severus for a long time already? So why wasn't she happy now?

After few days she was well enough to go back to her chamber. The school year was almost finished now so she didn't have to worry about anything. She walked slowly to Lupin's chamber first, sad and low.

"Remus, I… I am so sad I don't know what to say!"

"You could say I got a few days' attention of everyone in the castle," he said wryly. "I always knew I would be inappropriate for the job."

"Please don't say that Remus!" She cried. "You were a wonderful teacher! There was just the little health handicap of yours!"

"Health handicap!" Cried Lupin, mad with sorrow, "that 'little health handicap' constantly ruins my life, I can have no friends, no family, no job, I am damned to scrape along forever!"

"R-Remus!" She cried and hot tears began streaming down her cheeks. She was trembling with sobs."

"And finally, when I first thought I had found a woman of my dreams, the only one who could understand me and stand by me, Snivellus comes and snatches her out of my hands!" He shouted.

"Don't call him like that!" She shrieked. "It's not his fault we couldn't- end up together!"

"Yes, and whose fault was it then?!" He shouted.

"YOURS!" She shrieked furiously at him, blind of the fact that Severus stood at the doorway, watching the dispute with a great interest, and, let's say it frankly, a good deal of amusement and a slight smirk in his face. "You promised to take me for a ball- Despite of being well aware of the date of the ball overlapping with the full moon of December- You saw how much work it took me- And you left me there, without any proper excuse, not counting an illegible scratched door- And then, you had a lot of chances to catch up with him concerning my feelings for both- And you didn't bother. So this is how it is, and I say, don't you dare say a word about Severus and me!" She turned quickly around and lurched a little due to her relatively recent coming to standing on her own feet. When she saw her fiancée bent on a doorway with a smirk on his face, she got pale and hesitated. She glanced at Lupin, who was pale, sweating and panting heavily, he was emotionally struck.

"I- I didn't want you to hear that," Sinéad stummered, "it was only between me and Remus."

"I don't think so," Severus said coldly, "everything what is your engagement is my engagement from now on. I have nothing more to say." He also turned around, offered Sinéad his arm in case she should lurch again and slowly took her to her chamber.

"I wish you wouldn't interfere with my affairs." She said to him.

"And I wish you would scream at people more often. You are exceptionally good at it." He said to her.

But everything was alright and they knew it.

"Do you think it's wise to let them be married, Albus?" Minerva asked in a concerned voice. "Sinéad is a stranger after all. Doesn't it make her more vulnerable to be married to a Death Eater?"

"Maybe, Minerva. Who knows." Said Dumbledore. "I think she isn't more vulnerable for marrying Severus than she would have been otherwise. Lord Voldemort will have a deep interest in her, that's certain."

"Perhaps," the white-bearded Secretary of Love continued, "perhaps it will allow Severus to protect what he couldn't protect last time he was deeply in love."

"Do you think the Snape family could face the same destiny as the Potters?!" Minerva gasped.

"Who knows, Minerva." Said Albus again. "Both of them will have to be brave to face whatever destiny lies ahead."

"And isn't she rather a queer match for someone like Severus?" The witch asked.

"I don't think so Minerva," answered Albus more cheerfully with a slight wink of his left eye, "I couldn't imagine more suitable woman for him."

There was a knock on the door. Sinéad came in.

"Professor Dumbledore, I would like to ask you a little favour."

"What could I do for you, professor?" He asked kindly. Minerva smiled.

"I am to fully enter your wizarding world shortly," she began, "as a wife of one of you. And I really feel handicapped for not knowing much about this world still so far. I can do no magic. I can't go anywhere I want just as you wizards can. I can barely use your money. I don't know the laws, the customs, nothing. I feel like a big child in here. I feel I need to be more independent. I cannot be a burden for my husband. If people see I cannot move without him, they could start being suspicious about me. And thus, my husband could be scrutinised for my ignorance. I don't want to be a disgrace for my husband, professor."

"Sinéad," he said kindly and put his hand reassuringly on her shoulder, "I can see this is a very serious topic for you. Why don't you ask professor Snape himself to educate you a little?"

"I feel ashamed, professor," she turned red, "when he discovered I didn't know You-Know-Whom, he was really upset. I felt like I did some sort of crime. I don't want to feel guilty anytime I don't know something."

"I understand you would like to explore everything on your own and would like to learn as much as you can," Dumbledore said, "but you have to understand that Hogwarts is the safest place in our world. When you begin finding out things for yourself outside its walls, you are likely to come across some dark wizards and witches. Or, you are likely to come across some Ministry clerk who could question your belonging to this world and could call you a muggle and punish you for penetrating this world without a permission. It is probably the wisest thing to roam outside only with your husband-to-be."

"But I would lose my freedom in its entirety, professor." She said sadly.

"It can't be helped. It is your punishment for being whom you are."

Sinéad felt like she had been treated unjustly by Dumbledore. She wanted to object to it, but found no arguments to support herself with. She just sighed.

"Isn't there at least some way for me how to travel?" She said with traces of resignation in her voice.

"Perhaps there might be…" Dumbledore thought, "call for Hagrid."

"Wicked!" Yelled Sinéad half an hour later, holding the handlebars of the famous flying motorbike. "Can I really keep it, Hagrid?"

"Sure thing!" The giant man boomed and smiled.

"You can get it into the air by the use of the lever." Dumbledore advised, however, she was already tying her dress in between her legs and securing her long hair before putting on the helmet and the googles. She mounted the bike like a skilled rider, it was not much different from riding a horse after all. She was reving up the motorbike wildly like a gangster. Adrenaline flew in her veins. She wanted to be free, she wanted Severus to see that she is capable of maintaining herself. She wanted him to watch her in awe as she was riding. But first of all, she wanted to try the machine. She sprang forth, yelling a little, she didn't expect the engine to be so powerful. Luckily all the students were gone now, she would surely run some of them down. She was scooting like a madwoman across the grass, and when she reached the top of a nearby small hillock, she lifted the lever. It was clattering and quite reluctant to move. But she managed. She rose into the air, screaming and trying hard to keep the machine leveled. She whizzed in the air and gulped her newly acquired freedom with ecstasy. No waiting till somebody could pick her up… No flying on a broomstick with anybody… She would be free, totally free… She had to show Severus that she was bound to him as little as possible…

Minerva and Dumbledore were looking at the July sky. Snape approached them, not wearing his usual long cloak. He looked slim and elegant.

"Have you seen my–"

The rest of his sentence was drown out by the earsplitting roar of the motorbike, Sinéad tried to land. The machine skidded, causing Sinéad the necessity of swerving the handlebars in order to counterbalance the trajectory of the motorbike on the ground. A huge cloud of dust appeared, the rider emerging from it coughing and taking off her helmet and googles.

"Are you inventing a new way to kill yourself?" Asked Severus sarcastically.

"Not at all," she smiled, "I was just trying to think about a way of travelling in which you wouldn't have to go with me all the time."

He pressed his lips together in contempt, however, deep inside he had to acknowledge she had a point about that.


	15. The first day at her fiancée's home

**15**

 **The First Day at her Fiancé's Home**

After the school year ended, Sinéad went on her new motorbike to wake her father (her tribe celebrated the Merry Wake tradition for so long that she couldn't even explain to Severus what was it all about). After a few days, she packed her things and waited for Severus to show up to take her to his house. She was scared of it, quite scared. But it was natural for the husband to take his wife-to-be under his roof, wasn't it? When she went to Hogwarts, she packed only the necessary things. But this time, she sighed, this time it would be for good. She looked around her simple thatched cottage, which was just a little better than the other slums. There was only a simple wooden bed with thin covers, not really comfortable, a little table, two chairs, a wardrobe and a fireplace. Gosh, she got spoilt in Hogwarts. She even couldn't live in such a poverty anymore. She took some pottery of hers, her spinning wheel and weaving loom. Oh, how she missed these little inventions! Upon her arrival, she tried not to look so worldly, she didn't wear any makeup, her hair wasn't in elaborate buns anymore, only in two simple plaits running down her back, and she had her plainest dress on. At the previous evening, the community organised a farewell party to her and since Eiméar was having rather a stormy household with her husband at that time (plus she was expecting her first child for real now), it was agreed that their uncle would be the king of the tribe. The elder women were giving her some valuable advices to her upcoming marriage. And all the young lads were rather discontented, for each of them wanted to have Sinéad as their own wife. The women said that Sinéad was old enough to go to the outer world on her own now, they all knew that since she went to live with other magicians, she would surely pick one of them. Luckily Severus was a wizard, she thought, they would kill me if they knew I ran off with a muggle.

But there once was their own word for that, how was it? The Pork-heads. She remembered, but realised with terror that she had almost forgotten. What other things had she forgotten? Would she forget completely? Would she forget her mum and dad? Would she forget how to be modest and humble? Would she forget how it feels to be cold and to must go pick berries in a freezing winter weather? She shivered. She feared she would. And she yet didn't know if she wanted to forget.

Severus Snape had already arrived. However, he barely knew where he was going. He had to think about a conundrum that fascinated him those few days. When Dumbledore found Sinéad in the forest after her infinite struggle with Lupin, he brought her into the hospital ward to Madame Pomfrey to give her an extra blood enhancing potion. However, her organism reacted very badly to that. So, Madame Pomfrey instructed him to test Sinéad's blood sample on a few batches of the potion to adjust it to her needs exactly. The weird thing was, however hard Snape tried (and he knew something about potionmaking, wouldn't you say?), he couldn't figure it out. No potion matched her blood sample. Then he did probably the worst thing that a person can do to his closest human being, he examined her blood with a special enchanted parchment that could determine various types of blood, since wizards used quite a few, and when you were making potions which had blood as an ingredient to them, and if you had a suspicious bottle of blood in your stock, you should always make sure what type of blood you were using, otherwise the potion could go terribly wrong. The results the parchment showed had still been niggling at the back of his head. Non-human. How can a blood of a human being you personally know and know that there's nothing the matter with her, be non-human? This was the result the parchment showed. Which was another conundrum, because in all the other cases, it was more concrete. There could be for example dragon blood, or phoenix blood, or centaur blood, or goblin blood, even blood of a house-elf, but non-human was leading to nothing. It was the hyperonym of all the other types of blood. There was human and non-human, and non-human included the ones he just went through in his head. But the parchment should be more concrete, it was always more concrete. Except for this case. He was hesitant now. He wondered whether he hadn't made a wrong decision after all. But what would she tell him? That he didn't trust her enough and checked her blood with a piece of parchment to see if she was really a human being! She would surely get cross. Severus sighed. There was no worse thing than a mad woman.

"Hello there. Sin's hair got really long recently." He swiftly turned around. There was one of her sisters, he didn't know which one, leaning on a pine. Behind her, there were the women of the tribe, shyly peeping out from behind the bushes and trees.

"If you'd kindly go with us, we need to tell you something." The sister said, took his arm and led him deep into the forest. All the other women went with them, marching, forming a circle around the pair.

"Where are you taking me?" He glanced at the sister who clung his arm now like a leech.

"Deep into the forest, so she doesn't hear us." The sister said and he began to feel uneasy. The women marched like soldiers. Some of them were red-haired, some of them were brunettes. There wasn't any other hair colour. They were wearing dirty plain clothes and aprons, some of them carried crossbows and all except the sister were looking down at their feet. He had the impression that they didn't want to look at him. The sister only was smiling and looking round gaily, happy to be leading her future brother-in-law deep into the woods to face God-knew-what.

"So now," she let go of his arm when they reached a tiny meadow, "I need to talk to you. We all need to talk to you." He was feeling uneasy. He didn't even know how to go back. But he kept his face expressionless as usual.

"We thought you had to know. Sinéad is not my sister." She told him simply with a grave tone in her voice. What did she expect? Him crying "Oh my Gosh that's impossible?" or any such thing? No. He kept cool, only arching his eyebrows.

"Oh. Isn't she?" Ok, he thought, so here we go. That's matching my test results. Well, what is she, a fairy? That would suit her well.

"She isn't anybody's sister." The girl went on. "She's a bean sí."

He cought himself having his mouth slightly opened and his eyes popped out wide. A banshee?! HIs fiancée, his wife-to-be, was a banshee!

"Well, she's only half of it," she corrected herself when she saw Severus' astonishment, "she's half bean sí half human."

"Why– Why are you telling me?!" He said weakly. "Do you want to discourage me from marrying her?"

"It's the opposite," the girl said, smiling, "we don't want you to leave her and her future children after you discover what she is. So we're telling you now, and if you're weak, you can run away." The other women were nodding now, grave expressions on their faces.

I? Thought Severus Snape. Weak? Some chance!

"Why wasn't she supposed to hear us?" He asked coldly.

"Simple." The girl said. "She doesn't know."

"How come?" He asked.

"Twenty eight years ago," the girl started explaining, "there was a man who fell in love with a bean sí. He must've been mad, for only a madman falls in love with that creature. She's terribly unattractive. She's not from this world, she comes from the Otherworld to accompany the dying souls on their long journey. She's the Messenger of Death, however for the deceased she's a saviour."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Just for you to know what they're like." She said. "However unbelievable this might seem, the bean sí had a child. A girl."

"Sinéad…" He breathed out.

"The man was from our people. Heavied by his guilt, he came to our father to beg for forgiveness and to confess his sin. Our father was outraged. He killed the man for violating one of the most sacred laws, that we shouldn't interfere with the Otherworld. We can't fall in love with the Spirits, Sinéad surely told ye."

"She did. What will happen to you if you interfere with the Otherworld?"

"We don't know. Something terrible." The girl said. "However, our father was aware of what he'd done, that killing the baby's only relative had made her actually an orphan. For the bean sí wasn't ever aware of any motherhood. She couldn't take care of any baby, she doesn't do that. So my father and mother took Sinéad as their own child and no one could tell her under the threat of a death penalty."

"Why? Why couldn't anyone tell her?"

"Because she would most probably blame herself. She would regard herself as unclean, defiled, impure. She would regard herself as a monster. And my father wanted no such thing. He wished at least the baby would be spared the crime. It is not her fault that she was born what she was. This is the reason why she's so good at communicating with the spirits. She's nearly one of them, actually."

"How about me?" He asked. "What will I– What danger will there be for me if I stay with her?"

"None at all." Her so-called-sister smiled again.

"But banshees are one of the most deadly creatures in our world," he said, "if you hear them screaming, you'll die."

"Did ye hear her wailing?" She asked.

"Yes."

"And had something happened to ye?"

"No." He suddenly realised the events of the night when she found out her father died. "No. It was just the most horrible sound on Earth."

"Unfortunately, it is. But what can be done?" She questioned him. "She is whom she is. She can't be changed."

"Why are you telling me now?" His cold black eyes were looking at her mistrustfully. "You could've waited after the wedding and even after some years of our happy marital life together."

"My father was an honest man." She said with a sharper tone of her voice. "He wanted to tell any man from our people who would like to marry her about this secret. He wanted to be fair with everyone. He asked me to tell ye before he died. He knew she would marry someone from your community, sooner or later. It was just a matter of time."

"So, your people don't know?"

"No. All the men remain ignorant." She said and all the women began nodding again. "Men have no understanding. No empathy. They would kill her if they knew. They wouldn't understand it was not her fault."

One of the women said something in their native language Severus couldn't understand.

The red-haired girl said: "Siobhán wants me to tell ye to mind her powers."

"What?"

"To mind Sinéad's powers. We don't know what she can do. There might be… a state in which she would be capable of horrible things. Ye are here to help her. That's why we told ye. It was a secret kept by the women only and now ye know. As kind-hearted and tender we are, we couldn't stand murdering such an innocent creature as a young girl is! But men are different. Their knives and swords are quicker than their minds, and that's why they couldn't know the secret. But ye can guard it. We trust ye."

He was rather silent and full of worries when they got back. Sinéad welcomed him with a smile, however, could immediately know there was something wrong. She thought it was their low life standard and poverty what appalled him. She was terribly sorry for that. But he told her everything was fine. Sinéad said her last final good bye and they disapparated back into England.

"Where are we?" Asked the woman when they apparated again. She looked at the rows and rows of dilapidated brick houses and the dirty streets and shivered. This place was ugly.

"This is Cokeworth." He said, walking to one of the houses. She quickly grabbed her bag and followed him. "And this is Spinner's End." He opened the front door and gestured with his arm for her to go first. The atmosphere of this arrival was gloomy and hostile. She entered the living room. It was very dark, dusty, and full of books. He waved his wand to light the candles and the fireplace. But even with this improvement, the living room remained unwelcoming. At the right side to it there was a tiny kitchen and there was also an old staircase leading upstairs. She stood shyly, looking around as he sank comfortably into one of the armchairs.

"You can sit down." He told her coldly.

She obeyed him like a six year old girl and sat down, still hesitatingly looking around.

"There is a lot of books." She said at last.

"I got them when my parents died." Severus added.

"Is this the same house?"

"The very same."

"Is there some vegetables and fruit to cook?"

"No there isn't."

"I could go and fetch some then." She said.

"No, I cannot let you roam here in your own." He said, getting up from the chair. "I will get something. You stay here, you can't go out of this house. Understand?"

"Yes." She said weakly, feeling humiliated and low. She felt like a prisoner.

He was back in twenty minutes. She was peeping into his books in the meantime. There wasn't anything that would really interest her.

"Come upstairs." He said. She obeyed again, feeling like a burden to him. He was so cold. So hostile.

There was one bedroom which was quite nice and looked inviting and comfortable. Sinéad liked it. There was a giant four-poster bed, the posters were black. As the rest of the house, it was cold here, dusty, and shabby. The house really suffered from Severus' regular absences. There was also a giant wardrobe, a dressing table, a writing desk, and some books again. And a black slate fireplace.

"This is my bedroom. I'll show you yours." He turned around and without any glance at her, any other word to her, he led her to the door next to this of his bedroom. He opened it. A cloud of dust rose from the floor. She was stunned. He doesn't want to share a room together, like all the couples do? Doesn't he want to be with her anymore? Doesn't she deserve a single sign of liking, a slight smile, a sparkle in his eyes? Oh, how his eyes used to sparkle! How his lips used to smile! How his words used to warm her up! Now there was only dust and chill.

She entered the room hesitatingly. It was small like two broomstick closets from Hogwarts. The walls were white and undecorated, contrary to the ones in Severus' room, where there were paintings, bookshelves, dark panelling and candles. There was only a small window opposite the door. There was a bed, much more narrow than the one next door, and without any decorations as well again, there was a small wardrobe and a simple table with a chair. Nothing else.

"I didn't have the opportunity to tidy it up a little, but you'll manage, won't you? Women are the best with cleaning the house after all. Like house-elves." He smirked, closed the door behind her, and his footsteps turned to the room next door.

She flung her bag on the floor and tears entered her bright green eyes. Is this what she deserved? Is this what he could give her? Was this her destiny? Was this how he loved her? A shabby hostile room in a foreign grayish city? She sat on her bed, the mattress squeaking and a few mice running from under the bed cover. Her hair lank around her face, her gaze directed at nowhere. She was thinking why exactly had she said yes to Severus' proposal not a long ago.

Severus sat on his queen-size bed next door as well. He too was thinking. Was she mad with him? Was she crying? He listened to the overwhelming silence of the house, but couldn't hear anything. The truth was that he was still shaken by the news from this morning. How can he marry a banshee? A beast? He, whom after all these years finally overcame his disdain to muggle-borns and would be completely okay and happy if she were from a magical tribe with special skills and abilities? That was still fine with him, he would be glad. That's still something like a muggle-born, quite. But not a banshee, no. But what could he do? To go next door and cancel their engagement? What for? What reason would he have? What reason could he invent? He couldn't tell her the truth, he promised to her sister. Look at the women out there, he said to himself. They knew what she was all these years and hadn't told her a word, hadn't shown any trace of disapproval. They are better than me, he thought. I can't be that generous. I consider her filthy, yes, admit it, he told himself, you consider her filthy. You could have her as a servant, perhaps, but not as a wife. He could hear the roar of her motorbike outside. That's done, then, he thought, she's gone.

However, she didn't get far. Sinéad was crying and could barely see where she was going. She didn't fly, it would be too dangerous in this city and someone could see her. Some muggle. She didn't know what was happening, but was sure that this morning, there must've been something that greatly disturbed him. What was it? What did happen? Had Méav told him something? Had Eiméar done something? What terrible thing could've possibly happened? She drove through the streets and desperately tried to see some trace of green colour, of some trees and grass, but in vain. She needed to be in her natural habitat now. She noticed some of the people staring at her and realised her long hair was flying behind her and she had her plain dress on, which however seemed strange for the muggles. She swerved into a side street and stole a pair of jeans and a brown T-shirt from a washing line. She changed her clothes. The muggle clothes seemed weird and uncomfortable at first, but were really comfortable, she couldn't even believe how comfortable they were. I can get you now, she told herself, I can get you, with your strange attitudes, strange clothes and strange inventions, muggles. Maybe, who knows, if she got to know them better, maybe they wouldn't be that strange. She rode to a little hillock nearby, some five kilometres from the town. She got off the morbike and could finally breathe freely. The fresh air was penetrating her body and she was being reborn. She took her violin with her, and now began playing it beautifully with her eyes closed. It was so refreshing, so joyful. Her heart started beaming again and she smiled. She felt happy, only with her music and herself.

There was a knock at the door.

"You got scared of the wicked city so soon, huh?" Snape said sarcastically and got up from the sofa in the living room where he had been reading a book to answer. To his surprise, Dumbledore was standing outside.

"Could I pop in for a cup of tea, Severus?" The Headmaster asked kindly.

"Sure." Severus murmured and closed the door behind him. He went to the kitchen to make it.

"Where is your beautiful fiancée?" Dumbledore asked and was looking around Severus' house.

"I don't care where she is." He murmured from the kitchen.

"Our actions determine whom we are, not our origin, Severus." Said Dumbledore and the addressee froze on the spot. How could Dumbledore possibly know? Did she run to him? He returned to the living room, disturbed again.

"How could I possibly marry her? She's a devillish creature! A beast!"

"Does she know about your history with Voldemort, Severus?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

"More or less." He answered.

"Had she called you names?"

"No."

"Did she object to it?"

"No."

"Did she object to this city? To this house?"

"No, she didn't."

"You see, Severus. The Fate is a complicated element. It brings us places only to test our strength and bravery. And you're the bravest man I ever knew, Severus."

"What do you mean?" He growled.

"Sinéad's fate as your future wife had brought her into an intimate contact with you, Severus. She might be facing danger and death. Yet she hasn't said a thing. She put up with it quietly. She put up with the fact that from this moment on, she would be socially inferior to you forever. Yet she didn't blame you for anything of this. She may not like this place, or this house, yet she would bear it calmly, because she is to be a wife soon, and wives endure bad things well. Wives can stand all calamities. And with all this suffering, they even manage to run a household. Something we men can never understand." He winked. "Wives must be tolerant enough to endure all affairs of their husbands and men must be brave enough to protect their wives forever from harm. And I think Sinéad is more than well capable of being a good wife to you, Severus."

"Well the problem isn't what she's capable of, I know damn well what she's capable of, that little devil," Severus smiled as he reminisced, "the problem is whom she is.– What she is."

"You've always been concerned too much with the issue of origin of people, don't you think, Severus? Think how easy the world would have been if everyone could have forgotten about the origin and social status of everyone else."

"It's not the social status." He growled. "I would be completely fine with it should she be a muggle. But she's not. She's even worse than that."

"Do you like Hagrid, Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"Not that I would like him in particular," Severus admitted, "but he's fine. He's quite alright."

"And do you know his mother was a giant?"

"Kind of, yes. But what does it matter? Wizards have been in touch with giants for quite a long time now."

"Interesting, don't you think, that we automatically approve of the things we know, Severus?" Dumbledore smiled. Severus frowned. The old man was making him to lose his point of view and to adapt the right one. And Severus had the impression that he wanted to be sulking a bit longer.

"Just because we don't know the banshees very well doesn't mean we should be their enemies. What do we know, after all? They don't have to be that dangerous. You can cooperate with the giants quite well, can't you?" Dumbledore said.

"Giants' scream isn't fatal." Severus reminded him.

"Sinéad's sister told you banshees' isn't either."

"The wizards know otherwise."

"They can as well be wrong. And remember, Sinéad is only half-made of the unknown, Severus. You already know the other half of her. It's the same as you, it's human."

Snape sighed. Why was it so terribly difficult to resist the old man's good will?

"She wants to be loved, Severus!" Dumbledore whispered. "You can finish it anytime you want, Severus. You can separate any time you want and it would be all over. But why don't you try it at least? You can only gain. you cannot lose. She might have a few pleasant surprises hidden in her sleeve. Give it all a chance, Severus. Let it sit, let it rest. You don't have to start a family right now. You both need time to learn from each other." Dumbledore said softly.

Snape nodded, gazing into an empty space.

"Find her." Dumbledore said, smiling, and disapparated. The cold cup of tea stood on the cupboard, but no one paid attention to it.

She played a few songs.

"Hey, that was so nice!" Said a guy who suddenly stood a few steps from her.  
"Thank you." She smiled and felt warm inside. Somebody complimented her.

"I'm Tim, by the way," he smiled and extended his hand to her.

"I'm… Maddie." She said, remembering Severus and how angry he would be if she revealed her true identity. She shook his hand and they both smiled.

"Do you live here?" She asked him.

"Yup, and you?" He smiled.

"Temporarily." She said. "I'm staying at my brother's."

"Really? How's he called?"

"Snape." She said. She couldn't make up anything now, he would have known she was lying.

"Hm. He's really odd, that Snape." Tim frowned.

"I guess so…" She shrugged her shoulders.

"Hey Maddie? You'd like to go for a lunch with me? I mean, there's a group of us guys who really like playing music and stuff, maybe you could play with us, if you liked." Tim looked at her and talked in a very friendly way. She liked that. "The other fellas will be there too."

"Sure." She smiled. That's what I need, she told herself, I need a change. I can't be locked with that madman twenty four seven, can I?

So she went with him, he had arrived on a motorbike too. He made fun of her, how old her vehicle was, but she didn't mind. He was tall and nice. She had a lunch with them all in a pub on the main street of the city. They invited her. She thought that was very nice of them. She liked muggles. She couldn't understand why Severus did not. After the meal, they played a few songs. There was a cello, a guitar, bagpipes and a drum. Tim had the guitar. She felt relaxed and easy. She had a pint of beer with the lads. They were all very nice and liked her musical skills very much. She felt she finally found some friends who weren't weird. They spent the whole afternoon chatting. Before she could realize it, it was dark outside. The lads paid for the beers and they all went into the street. She was just about to say good bye and go home, but suddenly, the guys snatched her and hauled her into a side street. She tried to fight back or to resist, but they held her hands tight, one of them from each side, and they clogged her mouth too, so that she couldn't scream. There was almost no public lightning, so the innkeeper couldn't see her. No one could see her. They could do to her whatever they wanted now. It started raining heavily.

"Well well, Maddie," Tim smirked and his friendly voice was gone, "let's have a look into your knickers, shall we?"

She closed her eyes. That was it. That was the punishment for her runaway. The man was unbuttoning her pants and rolling up her T-shirt.

Suddenly, a light flashed from the darkness. The the guys who held Sinéad's hands and mouth fell on the ground and were screaming as horribly as it would be possible for a living creature to do. Sinéad thought they were about to die in any second then.

"You- You FREAK! What you've done!" Cried Tim and was backing up in fear. Sinéad looked at her hands as confused as she could be. What the hell was going on?

"No one…" A cold, deadly voice was resonating from the darkness, "will call my wife a freak." Swift steps were approaching. Severus Snape was pointing with his wand at the only muggle who could still stand at his feet. He grabbed his collar harshly and pushed him at the wall, still pointing with his wand into his face.

"No one…" He snarled again, "will touch her if she doesn't wish to."

Sinéad's eyes were popped out, and she was unconsciously zipping up her pants and adjusting her T-shirt so that her white flat belly would be shining in the darkness. A green light lighted the street and the muggle's body thumped the ground, dead. She stared at him, not knowing what to do or say.

"You look hideous." Said Snape. "You'll have to change back into some normal clothes when we get back." He put his wand back into his waistpocket, took off his large cloak and covered Sinéad's trembling wet figure with it. She was shocked. She couldn't figure out what just happened.

"Come with me," he said in a quiet voice, rubbing her shoulders gently to warm her up, "you're all soaked up. Your hair is trailing behind you in the mud."

She stared at him.

"It's okay now, everything's okay." He whispered to her, his black eyes meeting her green ones. "The house is warm and light now. We can clean the dust tomorrow if you want."

"It's not the dust! It's not the coldness I ran away from!" She cried, sobbing, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I thought you hated me because of whatever happened this morning!"

"Would I have you raped if I hated you as you say?" Severus smiled and gently pushed her away from the crime scene. She was too tired. It was just too much going on in one day. She had a hot bath when they came home, and Snape waited for her to usher her into his chamber. They were both laying under the giant bed cover and slowly falling asleep, Snape thought Dumbledore was actually a remarkable old man after all… This was the first step to their marital life, but at this moment, it was unclear whether it was meant to be happy or not.


	16. Terrible Snape!

**16**

 **A Terrible Man**

When the summer was almost finished, Sinéad decided to go to the Diagon Alley to buy herself some new clothes for the schoolyear. Severus disclosed to her the secret that Hogwarts would be hosting the TriWizard Tournament and she wanted to look representatively. She decided to ditch her usual brown tunic and green wide pants for a while and to buy herself a new dress – she had remade the only fancy one into a party dress, short and sparkling. And there was another very important task for her to do – to make herself a splendid ball gown for the Yule Ball taking place in December. No old dress' remaking this time, she told herself, I would buy miles of the most luxurious fabric and make them with all designs and all. They will be precisely as I want them. She also needed some yarns to make warps and wefts to continue weaving on her old loom. Severus insisted that she had her gown done by Madame Malkin, but Sinéad wouldn't listen. She took pleasure and pride in making her own dresses. But the one that she planned to wear on daily basis, she didn't have time to make it. She had to buy it. After an hour, she chose green Renaissance style dress with large sleeves which ended at her forearns and had very elaborately decorated bosom with golden elements and a marvellous square neckline. She loved it. She bought a lot of hair decorations with it and decided to do her hair in a nice Renaissance-style way, to plait it a lot and since it was long, thick and shiny, to let it fall on her back but to decorate it in such a way that it would be a pleasure for her husband-to-be to look at her. She also wanted a silver fabric for her gown, but they didn't have it. She had to make arrangements and to have it ordered (they said it would come from France). She also bought some quills, inks, parchment, clear notebooks.

"Oh, look, it's Professor Uí Bríain kids!" Squeaked Molly Weasley and the whole red-haired bunch turned around.

"Cool!" George and Fred smiled.

"Good morning, Professor." Percy said. The twins were sending him up behind his back.

Sinéad smiled: "Good morning, children, and to you too, Molly."

"Will you return to Hogwarts?" Ginny asked, she loved Sinéad's subject very much.

"Of course I will, Ginny."

"My dear, have you heard what happened at the Quidditch World Cup?" Whispered Molly when she and the Hogwarts' teacher were alone.

"No, what?" Sinéad asked with anxiety.

"There has been the dark mark, a murder, and the Death Eaters riot." Molly whispered. Sinéad got pale and dropped her packages.

"Death Eaters– all of them?" She whispered.

"Who knows, dear, we didn't count them." Molly stood with her arms akimbo.

"What did they do?" Sinéad whispered.

"Oh, the stuff they usually do, dear, fire-raising, fear-spreadding, killing, kidnapping…" Molly shrugged her shoulders but it didn't annoy her to be the well of knowledge for the innocent Hogwarts teacher, she actually took pride in it. Sinéad sweated and trembled. Was Severus with them? Were there some criminal sins behind his calm pale face he usually showed at home?

"I've got the Daily Prophet here with the attack, you can keep it if you like, it's outdated anyway," Molly smiled and gave Sinéad the paper.

"Thank you, Molly."

"Nothing, dear," she smiled and turned away to go with all the other Weasleys.

"Wait, could you tell me where could I buy some yarns?"

"Yarns, dear?"

"For my loom."

"Loom, dear?"

"Loom, for making fabric."

"Can you actually make fabric from yarns? How?" Molly was interested. It was something for her DIY skills and it promised to save them some money on clothes, so she was indeed interested very much.

"I could sometimes pop in perhaps, I would bring it with me," Sinéad smiled.

"Wow hold on, the school year begins tomorrow!" Molly quacked. "Unless you wouldn't like to pop in now, dear, we're just going home. I think I have the strudel ready."

"I'd love to, Molly." She smiled and joined them. Her afternoon visit was actually extended even for dinner. Harry was there too, so Molly couldn't stop babbling about how many guests she had – but it gave her great pleasure again. She was over the moon because of Sinéad's weaving machine, and Sinéad taught her how to use it with pleasure. Mr. Weasley greeted her with the same warmth as the rest of his family and Sinéad really, really liked them very much. At one moment, she took him by his arm aside and whispered:

"Arthur, I would like to ask your help with something really confidential, may I?"

"Go on," he pressed his lips together, but didn't hesitate nor back up.

"I've got a little muggle motorbike bewitched by magic but it makes too much damn noise when I ride it– would you mind looking at it a little?"

"Bewitched motorbike?" Arthur's eyes sparkled, but he managed to keep an official tone: "I am afraid it is against the Ministry's laws to keep a bewitched muggle artefact. I must–"

"Come on, Arthur, I've got it from Dumbledore," she smiled and looked at him with her beautiful eyes.

"Well, uhm, I guess I could look at it, if it belongs to Dumbledore, I mean, there shouldn't be any faulty motorbikes flying in the air, should there?" He said, but Sinéad could tell that he was looking forward to seeing the motorbike as a five year boy does to see Santa Claus. She chuckled. Arthur was a good man. And Molly a perfect wife for him. She envied them their happy married life together, especially now, when she had a little tiny doubt gnawing inside her – what if Severus was there with them? What if he killed someone? What crimes has he done?

When Molly served dinner, Arthur was still fully busy with the motorbike. Sinéad was sorry to keep him from the meal for so long.

"No worries, dear, Arthur would go crazy even about a simple muggle ring." Molly said and Harry burst out laughing.

"That's a pretty green ring you are wearing, Miss Uí Bríain," Ginny said.

"Thank you, I am to be a wife soon." She couldn't help giving the secret away. She longed to tell someone. She was sick of living in secrecy with Severus. Suddenly she wanted everybody to know.

"Oh! I love weddings!" Molly cried and Ginny nodded.

"Congratulations!" Harry shook her hand cordially and Ron smiled.

"Can we be your bridesmaids Professor?" The twins asked jokingly and put on their heads a piece of fabric as if mimicking a veil.

"I don't think my groom could stand so much of good humour, lads." She laughed.

"And whom?" Molly was anxious to know. "Whom are you marrying?"

"Oh! That's a secret!" Sinéad winked and couldn't resist being hugged by the twins, one from each side.

"Come ooon–"

"Professor!"

"We won't tell him anything–"

"He might not as well know that he's getting married–"

"Let us guard the secret–"

"But we must know whom it is!"

"I would rather give Mrs. Norris to Fang to guard, than my secret to you two!" She cried and tears of laughter streamed down her cheeks. She was so happy, so overwhelmed with happiness. Harry was laughing too. After dinner, when she was about to go home, she took him aside.

"I see a certain tension in you, Harry. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, ma'am." He said. "Alright. My scar just hurts me too much, that's all."

"The scar that's connected with You-Know-Whom? Curious." Said she. "Have you heard from Sirius? – Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, Potter, I'm as well acquainted with him as you are!"

"Well wait – are you getting married to Sirius!"

"Heaven forbid no!" She laughed. "He would have some doggy manners I suppose!"

Harry laughed again, she gently pat his head and bade him goodbye. Arthur mended her motorbike and she managed to foist some galleons on him, although he did his best to oppose to such payment.

"Your family needs your apt hands, Arthur." She told him and he reluctantly took the gold coins from her. They all waved to the ceasing light of the motorbike. Then Molly realised Sinéad had left her loom at her place. When she wanted to put it aside for Errol to deliver to Hogwarts, she spotted a piece of parchment:

There must be some ways for an old master to pave for his apprentice. Use it well, Molly.

Molly sighed and smiled: "Whomever gets her, he will be richer than if he had a gold brick under his pillow." She said.

"Where've you been?" Severus asked grumpily when she got home, and continued reading his book.

"With the Weasleys." She said. He smirked spitefully behind his book.

"Doesn't your arm hurt recently?" She asked, putting down her packages she brought. He put down his book and looked at her with astonishment in his face.

"Whom did you meet?!" He asked sharply.

"Potter said his scar hurt him recently." She said. "So I was curious if it functions both sides."

"Potter's exaggerating." He murmured.

"Just for you to know, I had a great time with them, really, I did." She said. "Much better than I have had with you," she wanted to say, but didn't. But she was sure he knew. He always did. He suddenly rose from his chair. He came near her and touched her jaw tenderly. He came so close to her their clothes touched slightly. She gave him a questioning look and shivered a little, never before did he stand so close to her. She could smell his scent. He was taller than her so she felt captured. She couldn't guess anything from his expressionless face. He had never touched her like that before, nor looked at her like that before. She was afraid of what would be coming next.

"You are… So beautiful." He murmured and tucked his hand in her hair. She put her hand on his forearm and kept looking questioningly into his face.

"Thanks to Lupin and the Weasleys now I realised I never said anything nice to you." Severus said sadly and looked at his fiancée, who now looked at him completely puzzled and stunned. "I never told you how talented you were…" He softly kissed her on her lips.

"How kind you were…" Another kiss.

"How joyful you were…" Another.

"How brave you were…"

She hugged him tight and a tear or two dropped slowly from her thick eyelashes. He still held her in his arms, looking into her green eyes.

"I love your eyes…" He whispered and stroke her hair gently. She kissed him fiercely and pressed herself against his body. As she was kissing him more and more, he began to kiss her too. When she found herself on the sofa with Severus bent above her, she whispered: "I'm scared."

"There's nothing to be scared of." He said softly, seating himself at the edge. "We'll go to Hogwarts tomorrow… And you'll be safe. Everything will be okay."

"But I'm scared of our married life together, Severus." This was the truest utterance she ever told.

From this moment on, they continued in sleeping in each others' arms every night. From that time on, Severus was an entirely different person when he was alone with her. He was attentive, and corteous. He gave her his odd looks no more and although he didn't dare to confess to her absolutely everything, he wasn't cold and wry anymore. He was just silent. They sat next to each other at the Great Hall, they took strolls together. It was mostly her who talked. She told him stories from her childhood, she told him about their tribe so much he almost wished to meet them again and confess how he liked them. She didn't mind his silence. She already knew him well. His eyes on her and his hand around her waist were usually enough. He was listening. He was thinking. He only spared her the usual conventional parts of the dialogue when someone just says: "Mhm." Or "Uhm." Or "Hmph." In fact, Severus never did many things that would be considered as usual. He never asked those rhaetorical questions like: "How was your day?" Instead, he really looked at her, he studied her and he paid attention to her gestures. After having examined her, he just asked: "Who fed you up today?" It wasn't rude. If Severus wanted to be rude, he wouldn't ask her at all. Sinéad just had to get used to that manner of his. She needed to learn to understand him. As much as Severus was learning to respect some other person than himself, she was learning to understand such a way of attention. She even thought she got a little bit more sarcastic because of him, and he just thought he got a little bit more kind because of her. Once when they were walking the corridors of the castle, Peeves showed up and wanted to throw old bits of chalk at Sinéad. Severus got instinctively in front of her, protecting her with himself and with one wave of his wand he drove the poltergeist away. Sinéad suddenly realised she was having a bloody good time with him. She felt great, she felt more than great. She felt happy, and safe, and relaxed with him. Days passed one by one, and both of them accepted their new role well. He learnt not to bring her flowers because she always cried because of such a violence on nature. She learnt he liked to avoid talking to her whenever he was grumpy, and she learnt not to fret because of it. They were like a pair of OAP's, living together peacefully but missing any further romantic actions than light hugs and kisses. And she began to hate this fact after some time. As time went by, she wanted to proceed further, but she was still well aware of the night when she told Severus to stop. Was he so polite that he didn't dare to take the next step during those few months? Or had he lost his interest in her? She didn't know. She wanted to talk about it, but she didn't know how. When they went to Dumbledore, after the welcome dinner of the guest schools, Sinéad thought hard about their current situation in the castle. They agreed on making their engagement a secret (mostly because Severus wished it so), so only the members of the staff were to know. They weren't to be seen together on the corridors and were to behave in the most common manner to each other. And this was another thing that worried her very much. How was their married life to flourish if they had to pretend they didn't know each other and that their bedrooms and offices were to remain separate? She feared it will be inclined to shatter. And she was determined to make it work.

"Ah, Severus, Sinéad, here you are." Dumbledore greeted them. His office was full of people this time. There was a huge tall woman with a bob and a soft smile, Hagrid glancing at her all the time. And there was also a man in a white coat, with a beard of grayish hair and awfully yellow teeth.

"Nice to see you again, Severus!" He grinned, however, her fiancée had the face of a sick person who is about to vomit. He couldn't do better than to lightly shake his hand.

"Oh, Mistress!" Karkaroff grinned again, swiftly took her right hand and kissed it passionately.

"When I was setting up for this journey, I didn't even hope to find here as beautiful lady as you are, Madam!" He said, his dark eyes glittering with the sudden feeling of passion and lust. She turned red, withdrew her hand and made him a small curtsy.

"It is my pleasure to have you here, Headmaster." She said softly, but it was only out of politeness she said it. She didn't like the man a bit. Severus was as pale as the moon.

"I'm glad for our mutual feelings here, Professors." Dumbledore said and stepped forward. "This year will indeed be difficult. For those who haven't done so yet, please welcome Professor Moody, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher!"

"Pleasure." Murmured Moody at Sinéad and Severus and she made a small curtsy again. Minerva and Hagrid started clapping, but ceased immediately when they saw no one joined the applause. The atmosphere was tense.

"This year, as I said, will be difficult. Three champions will be selected to represent our schools in life-endangering tasks. It can't be helped. However, we must make sure that the rest of the students will stay absolutely safe."

Everybody nodded.

"We mustn't let Potter compete." Said Sinéad.

"No worries, Professor," Dumbledore said, "Harry Potter will stay out of danger this year, hopefully. No person younger than sixteen can put his name to the Goblet of Fire."

"Do you think he would be able to resist his adventurous temptations?" Sinéad asked. "That boy is a trouble-maker. Not by his own fault of course, but still…"

"I assure you, ma'am, nothing will happen to the boy when I'm here." Moody smirked and turned his weird blue eye directly at her. She had a feeling that he was stripping her nude in his imagination. Severus clenched his fists.

"We shall have a meeting tomorrow where we discuss the integration of the visiting students into our classes." Dumbledore said and all the teachers nodded again.

"And one more thing," Dumbledore winked, smiling, "it appears that we shall have a wedding to attend to this year."

All the teachers began to whisper with excitement. Sinéad blushed and Severus started pretending he weren't there.

"Who's wedding, Albus?" Minerva asked.

"Professors Snape and Uí Bríain decided to share their fates together. We shall all wish them health, good fortune and prosperity."

"Oh!" Minerva and Madame Pomfrey began clapping ferociously. Snape still pretended he wasn't there and Sinéad started to smile and shake hands with the well-wishers. Karkaroff's smile froze on his lips and he looked greatly disturbed. Moody smirked, had a gulp from his bottle and turned away. Snape and Karkaroff now tried to kill one another with their glances full of hatred.

When they went out from Dumbledore's office later in the afternoon, Sinéad asked Karkaroff what was the matter with him, was he sick?

"When I heard thine fate is to be connected with that sinful man soon, I couldn't help being disturbed, my lady." Karkaroff smiled and his eyes glanced slyly.

"My husband-to-be a sinner? How come?" Sinéad cried, trying to sound oblivious and joyful, but she couldn't help worrying what gossip should she hear from the Durmstrang Headmaster.

"He remains loyal to the Dark Lord even until this day." He whispered and grinned, his awful yellow teeth showing.

"Oh, I don't believe you!" She exclaimed, but was anxious inside.

"Nothing matters more to me than the happiness of you, my lady," he smiled again, and kissed her hand again, holding it as they went. "I want to remain loyal to thee, my lady. Thine fair beauty struck me like a thunder from a clear blue sky. I want to be thine servant, so I pray thee, call off your engagement with that Devil's apprentice and be mine, I pray thee, be mine!"

"He is as well Devil's apprentice as you, Karkaroff!" Moody growled from behind a column and hobbled towards them. Karkaroff's smile froze on his lips and he let go of her hand.

"I don't know what you are talking about Mad Eye!" He spat.

"I guess I would have to refresh your memory a little!" He growled again and smirked at Sinéad who stood astonished and didn't know what to do.

"They both are ex-Death Eaters and who knows, if the Dark Lord returns, if they wouldn't be again at his side?!" Moody cried. "One is as dark and sinful as the other!"

"That's a lie!" Karkaroff cried, his foreign accent resonating in his speech as he was getting upset. "I regret fully my past connection with the Dark Lord my lady and wouldn't wish to ever serve him again!"

"D'ye wanna lie?!" Boomed Moody and ran after Karkaroff, whom chose to escape quickly. "YOU WANNA LIE?!"

Sinéad giggled and went to mind her own business. She needed to get her classes' schedule ready. She went to her chamber and shut the door noisily after her. No men. No men at all. She was sick and tired of them. She leaned at the door and breathed out, sighed. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Sinéad?" She heard Severus' voice.

"Go away," she said, "I don't want to see you now."

He lowered his voice: "Has something happened?"

"No." She said, but her tone wasn't convincing. "I just don't want to see any men now."

"What happened between you and Karkaroff?"

"He hunts me from the moment he saw me."

"But that was only a few hours ago. How can that be disturbing for you?"

"I hate him." Sinéad said, not knowing why. "He's disgusting."

"I see." Severus turned away from the door towards which he was whispering. "I'll see him and talk to him."

"Severus?" She opened the door with a thrust and he turned around with his eyebrows raised.

"Don't hurt him." She said with big worries.

"As always." He smirked and went away. As he went, he opened his palm and a little parchment bird flew in front of Sinéad's face. She snatched it and quickly returned.

It said: I'll be at your door at ten.

Nothing else. She was now looking forward. Interesting how her husband could drive her disgust away. She did like neither Moody nor Karkaroff, she could already tell that. She had a strong first impression sense. When Snape came, she was cheerful again. He barged into her room, fiercely grabbed her waist and kissed her passionately.

"I missed you. I missed you so much." He murmured into her thick hair, stroking it gently.

"You saw me this afternoon," she smiled and he smiled too.'

"That's not the same. I have to pretend I don't know you."

"Because of the students, I know. But why in front of the other teachers?"

"It's probably because of my dignity." He said. "I've always been like that you know."

"True what you say," she had to admit, "but you've always been wifeless you know. Times change."

He sat into her chair and thought about it, she could see that from his face.

"I still can't believe we are to be connected for eternity." He said after a while.

"Are you scared?" She asked him calmly and poured him a glass of pink gin.

He looked at her. For a moment she saw a flash of anger in his eyes. She was suddenly afraid what would he do.

"No." He said after a long while and had a sip from his glass. "I've done a bit more dangerous things than that." He winked and he gave a faint smile.

"Dear?"

"Yes?"

"Let's give up that awful house in Cokeworth. I think I can't stand it."

"It's quite decent for two months of living in the summer. Why should we get a new one?"

"I just can't stand it. It's hostile and shadowy and gloomy."

"A house is as you make it. It's your fault that you didn't make it any better."

"What? I had no idea where I was moving to. It could be a palace or it could be a hut."

"And what did you get?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Something between." She bit her lips because she didn't want to quarrel.

"I would like to ask you something." She said after five minutes of silence.

"Go on." He said and sipped from his goblet of wine.

"Were… Were you at the Quidditch Cup riots?"

Another sharp glance and a sip from his goblet.

"Who told you about the riots?"

She bit her lip again: "Molly Weasley."

He took her arm: "Look, there's nothing for you to worry about. Everything is fine."

Tears welled from her eyes: "Severus! Can't you tell me?! Do you have to hide behind the words all the time?"

"Why do you need to know?" He hissed. "To judge me?!"

"I can't– I can't stand up for you if you don't tell me!" She cried. He stared, stunned.

"Would you– Would you really stand up for me if I told you?"

"Of course I would!" She sobbed. "What do you think marriage is for? The two people have to stand up for each other always."

"I know, but still… Standing up for me would bring you only trouble."

"Let it bring what it brings." She said, wiping her eyes, "I will face the consequences. If they tell me that my husband is a criminal and that I would have to go to Azkaban for him, I would."

He stared at her: "You would…"

He hugged her tightly and whispered: "Don't cry, my love. Until this day I considered myself a brave man. But, you see, you are thousand times more brave than I would ever be. I don't deserve you."

"So were you there?"

"I'll tell you everything."

 _Dear Padfoot,_

 _I am terribly sorry for not writing to you for so long – there was a lot to do. I returned to my job, although there's a big fuss around now, I'm sure your godson will tell you more. I miss you, Padfoot, since my fiancée is not of the funnier sort of people like you are. Have I told you about my fiancée? He asked me to marry him, naturally I couldn't say no, I found a great liking for him in myself. If you wonder whom that might be, remember your school years, and the one you most hated back then. I'm awfully sorry, Padfoot – my purpose was entirely selfish, I have to admit that, and I didn't intend to harm you anyhow. I am sorry for the sad history you two share, and let me express my most sincere wish that, when we meet again, you won't bear me a grudge, I beg you._

 _If only I could visit you, wherever you are! I wished to be more independent, so Dumbledore gave me a motorbike to ride. It flies and I am so happy to have it, finally I can go to wherever I want to. The school year just started and there will surely be a lot to do. How's your featherish pet? I hope you're both well. Do you have enough food? Shall I send you something? I think I will send you something. Poor pup, you're too polite to admit you're starving. I'm definitely sending something, I wish I could have sent you the whole kitchen!_

 _I'm also waiting for a fabric for my ball gown to arrive, I ordered it, can you believe that? I actually ordered something which has to come all the way from France! I'm gradually catching up with the knowledge you all here have, you know how hopeless I was! Every evening I'm bringing home books from the library and I read. Yesterday I found out where France was. It's so far away! How do you think the fabric will arrive? Do you think an owl will bring it? Poor owl, I hope it's not too heavy! Do you think it could lose it…? My fiancée doesn't tell me anything about the wizarding world so I have to educate myself. I wonder why did it take me so long to start, perhaps I thought that after one year spent with you I'll go back home? Haha! Do you believe there have been thirty-two Ministers for Magic already? Do you think I'll ever meet the Minister for Magic? I'm doing my best, oh, dear Padfoot, if only you're there! You would check me every evening what I learnt. I feel so lonely with my silly head. Now I pity poor Remus that I was so mean to him. Don't you know what he's doing?_

 _One last thing, could you please tell me what do you know about Durmstrang Headmaster?_

 _Thanks a lot. Write soon._

 _S._

After a fourtnight that she sent her letter, a message arrived. A brown owl brought it in the morning into the Great Hall. She was excited, she never got anything by the post. Snape was casting side glances as she opened her letter.

 _Padfoot told me. Wait for me in your chamber at eight at night. Don't worry, everything will be okay. RJL_

"Whom is the letter from?" Asked Snape, pretending not to be curious at all.

"I don't know." She said, blushed slightly because of her lie and folded the letter, placing it behind the edging of the bosom part of her dress.

"If you tell me it's from Karkaroff," he began, growling threateningly.

"It's not from Karkaroff." She said firmly.

"You said you didn't know." Said he.

"I did." She said, determined to keep the secret. This was the first time she had a secret. The feeling was good. It was the feeling of power. She knew she could now do everything using that secret. She could make up something great. She could say that a Persian prince had written to rescue her from such an emotionally unattached fiancée. She could make Snape jealous. She could do whatever she pleased with him by having that secret. She couldn't even concentrate that day. She was trembling and forgetting her sentences. Several students had asked her if she was okay. She just smiled and nodded. In the evening, she stood in her room at quarter to six. She couldn't wait any longer. She was pacing to and fro. At six sharp, the flames of her fireplace got green. She cried in surprise. Suddenly the fireplace exploded. Or at least she thought it exploded. She shrieked and the blast knocked her on the ground.

"I should've told you to keep away from the fireplace." Smiled Lupin as he was stepping out from the fireplace. Sinéad's face and hair were all black from the soot. He went into her bathroom, wetted a handkerchief and started gently wiping her face from the dirt. She was so astonished she couldn't say a word.

"Ho-How did you– When did you–"

"Floo." He explained. "You haven't travelled with Floo powder before?"

"No…" She stared at him, her hair was almost black from the soot. She didn't know if she is to be happy or sad, angry or scared that Severus could find them there together.

"Sirius told me there was something wrong with you, Sinéad." He smiled at her kindly.

"Well, uhm, I, I just felt lonely." She said, guilty that Lupin had to travel all the way just because of her loneliness.

"I don't know if I congratulated you on the marriage you're about to enter." He smiled and really meant it.

"I'm not sure if there's something to praise." She said with her head bent down.

"Don't tell me you've changed your mind?" Lupin winked at her. She looked him in the eye and smiled widely. It was as in the old times, Lupin and her fooling around, laughing, mimicking, eyebrow-raising. She felt happy again. After a long time, she felt completely happy. She hugged him tightly.

"I missed you." She whispered, burying her face into his chest. He hugged her too, patting her head gently.

"I missed you too." He said, smelling the sweet scent of her hair.

"I don't know what I want, Remus." She said. "When I'm with Severus, I feel happy, but I feel there's something missing. Is it passion? Is it lust? Is it physical contact? Is it understanding, sharing? I don't know."

"Sometimes we're not entitled to all the answers." He whispered and kissed her on her lips. He couldn't help himself anymore. She was so beautiful. And he was so deeply in love with her.

"I tried to keep away from you…"

"Because I knew…"

"He had you booked…"

"But if you don't want him…"

While he was saying that, he was giving her soft but wild and passionate kisses on her lips, and her cheeks, even on her eyelids. She felt so wild. So excited. She would now break her vow to Snape. She would now break everything. The short excited kisses soon turned into longer, deeper ones. She didn't want to be a chaste Renaissance maiden anymore. His hand was travelling up and down her spine, tugging at her long hair, roaming around her waist. She felt a strange sensation and didn't know what was happening. She only knew that the thing she was scared of with Severus was what she wanted now with Remus. She didn't understand her feelings and felt like a traitor. When Remus' hands started directing her gently to her bed, she took his wrists slowly and removed them from her waistline.

"Remus, I…" She was panting heavily and blushing. "I don't know, I… I… I… Look, Remus, I'm not a half-player. I need to be… sure that I want to break my vow to Severus and to be with you. But I can't mess with you both. I'm so sorry, Remus!" She cried and tears were in her eyes again, for another time during those lonely days. She sat on her bed and patted the cover next to her so that Remus could sit as well.

"I don't know what I want, Remus." She said simply. "Until now, I thought I wanted Severus, for all what he'd done for me. But, you know, there are too many obstacles. He's not an easy man to be with, Remus. And I'm not that strong, I think, Remus. I'm only saying how strong would I be, but I'm not. Not yet."

"I see." Remus said, with an easy smile on his lips. He didn't blame her. Poor girl. She was so confused now. "I understand it is hard to accept his problematic past."

"Not really," she said, playing with a strand of her hair. "Everyone has a certain moments they're not proud of. The present scares me more, Remus."

The man nodded and looked into the fire, which had golden orange flames again. "Yes, the riots. The Death Eaters are getting nervous, you see, Sinéad."

"Why? What is happening?" She asked, puzzled.

"Look," Lupin's grayish blue eyes looked straight at her. "I'm telling you only because I love you. I love you very much, Sinéad, and I don't know what will happen to you if you marry him. I have to tell you. They're losing their peace. Something is in the air. This is strictly confidential. In the underground of our world where I find myself now due to Dumbledore's reasons– This is unimportant for you and I shouldn't really tell you– The werewolves are gathering according to You-Know-Who's orders. They think he might need them again. They are organizing themselves into groups according to whom is willing to serve him and who not. And according to what I heard from Kingsley Shacklebolt– do you know Kingsley? A marvellous guy, remarkable– the Dark Marks at the forearms of Death Eaters are itching. He's returning, Sinéad, returning!"

She got completely pale: "Do you– Do you think he'll want Severus to be his follower again?"

"Surely he will." Lupin nodded. "Snape was a good Death Eater."

"What do I do?!" She wailed and hid her face into her palms.

"You don't have to marry him, you know." Lupin looked at her and smiled weakly. "You could go with me. I wouldn't mind to have Snivellus' girl if it meant I stole her from him."

"Oh, Remus, I can't do that." She said, thinking about Severus' painful feelings when James won Lily. "I couldn't let myself be stolen. I will go away only if– if he does something really mean–"

"Like what, to have you killed?" Lupin smirked, but it made her only feel worse.

"Just remember," he whispered, looking straight at her, "Snape must return to him, or he'll have him murdered. And you with him. And if Snape returns to him, that means you'll have to be Death Eater's good wife and'll have to go with him. It's Voldemort or death."

"Oh Remus!" She cried again, "what did I do to deserve such fate?"

"You could go with me." He repeated his offer.

"I can't, Remus. I would have to break my bond first." She said. "Besides… It is your disease I would have to cope with anyway."

"I could help you to cope with it," Lupin insisted, "it's not so fatal as you might think…"

"Jaysus!" She cried and fell into his lap, letting herself be patted by his attentive hands. "Don't you have some good guys with whom I could fall in love? It's either you, or Snape, or Karkaroff…"

"Beware of Karkaroff." Lupin said sharply. "This is what Padfoot wanted me to tell you. Listen." He took her face into his palms, looking her into her green sparkling eyes again. "Snivellus might be a Death Eater, but he's a damn clever one at least. Karkaroff is the same sort of people, but he has no brains. He's a dumbass, and a coward. Don't mess with him, he would rather run away than to defend you. Snivellus at least knows how to use his wand. When he falls as a Death Eater, it is the same as if Dumbledore fell as a Headmaster. He's a sassy bastard who's wittier than most of our prominent wizards. But with him, you'd be constantly surrounded by evil, Sinéad, think about it."


	17. Finally together!

**17**

 **Finally Together**

He was raging. He was casting random things into the fire. The werewolf was with her. He kissed her so many times, he was trying to persuade her to change her mind. He felt a strong desire to go to her, and to banish her from her friends, and to order her to be obedient to his will and principles. But he repressed himself. No. She must find the way herself. She must find her way to him. But alas! She was nearly there, but at the last second, she was diverted by Lupin. That's exactly how it was last time. No! He can't just stand there, and do nothing. He must prevent her to be diverted. He delved into her mind again. What was it that she really seeked? What she really wanted? What was the last fragment that would make her to be his entirely?

"HARRY POTTER!"

A deafening silence.

"No…" Sinéad whispered, panicking. "That must not be true!"

As Dumbledore lead the boy away, the teachers and Headmasters went with them. They were protesting and cursing Dumbledore, accusing him of foulplay. Sinéad went too. As she went through the corridors in a big haste, her vision suddenly became blurred. She stumbled. She didn't see the corridors now, she saw Lily, distinctly as she had seen her many times during the night.

"You must stop them!" She cried, trying to grisp Sinéad's shoulders. "He mustn't compete!"

"The others already tried to do so," Sinéad protested, "Crouch is unyielding."

 _"_ _YOU MUST!"_ Lily cried and vanished. It took her quite a big effort to appear even when the moon wasn't entirely visible, it was too early. Sinéad hurried into Dumbledore's office.

"Please, sir," she breathed out, "you mustn't let Potter compete!"

"Barty had his word, Sinéad." He said calmly.

"Since when does a Ministry officer matter more than one of your students?" Said SInéad.

"All the others, including me, think we should for the time being let him compete." Said Dumbledore.

"But sir," she protested, "how can you– we– protect him while he undergoes those dangerous tasks neither you nor I can foresee? I thought my role here is primarily to protect him."

"Indeed it is, and I'm glad you remember it." Dumbledore smiled. "There's a reason for it all, Sinéad, I believe. There must have happened something which determined the selection of the Goblet of fire."

"What if someone sneaked in?" She asked. "The castle is full of people, a third of them all I've never seen before. How comes that Voldemort couldn't be one of them? He certainly is the person who would want Harry dead in the tournament."

"Impossible." Dumbledore said. "Voldemort cannot have access to Hogwarts. And if you'll excuse me, I have to talk with the other Headmasters." He left his own office and Sinéad was therefore forced to leave too, greatly disturbed.

 _I need to talk to you_ were the only words Sinéad found at the piece of parchment which flew to her room after she finished the classes of the day. She immidiately recognized Snape's neat handwriting. She was afraid. Did he know Lupin and her were kissing? Did he want to punish her for that? In the evening, she hesitatingly went into the dungeons. She carried a torch, because the part of the dungeons where his room was was completely unlit. She walked carefully, looking behind every corner if he wasn't waiting there for her to cast a deadly curse for her infidelity. She heard dripping water and apart from that a complete silence. How could someone possibly like it?

"Come in." His voice sounded as she wanted to knock the door.

"I always forget how dark this part of the castle is." She shivered. "Do you truly like it here?"

"I do." He said with his deep charismatic voice. That was another thing that enchanted him about her. Any other person would ask: "It's hideous, how can you possibly like it down here?" But not her. She was only concerned about his well-being. Not her own.

"You have goosebumps, sit closer to the fire." He said in a manner he considered warm and friendly and offered her the most comfortable armchair available. She sank into it, looking at him with a great question-mark in her eyes.

"Fancy a cuppa?" He asked her, she nodded. He waved his wand and two cups with hot liquid in them appeared, together with a bunch of scones.

"I never noticed you liked scones?" She asked shyly. He nodded.

"I'm sorry!" She burst out at one moment. "I know you know I cheated with Lupin! You can have your justice, I am willing to accept my consequences."

He put his warm hand on her knee. He knew he had to force himself to be mild for the sake of their marriage. He wondered, he was unsure if he would have been much more aggressive were it another case and not the matter of her loyalty which was now hanging in the balance? Probably, he would. However, now he had to win it in his favour. So he forced himself to be nice.

"You didn't cheat. It was Lupin who started it."

"But I shouldn't have succumbed. I should have slapped him as all the good wives do when a stranger touches their waist."

"But eventually you did not succumb." He said reassuringly. "And you came to me when I called you. There's no justice to be wanted by me."

She felt an immense gratitude. He surely was a remarkable man, having saved her so many times and not being cross with her once, she was so grateful. She wondered what was it that directed her away from him. He was faultless.

"There have been some good points made by Lupin," he continued, "it would be for the best if you avoided Karkaroff as much as you can. Not because he's a Death Eater, but because he's an arsehole. Nothing good would await you if you ever promised him anything."

"I won't." She swore. She was now ready to promise Snape anything because of her gratitude towards him. "He's not a worthy man."

"Concerning the Dark Mark, the werewolf was true as well. It is becoming stronger. And many of them are panicking. Many want to desert. Because they know they would be punished by the Dark Lord because they renounced him at the first place."

"Is Karkaroff of that sort of people?"

"I believe he would renounce anyone should it be convenient."

"And you? Have you renounced You-Know-Whom?"

"Look," he took her hands and knelt in front of her on the carpet, his sad black eyes looking straight into hers. "we've made up our minds. We want to be married. So it's high time I told you absolutely everything. But remember I'm putting my head and my entire life into your hands."

"I'll remember that always." She said softly.

"And after I tell you, I'll have to start teaching you Occlumency."

"What's Occlumency?"

"That's closing your mind before any other Occlumens invades it."

"You-Know-Whom?"

"Yes."

"I'll gladly do everything you tell me, Severus."

"From now on, I'm resuming to work as a spy for Dumbledore. Fourteen years ago, when I realised Lily was in danger, I deserted the Dark Lord and became loyal to Dumbledore exchanging for her safety. I even asked the Dark Lord to spare her and now in front of you I admit it was for entirely selfish reasons. However, despite all the precautions, she was murdered. I continued to protect her legacy, young Potter, and indeed the Dark Lord wants his head. I can't even be loyal to the Dark Lord, you see, because of my duty to Lily. But the Dark Lord knows nothing of my true intentions and he must remain ignorant, or he kills me instantly. I am the only hope of Potter, because the Dark Lord trusts me with his top secret information. He thinks I'm spying on Dumbledore. That's what everyone thinks, that I'm still a Death Eater. But it is not so, and I mustn't let anybody know, for this is the force that creates the Dark Lord's belief. He mustn't doubt me. But I'm Dumbledore's entirely. With an exchange for Lily's safety, and now, for yours. Lupin wanted you to judge who's better. Here's for you to judge."

She sat, astonished. She didn't have a clue about how great Severus really was. That he was more intelligent than anybody. He fought not for Good nor Evil, he fought for Love and Hope that he'll be a better man and that he shall be purified of his sins.

"And one more thing." He added. "It was me who brought to the Dark Lord the initial message that there is to be a boy whom is destined to kill him. But I didn't have any idea that it would be her son! This is something that I shall pity until the rest of my days."

"It is our choices that determine whom we are, not our past." She said softly, touching very gently his cheek. "You're the bravest man of all, Severus. I'll make my vow to you."

He smiled: "Not tonight. Things aren't ready."

"I meant the Unbreakable Vow." She said plainly.

"About what?" He was gazing at her, expressionless.

"That I shall never tell anyone the details you've just expounded to me."

"How do you know what the Unbreakable Vow is?" He asked.

"From the books. I've been studying the magic world since we arrived into Hogwarts." She blushed.

"Why were you studying?" He asked. "You can always ask me."

"I guess I wanted to be independent from you…" She blushed. "Not having to ask you something every two seconds like a five year old kid." She blushed again. "I wanted to be your support, not your burden."

He hugged her tenderly: "You're never a burden." He gently lifted her chin so her hesitating eyes looked into his black ones. He gave her a long, soft kiss, hugging her tight. She surrendered, hugging him back and returning the kisses with the same passion as he gave them. She could hear his voice saying: "I love you, Sin, I love you…" but his utterances were almost immediately muffled by her kisses. He ran his fingers through her hair and enjoyed the smooth sensation. Before any of them could notice how, they ended up in Severus' bed. All the taboos vanished. She wasn't shy being suddenly undressed, she didn't know why. It felt completely natural. Nor was she surprised by his sudden action, by the vivacity with which he slided her dress from her curvy figure and with which he shedded his.

"I wanted this for so long…" She could hear his muffled voice.

He enjoyed every curve of her body with his long fingers and kisses. She quietly moaned his name. They did it. They made out. They made love. That was it.

"Oh, Sin!" He looked her in her emerald eyes, holding her tight and covering them both with the sheets. She closed her eyes and he murmured into her thick hair: "You're my everything. You're my whole world. I can't live without you… I love you so much, Sin… Don't go anywhere…"

"I won't leave you, Sev, I won't leave you…" She whispered and hugged him more tightly.

He thought he wasn't going to have the same opinion of her again. Now that they tasted fully the power of love. When he next saw her in the corridors, with her Renaissance-style plaited hair, in her beautiful long green dress, with her kind smile on, he had to remember the previous evening when they were entirely nude with no sense of dignity. He remembered her breasts in particular. They fascinated him. She was talking with Potter.

"Harry, I need to tell you something." She grabbed his coat and pulled him aside from the mob of students.

"Professor?" Harry said.

"You can't compete!" She whispered, their green eyes meeting. "It's too dangerous!"

"Professor, I can't say that!" Harry told her. "I've already been chosen according the rules!"

"Well according the rules you were supposed to think over your decision carefully before you placed your name into the goblet." She smirked sarcastically, Harry was trying to say something, but she silenced him with a gesture of her hand.

"Listen. Your mother and father gave their lives so that you could live. I don't think hazarding in the tournament is a safe way to spend your fourth year in Hogwarts Harry."

"But professor, I was already told I had to compete!" Harry protested.

"There must be a way, Harry. What restrains you from not simply coming to do the first task? You'd only be disqualified. what would it matter? There's Diggory, after all."

"Professor?" Snape had his usual obscure manner of speaking and expressionless face. "Could I talk to you for a while, perhaps?"

"Indeed," she smiled and turned back to Harry, "do you understand it now, Harry?"

"Sure thing," he said, not knowing what to do, "see you on the lesson!"

She waved, smiling. She turned to Severus, her smile fading away. She looked him in his eyes questioningly again. He took her hand and hurried into an empty classroom. His dark black eyes looked straight at her and she had a feeling she could drown in them.

"Yesterday was the best day of my life." He said, touching her chin again.

"Don't say that, Severus." She said. "I might think you don't care of any other moments than those of physical pleasure."

"No, you don't understand," he hastily grasped her arm, turning down his voice to a mere whisper, "I realised what does it mean to be truly together. After those months, I'm finally starting to have a sense of how serious this is."

She didn't know if she is to be glad or cross.

"Will I…" He began, then paused a little, "be on friendly terms with you tonight?"

"How can you ask so openly, Severus!" She yelled. "It's disrespectful, very disrespectful of me indeed." She turned around to go, but he grasped her hand once more.

"There's something I need to give you." He said.

She softened a little, because she was looking forward to a gift now. Plain, selfish woman! He put into her palm a tiny bottle of something.

"It's inevitable that you drank that." He said, looking at her.

"Why?" She said, her smile gone.

"Well, you see, I…" He started to prevaricate, "I don't think it would be wise to start a family now, with all the dark marks appearing and all the dark things happening."

"So I will sum it up for you if you kindly let me," she began sharply, hissing, attacking like an angry cat, "you would like to be on friendly terms with me as you call it, regardless of the fact how I feel about it, and now that you think it's wise not to have any children, you're giving me a prophylaxis and expect me to obediently drink it without a question! You're basically making me a potion addict at your own convenience!"

"Sinéad, no!" He tried to stop her from hurling the bottle on the stone ground. "Of course you can think about it, honey. But think quickly, because you have to take it until twelve hours' time, afterwards… it would be too late."

She gave him a look of fury, being really, really mad now and hating him beyond measure. With one violent throw, she uncorked the little bottle, drank its content with one gulp, threw the empty bottle violently on the floor, the glass shattering, and ran from the classroom. But, she made the Vow as she promised, although with bitter face. She always did everything she promised. That was an important part of her character. They met at Dumbledore's and she and Snape knelt in front of each other, entangled their hands and she promised never to tell his secret, that he was a spy, and she swore to claim that she doesn't know more of his actions than the others do. She was fully aware of the consequences if she ever broke the vow. Dumbledore also promised to wed them personally, and she was very happy about that. But she now stood for him, and was determined not to be shaken in her conviction. Now she believed that what he did was right.

"Welcome to the first class of Mythology in this year." Sinéad smiled kindly and opened her arms as if she wanted to embrace everybody in the class.

"Last year, as you remember, we learnt a lot of things about nature and its behaviour and basic natural elements. In very simplified terms, you all now know what to do and what not to do when you go camping." She smiled and a few students giggled.

"This year, we will focus on animals."

"But professor, we already have our Care for Magical Creatures class." Hermione said, without permission as always.

"I know, Hermione." Said she, and it was apparent from her voice that she didn't want to permit the students to make such comments. "But I suppose what Professor Hagrid teaches you is how to keep the creatures – how to feed them, how to stall them etc. But how many of you actually know how to know if an animal – or a creature, should you wish – is angry? Sad? Hungry? Happy? How many of you know?"

They stared at her, uncapable of speaking. Even Hermione.

"I suppose many of you are keeping various animals as pets. Have you ever concerned about your pets' emotions?"

All of them, including Harry and Hermione lowered their eyes and were feeling guilty.

"And, what is more, do you even know how to calm an animal that is stressed? Angry? Frightened?"

They all seemed more guilty. Neville raised his hand.

"Yes, Neville?" She asked him kindly.

"My frog keeps escaping all the time. And I would like to know why."

"Brilliant, Neville. We cannot really re-educate animals that haven't been educated first. And even if they were, some habits are just impossible to change. In other words, your frog cannot be educated about what is good and what is bad, but you could be educated about it. Does it make sense?"

They murmured in approval and nodded.

"So, now I'm about to give you an assignment till the rest of the winter term: you are to observe closely the behaviour of your pet or of any other animal or creature you chose. You will describe it's likes and dislikes, it's habits and vice, it's favourite activities, it's favourite activities with particular attention to it's different moods and their demonstration."

The students started muttering in disapproval. First lesson and such an assignment!

"What if we don't have any pets?" Asked Seamus.

"Then you'll have to ask Professor Hagrid for cooperation, if there was a harmless magical creature you could take care of. But please, don't choose Flobberworms." She said and a few students giggled again. "'Eating and laying still all day' won't win you a good mark! Now, is there someone who has a pet that doesn't like certain activities?"

"I have a cat," Parvati Patil raised her hand, "she's awful. She hates caressing and I can't absolutely lift her into the air."

"I see." Said Sinéad with a smile. "Are there more cat-keepers?"

Hermione raised her hand.

"Good. What are typical characteristic features of a cat?" She turned to the blackboard and began writing.

"It's independent." Hermione said. Sinéad scribbled the word independent.

"Great! And what does it mean?" Sinéad said encouragingly.

"Well, it doesn't need me to mind it's own business." Summed up Parvati.

"Well done Parvati. There are instances when it needs you and when it doesn't. Which relates to petting too. There are instances when it doesn't want to be stroked. Do you think your problem could be related to this issue Parvati? Don't you think you should watch your cat and notice when it wants to be left alone? Don't you think that you want to caress it when it isn't in the mood?"

Parvati nodded, realising hard.

"And this is exactly what I want all of you to do. It is very easy to observe what you think the animal needs, but it is difficult to know what it actually needs. Get your notebooks ready, we shall resume in classification of different states of mind and ascribing the displays of these to the distinct parts of animal body."

"I summoned you here because there's something important to be said." Snape said in his usual frightening manner to his Slytherin students. All of them were in the Slytherin Common Room, full of black marble, leather couches, and green light. It was dark and cold. All the sofas were pushed towards the walls so there was enough space for the professor to pace to and fro.

"As many of you know," he continued, following Malfoy's scorning smirk, "there is to be an event at Christmas time."

"What event, professor?" Malfoy asked.

"The Yule Ball, Mr. Malfoy." Answered Snape coldly.

"You can't be telling us that we are supposed to dance there, can you?" Malfoy shouted, smirking.

"Silence!" Boomed Snape and Malfoy shrank a little, getting quiet.

"Although it's totally under my level of competency, I will demonstrate to you how not to embarass yourselves before the eyes of the whole school and the visiting schools. Remember we have to be better than anyone else." Snape said, beckoning with his hand. Sinéad in her short fluffy party dress emerged from the shadows. She looked really sexy in this moment. Snape didn't like the word, but it was the only word appropriate for this occassion. A few Slytherin students wolf-whistled.

"Silence!" He growled again, but extended his hand to her and held it tenderly.

"Did I just go blind or he smiled at her?" Malfoy hissed to his companions, but Snape's voice muffled him.

"Professor has been so kind as to agree to assist me." He took her into his arms, and she bended a little bit backwards with the upper part of her body, her waist firmly pressed to his. She looked over his left shoulder into the distance, and he firmly supported her left shoulder blade with his palm. Taking her right hand into his and extending their both hands in the level of their eyes, he told his students: "This is the basic position for dancing."

Mr. Filch played the gramophone in the corner of the common room and sweet tones of waltz filled the room. Snape and Sinéad began spinning around the room, exhibitioning a prime example of excellent waltz. Sinéad was a great dance partner, she did everything what Severus wanted her to do. She clung to him when he pressed her blade, she spinned when he swung her. She let her long long hair loose this time, so when they danced she swept the floor with the ends of it and when they spinned a giant red tail followed them furiously. When they ended, Sinéad resisted the strong desire to hug him and give him a kiss. The students looked stunned.

"I want to dance like that!" Millicent's posh voice sounded in the silent common room.

"Professor Uí Bríain was so kind even as to agree to teach you while I would be watching you carefully from aside." Snape said coldly.

"But I wanted to dance with you, professor!" Millicent said proudly again.

"Silence!" He had to silence them for the third time, and thanked heavens Sinéad was there to substitute him. He hated any physical contact with his students aside from physical punishments. Malfoy smirked again. That was why she chose the boy with a smile to dance with her. He pulled a long face as he had to endure her pelvis being pressed to his, and his royal hands touching her unworthy body. Perhaps he stamped her tiptoes on purpose then. But at that moment, she gave him the most precious dancing lesson of all.

"Madame! I pray thee, tarry a little!"

"For God's sake!" She hissed under her breath. She managed to avoid Karkaroff for so long. It was almost Christmas!

"I heard what an excellent dance had thee with Professor Snape and his students and I was wandering whether you could instruct me and my students a little?" He said, fires of lust in his devilish eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I am unfortunately fully engaged until Christmas." She said, smiled faintly and retraced her steps. He caught up with her.

"Professor, one tiny dancing session, you would have an opportunity to see our beautiful boat!" He told her, holding her hand.

"I'm truly sorry, it's not possible." She said, taking her hand back from his grip and running to the castle. She heard his quickened steps after her.

"Professor, you can't ignore me like that!" He called after her.

She ran, not knowing where to. She passed students, whom looked at her with surprise, she passed portraits and corridors, she passed tapestries and gobelines, statues and ghosts. Suddenly she found a broomstick closet and she sank inside, hoping Karkaroff didn't see the closing door.

"Professor? Where did you go?" She heard Karkaroff's voice.

"Go to hell!" She breathed out, pressing one of her ears onto the door if she heard him pacing or not.

"Professor?" She heard a voice behind her. She turned around frantically. It was Harry.

"Harry! Thank Godness it's not—"

"I know." The boy assured her with a smile and pushed a bucket towards her. "You wanna sit?"

"Sure," she smiled and turning it upside down, she sat on it.

"Whom are you hiding from, Harry?" She asked him with a kind smile which naturally returned to her face as the danger was gone.

"Uhm, you know the Daily Prophet reporter, Rita Skeeter–"

"Yeah? From her?"

"Yeah. She writes lies about me."

"I see." They shared the mutual compassion of outcasts. They were on a deserted island together. Harry could smell his teacher's body scent and hair and realised he had never been so close to her as he was now. He was staring directly at her breasts which were some fifteen inches away from his face. He blushed.

"Sorry professor."

"For what?"

"For sitting so close to you."

"Nonsense, Harry." She smiled and first since she got to Hogwarts, Harry had the sense he really, really liked his Mythology teacher. She ruthwas always so kind to him, to his friends and to Sirius too.

"Professor?"

"Yes Harry?"

"You know about Padfoot, do you?"

"Yes I do, Harry. I fed him many times last year. I'm sending him packets of food from time to time even now."

"He told me. Thank you. So kind of you. Why hadn't you told me the truth last year earlier? You knew it."

"I knew it, Harry, but there are some things in the family that need to be clarified eye to eye if you know what I mean."

"Totally." He said, smiling. She really liked Harry too. He was a nice boy.

"My Ladyyy!" She heard Karkaroff howling outside on the corridors, searching for her.

"Oh f*ck off!" She whispered and both of them laughed silently. "You have to forget I said that word Harry." She winked at him and both of them laughed again.

"Why does he want to find you?" Harry asked, smiling.

"The right question is why does he want lift up my skirts Harry." She winked at him and he blushed.

"I'm sorry." He said with a smile.

"It's ok, don't worry." She smiled back. Her white teeth shined. Her lips were rouge and pretty. Her figure was pretty, too.

"I can understand why he likes you so much." He said, smiling and blushing. "Everyone does in fact."

"Oh Harry, isn't there really anyone that would like me because of my personality?" She said, amused.

"Of course we do, I mean the majority of us likes you for whom you are." Harry blushed again.

"I'm deeply touched Harry." She said softly. "And maybe for you to know… Some people don't vanish from this world even when they're dead." She winked at him again.

"What do you mean?" He asked, puzzled.

"I know where to find your mother Harry!" She whispered, looking into his green eyes.

"Really? Where?" He asked, excited.

"She turned into the Spirit of the Moon." Sinéad said gravely. "You can find her every night in the sky. She's watching you you know."

"Can you get me to talk to her?" He asked. "I know you can, professor, please!"

"I cannot Harry," she said sadly. "in the Spirit world, there are some laws which cannot be violated. No, at any rate, no."

"Please!" He begged, tears in his eyes.

"I can't Harry." She said more firmly. "You can't imagine the consequences of it. Family members cannot be brought together, never Harry."

"But I don't–"

"Care of the consequences?" Finished Sinéad with her eyebrows rised. "Oh believe me Harry, you would if you knew what these were. Besides," she said, "this is way beyond our ordinary level of education here, Harry. I'm sorry, no. I just told you because your mother wanted me to ask you not to compete in the tournament."

"You know that it can't be," he said, greatly disappointed. "It's already decided."

"Think about it if you can." She said, smiling. After a while, she added: "Could you look if he's gone?"

"No way, what if Skeeter is there?" Harry opposed. "No. You look for me."

"No! Karkaroff as well might be there!" She hissed.

"So that's settled then."

"But how do we ever get away from here?" She said.

"I dunno."

"How about both of us looking? It's fair at least." She suggested and he nodded. What followed was a very curious scene for the reader to follow. Very very slowly, the door of the broomstick closet opened a crack. Harry's head slowly cropped up from behind the door. Not more, just his head. A second after, Sinéad's head emerged just above Harry's, her hair falling on the floor because there was no body under the head visible. It was the wood of the door which hid their bodies. Harry's head looked on the left whereas Sinéad's head looked on the right. She slowly turned her head to the left as well, so that both of them were now looking at the same side. And now she realised what stunned Harry so much that he didn't look right as he promised her to do in the closet. First the black shoes, peeping out from the long black cloak. Then the dark blue trousers and tightly buttoned coat above them, the cloak framing it all. And then the slightly curious expression of professor Severus Snape. Sinéad's face got now child-like and guilty, just as Harry's was.

"Playing hide-and-seek?" He asked ironically with his eyebrows rised. Both Sinéad and Harry blushed and stepped out from the cabinet. Sinéad shyly cleared her throat.

"Ehm, so now, Harry, off you go."

He didn't need to be told twice to dart out from the closet away to the Gryffindor house. Snape even didn't manage to be sarcasstic. He wanted to laugh. So he just accompanied her to her chamber, his eyebrows rised all the time and the corners of his mouth twitching.


	18. The Yule Ball

**18**

 **The Yule Ball**

The first task took place. She sat next to Severus on the teacher's stands and was squeezing his hand, she was so much worried for all the participants. When the first dragon appeared, she shrieked in horror.

"Jaysus! A dragon! They can't be letting them fight a dragon!"

Dumbledore, whom was sitting behind her, bended and quietly said into her ear: "I believe everything will be fine, Sinéad. And you should believe too."

"I don't believe! I don't!" She yelled and turned sharply towards the Headmaster. The Minister for Magic casted her a disapproving look. But she didn't care.

"Poor children! Poor kids!" She said weepily and Severus slapped her forearm gently to suggest that she were quiet.

"This is so cruel, so cruel..." She whispered and wiped her lids with the back of her hand.

"Are we really going to watch the kids fight for their lives and eat snacks?!" She burst out with anger after a while.

"Sinéad, be quiet." Minerva also bended to her, sitting next to Dumbledore. "It's just a game."

The red-haired teacher sat stunned, her eyes popped out slightly and her beautiful thick lips slightly opened into the "O" letter.

"Are you f*cking kidding me?!" She breathed out, whispering.

"Can you be f*cking quiet?! You're embarassing me." She heard Severus' voice in her head. Occlumency. As a sign of disapproval, she tore her hand from his and folded her arms with a seething expression on her face. When Harry Potter appeared in the arena, she heard Snape's voice in her head again.

"You couldn't... pacify the dragon a little, could you?"

"Oh, so now you care?!" She hissed at him, but was determined to try. She focused her energy on the dragon and waved the fingers of her right hand to draw up its anger away. The beast roared and breathed some fire onto the rock where Harry was hiding. Severus squeezed her hand.

"Do something..." He hissed through his clenched teeth.

"I can't." She groaned through her teeth and tried harder. A little bit of anger was flowing away, but not enough to make a difference.

"I would have to look it in the eye, and stand facing it. Besides there are too much people." She concentrated at the emotions of the dragon again. She felt fear. A great deal of it.

"It's a female protecting her egg– she thinks it's hers. There's no power on earth to stop that. Dumbledore should know something about that, shouldn't he?" She smirked, making an obvious pun on Lily Potter's protecting Harry and how much time Dumbledore actually spent researching that.

"Can't you really do anything?" Severus murmured, squeezing her hand.

"You could've done something." She hissed.

"What?"

"Having told Dumbledore not to let Harry compete. Now all ye fear for him! What did ye think this was, a game of chess?!"

"Fine, fine," he murmured back, "I guess wanting now to change the events would be... pathetic."

She sighed, closed her eyes and prayed that Harry escaped safe and sound. Pathetic. Pathetic! You all here are pathetic! She thought. And my people are called primitive! They would never put their own children into danger!

Just when it seemed Harry would get stuck behind a stone because the dragon was watching the other side, she couldn't stand it any longer. She got to her feet, and shrieked:

"HARRY! DON'T GIVE UP! CAN YE HEAR ME, HARRY POTTER, TRY HARDER! DON'T LET THAT BLOODY BEAST TO GET YE!"

The whole teachers' stand turned their faces towards her. With her fists still clenched, she sat down, and Severus casted her a very long look of disapproval for her emotional outburst. But she didn't care.

"Have you gone mad?" She heard Severus' voice in her head. Refusing to look at him, she looked indifferently straight on. It was natural to her, a part of her, to support her students no matter what. And she was quite sad when she thought about the fact that there would be two Professors Snape soon, one of them bullying and cruel and the other one kind-hearted and supportive.

"Hands up." She said indifferently in the evening. Snape glanced at her, writing something into his parchment.

"You want me to surrender?" He smirked. "We'd better get into the bed then."

"No, silly. I want you to spread your arms." She said plainly and approached him with a tailor's tape measure. He stood up from his table, made a few vague steps into the middle of the room and watched her with his cold black eyes and expressionless face. She took measures of his arms, of his trunk, waistline and shoulder width. Then she knelt in front of him and measured his legs and hips, copying down his measures

"Not that I wouldn't like the sight of this," he declared, looking at her when she was still kneeling and her face was on the level of the beginning of his trousers, "but what is this good for?"

"For your dress robes of course."

"Did you just say dress robes?!" He was almost cross with her.

"I said dress robes indeed." She answered as coldly as an iceberg could if it could speak.

"No chance." He said poisonously.

"You think." She said in the same manner.

"Since when has a muggle like you started controlling my life?!" He spat at her.

"I am your wife!" She snapped at him. "And wives have had control of their husbands' clothes since the beginning of time! I won't let you go dressed like a giant vampire for this single occassion!"

"You're not my wife yet!" He snapped with hatred in his face.

"Then I might go with someone else to the Yule Ball as well!" She snapped again, her red hair dancing like fire.

"And what colour might those dress robes be?" He murmured, sitting back to his parchment and acknowledging his defeat in silence. She giggled and went to draw a tailor's sketch. It was going to be magnificent. A little bit Snapeish, of course, so that he would like it and would like to wear it, but still, it had to be pretty. She decided to take the usual shape of a tuxedo and to make it more wizard-like and less black and muggle-like. Firstly there would be a snow-white shirt with a silver tie and a grey waistcoat, which would have silver embroidery, some natural motives and abstract curves would do. Not too opulent, just very cute and small and decent. Then she would decorate the sleeves of the tuxedo coat in the similar manner. The pants would be of the same colour as the waistcoat and just some ordinary black shoes to accompany that, polished of course. Why hadn't she thought of it earlier? There were only few days until Christmas!

Eventually, she managed, but had to work two full long nights without a break. If he would object to it, she swore she would kill him.

She so far thought she couldn't feel with Severus the way she felt with Lupin. But she was terribly mistaken. The eve before the last school day before Christmas, and the Yule Ball, Severus asked her to sleep over. The students are so excited about Christmas they won't notice, he said. So she slept over. It was this time that she realised they were getting really close together. Even closer than in the summer break. Was it possible? In summer, they slept in the same bed too, and how frequently! But Sinéad couldn't help noticing that something has changed on their manner of sleeping in the same bed together. Was it because of the intercourse? She never noticed how is it to wake up with a man behind you before, and she was in a great wonder. How could I be so blind? She was telling herself. Their behaviour to each other changed quite as well since their intimate encounter, they were more intimate, they weren't restraining themselves from touching each other like in the summer. But the sinful feeling in her tummy, the magnetic feeling of entangling yourself with the devil as she felt with Lupin, this came when Severus said with a fire in his eyes: "Let's be late for school."

At first she didn't understand: "Late for school? We can't, we're–" Her protests were muffled by his lips as he pressed himself firmly against her.

"Aren't we permitted to do something we shouldn't?" He winked at her, the fires still in his eyes.

"Do you mean– NO!" She started her question with an interrogating tone, but then shrieked with a malevolent smile as she realised what was going on.

I don't mean no, I mean yes." He smiled, a little bit shyly as he wasn't used to smile much, but the smile was a true smile, not a forced one. Of happiness, of a joyful mischief.

"No," she smiled too, and they began to circle around the small dining table in Severus' room like two vultures about to plunge headfast down. She started running around the table, he started chasing her from the other side, smiling playfully.

"No, no," she kept saying, smiling, keeping him on her arm's length, he was, on the other hand, trying to grab her, "I won't let you ruin my good reputation and– NO!"

He finally grabbed her, although very gently, and directed her to his bed again. He pushed her over onto the cushions with a smile on, while he rolled up her skirts and rested his head in between her thighs, he smirked.

"To the devil with your reputation, you're getting married to me."

She ran to her classroom some twenty minutes afterwards and was trembling, her face pink. Should I feel ashamed? She was asking herself. Should I feel guilty?

Severus walked swiftly next to her and you really couldn't tell by looking at him that they had shared a moment of pleasure a few minutes ago.

"Don't be so pink." He murmured into her ear. Of course she pinkened even more.

"But it felt… So, so good…" She whispered to him from the corner of her mouth.

"I'm glad, but everyone else doesn't have to know." He smirked, and feeling that he should depart from her as true lovers do, to share a physical contact, let's say, he patted her back gently, so that no one saw.

"But how am I to forget it now and go teaching bearing in mind–"

"Don't be silly." He said and flew away in his long cloak, but he was pretty happy and satisfied on the inside.

"Sorry I'm late, I... had some important business to-to do, I–" She got tangled into her own excuse and got more and more pink.

"Something certainly happened to her." Murmured Harry to his companions. After the lesson, he got to her table.

"Professor, are you all right?"

"Y-Yes, Harry, yes." She smiled shyly and blushed again.

"What happened to you?" Harry asked, a real concern in his eyes. "Has Karkaroff been nasty to you again? If yes, I swear I'll..."

"No, Harry, no." She said softly again, putting her hand onto his. "I'm really fine. A little emotional situation out here. But fine. Really." She felt even more guilty. She wasn't sure if she was even right to allow Snape do what he did. She felt as if she'd done something wrong. Oh, but that feeling before! She had felt almost like an animal! Was that the reason why she had liked it so much? Because it was the product of the lust she felt?

"You're thinking about it too much." Suddenly she heard Snape's murmur in her head. "Just let it sit a little. And stop blushing, for Merlin's Beard!"

"Sorry, Severus..." She whispered and suddenly realised she remained alone in an empty class.

She finally finished her and Severus' robe. At last, she thought, it took seven nights' sleep from me. Her robe was gorgeous. Suddenly she sat, stunned. Christmas! It's Christmas in two days! And she didn't have any presents! Right after the classes, she got onto her motorbike and rode into London. When she got to the Leaky Cauldron, she realised with anxiety she didn't have any wand to move the bricks. However, her mind was still bright after all those gloomy days, she focused energy into her hands and moved the bricks easily away. Happy and satisfied that she managed to get into the Diagon Alley by herself, she went down the streets and window-shopped. She had the biggest problem with a present for Severus. What do you usually give to your fiancée? She eventually chose a nice golden pocket watch, and when the watchmaker offered to have a tiny portrait of her painted on the inside of the watch, she was flattered. He asked her to give him a couple of hours to finish her portrait which she granted him with pleasure. Then she went into the apothecary and bought some potion ingredients Severus complained all the time he hadn't. She also bought a stress-relieving potion for Harry, Ron and Hermione, thinking it would come handy during the Tri Wizard Tournament task (because seriously, she knew that the majority of it would be Hermione's work anyway). To Dumbledore, she bought a giant set of tiny glass flasks for his memories, she thought it could come handy to him too. And a very nice night gown. Then it occured to her she should buy something for Molly too, eventually she chose a pashmina scarf (imported right from India), thinking that Molly would never buy that herself. For Arthur, she had a truly marvellous thing. She bought him an actual personal stereo with headphones from a muggle shop, and she was sure he would go crazy because of that. And to Minerva? What to Minerva? Eventually, after a very very long search, she chose a pair of earrings, thinking that Minerva would certainly like to wear them for the Ball. Just when she returned to the watchmakers' to collect her present, Lucius Malfoy stood in the doorway.

"Well well, what do we have here, a squibby shopping?" He smirked and leaned comfortably onto his luxurious walking stick.

"Let me pass, Mr. Malfoy." She said coldly, having paid for her watch, and was trying to get through.

"Oh forgive me," he said, immitating the tone of politeness in his speech, "I've called you a squib. I shouldn't have done that."

She looked at him with a question mark in her green eyes.

"It's too high status for you." He snapped. "You muggle. Filthy animal. You're no better than a Flubberworm."

"I want no riots in my shop!" Shouted the shopkeeper, a small old wizard, and looked at Lucius Malfoy through his thick glasses. "Could you let the miss pass, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Sure." Said he coldly and moved a little so that she could pass. However, once she was in the street, not purposedly looking at him and walking away in the swiftest manner possible with her head bent down, he quickly pulled out his wand and cried:

"Stupefy!"

The spell sent her flying a few feet away, she dropped all her bags and packages. She was rolling on the ground when she hit it, ragging and dirtying her pretty pink coat she was wearing. She was slowly getting up from the mud she fell into, and forbid herself to shed any tear whatsoever. She hissed with pain. She sprained her ankle. No wonder, she was wearing her usual high heels and wasn't really prepared to fell on the ground from such height.

"You've not enough?" She heard Malfoy's voice. "Finally you look appropriately. Like a slave."

She looked around. People were standing around, shocked, but also curious what would happen next. No one helped her.

"Reducto!" He cried and pointed his wand sharply at her. The curse threw her onto the wall, causing her to spit out blood and to be catching for her breath for a few seconds.

"You still don't have enough?" Malfoy said, approaching her with his wand and smirking. "A high time I got the world rid of your polluting presence forever! Avada-"

"ENOUGH!" She shrieked, and the glass from the windows started to blast out one after another. Malfoy backed up a little. She got onto her feet, wiping a trickle of blood running from the corner of her mouth, her green eyes flashing devillishly. "Enough." Out of the blue, a windstorm appeared and was raging terribly. The shutters and signboards were blown around, all the light went out. Malfoy shuddered. It wasn't her anymore. Her eyes were glowing as if a devil possessed them, with a wave of her hand she could cause wind to rage and stones to move. Now it was his body which hit the wall, his arms spread apart. She stretched out her hand and then clenched the fist ferociously, which caused the iron torches on the wall to bend over his wrists and imprisoned him like a martyr.

"Who are you? WHAT ARE YOU?!" He shrieked in horror, tears in his eyes. It wasn't the cold level-headed Mr. Malfoy anymore.

"No one you could be messing up with." She groaned and with one snap of her fingers she set his luxurious cape on fire.

"NOOO! HELP ME!" The shriek sounded like a one of a person that had been tortured tor several days. But he wasn't. He was lucky not to suffer any physical harm greater than a giant shock. She picked up her bags and left the alley in silence. Those whom remained in the streets all rushed out of her sight. Everyone feared her when they saw what she did. But she didn't give a damn. She just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"Merlin's beard!" Cried Severus when she showed up in her doorway. He was sitting on her chair, waiting for her. She couldn't properly shift weight onto her right foot, so she was just hobbling slightly to get around. All her clothes and hair was stained with blood and mud, her bags as well.

"What happened?!"

She sat down on her chair heavily: "Malfoy tried to kill me." He hastily began to take down her coat and bags, and knelt on the floor to examine her ankle. He had to roll down her stocking to see a slender white leg, the ankle being however all swollen and red.

"Ow!" She shut her eyes, so painful it was. Although he could have healed her himself, he was after all more skilled with curses and antidotes than with physical disjoints. So he decided to bring Poppy. When he returned with Poppy and Albus, he saw her resting her head on the backrest of the chair, the long slightly messy hair falling in cascades over the backrest, her leg slightly stretched out and her white skin glowing in the darkness of the late evening. He thought again how beautiful she was, and how vulnerable. Right after Christmas, he would start teaching her how to defend herself against spells and mind-attacks. She refused to go to the hospital wing because that night was the last night before the Christmas Eve and she had to finish the final embroidery at Severus' dress robes. She just put her ankle high enough for it to relax, lighted the strongest candle and took her needle.

And finally, it was here. The Yule ball. Girls dressed up very pretty, and boys turned into little gentlemen. And of course the main focus was on the champions. But just as the champions were lining up in front of the closed door to the Great Hall, the teachers made their entrée. Dumbledore and the other Headmasters went first indeed, and everyone watched them and clapped their hands. Then went Flitwick with Sprout, Filch with Mrs. Norris (everybody burst out laughing) and Moody with Professor Sinistra. And last but not least…

"Is it… Snape? With Sinéad?" Yelled Neville, stunned.

"No. Absolutely not." Mumbled Ron automatically and looked in that direction.

What he saw first was a pair of long white legs in silver high-heels walking swiftly on the snowy ground. He blushed and looked up, noticing a long slit in glittering silver dress through which the legs were visible. The dress was outlining her slender body. She was drawing a short train behind her and the corselet was strapless. Her skin was white and fascinating, it seemed whiter than usual and almost sparkling. Her hair was tied up into a tight bun and she was wearing a long silver earrings and a clover necklace to match. Snape was holding her hand high gently and it seemed that he too had a new dress. Full of silver embroidery and excellent materials, it fitted him perfectly. But it wasn't different in style from what he was wearing during the usual days. But together, they looked magnificent. Or she at least. She looked like a queen.

"Are you salivating?" Ginny turned to Neville, who blushed like a rosehip.

"The dress looks expensive…" Mumbled Padma Patil, Ron's dancing partner.

"It's so sparkling…" Whispered Neville and he couldn't take his eyes of her.

"Neville fell in love." Smirked Ginny, nudging him into his ribs.

"Yes, I did…" He mumbled, all rosey. "I'm gonna ask Professor… Sinéad… to dance with me…"

The professors stood facing the door through the champions were to enter, Sinéad's hand still on Snape's forehand as he offered her his arm.

"Who's the woman next to Karkaroff?" Mumbled Sinéad. Severus could barely hear her.

"That's his wife." He murmured back.

"He has a wife?!" She whispered, her mouth wide open and her eyes popped out and had to restrain herself from yelling. "And he flirts with me all the time! That nasty lecher!"

"He's a swine." Murmured Severus in his usual manner and had no traces of being upset whatsoever, he just continued to look straight before him.

"Professor Uí Bríain seems really agitated. What are they talking about you think?" Asked Padma.

"Well, it must be something bloody important. She seems really angry." Growled Ron.

"Do you think it has to do something with Snape coming late to our lesson?" Asked Ginny.

"Your lesson? Sinéad came late to our lesson too!" Yelled Ron.

"They're definitely having an affair together." Padma's brown eyes glittered. "They're having an affair and were snogging in the broomstick cabinet." She giggled.

"With Snape? Hardly ever." Said our Sarcasstic Queen Ginny.

"With my fantastic Sinéad? Hardly ever." Neville contributed to the debate.

"She's not yours, Neville," Ginny put him to his place with a smirk.

"In my dreams she is." The poor boy breathed out and blushed, smiling faintly.

"He's helpless." Said Ron, casting him a side glance. And now there were fanfares and hand-clapping and waving and smiling. The champions entered the Great Hall and danced their first dance. Sinéad clapped her hands and after the first dance, Severus offered her his hand corteously and they began to circle elegantly in waltz all around the hall with the others.

"Have you seen Snape?" Harry and Parvati joined them. "He really decked out, don't you think? Even more than you, Ron." Harry threw a look at Ron's awful pink dress.

"That's what we've been talking about." Ginny said. "Padma thinks they're having an affair."

"Rubbish!" Both Harry and Parvati yelled.

"I told them!" Squealed red Neville.

"Don't listen to that crazy fool." Said Ron. "Look at them. How he holds her. How she smiles. She seems enchanted. She couldn't have gone with him out of politeness Harry." Ron winked, raising his eyebrows in an important gesture.

"No way! I mean seriously-" Harry looked at them again. They were waltzing – but wait – did Snape just take a hop?

"What'er lookin' at?"

"Hagrid!"

"Noice ss'robes Ron." The half-giant complimented with a sincere smile.

"Snape and Sinéad just look so… weird together, don't you think, Hagrid?" Said Harry.

"F'course they're not, Harry, they're gittin' married soon ye know." Hagrid chuckled good-naturedly.

"They're WHAT?!" All of them yelled at the game-keeper, whom walked away, mumbling: "Shouldnt've said that. Nope. Certainly should not have said that."

"Then I'll have to ask her to dance before she ends up in hell with him." Said Neville, standing up from their seat and bearing an expression of someone who walks to his gallows. He was pale and his hands were sweaty, but in his eyes, there was the haze of platonic love to a teacher we all experienced in our student years.

"Neville, no!" Harry tried to stop him, "it's merely after the third dan-"

But in vain. Longbottom tottered slowly towards Sinéad and Snape, who sat down as well and were chatting with Dumbledore and McGonagall.

"You know Bagman, the famous Quidditch player, he's rather a good Beater, but he dances awfully…" Minerva was complaining; Ludovic Bagman had invited her for the ball.

"Professor…" Mumbled Neville, all red, looking at Sinéad, who gave him a questioning look with her big green eyes and thick lips painted with a nude-toned lipstick. Neville just now realised she had silver glittering eyeshadows and reddened even more. "G-Good evening professors… Headmaster, good evening…" He was prattling and bowing in a desperate attempt to greet everyone before trying his luck with Sinéad. Snape looked slightly irritated, perhaps he was imagining larding Longbottom with barbecue skewers. Neville now realised that it was a totally dim-witted attempt and wanted to give up.

"Did you want something Neville?" She smiled at him kindly, turning away from the circle and giving him her full attention.

"Uhm, I, err… No, nothing, really, no, nothing, just… If you could… If you'd like to… dance with me, I mean, no, I mean, can I have your arm, I mean, of course not literally, of course not, but…" He was as red as a beetroot and totally entangled at his speech.

"Of course Neville," she smiled kindly and gave him her hand in a white long glove, on which he saw a little ring. Her engagement ring. (She wore all the jewellry she had at the present moment.) Snape was now frying him alive with his eyes, Minerva and Albus just smiled. He offered her his shaky arm and led her into the dance floor to dance.

"Bloody hell, he really has her!" Ron exclaimed.

Harry hooted with laughter and wiped his eyes from tears: "Look at Snape- look at his face! Look at his face! That's the best thing of the evening, I'm telling you!"

"What are you laughing at?" It was Hermione's voice. She joined the squad and they all told her what they found out.

When they were circling around, Neville couldn't take his eyes off her. She was smiling kindly and looked at him with her bright eyes. Neville felt that this was the best day of his poor life. When Sinéad got back, she had to calm her wild breath down and whispered to Severus.

"Take it easy, Grumpy. What treasures of the world would have you given if Lily had danced with you in your fourth year?"

He just grumbled something and placed his hand on her thigh under the table as the symbol of the fact that she was irretrievably his and only his own. In the meanwhile, Neville went to jump into the fountain outside to make sure he wasn't dreaming. She then danced even with Moody (a little, because of his leg), with Dumbledore (who was way smaller than her), a few times with Snape again, and finally with Viktor Krum (Karkaroff insisted, casting jealous glances becuase he couldn't dance with her himself). And then with Snape again. It was a great evening. When they went back to Snape's room together, he said coldly:

"I would appreciate if you didn't give yourself away so much."

"Please don't be so possessive, Severus." She answered calmly. He suddenly tugged her hand and pulled her violently to himself, pushing her onto the wall simultaneously.

"You're mine, do you understand me? You're mine, and mine only, and not everyone's floozie!"

She casted him a look of hatred, slipped out of his arms and dashed through the corridors into her room to get her violin. She then returned to the Great Hall and played beautiful sad songs for anyone that remained there. There were few, others either sneaked out in pairs or went to bed. Neville was sitting on the ground and was looking at her devoutly all the time. Severus returned to the beautifully decorated gardens in the meanwhile and was handing detentions with his face like thunder.


	19. Voldemort and Mrs Snape

**19**

 **Lord Voldemort**

There wasn't almost time to unwrap the presents, Severus hurried her into training. There wasn't a single bad word about their yesterday's quarrel, they both knew there will be many of them before they can live together in absolute harmony. They were just getting used to one another. But Sinéad was happy that she stood her ground and opposed him when he wasn't reasonable. This is what all wives should do, she told herself. Severus really seemed to like the new pocket watch, and was enchanted by her little portrait inside. From Dumbledore, she got two muggle outfits: a smart suit with pencil skirt and jacket and very elegant glasses. From Minerva there was a very close-fitting skin-tight gym outfit, black spandex pants, light green top and yellow head band. She didn't know for what she would use those two outfits but decided there was no harm in having them in her wardrobe. From Sybil, she got a crystal pendulum for future telling. Sinéad lauged and thought it would be a nice necklace anyway, Severus sneering how useless it was. There were some home-made sweets from Mrs. Weasley and a jinxed compass from Mr. Weasley. This made her really happy. One of the last presents was a mysterious plant from Neville Longbottom.

"I'd rather put it aside before it explodes." Smirked Snape with grudge. Just as Sinéad took the pot gently, the flower rose to its sterms, jumped from the pot and began running around the room. She began giggling, rose to her feet too and began chasing the plant.

Annoyed by the foolishness, Severus Snape just waved his wand, uttering vaguely: "Immobillus."

Sinéad smiled, picked the escaped flower and put it back into its box.

"Last but not least," Severus rose to his feet too, "here's my present." He was handing a mysterious chest. She opened it and cried with awe. The most pretty fabrics on the world, velvet, muselin, satin – all white. There was a silver embroidery and a pearl here and there.

"Your wedding dress – don't unfold it." He stretched his hand to stop her from taking the fabric from the box.

"It's so very pretty! It's perfect!" She cried and jumped around his neck, squeezing him in her hug and kissing him.

"It's just a dress." He tried to calm her down, but was smiling as well, "I can't wait to see it on you – but I guess I'll have to wait for our wedding day."

"When is it going to be, Severus?" She asked.

"Dumbledore says after schoolyear, dear. We will invite anyone you like. Your family would be there too…"

"Oh, I'm so looking forward to it! It's going to be great!" She smiled with excitement. "Perhaps, it could be organised entirely in our village, that would help both cultures a lot if they knew each other…"

Suddenly, there was an owl at the windowsill, carrying a letter. When Sinéad opened the window, the letter flew in and rose into the air, opening one of its sides as a mouth.

"Step back! It's a howler!" Snape jumped in front of her, keeping her in safety. The room was filled with Arthur Weasley's voice.

"OH- MY- GOD, THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT I'VE EVER GOT- YEEEE IT PLAYS MUSIC ON IT'S OWN! JUST A LITTLE BOX! I'M CARRYING IT EVERYWHERE WITH ME, IT'S BRILLIANT, IT'S JUST BRILLIANT! THOSE MUGGLES- THEY'RE SO CLEVER- ALMOST AS REAL MAGIC- I MUST SHOW MOLLY- SORRY FOR THE HOWLER, I WAS SO EXCITED THAT I COULDN'T HOLD A QUILL IN MY TREMBLING HAND! YOU'RE AN ANGEL! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!"

Snape looked stunned: "What on earth did you give him?!"

"Just a little personal stereo…" Peeped Sinéad and then burst out laughing. She was happy that her present evoked so much excitement.

They stood facing each other in the teacher's gym.

"Prepare yourself!" Ordered Severus, pointing his wand to her. She stood with legs apart, in her new sporty outfit and had her hair tied up to a long ponytail, prepared to fight. However, she didn't expect at all what came next.

"Legillimens!"

She breathed out and weakened in her knees. In her mind, there were images flashing one after another. Her dancing with Neville Longbottom… Her snogging with Remus Lupin… Lupin's lustful hands travelling onto her bottom… Her sleeping in bed with Severus in Cokeworth… Her wandering the streets dressed like a muggle… Her fighting with the werevolf… Her walks in the Forbidden Forest… Her meditations in the nature… Even her swimming naked in the Black Lake!

"Concentrate!" She heard Severus and with blurry eyesight saw him standing in front of her in the empty room, his wand pointing at her.

"Yes!" She cried and closed her eyes. She was more prepared now. She knew how it would be feeling like. She stood wider and clenched her fists. Snape looked at her and was surprised how determined she was. No whining, no heavy breathing, no weakness. She was simply perfect. And he loved her because of that. No, he loved her because of everything. He loved her even more than he'd ever loved Lily. He was now keen to admit it.

"Legillimens!"

It was harder this time, but he managed again. She wasn't concentrating enough. He saw her having a tea with Lovegood, with Longbottom, he saw her having chats with Lupin here and there… And he saw himself in her memories, looking at her sheepishly and struggling with his affections for Lily a year ago. Heavens! It was only a year! He knew her only a year and a half and they were engaged. It would have given him a great food for thought and would have maybe scared him a little, but at the moment, he didn't have time for musing.

"You are not doing enough! I said- CONCENTRATE!" He shouted at her. And again, a great bravery and courage. No tears.

"Yes! I just need to find my way! Please, keep trying with me!" She cried, and he realised he had never seen such fire in her eyes, such determination in her voice, such adrenaline running in her veins.

"Can I have just a minute before you'll try next?"

"Sure." He smirked and looked at her with contempt and disbelief. What did she want to manage in a minute's time?

She, in the meanwhile, delved herself into her own memories. What was old Siobhán telling her about human mind? The old woman was about hundred years old, and was very, very wise. Her father went often for Seán Shiobháin's advice. What was she saying?!

Severus was looking at his fiancée with his black deep eyes. He couldn't help it, he had to use Legillimency without her knowing it, he had to know what she was trying to figure out…

Ten year-old Sinéad was sitting at Seán Shiobháin's table. The old woman was pouring her a cup of tea, the earthen mug trembling as the ancient woman's hands were shaking.

I'll help you with the tea, seánmháthair! Little Sinéad cried in a language that Severus didn't understand, but Sinéad did. These were her thoughts after all. The girl skipped from the table and held the mug for the woman so that she could pour the boiling water in. They were in a sort of hut, where there were a few shelves with pottery, a fire and primitive beds.

Ah! What was I… What was I saying? The old woman sighed. Severus didn't try to guess her actual age. But she must have been very, very, very old.

You were at your saying that you were to tell me about human mind, seánmháthair.

Right, ceart go leor, mind… I tell you this child, and remember my words, for soon I may not be here and my words will be the only thing that remains.

Do not talk like that, seánmháthair.

You see, child, human mind is a very complex thing. It is not easy. That is why you must never smoke tobacco nor drink wine, my child, it bewilders human brain and takes it to dangerous paths of oblivion. And I tell you something else. You must give your mind a good rest, child. Plenty of good sleep. If you can't sleep, work. Tough work brings good sleep. And something else I wanted to tell you. What was it? Ah, I got it. When you think your mind works too much during the day, there is no time to sleep, ye see, banish all thoughts. But mind cannot work like that, can it? Aya? No, it blabs like a monkey donkey. Yada yada yada yada. And you cannot give it a work to get it busy with, as well as you cannot give a worker a smaller tree to cut and think he would rest because the work is easier. What you must do, my child, is to focus on your breath and nothing else. That is how you keep the blabbing demons out of your head! You must kill them with steadiness and peace, and regularity of your breath.

Sinéad opened her green eyes. She was much calmer now. She smiled.

"Come on, get me. I'm prepared."

"Legilimens!"

He was now in a gray empty space. He wasn't sure she managed to dodge him completely, but he knew this wasn't her conscience either. There was nothing, and the silence was deafening. Just as he was about to exit and tell her that she won, something moved in the distance and was getting closer. He narrowed his eyes. It was a woman with dirty ginger hair, thin worn out face, bony limbs and crazy popped out eyes. Her mouth was constantly hanging down in a terrifying grimace of a lunatic. She stretched her skeletal hand to him and as soon as his eyes met hers, she emanated a strident shriek. This was nothing he could hear from Sinéad. However terrifying her shrieks were, this person's one were maddening, thousand times worser than Sinéad's. He hadn't heard a sound worse than this in his entire life. It ran through his entire body, every cell in his body echoed the sound and was being tortured in agony. He had a feeling his heart stopped beating. This was a banshee! A real banshee! One of the most feared creatures in the wizarding community, the actual Death Messenger! Oh the horror! The agony!

It took him some precious seconds before he could put himself together and get out from Sinéad's subconsciousness. And then, he couldn't believe what happened next. He fainted. He actually fainted! He swore he would never on earth practice Legillimency with her again!

When he opened his eyes, Sinéad was bent over him

"Oh Severus! Let us not practice Occlumency with me anymore! The few attempts got you so distressed!"

"It's not Legillimency which made me almost lose my senses," he growled and sat on the floor, embarassed, "it was-"

He bit his lips. He swore to her sister he wouldn't tell her.

"It was what?" Sinéad asked.

"I met a strange creature in your mind. A savage woman. She shrieked like the devil."

"Oh, her." Sinéad smiled, "I know her."

"You do?!"

"Yes, she keeps returning to me in my dreams since I was small. At first I was pretty horrified, but now it's fine. I tell her not to scream and she just stares and does nothing."

"Interesting. Do you think you have seen her before?"

"No, as far as I remember."

Severus got a strange feeling that the banshee in Sinéad's subconscience could possibly be her mother. But he didn't tell her anything as he promised.

"I'm very glad you came Harry." Said Sinéad calmly, putting down her cup of afternoon tea. On that day, it seemed to Harry that she was exceptionally pretty. Her long hair was tied to a side ponytail, making her look very sexy. She switched her usual renaissance conservative style for more daring black dress which fitted her chubby curves nicely. The dress was long only just under her knees, had a wide A skirt, short sleaves and very low cleavage. Of course Harry didn't know all this, it was Sinéad who knew. When it came to clothes, she knew everything.

"Professor, I must tell you. I can't hold it inside me anymore." Harry breathed out and sat down, looking devastated.

"Go on, Harry, make yourself comfortable." The teacher smiled and crossed her legs.

"I didn't want any of this!" The boy burst out. "I don't have a clue what's going on, all the tasks have been resolved either by Hermione or Moody. I'm having enough work with my usual classes, I didn't ask for being in the tournament! I feel totally desperate, Professor, I don't know what to do! I want to give up! It's not even me who does the tasks, it's just luck and Hermione!"

He really looked desperate.

"You know what, Harry?" She smiled, those lovely dimples in her cheeks again, and looked at him with her daring green eyes. "When we feel overwhelmed, it's best to let go of some steam. Girls do that by crying, of course, I don't want to force you to cry just because you'd relieve yourself, however…" She stretched her hand to the corner of her office and a gramophone began playing. It was a very lively music, the kind that would make you jump frantically.

"It's swing Harry. My most favourite…" Sinéad narrowed her eyes and smiled, stood up, and stretched her hand towards him.

"But miss, I can't da–"

"Nonsense Harry, everyone can dance swing, it's the easiest of all!" She yelled, laughing, and began to bounce around the room. She pulled him from the chair onto his feet. At first, he began to wriggle weirdly, but soon afterwards, he got the right rhythm and began jumping, smiling wide from ear to ear. He held her hand and they both continued jumping, bouncing and wriggling like madmen. She laughed, he laughed too. He span her around like a skilled swinger. Her skirt was flying from here to there and her white thigs were so cute. This was one of the nicest moments of his life.

When the music ended, they fell into the armchairs and gasped for breath, panting heavily.

"Feeling better, Harry?" She asked, wiped sweat from her forehead, and smiled.

"Much better." He smiled and stood up. "I'll just have to push it to the end. It's just two more tasks. I don't even care who wins anymore. I just want to be alive."

"Much better Harry." She repeated, nodding and smiling, her naughty eyes were challenging him again. "I just like dancing so much."

"You're the best. Honestly." He said when he was leaving the room. She blushed and closed her eyes.

"It's the mid-term already, everyone!" Sinéad yelled, "and as such, you have handed in your pet assignments early in your lessons today. I've went through them and here at this evaluative session, I would like to point out some exceptional ones. Neville, good work, although I am not a cactus is an animal. I am afraid that I would have to decrease your mark because of that, although a good point about not pricking the plant, I am sure no one likes being pricked…"

Draco Malfoy and his sidekicks smirked and laughed.

"Hermione, excellent work as always, no one is really even surprised… The point that cats don't like being disturbed from their resting and have their own head should be pinpointed to everybody."

Draco Malfoy smirked again.

"However, the most outstanding work has been done by Mr. Malfoy," Sinéad continued, turning to him. Hermione popped her eyes out and Malfoy's smile froze on his lips. He looked at the teacher with unsure eyes.

"I've never seen a worser work, Mr. Malfoy." Said the teacher coldly. "Do you really think your classmate qualifies as a pig? If so, probably you should get some very thick glasses, because your eyesight is very poor."

Ron, Harry and Hermione started giggling.

"I will read a part of it, if you please," said the teacher and unfolded a piece of parchment. "'My friend Goyle is a boar. He enjoys eating and doesn't like being waken up from his sleep. Sometimes he grunts.'"

The whole class burst out with tears in their eyes. Malfoy turned green with anger.

"And that was basically all that was there." Sinéad concluded, holding the parchment by its tip. "Written on a parchment which had been probably previously used to wrap Mr. Malfoy's breakfast." She had to shout the last words of her sentence. The classroom roared with laughter, everyone was looking at Malfoy. Sinéad went to his desk and bent close to him.

"If you thought you've outsmarted me, you're greatly mistaken…" She hissed. "I've outsmarted you. If you thought that you'd be awfully funny and cheated me with your poor homework, just look, everyone's laughing at you, Mr. Malfoy, not me… I know exactly what to do with scoundrels like you…" She straightened back and said loudly enough so that the whole class would hear her: "I'm publicly announcing that Mr. Malfoy has failed my course in the first semester. In the next one, you would have to do all the work that you haven't done till now, and for the situation to be really fair compaired to the others, your score cannot be lower than B. After all, you will have twice as more time to do your assignments, won't you?"

"Yeah? And who's gonna make me?!" He said proudly, looking at the teacher with disgust in his eyes. "Who's gonna make me obey this stupid filthy m-"

"Me." The door was thrown open and Snape flew inside in his long cloak.

"Mr. Malfoy, if your professor says you've failed it, you've failed it. You should be grateful for having the opportunity to make up for it later. Because if you won't…" The terrifying professor bent to Malfoy as Sinéad had done previously, "you'll fail the whole year and will have to repeat everything… And you'll lose your place in the quidditch team of course…"

"We're settled then. Off you go all!" Sinéad waved her hand and watched the students to go away with a great respect in their eyes. Except for Malfoy, who stamped all the other people's feet, so angry he was.

It was unbelievable, but during the second half of the schoolyear, nothing unusual had happened. Sinéad taught her usual classes, where they learnt with cats and owls in the second semester. They learnt how to treat them right, they learnt to get to know their moods and likings, not to disturb them when they want to sleep or be alone. How to care for the little just born creatures in the forest too. Later they trained with hipogryffs (with Hagrid's assistance). Everyone was great, even Malfoy, because he faced a threat even bigger than he could handle. They tried to ease the animals when they were stressed and tried to calm them down when they were angry. It really made them understand the nature.

And then, there was the third task and the end of school year. It is needless to say that Sinéad openly supported Harry Potter as she did in the previous two tasks. The champions emerged into the maze and they all had to wait. Suddenly, Sinéad froze and whispered:

"I feel Death… I sense her coming… She's coming…"

Severus was just about to contempt her silly soft nature, when he froze on his spot too. He suddenly realised that she was a half-banshee, after all. She must have known such things!

"For whom?!" He hissed and tried not to sweat too much.

"I can't tell you," she said, gasping, "it's intended for one of the four compelling in the dangerous assignment."

"Don't tell me it's for Potter!" He growled and squeezed her hand.

"I can't see for whom it is…" She panted and her forehead shrunk as she tried hard to focus. Although, nothing else came. The information about death was just like a sudden revelation, an enlightenment. It wouldn't be on her mind every second. However, when Harry came back with Cedric Diggory's dead body, they both found out it wasn't meant for Harry to die; and afterwards when he was dragged away by Moody, and Dumbledore, Minerva and Severus ran shortly after them, she was horrified. Was he back? Was he really back?! Would Severus join him again as he promised, or…? And how about the revelation of death she just experienced? How comes she didn't experience one before? Were her senses alerted because of his return? Or was she just becoming more and more sensual and spiritual? She sat on her bed and didn't know any of the answers. Was much worried. Suddenly, the door swung open and Severus ran inside with his wand and shouted:

"Come with me! Immediately! We are getting married in the next five minutes."

"What?" She cried, her eyes popped. She couldn't believe what he just said.

"Don't pretend you're so stupid!" He snapped. She sensed that he was in a great distress, that's why was disagreeable.

"There's no way I would now ruin my prepared ceremony." She said coldly. She had everything ready for July. Altar, guests, food, music, transfer of the wizarding community to her native village, everything. And she won't let that be spoiled!

"I'll put that clear to you." He hissed and bent over a dining table. "We are getting married in the next few minutes or never. Put on your dress if you like, but you must lose no longer than a minute!"

"Your behaviour is unacceptable!" She shrieked and folded her arms. "Ordering me what to do, am I your servant or something?"

"Are you so self-willed or are you really as dim-witted as you are behaving?" He shouted at her. "The Dark Lord's back! There's no way how I could get away with marrying someone like you in his presence! Now he's grasping all the things that happened during those thirteen years and is most prone to accepting new state of things, so we had better put that marriage forward as planned and irretrievable! DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? MOVE YOUR ASS!"

With hot tears streaming down her cheeks, she pulled on her beautiful dress quickly. No accessories, no nice makeup, nothing else. There wasn't time for that. She almost crushed the zip as she was hurrying up. She grabbed her veil and was already being pulled out of her room by Severus' tight grip. He himself didn't change his clothes. They ran into Dumbledore's office and were immediately admitted. The Headmaster skipped the whole vow until the sentences 'Do you marry each other?'

Severus said his 'I do' even before Dumbledore could finish.

"And you, Sinéad?" Dumbledore looked at the bride. The dress was beautiful and fitted her nicely, the veil ran down her back with her long long hair. But she was looking away from her groom and only tears were dropping on the floor, one after another.

"I-I do." She sobbed, however, as soon as she said that, Severus disappeared in a cloud of black smoke. The beautiful white bride burst into tears. Dumbledore put his reassuring hand onto her shoulder.

"There there, what do we have here? A bride crying? That shouldn't be… Brides are meant to be happy!"

"He- spoilt- EVERYTHING!" She squaled and new wave of sobs welled out.

"Do you understand why your husband had to leave so soon?" Dumbledore asked.

"N-No."

"Lord Voldemort has returned an hour ago." Dumbledore said calmly. "And all his followers must come to him now, or else they are regarded as traitors and are murdered by Voldemort himself."

"B-But why had we t-to marry in such a h-haste?"

"Lord Voldemort doesn't usually approve of people who aren't born as wizards." Albus explained. "Severus will have to come up with a suitable excuse to save your lives. He'll have to lie to protect you. And above all, he mustn't reveal that the marriage has been made in a haste purposedly before he could interfere. Voldemort hates being short of power."

"Severus…" Voldemort whispered, looking at Snape with his snake-like eyes. Snape felt an urgent need to shiver, to run away from this monster. But he had to stay. He had to act. "I thought you wouldn't come to me… That those thirteen years had changed you… That you ran away like all those other cowards… They are all going to pay for it anyway…"

"What kept you so long?!" He hissed and Severus got slightly paler.

"I apologise to you for my delay, My Lord," he said in a fawny manner, his face neutral, his Occlumency activated, "I had to attend a planned event tonight."

"Planned event!" Hissed Voldemort, "what event could be more planned than the return of your Master? Didn't you feel your arm itching and hurting all year, Severus?!"

"I did feel it my Lord. I was getting married this evening, my Lord. Forgive me." He murmured shamefully and Bellatrix Lestrange burst out laughing in massochistic manner.

"So how comes none of our friends wasn't invited?" Voldemort grinned, the other Death Eaters looking sheepishly at him. "For my part, I couldn't come earlier but just now to your wedding, but the others could!"

"It was… very private, my Lord. Not even her family were present."

"I like weddings!" The Dark Lord smiled again and Severus felt a sudden urge to vomit. "However, I have never attended one. I haven't seen a bride, all my life!"

Bellatrix brayed.

"Bring your wife here!" Cried Voldemort and Snape froze on the spot.

"I said," Voldemort said, less excited and more annoyed, "bring here your wife! I want to see her!"

Severus vanished from the graveyard, wishing this was just a bad dream. When he arrived to Hogwarts, he found her still in Dumbledore's office.

"I'm really sorry, Headmaster, but I'll have to borrow her for an instant." When he walked into the door, she looked at him, her eyes watery and her cheeks wet. He energically went towards her, took her arm and pulled her forcibly on her feet.

"You must go with me." He said. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and she just stared at him, her eyes big and sad. "He wants to see you. If I won't bring you, we'll both die."

"What am I to do?" She whispered at the edge of her reason, "what am I to say?"

"You will try to please him. That's all." He said, still tightly grasping her arm and with one more black smoke cloud, they vanished.

"Poor girl…" Dumbledore breathed out and extracted another memory from his temple.

When they apparated back at the graveyard, he quickly wiped her cheeks and eyes so that the others wouldn't see them. He took her hand and came closer into the circle of the dark silhouettes.

"My Lord, I've done what you asked."

"Good, Severus. I knew you're one of my best servants…" Voldemort whispered and came close to Sinéad. His bare feet were shining on the ground. He lifted her veil to see her face. When she saw the appearance of the person who was looking at her face, she held inside a mad scream. She just lowered her eyes so that the others would think she was just shy. With his cold thin long white finger Voldemort lifted her chin up so that he would see her eyes and face more profoundly. She kept a stern face and didn't show any fear, though she was screaming inside. Only her lip trembled and her eyes were big as the eyes of a doe.

"You show a considerable interest in women with ginger hair and green eyes, Severus…" The Dark Lord hissed and a few Death Eaters chuckled.

"Who is she?"

"A fellow colleague of mine, My Lord."

"What does she teach?"

"Mythology, My Lord."

"Can't she speak for herself?" Voldemort hissed, annoyed again.

"M-Mythology," she said in a weak voice and paused. She heard Severus' voice in her head: "My Lord." So she added with a trembling voice: "M-My Lord."

"I've never heard of that subject." He said as if his great knowledge was hurt. "What is it good for?"

"For helping students to understand nature and its Spirits, M-My Lord." She murmured.

"Spirits? There are some… Spirits?" Voldermort was excited again. This was something he could use to his advantage.

"I-" They could hear Lucius Malfoy's cracking squeaking voice, "I would recommend you My Lord not to listen to that woman. It's all lies, My Lord."

"Lucius," Voldemort turned to Malfoy, "you seem acquainted with the lady. Can you tell me who is she?"

"Some said she was a squib, My Lord…"

"A squib?!" Voldemort's eyes narrowed and he pulled out his wand.

"I had the impression that she was a mere dirty muggle, My Lord…"

"A muggle?!" He was raging and prepared his wand to kill.

"No, My Lord!" Severus cried and stood in front of the woman covered in white, "she's not any of this! She's- She's a banshee!"

"A banshee?" Voldemort's horror eyes flashed. He would very much like to have a banshee amongst his followers.

"Well, a half-banshee, My Lord. Half-banshee, half-human."

"How can you support your arguments, Lucius?" He hissed.

"I have no evidence, My Lord, it's just what others said." Malfoy swallowed and looked at his master with anxiety in his eyes. "I've thought for quite a while myself that she was just a filthy slave… But there has been an incident which made me doubt my own conviction, My Lord…"

"An incident? What incident?" Voldemort asked impatiently. Severus clenched his fists. This wasn't good. It wasn't good when he was impatient. Lucius Malfoy started describing the events of the evening before Christmas in Diagon Alley. Voldemort was greatly impressed.

"Good work, Severus, very good work… Getting a real banshee, although a half-banshee on our side was very clever. You will be praised at the Great Gathering. How about our dear guest?" He lifted her veil again to see her face and saw giant sparkling tears rolling down and dropping on the ground.

"Lucius, you have made our precious guest cry." Voldemort reproached him.

"Me, My Lord?" Malfoy said, puzzled.

"Tell me, banshee, did you enjoy your wedding?" Voldemort asked.

"I did, My Lord." She whispered, barely audible.

"I just got a splendid idea!" Voldemort announced to all with a horrid smile. "I will marry them again right here, on the spot!"

"We can't surely bother you with that, My Lord!" Snape said.

"Nonsense! How can I better celebrate my arrival than with a wedding? Not my own of course." He smirked, and Bellatrix chuckled again. "After all, what else is a wedding than the symbol of a new beginning?"

And so it happened that they stood in front of Voldemort as they had previously stood in front of Dumbledore and Voldemort took the care to invent various oaths that they had to fulfill, such as delivering a lot of new Death Eaters, to obey his will always and for Sinéad, last but not least, that she be a good wife, obedient, easy, and faithful, and that she be always behaving like her husband likes her to behave and do what he tells her to do, because after all, her husband was a very good servant and exemplary Death Eater.

Just as they were about to depart, he told Snape: "Your wife pleases me very much. She is pretty, quiet, loyal, and uncomplaining. And in addition, she's a banshee! Really good choice, Severus!" He grinned hideously. "Tell Mrs. Snape that I shall like to see her very soon…"

Just as they apparated back to Dumbledore's office, she hid her face in her hands and finally could weep freely without swallowing her sobs. Severus tried to say something, however, before he could lay his hand on her shoulder, she shouted at him:

"Leave me alone! It's all your fault! You've ruined my wedding! YOU'VE RUINED IT! Don't touch me!" She ran out of the door, her white train flying after her, and slammed the door fiercely. She ran through the corridors, and the fact that she was now dressed as a bride mattered but little. She slammed the door of her room, fell on the bed and outburst to desperate crying.

"Let her be, Severus." Dumbledore said calmly, putting his hand onto Snape's shoulder. "I will pop in tomorrow and will explain everything if you like me to do so. But now she needs some time to cry her eyes out. Congratulations to you, by the way. I am glad to finally see you out of your bachelorship. Marriage is full of gains and losses, but in my opinion, it's still better than being alone."

"I still cannot believe I've exposed her to the danger of being killed by the Dark Lord." Said Snape and – was it possible? – his face was painful and he was almost crying.

"If Voldemort said he wanted to see her, it was better to bring her than if he wanted to find her himself. Voldemort is used to always get what he wants, don't forget that."

"Does it really mean that… when she married me, she must subject herself to the Dark Lord?" Snape groaned with pain in his voice. "Must it be really so? Can't she be spared the pain, the agony, the horror? Do I have to watch her eyes as they fill with disgust as he touches her chin?"

"I am afraid that for your role, it is necessary, Severus." Dumbledore said, watching him carefully through the rims of his glasses. "It is very unlikely for the families of the Death Eaters to split over this basic matter of loyalty. The members of the family which were loyal to Voldemort didn't hesitate to kill their relatives if they decided to leave the dark path. If you allowed your wife to drift away from your ideals without punishment, it would be highly suspicious."

"Must she really act, just because I am acting?!" Severus howled and hid his face in his hands.

"I am afraid it must be done." Dumbledore said.

"But she didn't chose this! Only I did!" His voice was cracking.

"But she chose you." Dumbledore said tenderly.

And so it happened that later in his own office, Severus Snape laid his forehead on the table, a goblet of red wine in his right hand, and there were hot tears wetting the surface of his table. But he was vigilant, as always. If someone knocked the door, he would be ready to immediately turn his face back to normal and wipe his wet cheeks. He partially hoped that she would knock the door to join his company. He would even wish that she burst into his office, punching him and screaming. But none of that happened.


	20. New beginning

**20**

 **New Beginning**

She spent a dreamless night. She couldn't believe anything that happened. That her parents were not in fact her parents. That her sisters were actually just sisters to each other and that she was a complete stranger to her whole tribe. She didn't have common ancestry with them, the only thing that reunited them together. She couldn't believe she didn't belong. She did belong neither here nor there. She didn't belong anywhere. She wasn't from a celtic tribe she loved so much. And she wasn't a wizard. She should pack her trunk and go to live with the Pork-heads, or Muggles, or how does she call them? When she doesn't belong to any party? She decided to call them people, just people, equal to her own, not different nor dumber. She had been pretty haughty to think so. She felt so low. Her entire life shattered. She was a baby that no one wanted and was accepted just because of mercy. She was a product of waste. She was a lost existence. She was never meant to happen. She was a disgrace for the spirit world and for mankind as well. She should have been left to die on her own as an infant.

Suddenly she made a decision. She would join her husband as a double-agent for Dumbledore. She had nothing to lose now. If her life was conceived as a failure, she could as well sacrifice it for Harry Potter and the wizarding world, couldn't she? She felt she had to stay with them. She couldn't possibly go back to her tribe and feel all the time that she didn't belong. And she couldn't imagine going to the muggle world and starting anew from scrap. She had some money, but no working ability whatsoever. No. It was better to stay where she was. She lied in her bed and seriously considered getting drunk. I can now be whomever I want, she told herself with a sarcasstic ironic smirk. I have a new identity. I am No One, for the time being. I can be a rover, or I can be a book-worm, I can dress like a Victorian maiden or like a prostitute. I can be as warm as the sun or as cold as ice. I can be anybody I want. But who do I want to be?

Then she remembered her own advice she gave to Harry Potter half a year ago. When you feel desperate, it is best to let off some steam. But she didn't feel like crying anymore. She wept all night and it did no good. And she really wasn't in the mood do dance, not even to her favourite swing. She put on her gym outfit and sprang from the castle, running like a wild hare. Her long hair streamed behind her and she flew in the air, this is how fast she ran. She was puffing and her arms were flashing past her trunk. When Mr. Filch popped his head out from the main gate, he saw an orange-green blot frantically circling the castle.

"Hee-hee," he smirked maliciously, "it isn't too long after their marriage and she already went nuts!" The old humped schoolkeeper slowly hobbled towards Snape's office to give him gleefuly the news.

"Professor," Filch sald slyly and bent, "I found yer wife, professor."

"Truly? Is she out of her chamber?" Snape asked and pretended to be uninterested.

"Yes sir. She is revolving round the castle."

"Filch." Snape gave him a withering look. "Have you drank again while being on duty?!"

"Nah sir," the old squib smirked again and his furry cat meowed in protest, "come with me and you'll see for your own eyes."

"Woooooohoooooooo!" She yelled with excitement as she was circling the castle for a hundredth time. The adrenaline was freely running in her veins. The serotonine which intermingled with it felt better than a hundred bars of chocolate. When Filch and Snape appeared at the gate to the castle, she whizzed past them towards the lake. Snape stretched his hand towards her and tried to catch her, but she was so fast she was already jumping into the lake. Snape turned slowly around and went back to his office. He scarcely ever tolerated foolishness, in fact, his wife was the only one whom could he see to jump into a lake in her clothes and not to scorn her for that. But she was obviously up to something. She was obviously coping with what happened, and he reasonably inferred that it would be wise to leave her to come to him on her own. For now.

"Hell, that felt great!" She vented her feelings and smiled. She spent some time just floating on the water and felt relieved and relaxed. After a long while, she finally got on her feet and wet as she was, she went slowly to the Forbidden Forest. She felt a sudden urge to explore all school grounds. The fact that water was dripping from her clothes and hair mattered little. When she delved into the forest, she started to feel immediately colder. She almost regretted at that moment that she went there, but she decided to continue on. After a mile or so, she began to shiver. She was really cold.

 _"_ _What are you doing here?"_ A voice greeted her. Her hair stood up on her head, but she forced herself into a calm answer.

"I just fancied a little walk." She said, looking straight in front of her into the open space.

 _"_ _Why did you want a walk?"_ The voice inquired.

"I felt desperate." She admitted and it was true.

 _"_ _Why were you feeling desperate?"_

"Because of what happened last night." She said.

 _"_ _I bet I know what are you curious about,"_ the voice said suggestively, _"you wonder how it would be if you didn't marry that man. Am I right? What if you broke up with him? What it would be like, to be with sweet tender Lupin?"_

"No! Stop it!" She cried and put her hands on her ears. It was the Spirit of Curiosity, one of the animal-human kinds of spirits that she was teaching her students about that year.

 _"_ _But what if she wouldn't find salvation even with him?"_ Asked the Spirit of Fear, _"what if no man in the wizarding world is destined to suit her? What if she made a mistake by rejecting the opportunity of marrying someone in her own tribe?"_

"Would you be as kind as to stop your disruption of my self-esteem?" Asked Sinéad bitterly.

 _"_ _Plus, everything here is about love, feelings, romance – how about your academic life, woman?! You are just a mediocre teacher, you didn't improve your teaching skills, in short, you are just selfish and not concerned about the opportunity of you failing as a teacher!"_ That was the Spirit of Failure.

"I was just so busy…" Sinéad attempted to defend herself, "I didn't have time to-"

 _"_ _Nonsense! Excuses!"_ Snapped the Spirit, _"you had plenty of time! You started educating yourself about the wizarding world just too late and are still pretty uncapable of standing up against any good wizard! What are you expecting, your husband to save your fat ass?!"_

"I thought about getting better in that, really, but I simply couldn't-" hot tears were now streaming down her cheeks and she fell on her knees, overwhelmed by her spirits.

 _"_ _Don't tease her, the poor woman!"_ The Spirit of Self-Pity was finally on her side, _"she had done so much and never expected anything in return!"_ Once he felt Sinéad's approval, he grew stronger and turned his back on her instantly, _"poor that husband of yours! Such a successful, great and skilled wizard, and he must have such a burden as you are!"_

"Won't there be anyone to help me?!" She wailed and buried her face into her hands.

"Anyone to help yeh? I'm 'ere to help yeh!" Hagrid boomed and muffled all the other voices. She opened her eyes, finding herself on her knees in the darkness of the forest that had been penetrated only by Hagrid's light.

"Oh, Hagrid!" She breathed out with relief as the half-giant pulled her onto her feet.

"Mrs. Snape, whatcher doin' in this part of th' forest? Somethin' naughty might'of caught yeh, ye know." Hagrid said good-naturedly and looked at her with his friendly eyes. "An' all wet as yer righ' now, yeh could've caught a bad flu, yeh could!" He cuckled and patted her back.

"Oh, Hagrid!" She said again, walking with him out of the forest, "what do you think about banshees?"

"Seriously misunderstood creatures, banshees are," Hagrid said thoughtfully, "never met one meself, but be sure of one thing, Mrs. Snape, no creatures are what people think they are. Take hippogriffs, for example. Seriously misunderstood creatures. I had one, Buckbeak was his name, and he was a mighty fellow…"

Sinéad smiled. She knew Buckbeak well from Sirius' letters.

"And wouldn't there be a creature which could be untameable, Hagrid?"

"Nope, s'far's I know," the gamekeeper said, "there are very few creatures that would actually want to harm yeh, ye know. Most of them are just misunderstood. Seriously misunderstood…"

Before she could notice, they were out of the forest.

"I'll leave yeh there, Mrs. Snape," Hagrid said boldly and smiled.

"What were you doing there, Hagrid?" She asked, smiling.

"I was lookin' for a place to– Nothing in particular actually." The half-giant cleared his throat, smiled again, waved his hand and slowly walked away.

She walked slowly into the castle and went into her own room. She longed to have a bath and to dress up into something nice and different. That was it. She no longer wanted to be the same. She felt she had to change her appearance, if nothing else. She felt she couldn't be the same innocent Sinéad who is as white as a lily and is unspoilt and ignorant. Now when she knew what she was. She longed to be marked. Now when she knew she was half-banshee, she felt a strange feeling, a feeling of perverseness, longing to be marginal like her husband. She longed to be ambiguous, to be neither completely good nor completely bad, for now she knew that in reality she was neither good nor bad as well. Her purity was just an illusion. She was dirty from the moment she was born. And she felt suddenly enlightened. This was the nature of the world. Everyone had a good side and a bad side inside, there was no point in denying that. So why had her husband been so unpopular? Because he wasn't explicitly good. Because he was bad also. These were the good guys, they all liked to pretend that none of them has any bad traits. They all appeared as good as angels. No one of them could be bad without a punishment. And one bad quality you possessed, you were feared and left behind. She began to hate that hypocrisy. She wanted no pretence, no mask. When she would be sad, she would cry. When she would be angry, she would shout and rage. There was no one to take into consideration. She didn't have to force herself to be patient, to be obliging, to be pure and to show disgust of her husband when she didn't feel any. Just because the good guys considered it necessary to condemn anyone that ever had slipped to the bad side. She knew well what the others were thinking about Snape. She knew well how they hated him just because he was a Death Eater, she knew how they were scorning him and how they were finding him guilty of any mischievous crime. Yes, just because he didn't hesitate to show his bad traits. She kicked away her dress and stepped into the hot bath.

"Screw you, Potter, and screw you all, one mustn't have a single fault to be 'good' for your measures." She said aloud.

"Sorry for telling you that you were a banshee. It was a secret and I promised not to tell. And sorry for ruining your wedding, I am truly terribly sorry." Severus Snape was leaning onto a wall behind the door, that's why she hadn't noticed him at first.

"Fine, fine." She sighed. "I guess I would have found out sooner or later. But I'm still pissed off by the wedding. I didn't imagine it that way."

"None of us did." Snape's dark eyes looked straight into hers.

"But I guess that would be a grudge that I would have to digest for some time. So I would like to ask you not to mention it at all." She growled, tired, and began to wash her arms and shoulders, sitting in a nearly full bath.

"Sure." He said with his deep voice, looking at her all the time. "What were you doing in the Forbidden Forest?"

"I don't know." She said and it was true.

"Do you feel alright?" He raised his eyebrows, still looking at her.

"I feel exhausted and lost in my head, so I don't know if that qualifies as alright."

"That surely doesn't. I'm glad that you are finally honest. You decided to throw away your pretence, huh?"

"You talk as if you weren't in my head all day, anxiously observing my thoughts." She said and sank under the water, washing her hair.

"I'm astonished by the extent of your sincerity." Snape said and sat at the rim of the bath.

"I want to have a new beginning, Severus." She said when she got above the surface of the water again. "I decided what I wanted to do."

"I'm all ears."

"I want to help you to protect the wizarding world. I want to become a double agent, just as you are." She said simply, as if she were saying what she wanted for dinner. He was staring at her. At her open-ness, at her nudity, at her bravery with which she made up her mind. She was resolute and level-headed. It wasn't a suicide attempt, as far as he could tell.

"Why aren't you saying anything? Say something!" She said softly. He knelt beside the tub.

"Don't say that, love. You know you don't want that. And you know I don't want you to do that. You will be at home, with our children-"

"But I want that, Severus. This is the real way for me to help. Besides, you said you didn't want children."

"For the time being, dear. After the war, I'd be more than willing-"

"But we don't know if there's a war, Severus. We don't know when it ends. When it ends, we both might be dead."

"And that's why I don't want you to do that-"

"Then I would be alone, Severus. Always. There won't be any kids. As long as you'd be a double-agent and as long as you'd continue to play your role in this war. It's all or nothing, Severus."

"Precisely. And if I ever-" There was great pain in his face now. "If I ever think of the possibilty that I would lose you- I'd lose all-"

"But if I stayed aside," Sinéad's green eyes looked directly at him, "I'd have nothing. There's no promise of children, Severus. No promise of a tomorrow. No promise for anything. And the danger is equal no matter what do we do. This way, we could at least save someone's life."

"But you could save someone's life even if you stayed aside!"

"Whose?"

"Yours."

"Can't you see, Severus? I am no longer concerned about my life. I am concerned about the lives of others."

"Then why can't you stay with the Order of the Phoenix? You could continue your support for Potter there, and you could save more lives than yours, if that's what matters to you."

"That's not possible." She said, "have you forgotten your role? How it would look if your wife was openly helping the Order? No wife of a Death Eater stays with the good ones, Sev. Voldemort-"

"Don't say that name!"

"The Dark Lord could never trust you fully if I stayed aside, or if I stayed with Dumbledore. We have to get it work, Severus. I have to join you in the Death Eaters' lines. Only then will he trust you fully and your- our plan could be successful."

"You are way more cleverer than I could think." He breathed out and kissed her hand passionately. She smiled, or rather half-smirked, and rose from the bath. Water was dripping from her body into the tub. She entangled her arms around her husband's neck and gave him a long, passionate kiss, pressing her wet body towards his.

"So you just decided not to use any towels today?" He whispered gently. All his clothes got soaked up. He was kissing her back, hugging her tight around her wet waist.

"I just can't stop loving you…" She whispered and gently bit his ear.

"And I can't stop caring about you…" He murmured into her ear and as her quick fingers began to undo the buttons of the jacket on his neck, he began helping her with the trouser button.

"Put on your clothes now," he said when they were finished, "Dumbledore wants to see you."

So she did as he said and went to Dumbledore's office.

"These are hard times that lie ahead," Dumbledore greeted her, "so I'm glad people are managing to find their way to each other again."

She blushed when she remembered Dumbledore's omnisciency regarding the castle, but didn't say a word aloud.

"So I understand that you are willing to join Severus' rank? That you would like to help him in his double-agent mission?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, sir." She said firmly.

"You've changed, Sinéad." Dumbledore said, looking at her through the tips of the rims of the glasses. "Recently, I noticed, you are more self-aware and you are definitely braver."

"I wouldn't say that I'm braver, sir." Said Sinéad.

"And that's exactly what makes you brave." Dumbledore smiled. "Do I have to stress the dangerousness of this task you wished to undertake? Do I have to remind you that you both can be killed in any second, that in dark times, you'll be the dark ones, the guilty ones, the responsible ones, the ones that the whole world will blame? Do I have to tell you now that you will be hated, and yes, hated to a great extent, that you will have no safe place and no refuge except for each other's arms? Do you want me to tell you all that?"

"No, sir." She said, "I will definitely find that by myself."

"Don't forget, Sinéad, that from now on, you will be looking Death directly in the face. Yes… Looking Lord Voldemort in the eye is hardly bearable…" She shivered when she remembered that it was just yesterday she did so, and clenched her fists.

"I'll do anything to help the world, sir." She said firmly.

"I understand. I will introduce you to the Order of the Phoenix tomorrow." Dumbledore said and extracted another memory from his head.

She went straight to her room. She took all the dresses she had and threw them into a box, and she locked it. That's my past now, she said to herself, locked and hidden. I need a bunch of new clothes. With a firm step, she went out to the afternoon sun and started her motorbike. She was going to fly to Diagon Alley.

"Sinéad!" She heard a voice, just as she was going out of Yvonne Rouge, a famous shop of cosmetics she fell in love with. She bought there some makeup, she had had hardly any before. She already had half a dozen of new dresses in a big paper bag hanging on her arm. She turned around. It was Remus, rushing towards her from the opposite side of the street, shaking her hand cordially, blushing, and in one moment, hugging her sincerely in a warm embrace.

"Merlin's beard, Sinéad, I haven't seen you for ages! Where have you been, what have you done?" He laughed.

"Usual things, Remus, I was in Hogwarts, teaching my classes, helping the students… Nothing unusual." She smiled and felt great by his warm welcome.

"Wouldn't you like to go for a butterbeer with me? I'd like to… get in touch with you again." He smiled.

"Well, Remus, I guess I should be heading back now, I can't now go for a butterbeer with anyone I like, you see, now that I'm married, Remus." She said just as a side fact and smiled. Her smile instantly vanished when she saw his devastated look. Now she hated the light tone with which she had said it.

"Married?" He whispered, any hope fading away from his face as well as the natural colour of it. "Married?! To whom? Do I know him?!"

"Yes, ehm, I guess you do," she said now with great unease, "to Severus Snape."

"That greasy bastard!" Lupin breathed out and got green with jealousy. "He must have forced you- I swear I'll-"

"No, Remus," she said calmly, putting her hand onto his jacket, "I did so by my own choice."

"Well, so, uhm, I guess that's fine then," he said with great tension in his voice, looking at the tips of his shoes and pulling his tie nervously, "good for you. Happy marriage."

She smiled at him and continued to walk on her own path.

"The butterbeer- I mean if you'd still fancied- I mean Tonks will be with us anyway." He shouted after her and pointed with his hand to a young pink haired witch who was standing a few metres aside, looking at Quidditch broomsticks in the window. When he saw Sinéad's wide smile spreading all over her face, he smiled and blushed again. When Tonks caught Remus' eyes fixed upon her, she came closer and extended her hand towards Sinéad with a smile.

"Tonks, this is Sinéad Uí- this is Mrs. Snape." Lupin shivered when he was presenting Sinéad by her new name.

"Hello! I'm Tonks."

"Lovely to meet you, Tonks. I'm Sinéad."

"Sinéad? That's pretty unusual name. Wait, are you married to-"

"Severus Snape." Sinéad finished Tonks' sentence and started to feel ashamed because of her husband's name. Everybody was asking about it!

"Oooch! I mean, that one! You could tell he wouldn't like to marry anyone, could you?" Tonks said jovially and Sinéad smiled. She liked the new witch very much. She seemed to be sincere.

"Well, actually, my first name is Nymphadora, but no one ever calls me that. I hate it." Said Tonks just as they were delving into the Leaky Cauldron.

"Why do you hate it?" Sinéad asked kindly. "I think it's very pretty!"

"See, Nymphadora, even Mrs. Snape thinks it's pretty!"

"Don't call me Mrs. Snape, Remus!"

"Don't call me Nyphadora!"

"But you could shorten it to Dora, and that's even prettier!"

"See, Dora, Mrs. Snape thinks the short version is even prettier!"

Remus immediately received two violent kicks from both of the ladies, one to each shin. He howled because it hurt him very much.

"See, Tonks, I didn't know it's the full moon already!" Sinéad said, tears of laughter in her eyes. Tonks was slapping her thigh with her right hand and brayed like a donkey, uncapable of normal laughter.

"I missed the fun with you, Sinéad." Remus looked at her with his grey eyes and smiled. She touched his hand. "I missed you too, Remus."

"How long have you known each other?" Tonks was interested.

"I guess for two years or so, we've worked together." Said Sinéad.

"We used to have loads and loads of fun." Remus nodded.

"How was Remus as a colleague?" Tonks wanted to know.

"He was pretty good actually, the kids liked him and he was always ready to help." Sinéad said, and Remus blushed. They continued to chat in the similar manner. They talked about the subject Sinéad was teaching, about her role in the castle, about Lupin's and Tonk's tasks as the members of the Order… Sinéad felt so great, and so relaxed. When Remus went to see a man about the dog, Tonks bent closer to Sinéad and whispered:

"He's so in love with you, you know."

"I know that, Tonks." Sinéad said with a pain in her voice.

"I could tell that he's in love with someone from the moment I got to know him better." Tonks said and blushed.

"Are you in love with him, Tonks?" Sinéad asked intuitively. The witch nodded.

"And you- you don't feel anything towards him, do you?" Tonks asked. "You wouldn't have married Snape if you did, would you?"

Sinéad hesitated for a second, but then she answered firmly: "No, I don't and I wouldn't."

"That's good. That's great. You did well to go with him for a drink, Sinéad, when he found out out there that you were married, it nearly stopped his heart beating, you know. You could at least show him that you would like to stay friends still."

"I hope so. And I hope he will shortly overcome the emotional phase with me and fall in love with you." Sinéad smiled, and it was a true smile. There was nothing more she would desire on Tonks' behalf.

"Where have you been?" Asked Severus when she got very late at night into her room at Hogwarts.

"Having a pint with friends." She said, putting the numerous bags on the ground. "Must you spy at me so much?"

"With that werewolf?" He said with contempt in his voice.

"Yes, and with another friend." She said coldly.

"Seems like you enjoyed yourself well." Her husband said spitefully.

"Yes, I did." She sad, and then looked him straight into his black eyes with her sharp green ones. "And you will never ever forbid me to see my friends, just as I don't forbid you to see yours."

She hoped she had said that firmly enough to set the boundaries right.

Next day, she dressed up in a different manner than she had always done up to that day. She plaited herself a relaxed fishtail, putting an elegant black headband into her hair. She put on a new dress she bought: an emerald high-low simpler type with a bit of black embroidery and laces and long tight black sleeves and a v-collar. This one was the most mature type of dress she had ever worn, decent but still appropriate for an adult. She also used a bit of mascara and red lipstick.

"I can't stop being amazed." Her husband commented and smiled when she touched his fore-arm lightly, ready to be apparated into the Order's meeting. When she opened her eyes again, she found herself in a room she'd never been to before. It was a long hall lighted by a giant chandelier and decorated walls. There were tapestries, and ancient-looking pictures. Sinéad felt like being to a chateau (she hadn't really been to a chateau before, she only read in books how beautiful those chateaus were).

"It's beautiful…" She breathed out but immediately coughed, "and dusty!"

"It's a useless old hovel, if you want to have my opinion." Sirius Black was leaning on a doorframe, his dark eyes glistening in the darkness and a sly smile on. It wasn't the dirty ragged prisoner she had seen last time: it was an elegant clean gentleman, with his hair combed and his wizarding suit spick-and-span.

"Sirius!" She smiled widely and despite her attempts to create a level-headed and cool appearance, she jumped at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Snape got green.

"Last time I saw you you were an innocent little girl, Mrs. Snape," Sirius said warmly, his eyes still sparkling, and gently took her hand and kissed its back.

"How awfully kind of you, Sirius, please, let us be on a first-name basis, as we used to do in the peak of our friendship." She smiled and withdrew her hand slowly.

"You haven't changed a bit, Snivellus." Murmured Sirius when they were passing him by into the kitchen. Snape turned round and was about to spit an offence at him, when Sinéad interfered.

"Sirius, it's not nice of you as a host to insult your guests." Said Sinéad strictly, but then smiled and said: "Promise you won't be unpleasant again and I might forgive you."

"Forgiveness by such a lady is all I could wish for." He smiled and overcame an urge to kiss her hand again. When they were walking down the stairs into the kitchen, she said, barely audibly: "Hold your tongue too, Severus. I won't have any rows today or any day in the future. You are going to bear my company."

Snape sighed and had to admit that the real power of wives had been, up to that day, underestimated. They make wonderful commanders and they give their orders so tenderly that barely any man can resist them. Still, he couldn't help to have a dig at Sirius, when they were all sitting down and the creaking of chairs was deafening: "Having changed our prisoner's outfit, have we, Black? This one is not so stinky, I reckon?"

Sirius was just about to counter-attack when he noticed Sinéad's green eyes looking straight at him over her husband's profile, so he just smiled at her, gritted his teeth and kicked Snivellus under the table. Unfortunately, the kick was received by Kingsley Shacklebolt who gave Sirius a very odd look and continued in taking long hard looks at Sinéad. Which was what everyone else present was doing. They were all Aurors or ex-members, they knew one another well, but no one has ever heard of Sinéad, a strange ginger-haired elegantly-dressed lady sitting next to Severus Snape in a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix.

"Welcome to our first ever session of the new Order." Dumbledore began with a smile. "A lot of faces are new, a lot of faces are already well known to a great number of us who had the pleasure of fighting Voldemort fifteen years ago. I would like to say to each and every one of you, welcome. Our situation is hard, dear colleagues. Lord Voldemort again rose to his power two days ago. Who doesn't fully to one hundred percent believe what I've just said, please stand up and leave. Cedric Diggory's dead body is more than a sufficient proof, even more sufficient than a "little boy's tale" as some say. You have the power now of standing up, walking away, and never having to fight for your own lives again."

A few witches and wizards moved on a bit hesitatingly, but no one got up.

"How can you be so sure that the boy hasn't killed Diggory by himself, Dumbledore? Eternal glory and ten thousand galleons, that's what everyone would want, isn't it?" A middle-aged wizard asked with a slight contempt in his voice.

"Good question, Dedalus," Dumbledore said. "Please raise your hands, those of you, who knew Harry Potter last year in the summer."

Everyone raised their hands.

"You see," Dumbledore continued, "all of you knew him. Why would he compete for a reputation he already has?"

There was deafening silence.

"Therefore, I assume that the question of believing in the necessity of the Order to be formed as well as the conviction of whom our common enemy is has been answered." Dumbledore said, "now I would like to welcome a few new members of the Order. Bill Weasley!"

A young red-haired gentleman waved his hand and smiled at Sinéad. He was extremely handsome.

"Molly Weasley!" The chubby Weasley mummy smiled cordially.

"Arthur Weasley!" Mr. Weasley blushed.

"Charlie Weasley!"

"How many children do the Weasleys have?" Sinéad whispered to Severus.

"Seven." He hissed back with contempt.

"Not a bad number!" She said with a chuckle and patted the back of his forearm, as if she wanted to say: "Don't be so spiteful, husband of mine!"

"Kingsley Shacklebolt!" A black-skinned man grinned, and his white teeth shone in the dim light of the kitchen. Sinéad stared at him. She had never seen a dark-skinned person before. But a few seconds later, she reminded herself not to be so cheeky and ill-mannered so as to stare at the man as rudely as she did. He was a human being just as everyone else. And she suddenly realised he was very handsome. He seemed to be nice and kind. She felt attracted by him and made up her mind to become his friend. Not for his appearance, for his soul. For, as all readers surely remmeber, she was capable of reading people's souls.

"Nymphadora Tonks!" A yellow-haired witch stood up, smiled, and said very loudly: "Thank you, just Tonks."

"Oh, forgive me, I forgot," Dumbledore laughed, "just Tonks."

"Hestia Jones!" A young, black-haired woman with pink cheeks smiled.

"Minerva McGonnagall!" Minerva smiled, her dimples amiably visible in the dim light from the fireplace.

"And finally," Dumbledore looked at Sinéad and smiled, "there's a young woman whom is totally unrelated to the wizarding world, however, she wished to join the Order too."

Everyone's eyes were popped out and everybody stared at Sinéad.

"I wouldn't say unrelated, Dumbledore," Snape said coldly, "she's married to me, after all."

"Yes, just as Severus humbly pointed out, she is married to one of the members, however, she's not a witch herself. I'll leave the rest on Sinéad; may she explain however she chooses." Dumbledore smiled and pointed with his hand at Sinéad, who stood slowly up.

"I think you have rather complicated it than simplified it, Albus," she said softly and looked around, "hello everyone. I know what are you all staring at. Yes, I'm not a witch. I'm half-banshee. Half-muggle, half-banshee. I'm a professor at Hogwarts School."

Everyone stared even more. A few lower jaws fell on the floor.

"Sorry to be so frank Dumbledore, but we don't want any freaks in this serious establishment." Said Moody. "We don't need anyone who cannot fight."

"What did you say?!" Snape, Lupin and Black boomed with one voice and sprang up.

Before Dumbledore could step in, Sinéad said to the standing men: "Gentlemen, get back to your seats please. I assure you, Alastor, I'm neither more freakish nor less willing to fight than anyone else. This is who I am. I'm still getting to know my banshee identity which I discovered very recently myself, but I have to make clear one thing, I am not used to giving up. I'll work as hard as it requires me to figure out what to do. For all whom do not know me well yet – I teach Mythology, a new subject established by Professor Dumbledore two years ago. Its primary concern is to understand nature and its spirits. I can control natural elements and change the weather only by talking to the Spirits. I can manipulate with animal and human emotions too, however, this field I have not yet investigated very much."

"Does your banshee part affect you somehow?" Hestia asked.

"Firstly, I would like to make clear an obvious error that the wizarding folk has made with the classification of Banshees." Sinéad said and started pacing round the room, leaving the other people as innocent as pupils in a school, observing her lecture with a great interest. "In all your books, you've made a point about banshees being deadly creatures whose shriek can instantly kill you. This is, forgive me, a bit retrogressive thought. My tribe of indigenous population of Ireland from which I come has observed banshees very very closely, because, the same as us, they are very closely attached to nature and to human psyche as such. The truth is that a banshee is not a killer – she's a keener. Familiar with that word? I thought so. A keener means a death lamenter. Plainly speaking – when someone is about to die, the banshee comes from the Other World, the Spirit World, to escort him to the Other Side. She's not a disaster, she's a helper. She helps the person not to be alone on this dangerous transit. Physically, however, she emerges from the nature – from a forest, basically – and emanates most terrifying and unpleasant shrill sounds which can be heard into a vicinity of several miles and reportedly, this is the worst sound that exists on Earth. This is not to kill anyone – to wipe off the worst mistake the wizarding world has made about banshees – due to the most important fact: the one whom is about to die cannot hear the shriek. The others can, however, and this is to make them aware that Death is coming and to be prepared. She's a Death messenger. The sound is terrible, but harmless. However, be sure of one thing. It's irreversible. When a banshee keens, the Death is on its way. There's no way to deny that. So, to your question Hestia, I've always been a good keener, I can travel to the Spirit World – however, just mentally, not physically, and not to the Other World, either. As far as I can tell. And a few days ago, I managed to sense Death for the first time. My skills are just about to be developed to their full extent."

Everyone stared at her, amazed.

"Lets make a poll." Dumbledore said. "Who doesn't want Sinéad to be a part of the Order?"

Alastor Moody raised his hand. After him Kingsley Shacklebolt, Dedalus Diggle, Elphias Doge, Emmeline Vance, Sturgis Podmore and Mundungus Fletcher.

"And who is for accepting her into the Order?"

Severus, Remus, Sirius, Tonks, Molly, Arthur, Bill, Hagrid, Minerva and Charlie raised their hands. After some hesitation, Hestia Jones joined them.

"That's settled, if my counting is not mistaken." Dumbledore smiled at Sinéad. She won. She could be a part of the Order!

"Thank you, Professor. As a fresh new member, I would like to suggest something." Sinéad said.

"What is it?" Moody growled.

"I would like all of us to hold a minute of silence for all the members of the first Order whom were all defeated in the First Wizarding War and gave their lives for our temporal safety. This is the first meeting of the Order after fifteen years, after all." She said. They all found that idea very thoughful, so they did as she said.

Sinéad spent the whole summer cleaning the house where they lived. Severus was brewing new potions for his stock all the time and once, he invited her to help him to prepare them. He taught her how to use the knife to crush ingredients when necessary. How to chop the roots, how to squeeze, how to slice. He taught her about the moments when to stir the potions, when to put it away from the fire, how to watch them when they are silently simmering. And she was excited to learn it. He taught her just the very basics, so that she could be useful to him when he would need her to keep an eye on a potion. He also arranged her lessons of a muggle-styled Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"I know you've always wanted to teach that subject." She smiled at him kindly. "Are you particularly interested?"

"Partly." He said. "It fascinates me… Power makes me drunk, yes, Sinéad, there's no reason to deny it… However, until now I've been as wise as to avoid the power of magic to consume me."

"Do you think he's consumed? The Dark Lord?" She asked.

"I pretty much think so."

"When you become consumed, do you become evil, Severus?"

"Perhaps," he thought aloud, "you have to find a way to stay human… In order not to get consumed."

"Through love, Severus?"

"Yes…" He breathed out and looked at her with his black, deep eyes.

"I love you." She said and her green eyes imbibed his. "I haven't told you for quite a long time."

"I've been worried whether you still did…" He touched her cheek with his long fingers.

"Our task has nothing to do with it." She said, "and if you are meant to die in this task, I'll die with you."

"Don't say that, Sinéad, don't say that…" He mumbled.

"Sorry, Severus. Didn't want to upset you." She said.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"I'll be casting spells at you and you'll try to defend yourself as best as you can." She tried to get ready, but he was already firing non-verbal spells at her. She jumped aside for a while, then remembered her training with Potter and tried to sync her energy with the energy of the spell. After some more dodging, she spinned around and, unbelievable as it seemed, her hands grabbed the spell like a rope and turning it around, threw it back at Severus. He didn't absolutely anticipate that, so the spell hit him into his chest and he flew back a few metres and crashed into a wall.

"Merlin's beard! Severus, are you okay?" She cried, and run to the ruins of the bookshelf in their living room.

"Why didn't you warn me you wanted to use my own spells against me?" He murmured, unburying himself from a pile of wood and books.

"I didn't know that. Did you think you were just going to make me jump and run without getting involved."

He looked at her for a second, his face expressionless: "Yes I did actually."

"That was quite cowardish, Sinéad, do you realise that?" He said when he straightened up again.

"I know." She whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Prepare yourself!" Severus said, pointing with his wand at her again, having a very grave expression on his face again, "I haven't finished with you!"


	21. Dodging Dolores

**21**

 **Dodging Dolores**

"More!"

"Yes!"

Severus was still firing spells at her. She was really tired, but continued to deflect them or to turn them against him.

"We're going to get a little bit sadistic, shall we?" He smirked and pointed at her with his wand.

"Imperio!"

She tried to turn his curse against him, but this one was different. The energy level was different. She couldn't jump aside. It was too late. He succeeded in using an Unforgivable curse on her. When she regained her conscience, she heard his voice:

"And be grateful that I used the mildest one."

She gritted her teeth and with stood up again, struggling. Her legs were shaking and her mind didn't want to fight anymore.

"Control yourself!" Her husband was extremely hard on her. "In real battle you'd have no time to rest!"

She forced her mind to concentrate again, and every cell in her body was revolting.

"There's a reason…" She was panting when she was jumping aside, "there's a reason… that the Unforgivable curses are different… Do you have to implore greater energy?"

"I wouldn't say energy, they certainly demand higher emotional skill of the wizard."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not as simple as pouring yourself a glass of water. They require emotional determination, the determination to pollute your soul with the darkest of magic."

"Maybe there's no way of controlling the Unforgivable curses…" Sinéad thought, "maybe you'd have to become a really bad person to divert them."

So for the time being, she decided not to manipulate the Unforgivable curses.

"To your first task, Sinéad." Dumbledore connected the tips of his fingers and looked at the woman through the rims of his glasses. They were sitting in the kitchen of Grimmauld place and everyone went to their beds.

"Sir?" She asked.

"Are you afraid?" He asked.

After a slight hesitation, she said: "No."

"I can see that you doubted it for a second?"

"No, sir. I just chose not to be afraid."

"Wise decision. Here, there's something more waiting for you than Lord Voldemort, Sinéad. Death, and injury, misery and suffering. A fight is never a pleasant thing. Are you sure again that you want to undergo this?"

"Yes."

"So what can you tell me about the spirits you work with again?"

"There are many of them, sir. The Spirits of Nature, of Animals, of Human Beings, the latter two cathegories representing more distinct human and animal features of character than let's say, particular personalities. In every cathegory, you could find good and evil ones."

"Are these easily accessed?"

"Not really, sir. It requires a special training to even endure their presence. Last year, Severus– my husband had to undergo at least three months of intensive individual training before he could even be in their presence."

"So we could cross them out as an opportunity for Voldemort to gain more power?"

"I can't be so definite, sir. This ability is unique, sir. It takes years of practise. Although, I am ignorant of any other wizards who would so deliberately penetrate into the Spirit World, we must not be so definite. Penetrations don't usually leave traces."

"So you can access those spirits only by accessing the Spirit World?"

"Yes."

"Are there some that could penetrate into our human world?"

"Yes, sir, banshees for example–" She immediately realised her mistake and bit her lip. She was still talking about them as them, although she knew she was one of them. That she had been one of them since the beginning of her time here on Earth.

"You don't have to be afraid of your identity, Sinéad." Dumbledore whispered softly.

"I'm not afraid in the literal sense of the word, sir," she said and turned purple, "I still have difficulties when I talk about them– you see, in general conversation, it's always them, it's never us… I never considered myself to belong there for a second…"

"And that is only right, Sinéad." He said softly. "Any human being has the right to choose his or her identity. You can disregard biological or past connections if you wish to, it is your identity and you can deal with people however you want."

"So when I'm only part human… I can choose to be a human entirely? I don't have to remind myself that I'm a– I'm a– half-breed?"

"You're not only part human," he took both her hands, "you are only part banshee and fully half-human. Even though you could tell objectively that those two halves are even, who decides what's objective? You tell people what to think of you, don't forget that. Therefore, you can choose one of the parts to be your whole."

"Even though it's just one half of me?" She said in a tight voice.

"Who says that the mother and father give exactly half and half? Physically it might be so, but concerning features and abilities and brains, who gives which? The material substance isn't important, Sinéad, it's important what you have inside it." He knocked with the tip of his finger onto her forehead.

"Take Severus for example. You could say that he's a half-Death Eater, half-member of the Order of the Phoenix. You could say that he is never loyal to any party. But from what you and I both share as common knowledge, we know he is only one-sided. Because he chose it to be so, and it doesn't really matter what are people thinking of him. He is trusted and he is being dealt fully as our member, and this is what counts. Never mind people, Sinéad."

She smiled and her liking of the old man penetrated her veins.

"There are various other creatures," she said, "mainly fairies, piseogs, sometimes púcas. They are very selfish, I've never seen them act on someone else's orders. These can penetrate into human world and cause damage."

"Is the damage serious?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, just bad luck, some abductions or obsessions resulting into physical or mental damage of the person involved, but it's always an individual case, no creature of the before-mentioned would work in groups with others to cause more severe damage. They do harm mainly for their own amusement, in fact." She said.

"I see." Dumbledore said.

"And as I said," she continued, "it's not so easy to approach such creature and not to be possessed by it instantly. I would consider it almost impossible that Voldemort could do it. Unless–"

"Unless?"

"Unless he would use me of course." She swallowed and looked at Dumbledore.

"And that is exactly why I must deal with you and Severus separately, personally, secretly and in a very very dependable manner. We have to have absolute trust in one another. You're a weapon, Sinéad, and now you decided to be double-edged. It will be hard, Sinéad, very hard… Voldemort must have a feeling that you are acting upon his orders, meanwhile you'll consult everything with me and together, we will think of a way how to fulfil his orders but promote our plans and intentions at the same time. It will be like dancing on hot coals, Sinéad, you realise that?"

"Yes, sir." She said and looked into her lap.

"Good. So what I want you to do is to visit these creatures and tell them something about not trusting any wizard at all, you get it?"

"Yes." She said and went outside. She had an important job to do.

"Miss Uí Bríain! Didn't think I might run into you here!" Harry said when greeting Sinéad in the entrance hall in Sirius Black's house on Grimmauld Place.

"I'm doing things for the Order, Harry." She smiled weakly. She looked changed, as Harry noticed. Older, more mature, more woman-like and less flamboyant and nutty.

"What things?" He asked.

"You know, things that are necessary to be done," she smiled and obviously didn't want to talk about any details.

"Why can everyone do things for the Order, even you, and I must stay aside?!" He burst out with anger.

"What did you mean by that, even you?" She asked sharply, her green eyes narrowing.

"You're a banshee, not a wizard." He said angrily.

"And since when is the Order a wizard-only society?" She answered sharply and folded her hands. "If you have such impression, you should probably excommunicate Lupin and Hagrid as well, shouldn't you?! Mind where you stick your nose Potter!"

Harry went sulkily upstairs.

"Sorry for my godson," she heard Sirius' voice, "he's just so sad he cannot fight too."

"I don't know what's up with him," said Mrs. Snape, "these are dark times, Sirius. Your godson should take greater care of his tongue. One never knows what words can bring."

"That's definitely true," said Sirius, "you're looking really dreadful tonight."

"Thank you, Sirius." She smirked and yawned: "I desperately need some sleep."

"So how did it go? The infiltration into the dark spirits circles."

"It was hideous. But successful."

"What did you tell them?" Asked Sirius, gently took her arm and led her aside.

"That they aren't going to gain any profit by cooperating with the Dark Lord. That any wizard could use them for his own pleasure and that they should mind their own interests."

"Didn't you try to convince them to help Dumbledore?"

"Sirius, these are dark devilish creatures. A man with a silver beard protecting a teenage boy is hardly any satisfaction for them. The things that the Dark Lord can give them are much greater. Souls to feed on, minds to torture, bodies to consume. We cannot provide any of this. So let them be unbiased at least. For the time being, I managed to convince them to mind their own will and pleasure. But they are bloody devilish creatures. They will attack whenever they please. May it not be at the Dark Lord's command at least." She shivered. "I feel hideous. Sirius, give me something to drink."

"Sure." He quickly rushed into the kitchen and Sinéad followed him. "A glass of water, or pumpkin juice?"

"I need some alcohol in my veins, Sirius."

"I still wonder," he smiled as he poured her glass of whiskey, "why hadn't you turned an alcoholic yet? With such a horrible husband."

"A lady has her ways." She smiled and sank the glass at one go.

"Wow, maybe I'll manage to relieve you of your distress now," chuckled Sirius and poured her another glass. She took it gratefully. He poured one for himself, too. They were sitting next to each other in the kitchen, Molly and others went to bed a long ago. He hugged her from behind.

"Sinéad, you don't know how much I regret that you got married. Such a waste!"

"He's a good man, Sirius."

"Really? I don't think so. You've to admit that he's a-" Sirius hiccuped, "nutty greasy oddballish arsehole."

"Sirius!" She gasped and pushed him away from her personal space, "just because he's not good to you doesn't mean he's–"

"But he's never good to anyone!"

"And how can you tell?!"

Their voices were rather argumentative than chatty.

"Tell me something."

"What?!"

"Would you've married me if I asked you?"

"How– Why– Why are you asking me such questions?!"

"I just want to know." Sirius smiled.

"I first had to be in love with you."

"Were you in love with him?!"

She didn't answer. Instead, she got up, put on her light cloak and went outside into the summer darkness.

"What are you doing?!" He snapped and grabbed her arm. She gave him a wild withering look, and suddenly she looked like a real banshee. He recoiled and she marched straight into the night.

"Sinéad, where are you—!" He called after her, but she went away. He cursed under his breath, took a piece of parchment and scribbled a few words in a haste.

She walked through central London. Through streets, city lights, crossroads. She didn't look where she was going, the veil of tears made her sight blurred and watery. People were casting her odd looks, they thought she was returning from some masquerade ball. When she reached St. James' Park, she couldn't take it any longer. She delved deep inside, sat onto the kerb and started crying in a long, monotonous wail. She couldn't understand it. All the time, she had to fight for who she was, or for her choices. She hadn't experienced such difficulties in her home tribe. Why is this world so cruel to people, she thought. Why must I endure all this, she thought. Had I really made such a choice? She wondered. Had I really chosen someone with whom I have to constantly fight not only for his existence and rights, but even for mine? Even for those that I didn't have to fight for before? No teens were questioning me before, she sobbed, even my friends were not questioning me when I was single. Why were there lifts between her and Sirius? Why weren't they tolerant friends anymore?

"I know it's hard…" She heard a soft, grumbly voice. She turned her head slightly. There was Severus sitting next to her on the kerb. She didn't say anything. He just saw her eyes, her beautiful green big eyes, twisted in agony and wet with tears. He covered her with his large cloak.

"Let's go home. You can tell me there what happened." He whispered. She clutched to his arm like a five year old and they vanished together.

"I will refrain from any commentary whatsoever, because I would have to be very rude." Snape said with his folded hands when they were sitting in their living room in Cokeworth. "You know that I do not tolerate foolishness."

"I know." She whispered.

"Black has been a swine, in fact he never ceased to be, but you shouldn't have drank with him."

"I know." She said, barely audibly.

"I'm saying this just because, perhaps, you might be oblivious of the fact that, unlike at your home village, here when men drink they lose boundaries." Severus continued, his cold eyes fixed at her trembling lips. "I would think that you've learned your lesson from that disgusting Muggle last summer, but apparently," he sighed, "not."

"Are you saying that Sirius might lose boundaries?"

"I'm only saying that interrogating you why you married me and insulting me could perhaps be one of many steps he could take." He bent close to her. He didn't intend to be harsh with her, but he needed to reprimand her a bit. "You must realise…" He growled. "Not everybody here is your friend, Sinéad… People change, and those that were with you at the beginning might not be with you at the end."

"I just thought…" She gasped sobbingly, "that there might be values that you respect as well as us… Faith, honour, comradeship…"

"In times of prosperity maybe, but i seriously doubt it even then," he smirked spitefully, "definitely not in times of war."

"Is this war, Severus? Are we on a brink of decay?"

He bent close to her again. She could feel his very personal smell and his hooked nose was just a few centimetres from hers. His eyes remained cold, different to those which he had in times of personal comfort and pleasure.

"Yes." He growled slowly again and the hair at the back of her head stood up.

You are just lucky that Black had enough conscience in himself that he immediately warned me when you left Grimmauld place." He said, detouring his eyes aside.

She swallowed her tears and said in a trembling weepy voice: "There's something you ought to know."

He turned sharply towards her, suspecting another trouble with Black.

"The Potter boy is different." She said in an unaffectionate manner which pleased him very much. He had a crooked smile now.

"So now he's the Potter boy, huh? Not our dear sweet Harry?"

"Stop condemning me, Severus." She said weakly. "He's different. His mind is different. Dumbledore ought to know."

"I bet he already knows." Said her husband and drew up a piece of parchment, "just for reference, what is it?"

"He's full of anger. He definitely used to be nicer." She began, "he's like a walking Boggart. Something about his mindset changed too."

"Headmaster assumes," Snape began slowly, "that Potter might be… dangerous. With the circumstances given…"

"That his mind could be possessed by the Dark Lord?"

"Indeed. Would it be possible for you to find out?" Asked her husband, still bent over the message he was writting for Dumbledore.

"I don't think– I don't know." She said. "It's an unusual conundrum."

He looked at her questioningly.

"I've never distinguished the parts of a human mind before, I've never worked with the fact that the feelings and emotions that are there could be of somebody else." She said.

"Is that the only thing you can see? Feelings and emotions?"

"Yes. There's Legillimency for the rest, isn't it?"

"Indeed, but just as you say… It's a very difficult matter. Who knows if Potter's mind wouldn't explode if there were two people digging in it, or if the Dark Lord discovered my presence in his head, that would be an awful lot of explaining…"

"Suppose we'll just leave it?"

"Suppose we'll do."

She was on patrol on the dark spirits all the time, she didn't have time to care about any other person's opinions too much. She also managed to tidy the house and to re-paint it, and it finally looked nice and welcoming. For her it was a way to exercise and relax after the exhausting Order work.

"It's a pity that we're leaving the house." She said. "Just when it looks a bit homey."

Severus was flying their suitcases from the upper floor with his wand and murmured: "You could be back sooner than you think."

"Why?"

"Look," he turned to her, "Dumbledore wanted me to speak to you about this. This year, a Ministry-imposed Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is going to be there and she's a bitch, just from what I've heard. You must be careful." He looked her into her eyes. "She loathes half-breeds."

"Half-breeds!" She gasped and a cup from which she was drinking her tea slipped through her fingers. "Half-breeds?! What am I, a dragon with human head?!"

"Don't yell at me." He snapped grumpily. "I'm just conveying the message. I know you're not a half-breed." He smirked spitefully. "But because of her, Lupin was unable to find any job for two years–"

"That's HIDEOUS!" She raged, her green eyes pricking him through like a pair of skewers.

"DON'T YELL AT ME!" He shouted, marched towards her and grasped her shoulders: "Just promise me… Promise me you'll be careful. Hold your tongue, be ironic or sarcasstic or whatever, just don't give her any reason to sack you. Please."

This was the first time when Severus was actually pleading.

"What do we do?" She asked, looking across his shoulder into the distance. She felt uncomfortable because of his sudden change of tone.

"I don't know."

"The staff already knows I'm half-banshee." She murmured and put her hair behind her right ear nervously. "Could we prohibit them mentioning it to her?"

"That'll only attract attention." He said. "Don't let's mention it at all. Pray any of the staff won't blab it to her."

"Yeah." She nodded. "Let's act like nothing's going on."

"Luckily, there are no special arrangements in your case which would give you away so easily. Not like in his case." He smirked again, thinking about Lupin the werewolf. She ignored his poisonous voice and continued discussing:

"But how about my story that I've ditched my wand to study Mythology? I mean, the Ministry surely has records of where do all wizards live. They won't have mine. There's no record that I've ever been accepted into Hogwarts. They don't have any record of me being a wizard at all. And she'll surely have us all checked out beforehand. I mean, the staff. Even before we've arrived."

"Let's just ask Dumbledore." He said, which should have indicated that he didn't know.

"Yeah, let's do that as the first thing when we arrive there."

"Well I have to say, it's quite a time before you've started to think about this matter!" Dumbledore smiled, looking at Sinéad.

"Excuse me?" Her eyes were popped out and mouth slightly open, she felt like an idiot.

"I had it falsified as soon as you set foot in Hogwarts for the first time!"

"EXCUSE ME?!" She yelled in surprise. Dumbledore chuckled good-naturedly. Snape raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"Could you kindly confide to me the past wizarding history of my wife?" He said coldly.

"Indeed. She was born to an Irish muggle farmer named Aengus Uí Bríain and an English witch, Eleonora Eagerton. She was however kicked out in the middle of her fourth year so she could complete neither OWLs nor NEWTs. So Ministry has no records of it." Dumbledore winked. "What they do have is her name in the register of first-year children and her expel record."

"Why did you make her fail school? Now everyone will think my wife's totally illiterate." Snape folded his arms in protest.

"Excuse me?!" She yelled for the third time.

"It was difficult enough just to sneak her birth certificate, school records and the documents of her parents into the Ministry's offices." Dumbledore said, looking through the points of his fingers, joined together. "Arthur almost got caught."

"Isn't there really any way they could know the documents have been falsified?" Asked Snape.

"Dark times are approaching, Severus. Soon they'll be questioning even real wizards and witches about their origins, let alone Sinéad." Dumbledore said. "Anyone can question the validity of any document at any time. Still, it's better to have them than not to have any at all."

"Wait, why I failed school?" Sinéad was interested. "I was surely a hard-working and enthusiastic student, weren't I!"

"You didn't bother to come very often." Dumbledore winked.

"Why not?"

"Your Mythology obsession of course." He winked again.

"I just don't want to look like an idiot." She folded her arms.

"It's the best we could do." Answered her husband coldly. "What if someone asked you to perform Vanishing Spell or brew a Draft of Peace? You couldn't stand a chance. The furthest you can go is immitate Wingardium Leviosa."

"Excuse me?!" His wife snapped, offended.

"I agree with what Severus said. Remember it's just a fake data to keep you protected from the Ministry scanning – for now. They'll still raise an objection, I'm afraid."

"Why?"

"The Ministry is going to inspect all teachers here since it reckons the education is of a bad quality. Anyone who's not qualified enough will be fired."

"I've not much time left anyway then." She said in a miserable voice.

"Still better than having to go to Azkaban." Her husband said coldly.

"Have you forgotten that your teaching here was just a camouflage to protect Harry Potter?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, I haven't. But I've grown to like the other kids too." She sighed. "I liked helping them all, not just Harry Potter. Everyone's helping Potter anyway." She added bitterly. Her husband smirked and nodded in apprehension.

"I'm just– desperately– pissed off by how this world started to fall apart." She growled and intended to walk away from the office.

"Tarry a little, don't you want to see your new suite?" Dumbledore said, smiling.

"Am I now a gentleman that you'd like me to wear a suit?" She mumbled.

Dumbledore chuckled: "I mean appartment."

Her eyes glistened in the dark: "Appartment!"

"Well of course, you now changed your surname and all, do you expect me to let you live apart?" The Headmaster smiled.

"I never quite thought of life here AFTER marriage." She said.

"I'm not moving from the dungeons." Snape snapped firmly.

"Ok, so it's again all about you, is it?" She said, but deep inside she knew she had to give in. Her husband was teaching here way longer than she was. They both followed Dumbledore into the dungeons.

They approached Snape's office which was situated there as usual and looked quite unchanged. As she knew, there was a door leading to his private room. Next to the door of his office, however, was now another door, resembling the first one. There was a doorplate which read:

 _Professor Sinéad Snape_

 _Mythology teacher_

 _and Student's Advisor_

Below, there was a large notice:

 _No queries concerning Professor Severus Snape will be answered in this office. Please turn to the door on the left._

"This is for student's not to bother you with pleads to mollify your husbands punishments executed on them, you know, just in case." Dumbledore said.

"Brilliant." Said Snape, immediately relieved his wife won't be used as a pidgeon to soften his heart.

Sinéad opened the door leading to her office. The furniture in it was now of rose wood; it was dark and shiny, looking pretty old and heavy. There was a desk, a comfortable stuffed high chair which stood right opposite the door so the teacher could have a good view of who's entering, two simple chairs for students to sit on, a comfortable sofa, a tiny bookcase and a door leading further. The chairs and sofa were of a black color. There was also another door on the left wall.

"This leads directly to Severus' office, however, I presume it won't be used very much." Dumbledore said with a wink.

"Yes, it shall be actually locked most of the time."

Sinéad glanced at him. She could see that he still wanted to keep a certain level of privacy.

"No worries, Professor Snape, your dealings with the students shall remain uninterrupted." She said with a smile as she proceeded to open the door which was behind her high chair and led further. She opened it and gasped.

"It's so beautiful!"

The room looked like Severus' room had looked before: the furniture was of ebony wood and it was also very heavy, there was the stoney fireplace that he used to have before, there was a double bed with Slytherin coloured curtains, two bedside tables, a green sofa again, a coffee table, and a giant solid black wardrobe, occupying almost a quarter of the room. There was an emerald green carpet on the floor, no windows and a gorgeous crystal chandelier.

"It looks like a queen's chamber!" Sinéad breathed out; the transfer from her rural naturally-decorated light-lit room was a huge shock.

"I hope you won't make it too feminine for me." Her husband growled.

"I'll leave you to… admiring the wardrobe." Dumbledore winked and closed the door behind him.

"Wait, isn't this the same bed you've had earlier?" Sinéad asked and touched the mattress as if she were examining the springiness of it.

"Maybe," Severus moved behind her and placed his hands onto her hips from behind, "and maybe not."

"How delightful to meet my new colleagues!" An over-sweetened girlish voice sounded in the staff-room. "I'm sure we'll all be very good friends!"

Sinéad looked like she was smelling something very bad and was determining in her head what it was. Severus nudged her to her ribs with his middle finger. A few of the professors smiled with hesitation and Sinéad quickly forced a fake smile too.

"Let me present our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, professor Dolores Umbridge!"

A polite applause sounded through the room. Dolores smiled widely at everyone and Sinéad stepped closer to Severus. He put instinctively his hand round her waist from behind, luckily, everyone was looking at Dolores so that they were left quite alone in the corner of the room and no one could spot his movement.

"Also, I'd like to welcome back professor Grubbly-Plank who will be substituting for professor Hagrid for a few weeks."

Another applause. Minerva managed to catch Sinéad's eye and held up her hand in a silent gesture of hello. Sinéad smiled and nodded back.

"Finally, I'd like to announce a delightful news." Dumbledore beamed, "professor Snape and professor Uí Bríain will be from now on residing in the same private space with two separate offices, however," he casted them a significant look, "under the same name on the doorplate. So mind you, whenever a student or staff will be asking for professor Snape, you'd better ask them which one," the members of the staff burst out in laughter, "to prevent unnecessary complications." Dumbledore finished and started laughing himself. Everyone was looking at the couple standing in the corner; all teachers were clapping their hands and laughing with all their might. Severus stood frozen on the spot and pretended that the humbug didn't concern him, Sinéad blushed and narrowed her eyes.

"Hem hem," Dolores interrupted the gigantic applause because it seemed to her that they were getting quite more of it that she had before. She pulled out her clipboard and smiled hideously: "Excuse me, professor Dumbledore, I'd like to meet every member of the staff separately, if you mind."

"Not at all, professor Umbridge, but couldn't this wait until tomorrow?" Dumbledore said with a smile.

"I'm afraid it would not." She smiled sweetly. Sinéad got pale and pressed Severus' hand. Her didn't display on his face any contact whatsoever going on between, but squeezed her hand reassuringly behind his back.

"Professor Snape, perhaps?" She chuckled hideously and looked at them. They both startled forward, then looked at each other, then smirked. Other members of the staff started laughing again.

"Perhaps it would be best if you said which one, professor Umbbridge." Said Dumbledore politely, but he was barely able to keep his laughter inside. He was looking at the all-pink-wearing woman with a didn't-you-listen-to-me-two-minutes-ago-professor look.

Professor Umbridge unrolled her roll of pink parchment and after a few unsuccessful attempts to read Sinéad's name, she just pointed with her head and said: "The red one."

Sinéad couldn't help it, she burst out laughing, consequently trying to mask it as an outburst of coughing and followed professor Umbridge into the corridor.

"So how do you say your name, dear?" Dolores began, sweet as sugar.

"It's Shin-eh-d." Mrs. Snape said, smiling.'

"I beg your pardon?"

"Shin-eeeh-aaad." Said Mrs. Snape, opening her mouth even wider.

"Lovely." Said Umbridge and scribbled something onto her parchment. "What do you teach?"

"Mythology."

"I've never heard of that subject!" Cried Dolores, her small eyes fixed on her.

"It's a new one." Said Mrs. Snape indifferently. "It was created two years ago, firstly, we thought it would be compulsory, but we've just changed it this year onto optional." She looked at Umbridge with gleeful look of oh-such-pity. Another brilliant idea of Dumbledore. It meant that all the annoying Slytherin students would not be present anymore so she couldn't get any malicious reviews.

"Do you have an idea why professor Dumbledore created it?"

"Perhaps he thought the students had lost their natural feelings."

"Natural feelings? All feelings are natural dear, it's called reflexes." Dolores smiled at her as if she was pitying her idiocy or as if she was teaching a five-year-old.

"I think he clearly meant the feeling you've already lost, dear," Sinéad smiled at Umbridge in the same way she was smiling at her. "It means the feeling of compassion to nature, to all animals, to all humans. It means being able to survive without your wand more than two minutes under clear sky. It means being able to find clear water, build a shelter, coax and lure animals and help humans in their physical or mental distress. It means solidarity, and humbleness."

"I see," Dolores gave her pitying smile again and scribbled something. "I've heard something about spirits too, what is it?"

"The greatest gift an open mind can bring," Sinéad smiled malevolently and her eyes glistened in the darkness. Umbridge shivered and sang: "Perhaps some other time, I'd be looking forward to… seeing these… spirits very much!" At the end of her sentence, she gave a girlish laugh which made Sinéad suddenly want to punch her in her face.

"One last question dear." She called after her because Sinéad was about to depart. She turned halfway round.

"Why did you marry your husband so suddenly?" Dolores' eyes were piercing her through, "he's a half-blood wizard as far as I know, the same as you?"

"I'll tell you why," Sinéad's eyes glistened again with though somehow scary sparkles, "but it's a grave secret. I'm telling you just because you are my friend."

"Yes! What is it?" Dolores jumped, she was interested very much in every piece of double-edged information her victims could give. "Tell me!"

Sinéad came as close to the ugly woman as she possibly could with her own best interests in mind, bent towards her ear (she was taller than Umbridge) and whispered: "Professor Dumbledore desperately longed to be a bridesmaid…"

Dolores groaned with fury, however, Sinéad turned around and went walking calmly and steadily. She smiled and resisted giggling at her own silly little joke.

"Haven't I told you to keep your mouth shut?" Severus shouted after her as soon as she opened the door of her office which was then leading to their private suite. He got up from the sofa with a book of Potions in his hand and looked straight at her, however, the corners of his mouth were twitching.

"A bridesmaid!" She squeaked and burst out laughing, holding her feelings for so long (all the way into the dungeons). He smiled too.

"A stupid answer for a stupid question, what else should I have said?" She was laughing. He put down his book and put his arm around her shoulders.

"I'll have to dye my hair black!" She squaled and burst out laughing again, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "Did you hear her before? The red one! Either I'll teach her how to say my name, or she'll have both of us!" She couldn't stop laughing, she laughed like mad.

"I just loved how you spreaded out your mouth so that she could hear your name!" He chuckled and then started laughing.

"And how she was looking at us, oh dear!" She wailed with laughter. Her laughter was infectious, he laughed as hard as never in his life before, perhaps. They were just standing there behind the sofa, holding around the back of one another with their arms, could barely stand, and laughed like a pair of madmen.

"My tummy hurts!" She said in a high-pitched voice, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks and her lungs gasping for more breath. He just laid his head onto her shoulder and she hugged him tight.

"I've never felt happier in my life…" She whispered.

"Me neither." He said quietly, still smiling. Now he could understand it all. Finding the love of his life meant laughing like two moron donkeys and not feeling ashamed of not feeling the need to keep your image steady and your features unaffected. Severus Snape could finally put down his mask he carefully wore publicly (and even privately) for many many years. But in the public I'm unchanged, he said to himself, in public I'll never let anyone know what a gorgeous wife I have. And that was that. Severus Snape finally found happiness.

"Now I would like to speak about the staff changes for this new school year," Announced Dumbledore and everybody in the Great Hall got quiet.

"It is my pleasure to announce that the Mythology class as well as the Student Advisor post, both of which were created two years ago, will be further undertaken by no one else than Professor Snape."

The Great Hall started reverberating with moans and cries of torture.

"Snape?! As the Student Advisor?! No, thank you, I'd rather commit a suicide than to talk to him!" Ron exclaimed. Hermione was casting shocked looks all around her and Harry stared into an empty space with his mouth opened.

"Can you hear it?" Ginny giggled and smirked, "Neville's mind is collapsing."

It was true. The boy was pale as a piece of parchment and looked like he would be about to vomit in any second. He slid slowly under the table and kept mumbling: "I am ruined. . . I am completely ruined. . . My most favourite subject. . ."

"Of course-" Dumbledore had to use his wand to make himself heard in the wave of panic that was created, "of course, to be more precise, I should have mentioned it would be Professor Sinéad Snape who will be carrying out the tasks for you."

It was as if the whole hall became one person, popping its eyes out and crying: "WHAAAT?"

Neville's head emerged from under the table, squeaking: "What?!"

"Did he use the Confundus charm on her or something?!" Harry cried out, Hermione gave a big smirk and Ron looked completely puzzled, mumbling: "She did it. She eventually did it. I thought it was a temporary failure of senses. How can she sleep in the same bed with him?!"

The Golden trio looked at the direction of Severus Snape and saw him tilting to Sinéad and telling her something. She laughed and gently put her hand onto his arm and he let her do so.

"How could he?!" Hissed Draco Malfoy to his fellows, however, his source of disenchantment was different to the one of the Gryffindors. "She's a filthy scum! How can he stand her beside him!"

The chatter didn't seem to cease, however Dumbledore tried. Sinéad slowly rose to her feet and lifting her palms to the students she silently asked for their attention. They immediately ceased speaking, waiting for her to say something. However, she just smiled again, sat down and looked at Dumbledore, encouraging him to resume his speech, which he did gratefully.

Professor Snape walked resolutely to her class and slammed the door behind her. All the chatter ceased and the students looked at her more curious than ever. Some of them seemed to notice the change in her appearance just now, and they started whispering to their neighbours:

"I don't remember her wearing red lipstick before."

"Neither the black dress."

"And she keeps her hair combed now."

"I reckon Snape has tamed her." Ron whispered and both him and Harry smirked.

"We'll see in the afternoon if she tamed him as well. He might be easier with me this year." Harry said, although he guessed the unpopular Potions teacher will remain unchanged.

"Welcome back to my class." Sinéad began her lesson and pretended not to notice Dolores Umbridge, who chose her lesson as the very first to inspect. She wants to sack me sooner than anyone notices the term has started, Sinéad thought, but continued: "Thank all who bothered to attend my classes even this year, now that the status changed. Apologies for the inconvenience–"

"Hem hem."

Sinéad raised her eyebrows and turned to Dolores Umbridge.

"I would like to ask you a few questions, dear." The High Inquisitor's toad-like smile made Sinéad's innards disgusted.

"Excuse me, professor, but I would very much appreciate if I could begin my lesson in a usual manner." Sinéad said with a smile which prohibited any discussion.

"I assume you got my message concerning the date and time of my inspection?" Dolores asked in her sweet girlish voice ignoring her colleague's previous utterance.

"Indeed I did, however, pardon me when I say that my class takes precedence over any Inquisitor on the world that would kindly bother to visit my class." Said Mrs. Snape strictly and measured Dolores with her cold green eyes.

"What do you mean, professor?" Dolores said and her smile widened as if she'd just found a nasty piece of evidence she could use against Sinéad. She began scribbling viciously.

"I mean," Sinéad paced a little and turned back at Dolores with her chin high in the air and her eyes cold and freezing, "that I'd rather sacrifice my precious time in the classroom to actually teach my students something than to give it to you."

"Oh, do you really call your ongoing nonsenses here as teaching valuable pieces of information?"

"Bang!" Ron hissed, Harry giggled. Parvati and Lavender seemed most amused. Mrs. Snape got slightly paler. That's a counter attack, she thought. But she was still determined to act as if Umbridge wasn't there at all.

"This year, we will be focusing on human spirits. That does not mean we will study fairies that take on human form, we've done that in our first year together already, but rather, we will be focusing on real people and their distinct personal traits and the factors from which their mind is composed-"

"Hem hem."

Sinéad pretended not to hear Dolores at all: "I will teach you how to deal with people in different social situations, how to calm them down, how to get them excited, how to know their emotions judging from certain physical traits and yes, even personal energy comes into our field of-"

"HEM HEM."

"Any problem?" Sinéad asked and tried to calm her shaking voice down.

"Yes, there is actually," Dolores smiled viciously, "in fact, the Ministry has quite a great problem with your classes, in fact, I'm here to tell you that they are absolutely superfluous and entirely-"

"So," Mrs. Snape had to raise her voice to make herself heard over Dolores' pompous speech, "so does the Ministry say. But tell me, has the Ministry ever actually been to my classes before making up its delicate mind? Any person on the world could actually walk into my class right now and tell me: 'I don't like your classes.' Does that mean something gets cancelled every time someone dislikes it?"

"Oh, but according to the Ministry-"

"According to me," Mrs. Snape had to shout this time, "your lessons can be badly conducted piece of bullying."

Dolores Umbridge got just the same shade of pink in her face as her cardigan was.

"But of course," Mrs. Snape chuckled (resembling Dolores in a crazy manner) and continued with a sarcasstic smile, "I've never been to any. They haven't started yet. How would you feel if I actually did that? Tell me, Miss High Inquisitor, I would desire to know."

There was deafening silence. Dolores Umbridge casted her colleague deadly looks and almost broke her quill – so ferociously she wrote on her piece of parchment.

"What matters is not what the Ministry thinks." Mrs. Snape continued, talking in a clear and distinct voice as she walked around the classroom while Dolores furiuously tramped her clipboard under her feet in the corner, "but what is inside." She almost whispered the last words and placed her hand onto Neville's chest. The boy blushed and looked at her questioningly.

"You are very sad now, because you think we two would have to part," she said and the boy blushed even more, "at the same time, you're happy to see me again, you are confused why I have married professor Snape – just as the entire school is – you are angry because your birthday gift doesn't grow up to your expectations and you are nervous why am I ever talking about your feelings in front of the whole class, are you?"

"That's amazing!" Neville breathed out with awe, "it's all true!"

"We can together learn all this, and even more!" Sinead cried and fires of enthusiasm glittered in her eyes, "but, in order to do so, we must break free of what anyone else thinks. We must focus on what do we think. What's inside us. We are what matters." Her diction suddenly resembled her husband. "Each and every one of you is the source of his own good and evil, you can decide the best what to do, without anyone telling you what you should or shouldn't-"

"ENOUGH!" Shrieked Dolores who was red with anger. Sinéad and the rest of the class jerked a bit, they'd forgotten Umbridge was still there.

"This is still my class," Mrs. Snape said quietly, "I hope I still am entitled to talk here however I want in order to impart the best-"

"THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!" Umbridge screamed, eyes on the top of her head, "THIS CLASS IS DISMISSED! YOU-" she shrieked and pointed her fat finger at Sinéad, "ARE FIRED!"

To the amazement of all, Mrs. Snape didn't move an inch from her place (half-seated on the teacher's desk), but continued smiling at Dolores as if she'd just told a really funny joke.

"Didn't- didn't you hear me?!" Umbridge yelled.

"I did," Mrs. Snape said calmly, looking at Umbridge, "I'm doing this class as a hobby now."

The students started laughing. Harry nudged Ron.

"Bang bang bang! That's jackpot for Sinéad, mate."

"We'll start with how to determine mood traces now, shall we? After we've successfully wasted twenty minutes of our lives…" Said Sinéad and took a chalk near the blackboard. Umbridge run furiously out of the classroom and Sinéad could therefore continue her lesson uninterrupted. She felt proud of herself, to be honest. She managed not only to dodge Umbridge, but also to drive her away. However, poor Sinéad, to be oblivious of the immense powers of her opponent with the Ministry! When the bell rang and students drifted off from the classroom, Umbridge marched into the classroom like a field marshall, followed by two Ministry attendants.

"TAKE HER!" Umbridge boomed and the attendants stepped forward, ready to seize Sinéad's arms.

"If you'll excuse me, gentlemen," Mrs. Snape said politely and turned to them, "I'd rather walk on my own than be dragged by your strong arms. I'm a chaste, feeble woman and I do not wish to be handled with like a criminal."

There were lightnings strucking from Umbridge's eyes, but Sinéad had her small victory in her misery. She could walk alone, being secured from each side by the attendants, the evil witch just tied her hands with a rope by the use of her wand. They marched through the school corridors, Umbridge floating like Napoleon after her destructive victory and beaming hideously. Sinéad, on the contrary, walked with her face unchanged and her eyes lowered. When they were crossing an open door, she could spot Minerva lecturing on Transfiguration. This was the first week of school at Hogwarts. And Sinéad's last day at Hogwarts. But she was unyielding. She hadn't done anything wrong apart from telling the students to focus on themselves rather than on anyone else. How could this be considered a crime worthy of public procession with the prison warders? Minerva's head turned to the door and as they walked by, Sinéad casted her a sad look with her green eyes. Minerva then spotted the Ministry attendants seizing the young woman from each side and her chin lowered.

"Excuse me for a minute." She said to the stunned second-years and left her classroom, giving her study books to read.

They all marched to Dumbledore's office. The wizard was studying one of his books when they entered.

"Headmaster," Dolores began in an authoritative voice while the attendants pushed Sinéad forward so she staggered slightly, losing her usual point of balance when she had to have her hands behind her back. He looked up and caught Sinéad's sad, desperate look.

"I've taken the liberty to get rid of a teacher who is scandalously below the Ministry approved level for optional subjects-"

"You call dragging them off like prisoners getting rid of?" Dumbledore said and waved his wand, causing Sinéad's shackles to vanish.

"If you kindly let me continue uninterrupted," Dolores said in an oppressive girlish voice and unrolled the parchment she carried, "this is an order from the Minister himself suspending this cheater from her post immediately and giving her a life-long ban on teaching ever again-"

"I'm not a cheater!" Cried Sinéad and now for the first time since Dolores came to Hogwarts had tears in her emerald green eyes.

"You know you are, dear, and a nasty liar on top of that." Umbridge smirked. "Plus, I haven't finished-"

The door burst open and Professors McGonagall, Flitwick and Snape ran into Dumbledore's office.

"-this ordinance is also sending her to Azkaban for treason, fraud and rebellion against the Ministry of Magic and the Minister himself signed it, giving it an immediate force."

"To Azkaban!" Mrs. Snape breathed out and got weak in the knees. The Ministry attendants immediately seized her arms and forced her to stand still.

"Are you being ridiculous?" Professor McGonagall hissed and scanned Dumbledore with furious glance. "Professors cannot be sent to Azkaban for what they said in the class – what did she say anyway?!"

"I'd be slightly curious about that, if you pardon me," Severus said coldly and focused his cold eyes at Umbridge, "I think I have the utmost right to know why are you sending my innocent wife to prison."

"I wouldn't say she was as innocent as you say, Snape." Umbridge answered. "She undermined the authority of the Ministry in class-"

"How exactly?" Asked Filius.

"Shouldn't we let Mrs. Snape explain what she did?" Dumbledore asked and gave Sinéad a kind and encouraging smile.

"I didn't say anything against the Ministry, Headmaster, I swear," she began in a shaky, weak voice.

"Liar!" Shrieked Dolores, "take her!"

"I haven't finished listening to my colleague, Dolores." Said Dumbledore coldly, turning to Sinéad, "please continue on, Mrs. Snape."

"W-We were starting mood evaluation an-and human spirits study," Sinéad started again with her voice shaking more than ever, "and I just told them not t-to mind anything anyone else is telling them because–because for this evaluation it's crucial that students stay focused and alert of their own mindsets-"

"Rubbish! There is not anythiing like mind evaluation!" Roared Dolores, "she's just made it up!"

"It happens that we have a witness who can confirm the correctness of this art. He experienced it in use right in the classroom."

"And who that might be?" Umbridge smirked.

"Neville Longbottom." Dumbledore smiled.

"Mr. Longbottom is an instance of a bag of dung walking." Umbridge smirked again.

"On the contrary, Dolores, he's showing pretty good abilities in Transfiguration." Professor McGonagall said coldly, although Sinéad had an impression that she was lying just to help her in her desperate situation.

"Is my wife going to Azkaban then or what?!" Snape growled angrily, killing Umbridge with his cold eyes.

"Of course she is not." Said Dumbledore calmly and the piece of parchment Dolores was holding caught fire. She shrieked and dropped it.

"This is scandalous- I'll have the Minister to fire you all- Nothing like that has ever happened at Hogwarts before-"

"The Minister cannot send innocent people to prison for nothing, Professor Umbridge." Dumbledore said sharply. "However, Professor Snape will be ready to abandon her post immediately, will you?"

"Of course, Headmaster." Sinéad said and lowered her eyes. She could not believe it. She was immediately sacked!

"Monsieurs warden, we won't need your services anymore, kind regards." Dumbledore said with a smile and turned to Sinéad.

"I was just fancying a glass of brandy, would you join me, Mrs. Snape? To put you back on your feet…"

"Gladly, Headmaster." She said, still trembling.

"I hoped Severus told you clearly enough to mind your tongue?" Dumbledore said and he was now way colder and stricter than before. Now there were only the two of them.

"I know Headmaster, he did," Sinéad swallowed and her eyes got that desperate look again, "I just thought that there was no harm in promoting individuality-"

"Promoting individuality, this is exactly what the Ministry doesn't want in here Sinéad." Dumbledore said and sipped from his glass. She, in order to get into his favour again, did the same.

"But my whole last year of the subject was based on subjectivity and individuality-"

"I'm afraid that your subject could not continue anyway." Dumbledore frowned. Sinéad popped out her eyes.

"Why not?"

"She seems to know you are a half-banshee. Someone must have told her."

"But whom?"

"We do not know. Probably a member of the staff. No one else knows, do they, Sinéad?"

"Well, Potter and his lot knows, but they know everything anyway. So," her voice was now awfully dull, "is this the end? Has my time here came to its end?"

"Of course not," Dumbledore smiled, "you still have your Student Advisorship post, do you?"

"But I pretty much feel she'd like to strip me of that one too." She sighed.

"Don't forget that only the Headmaster can assign special positions like this," Dumbledore winked. "No worries dear." He took her hand into his. "I'm here. You're safe."

"Thank you, Professor."

"Sinéad, I would like to ask you a favour."

"Anything, sir."

Dumbledore looked out of the window, made a pause and then said slowly: "There will be a time… when Harry Potter will need all the mental help you can give him. Can you do that?"

"I'll do what I can, sir."

"That's good. That'll do."

"Sir? Is it true that he might be posessed by the Dark Lord?"

"How do you know he might be?"

"Severus told me, sir. Also I noticed that whenever he's around, you don't look at him. You sometimes force yourself to divert your look."

"You're a very clever woman, Sinéad."

Instead of being angry (which she presumed he would do), Severus was actually wondering a lot.

"It's quite strange. How comes she didn't put you on probation first?"

"I guess she wanted to be over with me as soon as possible. Severus?"

"Hmph?"

"Does she work for the Dark Lord?"

He paused a little and casted her a sharp look. After a while, he continued: "No."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"I'm the surest. I'm going to the regular meetings, don't I?"

"Of course you do. i'm sorry to question that." She smiled. "She's just so evil. You wouldn't like to know how her soul looks like."

"You don't know how Potter's mind looks like."

"Are you actually peeping?" She laughed and looked at him with interest in her eyes.

"Only because Dumbledore asked me. He's got a head full of sawdust, he does." He smirked and smiled bitterly at her.

"Oh Severus! That's mean!" She laughed.

"Have you figured out how not to become a lazy good-for-nothing couch potato?"

"I have," she nodded, "I will extend my help as the Student Advisor and I'll promote it a little bit, and I also want to write a book."

"A book?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Concerning my course. Like a study guide. If I ever come to be teaching it again of course." She said bitterly.

"Of course you will…" He whispered and bent close to her, smelling her hair and kissing her cheek.

And this was the night when Sinéad forgot to take her Prophylaxis antidote.

The news that she'd been sacked sprang around the school like a fever and even the students that she'd never taught before were whispering about her behind her back and pointing at her. Next few days in the morning, she always walked into the Great Hall as usual (in the mornings with her husband) and pretended nothing was going on. She was for a few days happy of her newly acquired free time: she went for walks, she went swimming into the teachers' pool, she read a lot of books from the library. However, Umbridge was annoyed with the attention Sinéad was receiving, so a few days later, she could read a new Educational Degree in the Entrance Hall:

The parts of the castle publicly dedicated to teachers should be from now used by professors only.

Non-teaching staff cannot have meals at the Great Hall, cannot use the teachers' facilities such as the bathroom nor the staff room and are from now on subjected to the High Inquisitor regarding all punishments they would like to execute on students.

Sinéad clenched her fists. So not only did Umbridge banish her from the Great Hall, but also, more importantly, she forbade her to take points from students or to use detentions. So from that moment, Draco Malfoy or any similar little terror could throw Dungbombs at her and she couldn't complain! You'll see, she thought and cursed Umbridge under her breath, you'll see what I'm capable of!

The following days, whenever she went out of her room, she always wore splendid dresses and a nice makeup, was stopping her fellow colleagues and students on the corridors and chatted with them until Umbridge ran onto them and demanded they dispersed immediately. Her husband gave up on eating in the Great Hall too ("I won't be displaying myself to their curious glances!") – although, Sinéad was pretty sure he actually rather dined with her than with his colleagues. He never had any extra warm relationship with them – and Umbridge was furious, because various other teachers began to follow that trend soon enough and there was nothing she could do something about it.

"She can't order you where to eat, can she?" Said Sinéad when she was talking to Professor Flitwick, who was scuttling next to her, "if she did, she would in an instant order you when to go to the bathroom!" To her utmost satisfaction, Filch was banned from the Great Hall as well so she hoped that would delay his partnership with Dolores, because Sinéad knew that Filch and Umbridge together was the last thing that school needed. A few weeks later, a new Educational Degree appeared, ordering "all married woman in the castle to wear hats to hide their pompousness and save it only for their husbands' eyes". Sinéad was immediately relieved that almost all adult-witches in the castle wore hats anyway, so that decree won't offend them much, because again, Umbridge had created it to deflate Sinéad's personal air, which only increased thanks to her suspension (students now came to her office in great numbers not only because of their interest in human mind and feelings, but also to have a chat or to ask her various questions, they knew she'd always listen to them with a sympatethic smile on). However, Sinéad didn't give up in her war with Umbridge. On the contrary, she created during her long solitary evenings – her husband was always either brewing some Potions or plotting with Dumbledore – a beautiful large navy silk hat which had a large ribbon around it and she decorated it with colourful fabric flowers. It looked magnificent and she was sure that Umbridge would soon regret she passed the decree into effect. Whenever Umbridge passed a decree into effect, Sinéad did whatever she could to obey it but at the same time cause Dolores to regret her own actions immediately. The fight was neck to neck.

"Mrs. Snape… We haven't had the pleasure for so long…" Voldemort said and she shivered. "I presume the work for the Order is going well?"

"Yes, My Lord." She said softly.

"What has Dumbledore asked you to do?"

"To see the Dark Spirits, My Lord."

Voldemort got excited: "Dark Spirits? Are there any Dark Spirits? Get them for my services, will you?"

"It's not so easy, My Lord."

He frowned: "Why not?"

"They only do individual abductions or possess a single person's mind. Even if My Lord desired to get them for his own personal purposes, they might not want to cooperate, or worse, they may trick you, My Lord."

He looked angry.

"Back up, back up!" She heard a hiss from behind: Severus. He stepped forward and successfully explained to Voldemort. Sinéad was relieved. It meant she managed to protect another few souls from Voldemort's impact.

Somewhere around the beginning of December, Sinéad started to feel very sick every morning. Although, having endured the third morning of nausea, she began to be suspicious that this was not just her naughty stomach's will. Severus was of similar opinion.

"You should see Poppy. I don't believe any gastric flu would last so long and occur only in the mornings."

"I was sick yesterday evening too." Sinéad answered, however, she had the feeling she already knew what was the problem. Nevertheless, she said: "I'll see Poppy today, if that's what'll pacify you."

"You wouldn't have to see her at all and continue with throwing up, for all I care." He said and hadn't diverted his sight from his Potions book once.

Poppy only confirmed what Sinéad already presumed.

"Oh I'm so sick Poppy!" She said, as pale as a vax candle, laid down and closed her eyes.

"It's just a temporary discomfort, anyway, in a few months' time, you'll learn what true discomfort looks like!" Poppy said sarcasstically and smiled. "Show up after the Christmas holidays, just to make sure everything's going fine…"

"Wouldn't I have to go to St. Mungo's?" Sinéad asked anxiously.

"To St. Mungo's! Why, are you dying or something?" Poppy laughed, "that's just for serious cases. You'll go there when… You'll go there just for the delivery, and they'll be finished with you before you could say Quidditch."

"Does it really hurt so much?"

"I don't know, never had one myself." Poppy smiled and put a small bottle of the Draught of Peace into Sinéad's feeble hand. "There, when you'll feel sick to death, have this – oh, and have you taken any Prophylaxis since that date?"

Sinéad thought hard: "I don't know…"

"It's fine, they are designed to be harmless anyway, they just create a hostile environment for any conception, once you've done so, they're harmless like water. Don't take any of them now though, that'll be a waste of ingredients." Poppy concluded and rushed off to see another patient.

Great, thought Sinéad while she strolled through the castle corridors, great. Umbridge was still trying to usurp Sinéad's position as the Students' Advisor in order to have even more power over the students, however, Dumbledore continuously resisted. What is he going to do when I tell him? Sinéad wondered. Suddenly she froze on the spot. What is Severus going to do? What is he going to tell her? She knew he didn't want any children just now. Will he force her to give it up? No, she told herself, there's no way how could I commit such an inhuman crime. No, she told herself, even if I had to move back into the countryside and be a single mum, I'll do so gladly. But will I be truly able to cut the bonds with the wizarding society? No I won't, she said and she was more down than ever before in her life.

"Sinéad, is everything all right?" She heard a soft voice behind her, she turned sharply around: Dumbledore.

"Perhaps you'd like to accompany me to my office?"

"I see," Dumbledore said, smiling, "What a coincidence!"

"Sorry, sir? Coincidence?" She said, puzzled.

"This is the beginning of war, Sinéad." He said calmly. "A new life being born is a promising sign for victory."

She smiled feebly: "I am not particularly happy that the child will be raised in such a difficult time, sir."

"Have you told Severus?"

"Not yet."

"Why not?" He asked, obviously surprised.

"He told me he didn't want children, sir." She said and looked on the floor. "Could I go and speak to Sirius?"

"To Sirius?" Dumbledore's eyebrows were up high, almost lost in his hair.

"He's a dear friend to me, sir." She said, "he always gives me good advice what to do."

"You shouldn't rely on anyone else's advice, Sinéad." He said gravely.

"Will she sack me from the other post, sir?" Sinéad asked in a sad voice.

"She cannot, if I grant you a leave." Dumbledore said. "Which I'll do right now. When would you like to leave for home?"

"I think – I mean – can't I stay in the castle? It won't trouble anyone, I promise. For me and the child, it will be important to have the father around…"

"We'll see then." Dumbledore had again his mysterious smile on.

She hasn't spoken to Severus since she went to Poppy in the morning. She started her bike and before Umbridge could stop her, she rode off to London. She loved flying her motorbike. She felt like a bird.

"Sirius, I need your advice. What would a guy do if he said he didn't want children and then his own wife tells him she's pregnant?"

Sirius looked at her greatly puzzled, thought for a few seconds, then a look of comprehension spread around his face.

"You are– Are you–"

"Yes I am." Sinéad whispered. "Three months."

"Is it his?"

"Who else's?!"

"I just needed to have it clear for myself." Sirius said, then turned back to her and beamed: "Congrats."

"Thanks. You still haven't answered my question."

"Well, he better be glad!" Said Sirius and suddenly looked angry. "Such a good wife as you are, I mean–"

"Oh Sirius! But he'd been giving me Prophylaxes and everything, saying that he didn't want no children! What do I do?! What do I do if– if he doesn't want me having it? I cannot give it away, Sirius, what do I do? What do I do?!" She almost shouted the last sentence, tears streaming down her cheeks, her fists clenched.

"Don't get upset– I mean just calm down." Sirius put his hands on her shoulders, he'd never handled any pregnant woman and it was apparent he didn't know how to behave.

"Look, there's always a way to go…" He said, clumsily patting her back, "I mean if… If Snivellus doesn't want you and your child, go here and… live with me."

"What?!" She yelped.

"I know, I know, it's not much, but still… If he doesn't want you, leave him, and live with me! I have to admit it's a sudden decision, but why not? I could be even better father to your child than hundred Snivelluses–"

"You would… Take care of me?! Of us?!" Sinéad gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. She didn't expect such generosity.

"Sure, I mean, you're my best friend, aren't you–"

"Even though it's his child?" She gasped again.

"It's your child, Sinéad, and that's what matters to me." Sirius smiled and she suddenly felt so much gratitude she could hardly express it. She wasn't doomed… Her child would grow up in the wizarding world and could still go to Hogwarts…

"Sinéad!" Lupin cried, having walked in the kitchen, "is everything all right? Has anything happened in Hogwarts?!"

"Easy, Moony," Sirius grinned, "we're gonna be uncles!"

"Uncles? What uncles?" Remus looked puzzled as Sirius did a few moments back and then gasped.

"NO!"

"Yes, Moony, YES!"

"HARRY?!"

"NO, SINÉAD!" Cried Sirius and she burst out laughing.

"Blimey, Padfoot, those stupid little jokes of yours!" Lupin cursed under his breath, but then smiled.

"It's not a joke, it's true!" Sirius was defending himself.

"What does Snape say?" Remus turned to Sinéad. She lowered her eyes: "He doesn't know."

"Doesn't know– But it's his child, isn't it?!"

"Yes it is."

"So how comes he doesn't know?"

"Sinéad is afraid he would force her to abort it."

"Would he really? Snape isn't so stupid as to do that." Lupin said, but he seemed unsure of his own words.

"I think I'll just… give it a try, and see." Sinéad smiled feebly and looked at Sirius for encouragement. He nodded.

"Write us as soon as you know." Remus smiled, then stepped forward and hugged Sinéad firmly: "I'm so glad… A little one will surely help us all fight for good even more vigorously… You're so brave." She felt fantastic. She was so grateful she had such good friends as Remus and Sirius were.

"Where have you been?"

"At Sirius's."

"Umbridge was questioning me about you."

"I'm sorry for that."

She didn't wish for this cold greeting when she got to Hogwarts. Severus was stretched at the sofa, reading something, his expression bored and relaxed, and he no longer seemed to mind Sinéad's trips to London. He got used to them after all.

"What did they say?" He asked her.

"Er– nothing." She bit her lip and remembered she had to tell him the great news first.

"So you just stared at each other for two hours, eh?" He smirked, obviously getting from neutral to bad mood.

"I was asking them for an advice which I got eventually." She said and was determined to get to the subject at last.

"What advice?" He asked.

"Severus, put down your book please." She asked him and sat on the armchair. He slowly did as she said, sitting up and fixing his cold dark eyes at her.

"I… Need to tell you some important news, I…" Sinéad muttered, not knowing how to begin. "I went to Poppy as you said and… Er… It's not just the nausea, I mean, that's only the top of the problem, I mean, not that there would be any problem at all, just–"

"Spit it out." He said, smiling a bit.

"I'm pregnant." She said quietly. His smile froze on his lips, and he looked astonished. He didn't know what to say.

"How– I mean, when?"

"Three months ago." She peeped.

"You didn't take the Prophylaxes that I gave you?" He semed irritated.

"I did, I swear, but I might have forgotten one time, maybe–"

"You clearly did." He smirked. "Didn't I tell you I didn't want any children now? Didn't you understand me? Or is your rural tribal comprehension so primitive you thought that maybe, I didn't mean that seriously and I'd be actually glad?!"

"YOU ARE BEING VERY RUDE!" She yelled at him and jumped to her feet. The world around her swirled. She fell back to her armchair.

"What else am I supposed to be, with you putting me in this disgraceful state?!"

"NOR SIRIUS NOR REMUS COULD ACTUALLY BELIEVE YOU WOULD BEHAVE LIKE YOU DO AT THE MOMENT!" She yelled at him, tears in her eyes.

"AHA!" He got to his feet to and was now casting her vicious glances. "YOU WENT TO THAT LOT FIRST, DIDN'T YOU? You didn't go to me, your own husband!"

"BECAUSE I KNEW EXACTLY HOW YOU WOULD REACT!" She shrieked and threw a pillow at him. "LIKE THIS!"

He swiftly walked to his office and smashed the door behind him.

So this is it, she thought, do I take this for an answer or shall I wait for the exact wording "Get out"?!


	22. Sinéad's last evening

**22**

 **Sinéad's Last Evening**

"Snape." Sirius' head wheezed in the fireplace.

"Black. What a surprise." Severus growled and got up from his chair to extinguish the flames.

"I'm here because of Sinéad." Sirius' head said. "I can see that you're in your office now, so the news didn't go as smoothly as I hoped?"

"Shut it." Snape growled again.

"You know, Snape, she knew you'd behave like this." Sirius said, and his tone was a mocking one. "I, contrary to you, have promised her that if you renounce her as you clearly did," Sirius' head smirked, "I'll take care of her and your child."

"That would be a nice prospect for them, living in that den of yours." Snape snapped.

"No, my dear snivelly friend, you don't get me. Why i bothered at all and wasted my precious Floo powder on you at all is that I want to give you a warning."

"Warning?!"

"Get your balls together and be a man!" Sirius' face yelled, "don't make me be better than you again, Snivellus! Get up from your musty fusty cabinet, hug her and tell her something nice! Merlin's Beard, Snivellus, stand up for your choices! Fun first, responsibilities next, eh? Or are you such a coward as to–"

Snape was shaking with rage. He threw a bucketful of water to the fireplace and Sirius' head vanished.

He opened the door and walked into the living space. He could see her sitting on the sofa and staring blankly at the coffee table. She was probably thinking of what to do next. Severus sat down next to her and smirked slightly. He won't give Black the pleasure to have Sinéad for himself. Although not happy with the child and not particularly willing to have it in the first place, he managed to make himself smile and sound reassuring.

"What a… good news after all. I just had to take a moment to… digest it."

She looked at him, her eyes wet. He continued to pretend happiness and eager expectations.

"Is it going to be a lovely girl, or a strong boy?"

"Poppy hasn't told me…" She said softly. "In fact, I think I even don't want to know."

"Why not?" He asked, seemingly surprised.

"Because if she turned out to be wrong with her judgement and told me it was a girl for instance, the impatient feeling to have a girl would ruin the boy's soul and personality."

"OK." He said, not understanding a thing and wishing this whole evening were just a very uncomfortable nightmare.

"Albus mentioned leaving the castle for me to… be able to rest properly I'd say. What do you reckon? I don't want to be alone, so far from you…" She turned her beautiful green eyes at him and his uncomfortable feeling increased.

"What do I reckon?"

"Yes, what do you think?"

"Well, of course, things must be as you want them to be. But to be honest, I would not like to have a big drama in the castle, so for the last month, I would very much like to have you at home."

"Alone? What do I do when the baby comes?" She yelled, confused and scared.

"A member of the Order can escort you to the hospital when you give them a shout." He said with a tired voice. "Why don't we go to sleep now? It's been a tough day, love, why don't we talk about it again tomorrow?"

But he couldn't fall asleep. He was too uncertain of the future. He managed to divert the catastrophic scenario that Sinéad might elope from him, but he knew he had to show much more emotions next time they talk about the subject. He knew she could tell he was acting. Why is it so strucking for me? He was asking himself. Am I scared of being a father? Would I feel differently if the war was over and we would have a lovely home in times of tranquility? No, he realised, it's my role as Dumbledore's agent that is making it difficult for me to accept my new responsibility. If only I hadn't such a dangerous task in front of me, he thought, if only it were someone else. But I'm doing it for her. For the first great love of my life to whom I am always a debtor. No, don't leave the subject, he said to himself in his head, stay focused. What will you do about Sinéad? The best way would be lock her up somewhere, he realised, where no harm can happen to her. But she couldn't stand that, she was always mingling with things and she was a very active member of the Order. What could possibly happen to her? Could the Dark Lord attack her? No, he thought, he likes her quite, or, if you can call that a liking. When he hears about her pregnancy he'll be excited, because it means having an übermensch of a wizard and a mythical creature. The child will surely become the ace of his army. He shivered as he lied in the bed next to his wife whom was breathing regularly and peacefully in her sleep. Oh dear, he thought, the child will become a weapon. I can't let that happen! Where will it grow up anyway, in the dark circles or with the Order? He shivered even more. I cannot let it be raised up by the Death Eaters, he thought, nor can I let my wife abandon the Dark Lord and stay with the Order. He'd kill her instantly. I don't want another girl that I like end up the same as she did, he clenched his fists. So, where will they go? The Dark Lord doesn't have to know, it occurred to him, yes, that's a brilliant idea! Wait, he thought, if she stays in the castle, everyone will know sooner or later. She mustn't stay in the castle! I must do something with Poppy, he thought, obliviate her or something. Yes, I'll do that. I'll come up with a serious health issue that keeps Sinéad confined to our home at Cokeworth. But the Order'll know. Shit, what if it leaks? It's too risky, too uncertain. I'll have to obliviate Poppy and negotiate with Dumbledore again. Or wait, he thought as he was staring up at the ceiling of their bedroom, I can make Umbridge sack her. Yes, that'd be a brilliant idea. She's gaining powers anyway, and Dumbledore cannot hold on for that long, I think… Yes. Obliviate Poppy and fire Sinéad. We can pretend she had a tantrum or something and has to be at home. Yes, that'll do.

"Isn't it gorgeous, Moony? We can teach him all the amazing stuff we know!" Sirius was excited; him and Lupin were sitting in the kitchen. It was quite late at night and Lupin was waiting to substitute Tonks on the night patrol as she was about to return to Grimmauld Place.

"Hey, Padfood, what makes you so sure it's a boy?" Lupin asked.

"Come on, Snivellus would never have a girl, would he?" Sirius chuckled and imitated Snape's deep charismatic voice: "Thereby I forbid you to see any guy who doesn't please me. And don't. Try. To fool me!"

They both burst out laughing and Lupin said: "You have to admit Padfoot that as unfortunate father as the baby might have there's his mother, who's worth more than all the gold at the Gringotts!"

Kreacher was shuffling by, pretending he was sweeping the floor. He began to mumble: "Master's filthy ginger friend is going to have a brat, Kreacher wonders which wizard could ever set his eyes upon her, filthy scum–"

"KREACHER!" Bellowed Sirius, kicking the house-elf from the kitchen, and Remus smirked: "We rather wonder how could she set her eyes upon Snape, Kreacher."

"So it's the school's Potion Master who's the father of the brat, eh?" Kreacher mumbled as he was hobbling away, "Kreacher thinks the Potion Master did make an unwise decision, yes, he did…" And it was three weeks later when Sirius made the unlucky move to yell at Kreacher to get out. The house-elf went to the Malfoy Mannor and the disastrous fate of Sinéad's child was set.

Just until April, everything went fine. Dumbledore kept in his chair pretty stable, and after negotiations with him, Severus realised she was fine in the castle where no one could harm her. Her belly was just beginning to get bigger after all, and could still be disguised by wearing loose clothes. Sinéad organised sessions with the music class, played her violin passionately, listened to the students' fears and needs and was dedicated to writing her own course book. Severus eventually got used to the way his fate was taking and was hoping he would raise his kid differently than his father raised him: hot-headed, stubborn and touchy. When you start liking a girl, she would tell him if it was a boy, be as nice as you can, for a bad word can bring her away quicker than you can say Quidditch. Cherish her and propose to her as soon as possible, don't let the school show-off steal her. He only hoped he would be able to provide his wife and child safety, together with fulfilling Dumbledore's plan. Sinéad was smiley and cheerful and apart from occasional tiredness, swollen legs and backache, there wasn't much that would trouble her. However, she obeyed his wish that she would not appear publicly too much, especially when her stomach started to round off more and more. And by the time of April, she looked like a chubby snowman. She was complaining of almost everyday backaches, extreme hunger and the inability of her now plump body to fit into almost any of her dresses.

"Do I have to wear a tent?" She was complaining one evening while having dinner with her husband.

"Apart from your inability to fulfil your easthetic desires, is there anything else troubling you?" He asked politely. He tried to be kind and gentle to her these days.

"Not really, no. I'm a lucky woman." She smiled and had a bite off her chicken leg. He let go of his cutlery and his eyes were wide open.

"You're eating meat?!"

"I just couldn't help myself," she peeped and looked at him sheepishly, still holding her dead animal's leg in her right hand guiltily, "I just craved it so much!"

He laughed cordially. He was even scared of himself how long it had been since he had laughed like this for the last time.

"Go and eat the whole farm. You need meat. Our child needs meat." He touched her big belly softly. Later before going to sleep, they sat together on the bed, he was propped up by the head board of the bed and she was sitting between his legs, propped up by his trunk. She hugged her tummy and he hugged both his wife and his unborn child. And they sat like that silently for long decades of minutes.

At the night when Harry's illegal student group was discovered and Dumbledore had to escape from the castle, Dolores didn't wait a minute to sack Sinéad immediately from her post. Only the Headmaster could do this, and everyone knew she couldn't wait to seize this opportunity. She was marching with the parchment in her fat hand and banged at Sinéad's office. When the surprised mother-to-be opened the door, this roll of parchment was shoved to her face.

"Finally!" Shrieked Dolores, "here it is! Here it is! The end of you at Hogwarts! No more mind-supportive nonsense, no more consultations–"

Sinéad slammed the door to her face. She rushed into their living room and was frantically throwing things into her suitcase.

"What's this fuss about?" Her husband growled. He didn't like opulent gestures like this.

"She sacked me. I have to get out, or she's able to set the cushion under my butt on fire." Sinéad breathed and didn't cease piling up her dresses in the suitcase. The door of her office exploded, sharp footsteps followed and the door leading to their living room was burst open. Furious Umbridge stood in the doorway, the dismissal all jammed in her hand.

"I, as the new Headmaster of this place, order you to leave this place immediately!"

"Calm down – Headmistress – there's no need for this chaos." Snape said calmly and put down his book.

"Chaos? You call this chaos?!" She shrieked, "I'll have this place back in order again, and I'll begin with your wife!"

"Regarding her current condition, I believe it would be better to arrange her departure tomorrow."

"I'M THE ONE TO GIVE ORDERS HERE!" Umbridge bellowed and pointed her wand at Sinéad who looked from one wizard to another, frightened. A split of second later, Snape was pointing his wand at the ugly witch.

"How dare you…!" She breathed out, uncapable of finishing her sentence due to her immense astonishment.

"No one." Said Severus, deadly expression in his face, "will point a wand at my pregnant wife."

"I'll fire you too!" She shrieked and casted a curse on him. He easily diverted it and returned another jinx. A fierce exchange of fire took place. Her husband was conjuring the jinxes so skillfully Sinéad couldn't do better than admire him from behind the bed where she was hiding. After a decade of seconds, Snape managed to stun Umbridge quite easily. When she was unconscious, he looked around frantically and finally spotted a pair of huge green eyes peeping from behind the bed. Severus quickly ran to his wife and grabbed her shoulders.

"Now listen to me! Forget about the trunk, you can get your stuff later. I'll have to obliviate her as soon as you get out of here, I have to stay at my post because of Potter's lessons of Occlumency and the Order work so she must forget I ever fought her, she'd sack me too. You must go directly to her room and use her Floo network, don't stop anywhere and don't stay in her office more than fifteen seconds, do you understand?!" He almost cried, shaking her slightly as if he were sifting flour so that she could digest the information better, perhaps. Her huge green eyes filled with desperate tears.

"But darling, where do I go?"

"To the Grimmauld Place. Ask Black if you can stay overnight, the others will accompany you to our house or will work out another plan. Go quick! She's waking up!"

Dolores was shuffling slightly on the floor and Sinéad was staring at Snape, trembling, having suffered a great shock.

"GO!"

She moved quickly, gave him a light kiss on his cheek, and ran out of their chamber through her office into the darkness of the dungeons.

She was afraid. She'd never used a Floo network before, she just read about it. She threw the powder too quickly with her trembling hands and shouted the name of her destination too loudly with her shaky voice, so when she landed into the cold stony kitchen in Grimmauld Place, she was thrown from the fireplace and smashed a chair by landing on it with her entire weight. A couple of legs ran into the kitchen and she found herself surrounded by Alastor, Sirius, Remus and Molly.

"Sinéad!" Remus and Sirius cried and rushed to pick her up from the splinters. She was trembling and tears were running down her cheeks.

"What happened?!" Cried Alastor and his blue eye was spinning excitedly.

"Sh-She got control of Hogwarts… Dumbledore had to escape… She wanted to kick me out i-immediately but Severus stunned her and then had to obliviate her and t-told me to leave… T-Told me to go here, I'm s-so sorry Sirius…"

"It's fine, it's really fine," he knelt to hold her hands and looked her into her face. Smiling, he turned to Lupin and smirked: "You know, I'm quite happy to have my house used as a human shelter for all occassions…"

Lupin chuckled and Alastor growled grumpily: "So is Dumbledore really gone?"

"I guess so, otherwise she couldn't have control over Hogwarts." Molly shrugged her shoulders.

"How'bout Potter? Will he be okay?" Alastor growled again.

"He'll be fine. Snape will take care about him." Said Molly. Sirius made a disapproving look. Lupin looked at him and confirmed: "That's right, Sirius. He'll have a hard time, but he'll manage."

"Would you like to have something to eat, dear?" Molly smiled widely and turned to Sinéad who realised she was extremely hungry even though she already had a dinner.

"Sure." She smiled.

She stayed at Grimmauld Place for a week, keeping Sirius company which he was pretty happy about. She helped Molly cook meals so the witch was glad to have some free time to spare. She was seeing Bill and Charlie more often and spent some delightful moments with Arthur chatting about muggles. When Tonks popped in to escort her to Cokesworth, Sinéad almost regretted she had to go.

"Come on, you'll be at home!" Said Tonks cheerfully, "and your husband made such an effort in making the place more secure!"

"Oh, did he?" Said Sinéad, interested, "how?"

"You know, spells and jinxes and stuff." Smiled the auror, "muggle protection charms, alarms, things like this."

"Wouldn't it be better if Dumbledore did it?" Asked Sinéad, "he could perform more powerful spells."

"True," Tonks agreed, "but Dumbledore's who-knows-where, remember?"

"Right." Sinéad remembered, "tell me, does Umbridge search for me?"

"Yeah, she does, but Snape jinxed her when she was heading to her lesson," Tonks chuckled, "so if she tried to tell anyone the address, she would forget it sooner than she would manage to finish her sentence."

"Pretty useful, your wand is." Sinéad laughed and once and for all left for Cokeworth.

It was a dull evening at the beginning of June and Sinéad was just turning her eigth month of pregnancy. Her belly was as heavy as a stone and she was greatful that her husband was teaching in Hogwarts, she couldn't take much care of him now that she was heavied by such a load. She was pretty much looking forward to the child's birth. She touched her belly gently, she talked to it softly, she cherished it like a precious treasure.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. She ignored it. Severus jinxed the doors, windows and chimney of the house not to emanate any light nor smoke, so that the muggle neighbours would think the house was abandoned, as it always was during the school year. And he warned her that sometimes the muggle boys tend to knock the door out of fun, to see if it is locked or if anyone answers it. Pretend you aren't here, he told her. The doors are enchanted, they'll go away. So she obeyed her husband and pretended she weren't there.

"Plumpieee, we know you're hereee!" She heard a vicious scream and blood froze in her veins. It was Bellatrix Lestrange's scream. What do I do? Sinéad panicked and her belly cramped slightly.

"Answer the dooor!"

No, she panted heavily and held her belly, leaning onto a wall in the kitchen, watching her kettle boiling. I won't answer it!

A violent blow broke the door. Sinéad panted. At the ruins of the door, there stood Bellatrix, Narcissa, Yaxley, Avery and Greyback.

"Plumpie," Bellatrix moaned, "you should answer the door for your husband's friends. Didn't he taught you that?"

"He taught me to do what I like in a house that is mine as well. And I didn't feel like having a party tonight." Said Sinéad sarcastically and hoped they wouldn't notice she was trembling with fear. Bellatrix and Avery were just out of Azkaban and full of vicous plans and rage they wished to vent.

"He should have taught you to be more hospitable!" Cried Avery and held out his wand. "Crucio!"

Sinéad's scream filled the house. Her belly cramped like hell. She grasped it, panted heavily and wished Severus were there. Or that she could use her powers. But none of that happened. She couldn't use any of her magic whilst in the pregnancy state, she couldn't risk the child's safety in the Spirit World. And she couldn't give anyone a shout either. They told her that if something hapenned, she was to use the Floo network to call on Grimmauld Place. But she couldn't do that now, the Death Eaters watched all her moves and she couldn't expose Grimmauld Place to them either.

"Avery, you're so rude." Bellatrix moaned again. "No wonder no one ever invites you to a party. These are not the appropriate things to do when you're visiting someone."

Sinéad struggled with pain and thought. Is she really right or is she just mad?

"Oh, look at Plumpie. Plumpie, you are so pale. Gasping and sweating. Tell me, Plumpie, is it hard to carry a child? I've never done it." Bellatrix moaned.

Sinéad grinded her teeth and said: "It is light enough if you have enough love to endure it."

"Have you heard Plumpie?" Bellatrix shrieked and chuckled. "Have you heard her everyone? Do you think I have enough love inside me, Greyback?"

"Hardly ever." He roared, salivating. Sinéad was like a stuffed turkey for him. Eat one, get one free.

"Can I do something for you Plumpie?" Bellatrix moaned again. "Can I bring you your tea?"

"Yes, that would be nice." Sinéad said, highly-strung and stressed. What will be next? Will they kill her? Will they kidnap her? They looked bloody dangerous. Why had they come? She wished she could let Severus know what was happening!

Bellatrix went into the kitchen and waved her wand. The boiling kettle floated in the air, pouring some tea into a cup. Bellatrix carried it tenderly into the living room where they all stood and placed it solemnly into Sinéad's hands. She drank it slowly and said: "Thank you. It's delicious."

Bellatrix giggled like a little girl and hugged herself with both arms.

"Did you hear, everyone? It's delicious! I'm so good at caring for pregnant plumpies!" Suddenly, her face was solemn again.

"So now," she said, pulling out a sharp long dagger. "I gave you tea. You give us answers. Sounds fair, doesn't it?"

"What answers?" Sinéad asked, her voice and hands trembling. She spilled some of the tea on her trousers.

"Whom is your husband truly loyal to?" Bellatrix hissed and the knife was approaching Sinéad's face. "Is he loyal to the Dark Lord? Or to the old fool Dumbledore? I longed to know ever since I got out." From prison, Sinéad finished the sentence for herself in her head.

"I don't know." Said Sinéad, lowering her eyes.

"You liar!" Bellatrix shrieked, sprang to her feet from sitting in an armchair and lifted Sinéad's chin with her knife.

"You well know you know!" She hissed and Sinéad slowly closed her eyes. Her mind was panicking, her heart was throbbing. Thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa.

"A little stressed prey always tastes the best." She heard Greyback's voice. "Do you think the blood in the fetus' veins is just as hot as hers?"

"Don't… touch… my child!" Sinéad breathed out, uncapable of saying more because the blunt side of the knife was pressing against her voice box.

"Plumpie, I think we have to finish our party at our place." Bellatrix whimpered and then burst out laughing in a terrifying manner. Sinéad got goosebumps and as Narcissa trussed Sinéad's hands behind her back, she dropped her cup on the floor and broke it, spilling the tea. With tears in her eyes, she slided the wedding ring from her finger and threw it on the floor too. It clinked and rolled away without anyone else noticing it. And it almost seemed to her that she saw a glimpse of pity in Narcissa's cold grey eyes.


	23. The loss

**23**

 **The Loss**

It was quite late at night when there was banging at Snape's door.

"Is the castle on fire or what is this mayhem?!" He shouted, rose to his feet and swiftly walked to the door to open it.

"Severus, something terrible has hapenned!" There was Minerva at the doorway, looking at him pale and greatly worried. Her serious expression of the face suggested he shouldn't refuse her.

"What's the matter?" He said indifferently. It wasn't his habit to be anyhow affectionate when it came to school matters. He sat down to the chair of his office comfortably as if he went for a coffee with a friend.

"The patrol of the Order that had to check your house every few days found the place broken into and completely deserted!" Minerva said and her hands was trembling. He sprang to his feet and his skin was as sallow as a piece of parchment.

"What happened?" His voice was shaking. His expression was desperate.

"We don't know!" Minerva said and looked slightly angry of his oblivion, "they found a broken china cup, a spot where tea has been spilled, the front door in ruins and this." She placed Sinéad's wedding ring into his large palm.

"She would never part with her wedding ring." Severus whispered. "She must have been forced to leave the place. For how long has it been empty?"

"We are not sure, for many hours, maybe days!" Minerva exclaimed.

"Who were the kidnappers? Muggles?"

"Hardly. We found traces of magic in the ruins of the door. Ministry officers have sealed the place against Muggles, however, you are not to leave Hogwarts at any place-"

"Nonsense, I must find what happened."

"Once again, WHOM IS SNAPE TRULY LOYAL TO!" Bellatrix shrieked, hitting Sinéad with a thousandth Crucio curse.

"THE DARK LORD!" Shrieked Sinéad, kneeling at all four, her long hair spread all over her back and on the floor. Hold on, she was praying in her head, I'm sure I'll find a way to get us out of here, just please, hold on… We'll be alright… Mummy loves you, mummy loves you so much! Hold on! Oh God, if only I could use my powers! If only I wouldn't put my child at risk!

"YOU'RE LYING!" Shrieked Bellatrix and hit her with another curse. Sinéad's shrieks were more and more desperate. She was being tortured by Bellatrix for several days in a row now. She didn't know if it were days or hours, how many days, how many hours? Also, Bellatrix was slightly put off. Why did Sinéad last so long without losing her mind? She was questioning her and torturing her for so long, and still, she was unyielding and seemed not to be discomforted in her head at all!

"Why won't you ask the Dark Lord?" Sinéad yelped and crouched on the floor.

"He's not here," said Bellatrix and seemed guilty for a second, then she continued: "I've asked him several times, but Snape must have fooled him somehow, the Dark Lord doesn't see what I do see!"

"When the Dark Lord himself confirms it, you should not question him, Bella." Said Lucius Malfoy coldly. Him, his wife and some other Death Eaters were present as well.

"NO! SNAPE'S LYING! AND SHE'S TOO!" Shrieked Bella and hit her again. Suddenly, Sinéad felt intense pain inside her. So intense that she produced the vilest shriek of all and thought she was dying. The last shriek made all Death Eaters back up in fear. It was a true banshee shriek. She felt warm liquid running down her thighs. With her eyes popped out by the on-going madness, she looked at her thighs. Blood. Blood!

"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!" She shrieked again, made a cat-back yoga-like pose and thought all her internal organs were now to gush out. All Death Eaters stared at her in complete silence. Bellatrix lowered her wand and wondered.

"Aaaaaaargh… Ah… AAAAAAARGH!" She screamed writhed in pain, half-panting, half-screaming.

"I think she's losing the child." Said Narcissa coldly to her husband.

"Shift her into the dungeons!" Ordered Lucius Malfoy. "I won't have the precious marble tiles dirtied by a freak's blood!" So Sinéad was transfered roughly by Pettigrew into the dungeon cell, in her most vile, premature agonies. Everything was over in twenty minutes. She panted and stared into the ceiling of the catacombs, delivering her child in a prenatal state, already dead. The Cruciatus curse by Bellatrix Lestrange had killed him long ago, but now they also made her uterus almost rip itself away, there was so much violence executed on her… Her legs were all covered in blood.

"No," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks, wiping the boy's head with her own shirt, which was already too loose for her due to the loss of her giant belly and due to her long suffering without food. "My poor boy… My angel… Wake up, please…" But she already knew it was a vain effort. Her child was dead before could utter his first cry… Before his mother could caress him in her arms… Before she could cast her green eyes on him and before she could tell him how much she already loved him… Her tears fell on the boy's head giant and sparkling, like the tears of a phoenix. Drop drop drop drop drop. Except they couldn't reverse the damage already caused.

"No, no, no, no, no…" She kept repeating in a barely audible whisper, pressing the little corpse to her heart so much she was squeezing the poor feeble body. Her face was all wet after a few seconds. She kept repeating this one particle, hoping it would help her. Hoping it would reverse the terrible truth. And she finally realised it. She finally realised she was all alone in this world. There was no one to help. There was no one to rescue her. Whomever would come at that very instant, it would be too late. The chance of her rescue died with him. There was no one for her to protect now. There was no one left to protect her either. She felt wasted, she was a lost existence. Anything from now on would be just a waste of time and doomed to fail. There was no place for her to call home. She was an outcast, wanted neither here nor there. No one cared. She was just a freak, an instrument, a tool, a doll, a provider of pleasure. If someone cared for me, they would come. If someone cared for me, they wouldn't leave me here for more than an hour. I'm dead. I'm dead inside, I don't care what happens. I don't care of anything now. I want to die and see my precious son again in heaven. But there was just one thing to do before she could die peacefully. She had to kill the murderer of her son.

"Now," her creaky voice sounded in the stone catacombs and it was shaking with rage and despair, "I can use my powers as I want now. No one to take into consideration." But her human body was still too weak. But other than human powers were now awakening inside her chest. She gave a long wail, the longest she could produce, like a wolf's. Her hair was wildly swirming around her and her eyes glowed bright red, they weren't sweet green anymore. She got up to her blood covered legs, however, she was rather bending like a walking-dead. It was so different from her usual straight upright figure. Her nails grew longer and became sharp like claws. With one tug she ripped the wooden door away, and it was totally unimportant whether any magic had been used on it or not. Magic didn't stand a chance now. She took on the ultimate form of the usual banshee: the messenger of Death. But Death wasn't tolling right now, unfortunately. And Sinéad couldn't kill if Death wasn't coming. The messenger cannot replace the ruler. But they didn't know that, Sinéad gave a wicked laugh, they didn't know that!

Using his Death Eater travelling powers, he escaped from Hogwarts. Nothing mattered to him anymore. He seemed to forget about Dumbledore's painfully constructed plan to protect Harry Potter. Nothing but horror welcomed him to their house. He got even paler and his heart nearly stopped beating. He saw the door broken out from the hinges, and nothing but coldness and rats ushered him into the dark living room. There was no one in the house. He quickly searched it and wondered frantically with pain in his heart. What had happened?! Where was his beloved wife? He clenched his fists. He'd kill anyone who was responsible for her misery! He looked at the floor. A broken tea cup. That was her favourite. She'd never break it deliberately. That was like a hit with a deadly scythe for him. She would never part with her wedding ring nor would she break her favourite cup. And suddenly, her wild scream cut the silence of the wind. It was the last banshee scream she uttered in the Malfoy Manor. This was the only scream that reached him. He shuddered, and a tear dropped on the floor.

"How could I… leave you here so innocent… so defenceless…" He whispered and cried in agony. "Sinéad! Where are you?!"

Sinéad ran up the stairs leading from the basement. Bellatrix, Lucius, Narcissa, Avery and Greyback were just in the middle of a conversation. When Sinéad ripped another door open, the door leading to their drawing room, they all gave a start. They looked at her raging grotesque figure which looked human no longer. Narcissa shrieked and hid behind her husband, whom was pointing his wand at Sinéad, but looked as sure of producing a spell as Neville Longbottom. Grayback was astounded, and Bellatrix was popping her eyes out.

"What happened to her! Who did it?!"

At the same moment, Wormtail came rushing into the room.

"It wasn't me, I promise, I found the cell broken when I got there just seconds ago–"

Sinéad roared with rage and with one violent blow of her arm which grew twice as long as it had been threw Pettigrew on the wall at the end of the corridor. He remained there lying unconsciously, his skull smashed to pieces. Lucius shrieked and dragging his wife he ran for his safety by jumping out of his own window, jumping through the precious crystal glass. When Bella turned around, Avery and Greyback weren't there. Disappeared.

"Away! You freak!" Yelled the mad witch, casting Sinéad curses, Crucio, Imperio, even Avada Kedavra. But all the curses just slid off her like cold soup noodles.

Sinéad chuckled with her monstrous voice and a voice sounded through the room, a horrid, terrible inhuman voice: "You can't harm the Death messenger when her Master doesn't wish her to be harmed, you stupid human being!" By one stroke of a finger she set Bella's wand on fire. She screamed and dropped it. Sinéad grasped her by her throat and lifted her into the air. She was choking and gurgling and her shaking feeble fingers desperately tried to release her neck.

"Tell me the kind of death you wish to have and I'll kindly give it to you!" Sinéad roared and shaked with Bellatrix whose feeble body started to give in.

"I'll summon your husband for you…" She rasped and with the last bits of her effort she touched her forearm.

Sinéad flung the witch into the corner, she hit the wall hard but Sinéad could see she was alive. She couldn't break the laws Death set upon her.

"Crawl away, and beg for mercy!" Sinéad shrieked and left the drawing room, with Bella hiding behind a concertino.

When she got into the main room of the manor, which was as spacious as a ballroom, she couldn't bear her transformation any longer. With all her banshee powers she gave one last desperate terrible shriek, the strongest and most powerful one of all, and the great mansion began collapsing. The windows started breaking, the marble started cracking and the house was falling apart like a badly constructed straw hut in a storm.

"MY SON!" Cried Sinéad as loud as she could, her features absolutely torn off, her skin absolutely pallid, her eyes popped out and dead. She stretch her arm forward and as if she wanted to catch her child escaping from her, she clenched her fist. But caught nothing. Instead, the remnants of the furniture of the house burst in flames and she collapsed on the ground, finally dead.

"Where is she?" Severus Snape grasped Malfoy's collar. "WHERE IS SHE?!" It should be said that the once-great Malfoy Mannor was a ruin now. It was smouldering and only the cracked floors of the ground floor were distinguishible in the debris.

"What are you talking about, Severus? What happened in here?" Voldemort asked, having returned to the mansion approximately at the same moment as Snape got there.

"They imprisoned my wife, My Lord, and I require to know where she is." Severus said.

"Is it true, Lucius?" Voldemort turned to Malfoy and any traces of kindness (if they ever had been there) vanished from his face. "Have you truly imprisoned the magical creature?"

"She's here, My Lord." Murmured Lucius and nervously jerked with his chin in the direction behind one collapsed wall of the ruin.

"We just wanted to know if he–" Bellatrix moaned and pointed sharply with her finger to Snape– "was loyal to you, My Lord." She added with eternal adoration in her eyes.

"Well and what did you find, Bellatrix?" Asked Voldemort. Snape shivered a little.

"My Lord," she licked her lips, "she refused to tell the truth. She only repeated that it was you whom Snape was loyal to. But that's definitely not the truth!"

Oh, faithful, faithful wife! Severus blessed her in his mind. She didn't deserve any of this. He was the one to blame for it all. He knew it.

"Do you think it's not true, Bella?" Voldemort asked coldly and turned his wand in his long white fingers, "do you think I'd be fooled by a Potions teacher in Hogwarts?"

"But My Lord–"

"What have you done to her?!" Severus kept asking, panic gradually taking control of his voice.

"'What has she done to us' would be a better question." Narcissa smirked, obviously she bore the loss of their luxurious residence with great grudge.

"I must say, Bellatrix, it was very unwise of you to harm such a magical friend," Voldemort said with disapproval in his voice, "plus, when she was bearing a next generation of splendid followers to me…" He seemed totally unconcerned with the fact that the Malfoy were now de facto homeless.

"I didn't kill her!" Bellatrix whimpered, "I just teased her a little."

Teased her? TEASED HER?! Snape's mind was in agony. If Bellatrix said she'd teased her, he could imagine that his poor Sinéad would be in a condition not different from Alice and Frank Longbottom! He ran as fast as he could, forcing his way through the debris. When he saw her, his heart stopped beating and his mind stopped working. She was laying in a pool of blood, her long hair becoming very thin and spread round her all over the floor. Her face was grey and corpse-like, her cheeks were hollow, probably due to the long suffering. Her big belly was gone, and her limbs became pencil-thin. He barely recognized her in fact, were it not for her long red hair. He rushed towards the grotesque figure, tears streaming down his cheeks, taking great care no one would see them. But no one was looking anyway. Whatever Sinéad did to the place, they all seemed so frightened than to be able to speak about her.

"Oh Sinéad! Oh, my girl! What have they done to you?! Please," he laid his palm gently on her stone-cold skin, "don't be dead!" He was experiencing a sorrow so great, so immense that the sorrow over Lily's death seemed like a long-distant relative. He put his ear onto her chest in a blood-stained shirt. He froze on the spot. He didn't hear anything.

"No!" He cried, taking her hand into his own hands and kissng it again and again, "no! Sin, you're my life, my whole life! I love you! I love you so much! You can't be dead!"

Throb!

He froze on the spot again. Than he gathered the last remains of his reason and frantically put his two fingers onto her neck.

Throb! Throb!

She was alive! He quickly pulled out his wand and started uttering various healing spells he was capable of remembering on the spot. But he was not a Healer. He would have to take her to the St. Mungo's. He remembered he had a tiny flask of a life-saving potion in his pocket, just in case as he always liked to say, functioning almost the same as a unicorn blood. He quickly poured its content into her violet-framed mouth.

Please start working… Please start working… He was praying in his mind. With one flick of his wand, he vanished the corpse of the miscarried child and tears started dropping onto her shirt again.

What have I done… What have I done… I shall repent this day till the rest of my life…

Throb. Throb. Throb. Throb. Throb.

He put his ear to her mouth again. She was breathing. Although more like a kitten than like a human, but she was. He quickly picked her up in his arms and rushed away. No one was paying attention anymore. They would be glad he took her away. Sinéad let out a faint, barely audible gasp as he was picking her up. Her two bare white legs were hanging down from his arms like thin legs of a dead spider.

"It's okay, darling, we're going to the hospital now…" He mumbled to her.

As he was watching Snape leaving, Voldemort said: "You, Bellatrix, will be punished for your great folly. We can't afford loosing much of our little followers, can we?"

"But, My Lord–!"

"I know best if someone is loyal to me." The Dark Lord said coldly and as Snape was turning around and ready to disapparate, he could cast a glance at Bellatrix being hit by a Cruciatus curse.

When he apparated again and opened his eyes, he was standing in the lobby of St. Mungo's. There was a giant waiting section for patients with various diseases and spell damages. When the waiting wizards saw Sinéad's poor figure in Snape's arms, they gasped. Some of them cried in horror:

"Is she blood-stained?!"

"Look at her hair! It's so long!"

"Oh my God, her legs are all bloody!"

Two Healers passing by saw him and immediately understood the urgency of the situation. They quickly brought a stretcher and he put Sinéad gently and carefully. A nurse approached him with a roll of parchment.

"What happened to her, sir?"

"It's my wife," Severus started explaining frantically. "and I found her… at home. Laying on the ground in a pool of blood. She was pregnant and lost the child."

"You left your heavily-pregnant wife unattended in the house?!" The nurse raised her eyebrows and smirked.

"Yes. Well, there were some… friends with her, but they left her alone."

"Do you know if she fell, or if she hit herself?"

"I don't actually." He said, feeling more and more embarassed.

"Aaalright." She said, scribbling something into the roll of parchment and having the "LOSER" expression on her face. "Did you find the placenta anywhere near the baby?" She questioned him in an official tone with her eyebrows still raised.

"Excuse me?"

"When you found the baby," the nurse started articulating very distinctly, as if she were talking to an insane person, "did it have a strange membrane or not?"

"No, I– I mean I didn't find the baby." He said.

"Is this even your wife or not?" Smirked the witch, making this remark partially for herself as she scribbled. Severus looked at the Healers. They transfered her onto a medical folding bed now and were pushing the wheeled bed away, getting SInéad ready for the extracting surgery.

"What… will happen to her?" Snape had a questioning tense undertone in his voice.

"Well if someone left her unattended and indirectly caused her to practically lose her life, we will be putting her together here." She said with a sarcasstic voice and her lips pressed into a thin line. She strangely resembled Minerva very much. "We now have to force her to go through some stages not unsimilar to labour to get the last remnants of the pregnancy out, at the same time we will be treating her abused body because clearly," she raised her voice to even accelerate her contempt, "someone let her to be tortured even when he knew how vulnerable she was, the effects of the Cruciatus curse and of a short-term starvation are clearly visible on her body. She will get also a blood treatment and psychological treatment for a post-natal depression because if I were her, I would most certainly want to kill the father of the baby. does that answer your question?"

He had to force himself not to twist his face into a painful agony over the charges she now put on his shoulders: "Absolutely. Just… be careful. She… she's not a real human. She's half-banshee."

She pressed her lips even into a thinner line: "We will do our best."

The Healers prepared for the extraction surgery. They disinfected their wands, they put on mouth masks and caps, they greeted each other with a nod. The nurse which admitted Sinéad to the hospital functioned as an assistant. Her name was Agatha. She immediately liked Sinéad and pitied her very much in her unconsciousness. They placed her into the surgery table and undressed her completely. Agatha waved her wand and a small vortex of air appeared at Sinéad's mouth and nose. This was to make her breathe during the surgery. Just a minute before that, a Healer had poured a white potion into Sinéad's slightly open mouth. That was to give her a sort of general aenesthetics. However, the placenta couldn't be extracted by magic. They would have to get it out manually. Just as they were to use their wands to cut the skin on her pelvis, her hair started wriggling and wrapping her lower body like a cocoon wraps its caterpillar.

"What the–? Have you seen that?!" One Healer exclaimed.

"Her husband said she was half-banshee," remarked Agatha, sarcastically stressing the word "husband".

"I've never met one myself." Said another Healer. "I heard they were deadly creatures."

"Apparently not, if this one managed to get pregnant." Smirked the first.

"Maybe it won't be any good," said Agatha, "but how about cutting her hair short?"

"Good idea." They appreciated and Agatha took the scissors. Snip snip snip snip. She threw the long long streams of orange hair on the floor where they laid still. Agatha looked at the unconscious woman, now short-haired, bare and destroyed. Poor creature, she thought.

He had no peace with him, he had to think only about Sinéad. The Hogwarts' students whispered excitedly how weird Snape was. He didn't give detentions nor homeworks. He always seemed lost in his mind. He spent his evenings not with books and potions as he used to do, he spent them in tears, reminiscing and drinking wine. Every day after classes he would rush to Hogsmeade and disapparate into the St. Mungo's, demanding information of his wife.

Every evening he would ask: "Has she woken up?"

And the nurse whom admitted them to the hospital would say with her lips pressed into a thin line: "No. Still in the coma."

One evening, probably about a fortnight after the incident, she finally said with an apparent joy in her voice: "Yes." Her lips, however, remained pressed due to her disapproval of him.

"Can I see her?" He demanded eagerly.

"She's too weak. Wait two or three days. But I'll have to ask her if she wants to see you. I wouldn't if I were her."

"That's much appreciated." He growled with his usual pissed off expression he used at school.

Sinéad opened her eyes. The ceiling was white. She slowly turned her head. Everything was white. She realised she was laying in a cosy bed, also white, and next to her was a white bedside table with a bouqet of flowers. The only thing that wasn't white were the floral curtains all around her bed. She realised her body was heavy and every moment was painful. She couldn't understand where she was and why she was there. It didn't look like any place she would know.

"How are we doing?" Sang a voice and Sinéad jerked a little. In between the curtains a plump blonde woman appeared, holding a bottle of orange liquid. She was beaming and closing the curtains behind her, she asked: "Nice sleep had we?"

"I don't know about you, but I feel awful." Sinéad said softly.

"Oh come on! Why so?" Exclaimed the woman, still smiling, and sat next to Sinéad's bed.

"My body hurts," Sinéad frowned, "and I think there's something missing… I don't remember much, I have one blank window stretching for God-knows-how-long."

"Oh dear." The blondie began stroking her head gently, "it's not a good story to tell. But I suppose you'd realise pretty soon, wouldn't you?" She wasn't smiling anymore and was patting Sinéad's hand gently: "You lost your son, darling."

Sinéad's eyes filled with hot tears. The witch was patting her hand and she immediately started to wipe her tears away.

"Oh, I know, I know…" She hugged Sinéad into a motherly embrace and Sinéad hugged her back and tears were now wetting the woman's robe. "Have a nice cry, that's the best you can do. You're alone in this room, look!" The curtains spread open and Sinéad could see the rest of the white room, however, her vision was significantly blurred.

"I'll leave you alone to your sorrow, dear, have a gulp of the pumpkin juice later, or if you wanted help or wanted company, just knock the bedframe and I'll be with you in a sec." The witch smiled and went to exit from the room.

"What's this place?" Sinéad whined.

"Oh, it's St. Mungo's Hospital!" The witch sang and beamed again, "my name's Agatha, for you to know whom you're dealing with." She winked and was just about to close the door, when Sinéad called: "Could you please mute the room to be soundproof?"

"Sure thing." Agatha smiled again nd closing the door she waved her wand.

Sinéad started wailing and keening for her lost son again, but after all that happened her keen seemed rather like a child's whimper.


	24. Walking dead

**24**

 **Walking Dead**

She woke up from another state of unconsciousness. She had been crying and wailing and lamenting so much that she threw herself into this dilapidated state of oblivion. Where was she? Nowhere nowhere nowhere. Just white and bed and lying flat. What had she? Nothing nothing nothing. No home. No baby. No husband. No safety. She had nothing besides that empty hospital room, and she didn't own even that. She suddenly wanted to go after her baby boy. He was waiting for her in heaven and she wanted to see him and to finally tell him how she loved him. But how could she do that?

In that moment the door opened and Agatha went inside, carrying a huge tray of packets and sweets, cards and plush toys.

"I can see you're awake, I've got something which could cheer you up!" She sang and placed the tray on Sinéad's legs under the duvet. Sinéad was then propped up by multiple pillows under her back and could have a look. There was a plush teddy bear which held a letter. Sinéad took that parchment and as soon as she lifted the bear it turned to life and hugged her, saying: "We all love you!" The letter was from the Weasley family with Harry and Hermione included, expressing their deepest sympathy and encouragements that they'll visit her soon. Then there was a chocolate box sent by Remus with a card that said: "What he did is abominable. I'll be with you as soon as I can." Then there were sweets from Minerva, Albus, and other colleagues from Hogwarts. She didn't look at the other cards. She didn't want to be pitied. She wanted- she didn't even know what she wanted. She even wasn't so sure she wanted to die now. Most of the time spent in the hospital she just stared into the open space. She was empty, blank, abandoned. She had nothing to live for. She wanted to go back to her family and pretend she had never been a teacher, she'd never been married, she'd never been pregnant and she'd never lost her child. She wanted to erase her past and go back in time as if her relationship with Severus never existed. Oh, how she loathed that name! She clenched her fists. It's all his fault. He should have known better. She couldn't decide for herself back then when he was sending her home. It was all his fault. And a wonderful thought occurred to her, she would leave him. Yes! She would leave him and she would begin her life from scratch. She would run away. She would burn all the bridges. She wouldn't give him any kind smile, any nice look. She would hide from the wizarding world. She was pissed off with wizards. She didn't know what was it that was given to her by Agatha every two hours, but it made her feel better and better with every dose. The next day she was able to be sitting in the bed on her own and eat. The next day she was able to get up and shuffle slowly with Agatha to the bathroom. That was the first time she looked in the mirror and stood frozen on the spot. Her youth was almost gone and her beauty faded. Her hair was thin, her arms and legs too, her eyes were sunken, her cheeks were perhaps not that hollow as they were when she came to the hospital, but still very thin. She made some feeble attempts to make herself good looking again, but it didn't work much. The next day she could have her first visitors.

"Sinéad! Finally!" Remus burst the door open and rushed to her bedside with a huge smile. She was sitting on the bed, so he could hug her cordially and she did the same with great pleasure. When he let go, he looked straight into her green eyes with his blue and murmured: "You look just as bad as I do when I change back into my human form, and you know what that must be like, right?"

"Sure." She said, her smile faded and her joy suddenly left her. "How are you, Remus?"

"Ah, you know, good and bad things happen to me as always," he chuckled and held her hand. She squeezed it and he squeezed hers back with still that sneaky smile she liked.

"How are Tonks? Sirius? Alastor?"

His smile faded and his throat became blocked somehow. His voice was muffled: "Sirius is dead."

She let out a scream and covered her mouth with her hand: "How… dead?!"

Lupin then explained everything that happened in Hogwarts and in the Department of Mysteries and this made Sinéad gobsmacked and bewildered.

"So who's fault is it?"

"Well I wouldn't really say who's fault is that-" Lupin began in an apologetic tone, but she interrupted him.

"Was there a way for Harry to find out he wasn't being tortured?"

"Well, Kreacher made it to look like Sirius wasn't at home. But obviously, Snape could have told Harry that Sirius was all right when he knew he was all right-"

"Aha, so it's his fault again." Sinéad concluded bitterly. Lupin suddenly became alarmed and tried to reverse the damage.

"You know, I suppose he couldn't say it in front of Umbridge and he couldn't find him afterwards, you know Harry and his heroic tendencies, when he thinks someone is in danger, someone's in danger-"

"How come Harry had these visions when he was supposed to get Occlummency lessons on a regular basis?"

"Snape stopped giving the lessons."

"Why the hell?!"

"You know his petty spots about James-"

"Uh uh, so it's back at his grudge again." She said with a big irony and contempt in her voice. Oh how she hated that man!

"So Sirius is dead." She said in that hollow voice which was slowly becoming her own. "Sirius is dead! And Harry has absolutely no home to return to! Ha ha!" Her laugh was more of a desperate one than a real laugh of pleasure. "Please tell me one good news Remus!"

"It might please you that I'm finally in the prospect of having a girlfriend." Remus smiled and winked at Sinéad. That was another cold shower. But she tried to look pleased and interested.

"Really?"

"Yes," he smiled, but then frowned, "Tonks had told me she liked me very much. But I didn't give her much hope, to be honest."

"Don't you want to have a relationship?" She asked him.

"I once wanted," he said softly and took her hand into hers. They both knew what that meant. "But Tonks is so different from you. She is so lively, and skilled, and I can't really deprive her of her future by- by being with her!" His face twisted and he looked sad and broken.

"Don't resist, Remus…" Sinéad said softly and stroked his cheek, "don't make life harder for yourself…"

"But I'll make life harder for her if I surrender!"

"Don't you think she knows that well enough to judge for herself?"

"No, Sinéad, no! Love is blind! She doesn't know what she wants!"

"She wants you." Said Sinéad softly with a weak smile. "Go, Remus, don't be afraid. Love will always find a way to turn out well for everybody. Just let it go and love will come to you in the right way. It will be fine." She was encouraging him and was sinking her own hopes at the same time. When he left, happier than ever, she started crying again. She had nowhere to go. She had no one to ask for help. Sirius, the one who promised her shelter and safety if anything went wrong, was dead, and Remus, the only one who was still in love with her (she knew that just by looking at him) gave up his tries and went on to have another relationship. And she had given him even a consent! I'm doomed, she said aloud, I'm done and it's only my fault. Everything is only my fault.

"Hello!" Agatha sang as she was bringing Sinéad her supper that day. "Had some lovely visits, did you?"

"Yes, Remus and all the Weasleys were so nice to me…" Said Sinéad as she delved into her soup, "I finally had the opportunity to tell Harry how sorry I was for the loss in his family…"

"Oh yeah, that was Harry Potter, wasn't it?" Agatha asked and gave a smile, "I didn't know you knew him!"

"He was a former student of mine." Sinéad said.

"Yeah. He lost his godfather, right? Must've been a very nice man, that guy. Everyone is so sorry for him." Agatha smiled.

"Yeah, he was." Sinéad said.

"Your husband wants to see you again and again. What should I tell him?" Agatha asked with a slight smirk.

"That I don't want to see him." Sinéad said.

"Good choice."

"Thanks."

"Sinéad, I have some bad news." Agatha said with a concerned voice when Sinéad finished her soup, "the Healers wanted me to tell you sooner…"

"Sure, what is it?"

Agatha took a sharp breath and looked at Sinéad with the saddest face Sinéad had ever seen: "You'll never be able to have children again, Sinéad."

"What?!" She cried and dropped the spoon on the floor. "Never?!"

"Never."

"Ever?"

"Never."

"Even in ten years?!"

"Not even in ten years. Never. I'm so sorry!" Agatha said and she almost started crying.

"It's ok, just… just leave me alone. Please!" Sinéad sqeaked and the end of the sentence vanished in an avalanche of sobs and tears.

She stood, staring into the blank space, leaning onto a cold wall of her room. It was so hot in central London that she couldn't really lie in bed anymore. She had a short plain skirt which was showing her long thin legs and a top from which her bony collarbones and shoulders were protruding. She looked as if someone made her suddenly taller than she should be, she looked disproportionally taller compared to the amount of fat and muscles she had. She tied her weak hair into a long ponytail which was falling from the top of her head to her thighs. Her face suddenly looked so bare, not being shielded by the long curtain of her hair anymore… She already felt well enough to face her husband for the first time after the tragedy. He was surely waiting for the opportunity to meet her for weeks, Agatha had told her he enquired after her so much… When the door finally opened and Severus Snape stood in the doorway, she didn't know what to do. Should she smile, or not? Should she look at him, or not? He seemed to be uneasy as well, at first smiling and greeting her cordially, then suddenly becoming solemn and shyly handing her the bouquet of flowers he brought. She thanked him for the flowers indifferently and slowly went to place them onto her bedside table. She walked very slowly like an old woman. He wanted to be of assistance so he asked her not to move. She told him walking a few metres wasn't a big difficulty. He carefully inquired about her health and well-being, wishing to avoid the topic at all because he was fully aware he was responsible. He finally sat on the chair and she sat opposite to him on her bed.

"I don't really know what to say." He said softly and his black eyes were inviting her to drawn in them. He looked devastated, as if he'd prefer to drown himself first.

"Me neither." She said in a broken voice and looked over his shoulder across the room.

"You've changed so much." He said and attempted to place his hand onto hers.

"I was forced to." She said indifferently and folded her hands, not giving him the opportunity to touch her. No, she told herself, he won't touch her anymore.

"I wish we could be easy with each other as we'd been before." He said softly.

"I wish so as well. But we cannot." She said with her new hollow voice which was already becoming to be a part of her.

"Has it really touched you that much?" He asked. In the next moment he could see a flash of anger in her emerald eyes and she slapped him in the face.

Sinéad slapped Severus Snape in the face!

He touched his cheek and could not believe it. She began to scream:

"Is this everything you ask me, you grumpy sodding wimp?! Are you going to ask me about my health as if nothing happened?! Haven't you a bit of shame in your empty soul?! I can't even look at you! I'm sick of you! How much had I to bear since you stole me from my peace many years ago as a compensation for Lily?! I'm sick of your tasks, sick of the way you are, you talk, you behave! Sick!" She threw a mug at him and tears were streaming down her cheeks. "I don't want to see you here anymore! Save your breath, your flowers, your explanations! Save it for yourself, you'll need it a big deal in the other world when you'll be answering for your crimes! Leave me here, the miserable creature that was once your wife, leave me and crawl into your cold dungeon hole as you always do!"

"Shout as you please," he whispered, not daring to look at her, "punch me as many times as you please or swear as much as you please, but please, forgive me!"

"You should have rather asked Lestrange to forgive me than me to forgive you! Or that cruel fate ye've arranged for me which now tells me I will never have kids again! GO! Leave! Sooner than I'll leave you! I don't want to see you, and I don't want to be with you anymore! GET OUT!"

He obeyed quicker than she hoped. As soon as the door closed behind him, she sat down and wrote a letter:

 _Dear Moony_

 _Please help me. I'm so desperate in here as I couldn't be anywhere else. I'm exposed to my husband like a bird in a cage. I cannot have children, they told me. I can just survive until I die. I want to do something about myself, I need to run away. I feel like a stallion in a slaughter house rebelling against his miserable fate. Please help me. Bring my old motorbike and some of my things to the hospital, if you can. If necessary, have other people's help. But don't tell my husband nor Dumbledore. I do not wish to be stopped. I don't wish to be taken care of! What use is to take care of an old wand which doesn't have a core anymore? I need to go, Moony, I need to be free. I'll tell you when they tell me I'm ready to go home. You'll pretend you'll take me home but we'll split outside. There's nothing I could offer for that but a satisfaction that you will save one poor soul from suffocating. I cannot live, Moony. I cannot live unless you help me. You're my only hope, please._

 _Sinéad_

 _Dear Sinéad_

 _I am expecting your owl giving me a command that you're free to go._

(this was a one-line response)

I have nothing to lose.

A corpse has nothing to lose.

I'm a living corpse. Walking dead.


	25. How it actually was

**25**

 **How It Actually Was**

 **1996**

And – she couldn't believe it – she was free! She put her little bag into the sidecar, got on her motorbike and drove away from St. Mungo's Hospital. Just before she left London for good, she withdrew a considerable amount of money from her Gringott account and exchanged it for pounds. It was a sunny late June morning. She stopped just once more, went to a Muggle department store and bought few colourful T-shirts, a pair of jeans and sneakers (those had a star at the sides and Sinéad liked them very much), a leather jacket, a bag, a sleeping bag, a simple fabric tent, a pot and a spoon. That was all she needed. No one of the Order knew where she was going. She didn't tell anyone, not even Agatha. Dumbledore gave her a false Muggle passport and ID, she looked at them to see what her new name now was.

Helen Rosch.

Sinéad put a stream of her long red hair behind her ear and tried to feel like Helen Rosch. It didn't help much. She still felt alienated, and strange, and deprived of everything. Why am I running away? She asked herself. To forget? No. I don't want to forget. To know what to do with my life? Perhaps. Why can't I return to my tribe? I wouldn't fit in anymore, she thought. I'm too spoiled by civilization. And they're too poor for me now. I like my flying bike, she thought, and the anonymity of the cities. Yes, she thought, that's what I want. To melt with the crowd. To cease to be myself with my own problems and to become someone else with someone else's problems. I'm not Sinéad Snape, nor Sinéad Uí Bríain now. I'm Helen Rosch. And how about my husband? Will I ever return to him? I don't know, she realised, but I'm not rejecting the option. I just want a break, she thought, yes. I need to get away from all this magical conflict. I need to be ordinary now. No good and evil. Just me.

So she drove through London, her small bag now stuffed with all the Muggle equipment she bought. But she felt a bit insecure. She didn't know how the Porkheads' world worked. What were the things you could go to prison for? How was she to find a place to live? She stepped on the gas and felt her hair flying behind her. She finally felt free again. She was driving from her problems, she was leaving them behind. Sirens sounded in the distance and were getting closer. Oh perfect, she thought, cops. But instead of stopping, she increased the speed. She was passing the cars rather like blotted spots now and she could hear the number of sirens increasing. She stepped on the gas once more, broke through the roadblocks which said "bridge under construction", rose into the air and vanished. The cars stopped at the edge of the broken bridge and the officers were gobsmacked, staring into the bright blue sky. She smirked. When you have nothing left, you have nothing to lose. There is a strange freedom in despair.

She was zigzagging through British cities for a few months, this was an opportunity to strengthen her self esteem and to get used to the Porkheads' way of life. She had to admit now that they were ingenious. Pretty dumb, still, but ingenious. Then she was travelling towards the south of Britain and alongside the coast, stopping occasionally, relaxing in the countryside, swimming, singing, plaing her violin, sleeping. This was the greatest medicine anyone could provide. She was happy. She did think about her life a lot, but her new assumed identity gave her the power of looking back from greater distance, it helped her cope with it. It was in Bath several days after she appeared there when a wealthy English family spotted her with her backpack and offered her a vacant place in their house as an au-pair for their children. All three of them, Steffie, Jade and Boomer Brookman were exemplary children, nice, lively and clever. Little Boomer was just turning half a year and his mother was a quite busy woman, so she left the infant for Sinéad to attend to. What a pain she felt when she realised that little Boomer was just the same age as her own son would have been! But no, she thought, I cannot think about that. She was taking the kids to school, to the park, to the swimming pool, to the cinema. This was when she first tasted all the fruit the modern Muggle civilization had to offer, and she was pretty amazed (although she doubted the cinema is an appropriate form of entertainment for such little children). However, Judy insisted. On the outside, she seemed as an exemplary mother, worrying about her little angels' safety and well being a good deal, on the other hand however, she spent such little time with them Sinéad doubted she actually knew their names. All that interested Judy was the Local Mothers propaganda: how to promote the lives of lonely domestic mothers. They held meetings and lectures and Sinéad was pretty sure that must have been a terrible organization, because none of its guidelines and advice actually made sense to her. Judy insisted that mothers must be given a greater allowance to be able to pursue their own interests and hobbies, and that babysitters had to be guaranteed by the state so that the mother enjoys the maternity holiday properly and so that she is willing to have more children. All this sounded absolutely Greek to Sinéad and sometimes, she was asking God why was he so mean as to not endow some people with a brain.

But overall, the family was nice to her. What Judy needed was just to set her children aside to be more able to write about good parenting and mother-promoting. She gave Sinéad money to take kids places, and they had a spare room in the house to be used by her. She even had her own ensuite bathroom in which she spent long hours relaxing in the tub when the children were asleep. And the father, Phil, wasn't much better than the mother, but he was away a good deal and when he was at home, he was shut in his office next to Sinéad's room, doing his job and studying his papers. He was a short balding man and a heavy smoker. The only one thing interesting about him was his strange, crooked smile, the type of smile where you weren't actually sure whether he was smiling or smirking: his teeth were covered by his thin lips and one corner was slightly higher than the other.

It was a cold autumn evening, probably half-a-year after she ran away from St. Mungo's, Sinéad began preparing for her evening routine as always. Her wounds were already healed but her period had yet to return, otherwise she was feeling fine. Empty, but fine. She brushed her hair and was just about to take her T-shirt off, when–

"Nice evening, eh?"

It was Phil, leaning nonchalantly at the doorframe and smiling his crooked smile, one mouth corner above the other, "how d'you spend your evenings anyway? You haven't had the opportunity to tell me."

"That's because there's nothing to tell," said she indifferently and slid her T-shirt back where it had been, "reading."

"All alone? No interesting guys to meet?" He closed the door behind him and continued to pretend his relaxed tone of conversation.

"No." Said she coldly. She didn't care what happened, as always.

"Look Helen," Phil strolled close to her and with his two fingers he picked the cigarette he held between his teeth in his mouth, "I'll put that simpler for you if you wish. I'm getting quite bored with Judy, going on about children, charity and Local Mothers' stuff! At least, she looks pretty, that's why it's still pleasing to look at her."

"I'd kill you for what you're saying if I were your wife Phil." She said coldly and folded her arms.

"That's just what I like about you, always highly logical and simple. No fuss. No stupid cake parties. No giggling, no gossiping. No high pitched babbling, no blouses, no department stores. Come on, Helen," he muttered and cornered her in her own bedroom, dangerously close to her generously large bed (did he do that in purpose?), "you can only benefit from your situation… I can make you happy, you can have whatever you want… Oh, come on, Helen…" He was murmuring and was bending closer and closer, obviously he reckoned she considered him as irresistable as he did consider her. But in fact, it was the opposite. Sinéad hated him. Hated his manners, his treating of his wife, even his revolting cigarette breath. But she knew better than to show her fear and disgust, she knew she would have been overpowered and raped straight away. Without missing a beat, without moving an inch although she desperately longed to scream and run away, she answered, with her empty voice and with her arms still folded:

"Why?"

He immediately stopped moving closer, popped his eyes out and said: "What why?"

"It must obviously be very disadvantageous. You've put so much work and money into this house and into getting Judy as your wife, why throw it all away?"

"I don't understand." He said, still astonished, straightening up so that they looked like two friends chatting again. Sinéad started pacing to and fro, she tried to get away from his personal space, to be free, to be out of the danger (she could possibly jump out of the window if necessary now, she concluded).

"When you were young," Sinéad started in a voice which resembled a school lecture, it was so impersonal and detached, "you did all you could to get Judy, to have kids, to climb your career ladder, to build this house. Now you have it all and become bored. You want to replace the old machine with a new one just for the newness of the new one, not because the new one would be really better. You're overlooking the stability and reliability of the old machine because you think the new one is better, but in fact, both of them are the same, more or less. They might differ in colour or in proportions," she smirked as she was elaborating her queer comparison, "but in fact, how will it help? The new one will become an old one sooner or later, the money will be spent and you won't be any closer to your satisfaction. You'll still want the new smell of the new car right in front of you. But that's not how the world works, Phil. Look at it from the other way round; you're dissatisfied with Judy. But how can you know she's not dissatisfied with you?"

"With me?" He stared at her, unable to understand that there could be anything wrong with him.

"Yeah, in fact, how d'you know she doesn't want to do the same thing as you wanted to do a sec before, Phil? How d'you know she's not doing it right now?" Sinéad said, her voice slightly wondering and with a deep satisfaction, she watched Phil's face going from confused to frightened.

"She couldn't. She's too simple."

"I'm simple, Phil. Your wife is capable of more things than you can imagine." Now he got really scared. "Gosh, she sure has a lover and she'll want to divorce me. Surely she will! And she'll want the house, and the two cars, and everything!" His eyes were now popped out in horror. She resisted a strong urge to laugh and shuddered her shoulders: "Don't look at me, I ain't got nothin'."

"What do I do?! Helen, tell me, you know everything, what do I do?!"

"Go to her Phil. Make the old machine a new one. Repolish her, change the seats. Tell her exactly what you told me how you feel. Do you think she's happy either? She's dressing up just because of the other women, not because she would really care. I reckon she ain't got anyone now, but it's just a matter of time when the thing happens, Phil, and there's not going back from there. Try some new stuff, new positions, costumes, whatever." She sat wearily at the edge of the bed, the environment was safe now, "there's not a lecherous thing women wouldn't like as much as men, Phil." He sprang from her room, and she gave a deep sigh of relief when he was gone. But just in case, she locked her door from the inside. When she was going to fall asleep, there was a huge raven at the windowsill. She had a strange feeling about that animal, it's dark eyes were so penetrating. As if it was watching her and reading her mind. She smirked. There wasn't such a thing as ravens reading your mind! Be reasonable!

In the morning when she went to have a breakfast into the kitchen (Steffie, Jade and Boomer were already having theirs, gorgeous chaps!), she found Judy more cheerful than ever.

"Oh, Helen, there you are, can I have a word after you finish breakfast?"

"Sure thing." Said Sinéad with a soft smile and pretended she hadn't guessed what that word's going to be about. Surely it will concern their love triangle Sinéad was involuntarily dragged into.

"Last night was incredible!" Judy squeaked and watched the kids playing in the garden just with a corner of her eye when she and Sinéad were sitting in their polished white living room, "Phil was so gentle to me, and the sparkle that was there hadn't been there since ages ago–"

"Ok, Judy, I don't wanna sound rude, but I'm not interested." Said she plainly and swung one leg over the other.

"Ok," Judy said and suddenly, the kindness and excitement vanished from her eyes. She completely changed her tone in a blink of an eye. "But I know he went to you first, and just because you turned him down–"

"I didn't turn him down," said she, "I just don't like to be getting something I didn't ask for."

"Don't interrupt me!" Yelled Judy and her otherwise blue eyes were glittering with fury, "and just because you turned him down, he went to me afterwards and gave our lovelife another try!"

"Are you blaming me for not sleeping with your husband, or him that he went to seek an affair in the first place, or yourself that you were not able to keep him entertained for so long?" She asked, and absolutely ignored the fact that Judy was getting pinker and pinker. But she was determined to win the fight for herself. She was innocent and Judy had no right to be reprimanding her.

"You wouldn't be the first one anyway!" Judy yelled and Sinéad just narrowed her eyes, "what did you think?! That you were so different, so high above the standards of other girls that looked after our children?!"

"I think I'm not getting you now." Said she.

"He had an affair with every au-pair we had!" Judy shrieked, "and all of them were more than willing to benefit from it! They kept him entertained, he then went back to me and was buying me reconcilliatory gifts – oh and I always got twice as much as the girls! And now there comes you, our little Miss Perfect, and thinks that you're too good for a man like Phil, a lawyer in his position?! What do you expect me to do now, to do the old bouncing and coaxing like all those little sluts? A man needs his entertainment to keep his wife and to run his household smoothly!"

"At first I thought you were just stupid." Sinéad said coldly, "but now I realised you're both stupid and lazy. You're too lazy to hire a hooker because that would mean explaining the whole neighbourhood what sort of a family you are, and too stupid to see that I tried to help you be the number one again, which again is connected to the fact that you are lazy and don't like doing the stuff yourself, only benefit from it. I'm sick of this family and this house. Say bye to Steffie and Jade, I can only wish they would be better people than yourselves." Sinéad rose to her feet, ignored the astonished face of Judy Brookman, tamped into her old room, picked up her bag and walked out of the door. The raven noiselessly spread out its wings and rose into the air with an elegance of the royal air forces.

She got on her motorbike again, her disturbed feelings were soon soothed by the sharp January wind. She was feeling cold and was just deciding what to do, when a TV commercial started playing itself in her head. It was promoting some travel agency and showing sunny beaches and the sea somewhere in Spain.

"That is a country," Sinéad reminded herself, and suddenly had a strange but brilliant idea: she will travel the world.

She opened her eyes. Her Master was standing right in front of her, his scythe glittering in the dim light.

"The man is about to die. You know what to do."

"Yes, Master."

 **1997**

She opened her eyes. She was in Hogwarts. It was the middle of June and in twenty minutes everything was supposed to be over. Her eyes glowed red, her arms got longer, her back got hunched. She took in a large amount of air and then shrieked with all the might she had. In the castle everyone's hair stood up. The students were frantically running through the corridors and had to be ushered into their houses immediately. Poppy yelped and dropped a bottle of a healing potion. Minerva looked around, then started directing students into their dormitories. Severus stood up from the chair. He could tell he needed to be ready. When she hears about what I'm about to do, he thought, when she hears it was me, she'll never return to me again. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"What's that?!" Ron said in the Gryffindor tower.

"That must be a banshee scream." Said Hermione and worry was reflecting in her eyes.

"About whom can it be? Harry? No!" Ron yelled and got to his feet.

"At least we know it's not one of us." Said Hermione and closed her book with a loud thump.

"How awfully comforting." Said Ginny, smirking.

"CRUCIO!"

"HAGRID!"

At least ten red jinxes hit the half-giant straight into the back of his head. His body became heavy and he fell from the motorbike into the dark. A few other curses shot down the engine.

"HAGRID!" Harry shouted, and tears sprang from his eyes, however, he had to deal with another problem at the moment. The motorbike was falling and he had no idea how to control it.

"Bloody– HELL!" He cried, grasped the handlebars and tried to stop the vehicle from tumbling down rapidly with big roars of desperate failure. No, he can't fall. He can't die like that. Voldemort was on his back, and Harry had to kill him.

"Back up, Potter!" He heard a sudden cry from behind, and just as he looked behind him, an aviator jumped from the plain air, touched down heavily onto the rider's seat and hardly stepped on the gas, punching a button under the handlebars. A secret door opened at the bike's tail and the motorbike sped forward, making a U turn so they were rising into the air again.

"We've lost an engine!" Harry shouted to the anonymous pilot.

"No worries, we've got a backup! My invention." She giggled. "We must increase our altitude, or we won't make it into the destination! Hold on tight!" Cried woman's voice next to him and punched a button on the dashboard. The motorbike sped forward as never in Harry's life.

"It's better to leave them behind for a while thinking that we sank, isn't it?" She turned to Harry now and he suddenly noticed a long plait of red hair flapping wildly in the air behind them.

"Professor Snape!" He gasped, then he realised what he'd just said. "Sinéad!"

"I'm no professor of yours now!" She laughed and concentrated on the space of air in front of her.

"How you– Why you–"

"Harry, would you really think they would put you into a flying sidecar with no one to back up for Hagrid if something happened to him?" She asked him, winking. "No one else knows how to fly this machine." She said, proud. "The last person who knew was…"

"Sirius." Harry breathed.

"Right." She said way less enthusiastically.

"How did you get here anyway?" Harry asked, "it seemed as if you jumped from nowhere."

"And so it was Harry," said she, concentrating on riding very fast, "there was a detector attached to the seat of the motorbike. Should it detect weight being lifted from the seat while the motorbike was still flying, it rang a bell next to which I was waiting, ready to substitute. It might not have been necessary, you know, but we had to count with the option that Hagrid might not be available. And you couldn't die in a motorbike crash, could you?" She winked again. "So I waited next to a Portkey and together with the alarm sounding, the Portkey got activated. So I just touched it and it brought me straight to this motorbike. And I arrived just in time to lift it from a nosedive, don't you think? Which Harry are you anyway?"

"The right one."

"Yes. Alastor said he would be putting the real you with Hagrid. Where is he anyway?"

"He fell down." Harry said and felt like his heart fell with him.

"No worries Harry, the ground squads will pick'im up. They know he's been substituted. D'you think we've shaken 'em off?"

"I hope." Harry said.

"Have your wand ready, boy. I can't fight while riding, so I'll just keep this flying, no worries. But cover my back, will you? We don't have another substitute for me, you know." She said bitterly and stepped on the gas again. The bike roared and sprang forward.

"I haven't seen you for ages." He said.

"Yeah, me neither." She said indifferently. But the indifference was forced.

"I'm sorry about what happened to you." He said.

"No worries." She said indifferently, the indifference forced even more.

"Is it true that you've… you've lost your child? And are apart from–"

"Yes Harry, but it's fine, it's fine." She said, the indifference forced more than ever. She lifted her googles for a second and he could see her wiping her eyes with her leather glove.

"I'm really sorry." He said again, feeling responsible for this as well. He always felt responsible for the bad things that happened to others.

"It's really fine." She said in a voice that indicated she didn't want to stay on this subject.

"Do you think he'll be here tonight? Snape?"

"Maybe," she said and her voice trembled slightly. After a while, she added, "I haven't seen him for a year."

"D'you think he wants to see you?"

"Yes he does. He doesn't want us to be separated."

"Why?"

"Because I know too much Harry." She said with a sigh expressing I-cannot-believe-how-thick-you-are-sometimes.

"D'you reckon he would like to kill you?"

"Maybe," she shrugged her shoulders and continued looking straight forward without any sight of affection, "I don't really care."

When she saw his shocked face, she added: "Now that I lost my only precious… thing. I'd be delighted to die for you in any second Harry. I've nothing to lose now." She said the last sentence almost in a loud whisper, crooked her face for a second, stepped onto the gas again and let her tears which emerged from down her googles be wiped off by the sharp wind which they broke through.

And they flew on into the night.

"The stupid giant got replaced!"

"By whom?!"

"It doesn't matter! They got away! We've gotta find them!"

Death Eaters appeared around them, struggling to fly in the same speed as they did. Severus was indeed one of them, flying now next to the bike and trying to detect the personality of the rider. He or she had a leather helmet, googles and gloves, accompanied by tight pants for horseriding, high black boots and navy jacket. Looking at the braid, it had to be a girl. She was very very thin and very tall. And she was damn good with the bike… Hold on. No. It couldn't have been her. She was with her tribe, far away from the war. Or was she?!

One of the Death Eaters casted a curse. It grazed Sinéad's long braid and the tips of her hair cought fire.

"PUT IT OUT !" She shrieked and struggled to keep the bike levelled despite of her panic.

"Aguamenti!" Harry cried and the black burned part of her hair fell down. Her braid unplaited and long large veil of red hair flew behind now, tangling and flapping.

"Damn it." She cursed, but never ceased controlling the bike. The Death Eaters kept firing spells at the bike and she was maneuvering it frantically, so that Harry had to clutch tight to the handle. One of the streams got caught into the straps of the helmet.

"Merlin's– BEARD!" She cried, pissed off, unfastened the helmet and hung it on her arm.

"I can take it if you like." Harry said, trying to help.

"Thanks Harry. I hate my hair when it tangles." She said in a sorry voice. She was now flying with bare head, but the helmet wasn't of much help anyway.

"Seems like you're having a nice match with your ex." Dolohov's voice sounded in Snape's head. True. When he was flying next to the bike, he could see clearly now who was riding it. His heart stopped. She was here, risking her own death for a world that had taken everything from her. Yet she was riding the bike with utmost eagerness to win. He hasn't seen her for so long… He wished he could see her eyes, but those were covered by the googles she was still wearing. Dolohov sent a green lighted jinx straight at her. Snape quickly used Expeliarmus to contradict it.

"Have you lost your senses?!"

"We mustn't hit the boy!"

So they kept flying, dancing amongst the colourful lights from the Death Eaters' wands like a butterfly.

"He's coming– he's coming again!" Harry yelled and slapped his forehead.

"Okay, hold on!" She shrieked and punched the extra speed button with all her might. They sprang forward, out from the Death Eaters' reach.

"We've got little fuel now but we're almost there!" She yelled. The Death Eaters blew up the other engine that was supporting the motorbike.

"Oh sh*t!" She yelled as they were diving straight into the ground. "We've lost both engines!" The Death Eaters were now diving tight next to them. She kicked another knick-knack with her knee and large membraneous dragon-like wings sprang from the sides of the bike, hitting the Death Eaters on each side painfully. She also stepped on the seat and spred out her arms in an almost ceremonial gesture. They immediately ceased falling, levelled, and became a glider. Simultaneously, much stronger wind wave blew the Death Eaters off their brooms.

"Now it doesn't matter if I am stepping on the gas or not!" She yelled and threw away her goggles. Seating herself again and controlling the handle bar with her right hand, she was ready to fight with her other hand.

"He's coming!" Harry yelled again.

"Don't let go of your wand, boy!" She cried and casted the nearest Death Eater a fire flap by a sharp stretch of her left hand. It was Severus, casting her harmless Expelliarmus – he had to pretend he was fighting back. However, Sinéad wasn't anyhow mild with her blazes.

"Expelliarmus won't do her anything, stupid idiot!"

Severus then used Ossio Dispersimus to incapacitate her, it worked. Her left hand became rubber-like. She yelled and stared at her flabby arm. Flames of fire were still licking his robes and she sent a wind wave and caused him to fly from his direction. He used the curse again on her left leg.

"What do we do? You can't land!"

"We're almost there!"

The motorbike neared the ground, however, it was clear that it is going to hit it. Sinéad had no control over it.

"JUMP!"

"WHAT?!"

So some three metres above the ground, they jumped. The motorbike kept flying with the force of its speed and before anyone could help it, it crashed into the nearby standing pine trees.

"They crashed." Dolohov's voice sounded in Snape's head. "And are over the barrier. We're heading back."

When the other three Death Eaters turned back, he secretly landed into the forest and rushed at it's edge to examine the bike. They weren't there. And he could see from the darkness that the door of the house flung open and figures were running towards someone on the muddy road. He could see the Potter boy, but where was she? Slowly, another tall and very thin figure began to get onto her feet but she couldn't stand because of the damage he'd caused her. The people from the house rushed to her to help. He closed his dark eyes and a single tear dropped onto the grass. He thanked God she was alive. If only he could see her face… The people helped her go inside and he couldn't see her now. So he silently departed, heavy in his heart like before.

"You were so brave!" Harry said when they entered Tonks' parents' home. Sinéad was seated on the sofa and Andromeda was tending to her, however, there wasn't much she could do without the bone-growing potion.

"Don't worry, dear, Molly will surely have some Skelegro to give you." Andromeda was smiling and Ted Tonks was tending to Harry's minor injuries. They took the Portkey to the Burrow and found Molly greatly relieved that the true Harry was unharmed. However, Sinéad collapsed onto the ground as they landed, being of one working leg shorter.

"Merlin's Beard!" Yelled Lupin and rushed to catch her. "Sinéad, blimey, what are you doing here? What happened?"

"I had to substitute for Hagrid."

Mrs Weasley gasped: "No!"

"He's fine, the Dark Lord might have hit him with Crucio curse and he fell off–"

"What happened to you, Sin?" Lupin looked really worried.

"It was Snape." Said Harry firmly. "He vanished her bones so that she couldn't fight him."

Molly smiled: "I'll bring you the Skelegro in a minute dear, just when I'm finished with the others, they're still arriving you see–" and she rushed outside.

"But she was really magnificent." Harry told Remus. "I've never seen a more competent driver of the motorbike. She maneuvered it and installed a second engine and flew it without any engine at all and everything…"

"Harry's exaggerating." Sinéad said, smiling. Remus couldn't help himself, he had to hug her tightly. She requitted his hug, putting her only working hand round his neck.

"I missed you so much!" Remus whispered and Sinéad whispered: "Me too…"

She stayed in the Burrow for the next few days. It was nice to see all the wizarding folk again, and Sinéad could now work with them much more easily when her head was clear. Her husband was a traitor, a Death Eater and a murderer and as soon as she could, she'll get a divorce and start a new life in some Muggle city.

"Mrs. Snape?"

"Yes?" Sinéad got up from the armchair and was looking eye to eye with a very strict-looking ginger man.

"Rufus Scrimgeour." He said with his commander-like voice and shook her hand firmly.

"Pleasure." She said indifferently.

"I'm here to handle the last will and testament of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore for your person madame."

"Don't madame me, I don't like it when I can anticipate what's behind it." She said.

"You don't want to be unpleasant to the Minister of Magic, Mrs. Snape." Growled Scrimgeour and pulling out a tiny flask containing liquid he held it before Sinéad's face.

"Anyhow familiar with this?" He asked.

"Never seen it before." She said coldly.

"You don't want to lie to me, Mrs. Snape… After all, we at the Ministry have our ways of investigation…" Murmured the Minister and placed the flask into her slender out-stretched hand.

"I'm not lying, so I'm not afraid to undergo any investigation of yours." Said she resolutely and he remained silent for a while.

"What can you tell me about your husband, Mrs. Snape?"

"He hates children and wears a white T-shirt to bed." She said indifferently.

"Don't play games with me," growled Scrimgeour, "I know you know that he planned the murder of Albus Dumbledore all along, so tell me, how exactly had it been planned?"

"Mr. Scrimgeour," Sinéad said calmly and her emerald eyes pierced him like spiky needles, "My husband and I are separated for more than a year. Do you really believe I know his plans, with whom he goes and where, or his thoughts? I've nothing in common with him anymore, just the name."

The Minister for Magic casted her a very disapproving look, got to his feet, and walked out the living room of the Burrow.

"What's this?" She held the tiny flask before Harry's eyes.

"It contains memories." Said Harry, "who gave it to you?"

"Scrimgeour, Dumbledore left it for me. How do I get to see them?"

"You need to go to the Headmaster's Office in Hogwarts, there is a marble shallow bowl called Pensieve. You spill the contents inside and stick your head into the bowl." Harry explained and his green eyes were questioning hers: "Why do you think he left them to you?"

"Maybe there's something he wants me to see." She said and squeezed her hand around the flask.

"You need to get to Hogwarts though." Said Ginny who was eavesdropping.

"I believe the Headmaster still has a soft spot for me after all the time that passed by so I presume it shan't be a disaster when I'm seen." Sinéad said and was examining the contents of the flask.

"But who knows, maybe he got rid of the Pensieve." Said Harry.

"I'm gonna go there tonight." She said resolutely, "I need to see what Dumbledore had to tell me."

"How? Your bike's crashed. It will take Dad ages to–"

"I'll use Floo powder."

 **In the memories**

There was a dark room. Sinéad didn't recognize anything. It was a shabby and musty living room. There was a ginger haired man with a beard standing in the corner, patiently waiting for something. He had a crescent-like glasses and sharp blue eyes.

"Albus? What are you– What does this—"

He didn't move a bit. Before Sinéad could investigate the room further, there was a woman's cry.

"No! Tobias! Don't do this!"

The door leading to the living room burst open and little pale dark-haired boy ran through it, hid behind a sofa and was trembling with fear.

"He's not buying any damn stuff to go to any damn school!" Roared a man who staggered into the room, obviously drunk. He held a bottle with one hand and a knife with the other. When Sinéad looked at him, the sight of him was revolting. A woman ran after him, and tried to hold the hand of his which held the knife in order to stop him from throwing the knife at the boy. She had many bruises and scratches, hollow cheeks, matted black hair, hooked nose, yellowish skin and a black-eye. Finally Sinéad recognized the scene. It was Severus' mother, and the boy was…

"You and that brat of yours, go to hell!" He roared, threw his wife on the floor and aimed at Severus hiding behind the sofa, panting heavily. Sinéad yelled and instinctively casted herself in between the drunk father and his child. She didn't know why, she didn't think of it. What she knew is that she suddenly stood there in the trajectory of the knife with her arms spread wide. With a flick of his wand, Dumbledore let the knife disappear and turned towards the man.

The scene changed. Now they were at Hogwarts, it was a sunny summer day. The students were streaming out of the building with their uniforms loosened and were chatting and laughing. But there was one boy who was aside. He might be of twelve or thirteen years of age, he had long black greasy hair and looked constantly on the ground. He was hurrying past a group of Gryffindor students and judging by the pace of his steps and the direction of his look, he didn't want to be noticed. However, the Gryffindor lads did spot him.

"Look who's here, our little snivelly friend!" Cried a boy with shoulder-length hair. A boy with a pair of round glasses pulled out his wand and was ready to fight. The other two laughed as if they'd just heard a brilliant joke. Sinéad turned around and to her immense surprise found Dumbledore just behind her, with his eyes solemn and a little frown sitting on his lips.

"Do something! Don't stand here as if you were watching a play in a theatre!" She yelled, however, reminded herself again that the man couldn't hear her. She felt a strong urge to run after the boys, to yell at them, to put them in detention for bullying their fellow student. But these were just memories. The boys reached Severus and disarmed him, however with a great difficulty, they all seemed unpractised.

"Stop it!" She yelled, being really angry. She even hissed like a wild cat.

The scene changed.

"I've told you so many times that I'm sorry!" Howled Severus and looked as if he were about to die in the next second. Lily stood against him with her arms folded and she was frowning, she seemed not to care at all for any apologies he could make.

"Save your breath! I've heard your opinion quite well!" She spat and her green eyes glowed with anger.

"It was just because Potter-"

"DON'T DRAG JAMES INTO IT!"

"He made me angry and-"

"And what?! You just forgot not to insult your ex-best friend?! Oh come on, Severus, I don't believe in any fabrications you can produce!"

"NO! LILY!"

The scene changed. All the five boys were there again, much older now. All of them had their wands out, and were pointing at one another's faces. More precisely, the four were pointing into Severus' and he was pointing at James whom he reckoned as the greatest threat.

"Our dear snivelly friend, I am pleased to announce that Mr. Potter and Miss Evans just celebrated a half-year of going out with each other." Declared Sirius in a festive manner, the others burst out laughing. Snape got pale with hatred and anger.

"Not really with each other only, we've been to their dates most of the time," smirked Lupin and Pettigrew squaked with joy.

"You stole her… You stole her from me!" Snape roared and pointed with his wand at James. All the others instinctively formed a wall in front of Potter.

"She chose herself." James spat and his face was hideous, it was crooked in disgust and scorn.

"I hope you didn't even think she would be your friend again, did you, you fool?!" Sirius hissed and all their squad roared with laughter. It was awfully funny.

"Especially after all that James told her about you!" Peter squeaked and even he looked as an awfully upset pig.

"YOU!" Severus bellowed and sent a jinx at James. A fight began. It was fierce, but it wasn't hard to predict the winner. When they were four at one…

The scene changed. There were only two people hiding behind a column, it was James and Lily. She was tugging at her hair and looked very nervous and irresolute.

"James, the school is almost over, don't you think I should reconcile with him? I don't want to have any unresolved extinct friendships hanging in the air, if only I went to see him and told him all was well–"

"Lily, love, think what he said to you!" Said he very suggestively, "do you think he would care for a reconcilliation?"

"But James–"

"Peter heard him saying something outrageous about Muggle-born students just last week. I really think you should spare yourself the effort. Just take it as a friendship where both of them had different interests, and you'll certainly feel better."

"Maybe you're right, James."

The scene changed.

"I'm pregnant again!" Lily said with a smile, she seemed to be really happy about it.

"Congratulations," Dumbledore smiled through his crescent-like glasses.

"Professor, I have an important thing to ask your opinion about." She changed her tone so suddenly it made Sinéad raise her eyebrows. "I was really considering making peace with Severus, the thought hunts me day and night. I think I could talk James into doing the same thing, being a father has made him a bit milder after all… Do you think it's a good idea to make Severus a godfather of our child? Do you think he would care?"

"You can always hope for the best," said Dumbledore encouragingly and patted her hand.

The scene changed. Snape now looked much older, very much like today, and Dumbledore had a very large wound stretched across his right arm. In fact, the hand was rather dying and it was a miracle that it still held together and didn't fall apart.

"You can't go on like that for long." Snape said and seemed not to be affected by the content of his utterance whatsoever.

"You must do it soon." Albus whispered in pain and closed his eyes.

"Must I? Really?!" Snape snapped and didn't bother to cast his superior another look.

"You're my only hope… Please…" The old headmaster whispered. "I can't die… In pain like this. You must be merciful with me! One curse, the final and the terminal one . One curse will solve all my troubles. One curse!"

"You haven't asked what that one simple curse meant for me!" Snape snapped again.

"Well, what does it mean to you?"

"It means that my life is doomed. My soul is split apart forever with murder and my wife won't speak to me again. Any chances she would return to me are just-" he flung himself into an armchair and put his head into his hands, "gone!" He started crying. He really started crying! Sinéad stood shocked, not knowing what to do or say.

"Well it cannot be much worse for her, can it? Remember when I ordered you to leave her alone and pregnant in your house, I can remember how much you objected to my orders…"

She was shocked to an utmost level, she was as shocked as she could be. So it wasn't his mind at all. It was all on Dumbledore's orders. It was all on Dumbledore's orders! She was so disgusted, so much that she deliberately pulled her head out of the Pensieve. Everything seemed completely different. The office, the furniture, the portraits. Staring into the open space, she didn't even notice one of the portraits moving.

"Nice to see you again, Sinéad." Said Dumbledore's portrait.

She turned to him and he realised that tears were streaming down her cheeks. She was standing there, her face crooked, she was sobbing. He waited what was going to happen next.

"Such cruelty executed– such injustice, such selfishness!" She cried. "You- YOU!"

"We're all human, Sinéad." Said Dumbledore weakly. "I only did as I judged best. I thought that I might actually induce him to–"

"No intentions can cover up for you!" She shrieked. "You saw it all with your own eyes! You saw the bullying! Why didn't you stand up for him?! Why didn't you teach James Potter and his squad a lesson! Is it because the Gryffindors are always favoured?!"

"I made some wrong choices Sinéad," Dumbledore breathed out, exhausted, "and I never realised how horribly he was treated just until when I needed him most."

"YOU ARE THE REASON WHY IT ALL TURNED OUT SO BAD!" She shrieked with all her power and few of the glass windows shattered by the force of the sound.

"Sinéad…" Dumbledore gave a wail and was shedding large tears in his portrait frame, "it is all my fault… All my fault!"

"What do I do?" Asked Sinéad.

"Just follow the light." Dumbledore said weakly and a tiny ball of blue light appeared in front of her, floating towards the door. She followed, passing through empty corridors which were more than familiar, opening doors, the light flew faster and faster and she had to run… The set of familiar stony cold corridors… Torches passing by fast like streetlamps… She burst the door open, panting heavily, holding the handle. A man sprang from the table at which he was sitting and writing something… She could see the unbelieving expression in his face.

"Sinéad?!"

Her face was surely looking as surprised as his did. She didn't realise where she was going.

"Has something happened?" He asked with concern, ushering her to his seat in his office, which, despite the fact he was a newly appointed Headmaster of Hogwarts, remained unchanged. Perhaps he was soon to shift into the round office left empty by Dumbledore's depart?

"No, can't I be here even if nothing happens?" She asked, attempting to wriggle out from the situation. She didn't plan it like that. She even didn't know if she ever wanted to go back, even though it was all Dumbledore's fault. Just as he said!

"Of course you can." He smiled, and the smile was cordial, happy and very affected, "but you seemed surprised to find me here."

"Oh, I…" She smiled and blushed, "to tell the truth, I originally went to Hogwarts just to see the memories Dumbledore left me, and then I got kinda… redirected here."

"Ah, those?" He raised his eyebrows, obviously aware of the content, "I've been telling him for weeks not to leave them to you."

"Why, aren't you glad I've learnt the truth?" She asked.

"Would it help?" He asked and smiled bitterly, "in the eyes of others, I'm a die-hard Death Eater and the murderer of Albus Dumbledore whom everyone so deeply loved."

"I believe I've told you sometime during the long time we've been together: it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, what you think is what matters."

"What difference does it make?" He said and his face changed into a sad, broken one, "I've no place to go besides the dark circles. I couldn't even see you because the Order has its people everywhere. My whole future is doomed to the life in the darkness. And even if I begged you, you wouldn't return to me, to such a life…"

She tried to change the subject, to divert them both from the irreversible decision she had to make that night: "My Master told me a large amount of souls is to be obtained by him soon enough."

"What does it mean?" He asked.

"My Master is Death, Severus." She said. "I hoped you realised a few weeks ago when I was keening…"

"What does he mean, 'large amount of souls'?"

"He means a large number at a time," she said mysteriously and winked, "there is going to be a huge battle soon enough."

"When?" He said, hope in his voice.

"I do not know. My Master knows the day, the month, the hour of any soul's end in this world. But I wasn't even supposed to tell you about the battle…" She blushed and bit her lip.

"You little chatterbox, that's typical," he smiled and slowly extended his hand to gently place a stream of her hair behind her ear. She shivered and her large scared eyes followed the movement of his hand.

"I hope you aren't afraid of my touch after all that happened?" He said softly.

"I've grown not to be used to a man's hand anymore." She whispered.

"Oh, you timid untamed lamb…" He whispered, however, withdrew his hand and resisted the temptation to place it onto the back of hers which lied on the table. He must give her time. That was crucial. He must let her come back like a dog that had been beaten.

"There might be one thing for which I came," she said and seemed like she remembered something, "I wanted to tell you I was terribly, terribly sorry…" Placing her hand on top of his, she forced her heartbeat to calm down, even though the corner of her eye twitched with the touch.

"For what?" He raised his eyebrows.

"For all the bad things others did to you." She said softly and her upper lip was shaking. "It was… unimaginable. I'm sorry for all the bad choices you had to withstand. And I've come to tell you something else. I admire you for your deep conviction and determination. And…" she paused, fidgeted and blushed, "how ardently and truly I sympathise and feel for you."

"My Titania…" He whispered, he couldn't help it, he had to bend across the table to kiss her. She jerked, but did not withdraw.

"So, what do we do?" She asked, smiling and blushing, her eyes low, her face red.

"Does this mean you are back?" He asked, his black eyes imbibing hers. She couldn't help it. They absorbed her, they fascinated her, they made her want never to part with them again.

"Yes." She whispered. "I'm back. I couldn't walk away from it. There's no way of walking away from what's happening."


	26. When someone has to go…

_My Titania,_

 _I dread the end, I fear it's near. If you only could see the place to which I've been appointed Headmaster, you'd be horrified! I must not enclose the current state of things nor my personal intentions with the place, but I can entrust you one thing. I miss you. My veins are empty, my heart doesn't live on anything else but you. I wish to feel you near me, yet I fear you wouldn't come. I miss your glowing skin and your voice, your hair and your eyes, your eyelashes and your smile. Let me reminisce about you for a thousandth time, I shall surrender to you as I did always._

 _Your Prince_

* * *

 _My Prince,_

 _I am not worthy neither of the name you gave me nor of the powerful memories I appear in. When was the last time we were happy together, not being troubled by anything? I am troubled by everything now, still I cannot forget. I'm not happy here, my Prince, I enclose this to you, yet I still somehow call it Home, isn't it strange? I have a feeling that I don't belong, my Prince. The ground doesn't echo my steps as it used to do. Meals prepared by the old women now seem dull and lacking. What do I lack, my Prince? Have I tasted the most heavenly food so that I frown at any other? When was it that I first took it into my mouth? It must have been in the castle. When was it? Which moment? Was it with you? Which bite seduced me?_

 _(letter sent without any signature)_

* * *

 _My dearest Titania,_

 _I hope you are well in the country, and that you are not in a need of anything. How's the weather?_  
 _Oh, Titania! How hard it is to write to you such common, everyday sentences! I would write them to my niece if I had one, to my mother were she alive, but not to you. Titania, wake your curiosity if you have some left, I have a secret to disclose. My rich nourishment in the castle seems to lack exactly the same thing your country vegetable soups are. Is it the spice? Perhaps. Yet the elves preparing the dishes had not diverted from their recipes a bit, they keep them for generations, and although everything in this castle is a subject to my will, I cannot have better meals upon the most solemn command. I cannot say how or why, yet I know that one single hair of yours would change all tastes back to how they used to be, and even better!_  
 _Come to me, Titania, I beg you, yet I know my words are in vain. Embrace me, Titania, yet I know a tree would obey to my pleas rather than you. Visit my in my dream, Titania, yet I know that illusion must be false and coerced. Yet I'll feed on it as vigorously as I can, lest it disappears._  
 _Titania, Titania, I have nothing left when I can't have you._

 _Your Prince_

* * *

 _My Prince,_

 _I pray you, let go of your pain so that I can let go of mine. You have hurt me by your absence when I needed you most so I reckoned it best if I do the same. Cruel, cruel me! A creature like me should not be allowed to tread the surface of earth. Don't call me Titania, the name of Morrígan I deserve better for this mythical witch had beaten her lover and then humiliated him most viciously. From what you say I reckon I cannot join you in your pain, I cannot join you in the castle, not until the war is over. I have enough of that disturbing war climate – as you well know. Grant me some more time, my Prince, in the name of your generosity that I am well aware you possess, and I shall be reborn anew from my sorrows and reunited with you soon._

 _(letter sent without any signature)_

* * *

 _My dear Titania_

 _I grant you as much time as you wish, and gladly, but I am afraid it is your Master who doesn't do us the favour. We are running out of the time we have together, Titania, and I fear the end will come very soon. Don't you have a heart, my Titania? How can you let a man suffer in your hands like this? Yet I don't blame you, you powerful magician who entangled me into her webs and smiles and glances. Keep me your prisoner, and I'll thank you for it every day that I can live and breathe. I miss you beyond any measure, Titania, you're the embodiment of humaneness and all that is dear to me. I need to beg you in every letter to come and be with me here, yet I fear the cruel environment would kill you like a rare flower. Oh but how I suffer! I love you, Titania, and I'll never be tired of repeating it, I love you, I love you, I love you! If only ink and parchment could increase the value of these words, there wouldn't be any supplies left on the whole world since I would use them all for your sake! There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, give me a word, a sign, a glance, and I'll do anything you please! Just one frown of yours and I kill anyone who offends you. Just one smile of yours and I'm eternally rewarded. How I wish to have you here! We would lie on the grass slopes and watch the sky, or we would play chess together as we used to do, we would eat together and laugh together and talk together and swear together and sleep together and make love together. I'd be an entirely new man for you, just as you'd like me to be…_

 _(here Sinéad had to stop reading every time she attempted to do so and had to weep for hours on end, cursing the fate, the stars, the wizards, Dumbledore, Voldemort and all the gods she knew)_

* * *

 _Oh, my Prince, my Prince!_

 _I'm almost shaken in my conviction, I am actually elaborating the most complicated plots to get to Hogwarts right now! Your words have struck my heart like a barbarian's lance, enough, enough of this mutual suffering! The war will be over soon, that's what I know, and I'll wait for you, and we shall be eternally happy together. We'll move to the country and we'll enjoy our secluded life in the arms of one another._

 _Your Titania_

* * *

"It's good to see you." Professor McGonagall said to Harry with a somehow muffled voice.

"Hey Harry!" Dean Thomas was pointing out from the Great Hall window.

"Not now, Dean!" Harry snapped, "we need to find the diadem!"

"But you should definitely see this!"

Harry ran to the window. There was a red sea moving on the top of the hill opposite Hogwarts Castle. Red sea?! Harry squinted his eyes. They were people.

"Blimey!" Seamus laughed, looking with field glasses. "Guess who's that!"

Harry borrowed his field glasses.

They were men. And women. A huge crowd of perhaps 300 people was marching down the hill, their mouths moving in a well-coordinated way. Harry thought they were singing some fight-song. They were marching with the rhytm and were hammering on their war shields to accompany their terrifying war chant. But what else was glistening in the darkness? They held torches. Some of them carried bows and arrows too, the majority of them carried swords, some of them had halberds. The men looked even worse then the women, their beards red and horribly bushy, swinging weapons over their heads and bellowing as if they were about to tear someone's head off. But whom was leading them? There was a queen riding on a black horse in front of the army, holding the reins with one hand and a massive lance with the other, giving the rhytm of the war song. The horse was cantering down the hill, closely followed by the crowd. They were impressive. Terrifying. Powerful.

"It's Sinéad!" Neville yelled and covered his mouth.

No. It couldn't be her – so barbarous, so wild. More people were now looking out from the windows, yelping and gasping. The crowd marched with mile-like steps. Harry could now hear their petrifying wild song and the hair at the back of his head stood up in horror. The Death Eaters spotted them as well, running away to all directions from the path of the crowd like a bunch of frightened black ants. The warriors were like beasts, chanting, roaring, yelling. They destroyed small trees and bushes as they stamped the ground. When they finally stopped in front of the Entrance Gate, it was only Harry who dared to approach them. The men looked very, very mad, the women were coarse and unkempt. Was it really saucepans they carried as their weapons? A tall figure of his ex-professor dismounted from her Frisian horse smoothly and smiled at Harry.

"We've made it at last! We got a bit delayed, but, I hope we can still help?"

"This is amazing, Prof– Sinéad, I really don't know what to say–"

"He is pleasantly surprised to see us." Sinéad said in the language of the tribe and they all gave a chuckling laugh. Sinéad then said something more and the entire army, men and women, knelt on one knee like knights, offering all their weapons to Harry. The boy stood frozen on the spot, he didn't know what to say. Finally, he stammered:

"M-Me? They are offering their weapons to… Me?!"

"F'course we are," a very dangerous-looking woman in front growled, "I thought you said he was clever."

"Harry, that's my lovely sister Éimear." Sinéad winked and pointed her hand. "And this," she pointed to a kindly-smiling girl of similar appearance to Sinéad's, "is my little sister Méav."

"Pleased to meet you," Harry smiled feebly and waved to all the warriors, "your help is much appreciated, but I really don't want anyone of you to die for me, really–"

"Don't be ridiculous, we're here because we wanted to help!" Méav smiled. Éimear smirked spitefully – she obviously didn't agree with her.

"Tell us what we have to do, Harry." Sinéad said with a smile.

"I don't know, ask Kingsley." Harry said in an evasive manner and ran after the search of the last Horcrux.

Sinéad yelled something stimulating and all the warriors started crying, energized and ready to fight. She devised a brilliant strategy for the battle. She had taught the warriors all that she knew about spells and their energy, she had taught them that the green light is the most dangerous one, and they spent weeks training how to evade the streams of light springing from the tips of the wands. Sinéad had figured out a plan. She won't fight. She'll sit in a strategic place with her legs crossed and her palms connected and she'll connect her energy to every weapon her tribe carried, so that the warriors could deflect the spells by hitting the streams of light with their swords or saucepans. The energy will be exactly the same as Sinéad had developed for deflecting spells before, the one she had been working on with Harry Potter.

* * *

Severus saw them all. He saw them cantering down the hill, he saw them getting ready to fight, he saw them take positions and he saw Sinéad concentrating her energy in her strategic place. His legs started walking forward. He had to see her, now or never. He hadn't seen her since her visit to the castle. That was nearly a year ago. He suffered without her for so long, but tonight, an end will be put to his suffering. Those two years, that wasn't life. That was just surviving to help the Potter boy. But it will soon be over, and he'll wait for her– she'll wait for him… He approached the platform where Sinéad was levitating, her eyes closed. Her beautiful eyes. The guard approached him threateningly, but the other guard, her sister, yelled:

"It's her husband, it's you!"

"Could I talk to her for a second?"

She measured him with her clear blue eyes. Deciding it would be safe, she told something to the other guard and they let him approach her. Sinéad didn't gave any signs that she noticed his presence. He coughed nervously to get her attention.

"I know you're here." Said she, still sitting in the same pose, her eyes still closed.

"I will be killed tonight. He's already decided it." He said, his sad black eyes looking straight at her.

"I know." She said and her voice broke. She opened her emerald eyes and stood up. To her immense surprise, she found Severus in tears. He took her hands.

"I'm so sorry…" His tears were dropping on the fresh grass. "I'm so sorry for all what happened! It was my fault, all my fault! Everything! I didn't mean to- to do all this to you, I'm so sorry!" Sinéad's eyes started to fill with tears. She didn't see a Potions Master, nor a Death Eater, nor a teacher from Hogwarts, nor a member of the Order, nor a wizard. She saw a heartbroken man who for two times in his life already didn't manage to save the woman he loved. She saw a man who had no other option left for him than death.

"It's all right, I… I'll die with you."

"You can't!" He seized her in a very tight embrace, running his hand through her hair frantically. "You can't, Sinéad, promise me…" He looked worse than the night when Lily died. "Promise me you will stay safe!"

"If this must be the end for us, for the two of us, let it be. For I cannot live without you." Said Sinéad softly.

She just stood there, barefoot, in her ball gown that was all torn and scruffy, smiling. Suddenly, it seemed to him that she'd never been more beautiful.

"He calls me… I must go." He whispered, touched her face for the last time and gave her his last long passionate kiss. "I've always loved you… Just wait for me. Wait for me, okay? We will… I'll figure something out for us, right? I'll try to escape his deadly will."

* * *

The battle began. Red haired men and women fought like wolves, drawing level by physical strength what Death Eaters could do by magic. The red tribe was merciless, doing as much damage to the Death Eaters as the Death Eaters did to the "good folks" the red haired people were sided with. Because the good folks wanted peace, and were threatened, that's what Sinéad said, and the wild tribe felt obliged to help them restore the peace. But the evil folks were so strong! They were so treacherous, and so quick, and were wanting to harm the red haired tribe just as much as they were wanting to harm the good folks with wands which did spells the red haired folks haven't seen before. Sometimes they stopped fighting just to watch the battling spells. They were like sun rays dancing on the surface of a lake in July. The red haired people liked wands and spells, they felt attracted by them but also feared them greatly, like a wolf attracted to fire. But there was one particular person who had other prospects in mind than just winning the good folks' battle. Éimear regretted they arrived at the battlefield in such haste, because she would like to observe the evil folks, what they were like. She was even hoping to make personal alliance with them to overthrow her elder sister. Yes, Sinéad was a thorn in Éimear's side, Éimear saw her sister's sovereignty as unauthorised and unearned and planned to get rid of her as soon as possible. Yes, get rid of her and of that bastard too…

* * *

He must escape the Dark Lord, he must find a way to do it, and he must give Potter the instructions Dumbledore gave him concerning the last horcrux hidden inside the boy… There must be a way… He has to think of something, come on, he was the most brilliant wizard of them all, he always came up with something…  
"You've been a good and faithful servant Severus," whispered Voldemort, "but only I can live forever."  
What?! Wait! No! Sinéad!  
The snake's teeth buried into his neck didn't hurt as much as one would think. His good reason abandoned him. He was helpless there, left on the ground to die by Voldemort who vanished, and now it was too late. Too late for everything. He couldn't give his instructions to Potter… And he'll never see his beautiful wife again… Everything was lost… His eyes were closing… Death stretched his hand towards him, and he went to grasp it… But wait a second, he told Death, here's Potter, he's coming, he's kneeling beside me, I must do the last task I was asked to do!  
Well then, said Death and waited.  
"Look… at… me…" Snape whispered. He had to look in Potter's eyes for the last time. These were the eyes of his beloved wife… Sinéad… And his once beloved Lily… He gave him the key, the key to everything. And for the first time in his life, he gave him his true reasons for helping him and Dumbledore. Potter must believe him in order to complete the plan devised years ago. Potter must believe him.  
"You have your mother's eyes…" Whispered Snape and added: "…and my wife's…"  
And his hand thumped on the ground and Snape didn't move again.

* * *

Her world stopped. Her heart stopped. She knew it immediately. She ceased to meditate and to give her tribe the spell-deflecting energy it needed and ran towards the Shrieking Shack.  
"Sinéad! Where are you going! Wait!" Her sister ran after her, leaving the last guardian at their energy station alone and puzzled. Sinéad flew faster than air, she was jumping across rocks and bushes and she burst into the Shack just after Harry, Ron, and Hermione left it. She gave a cry of horror and knelt beside her husband, her dress soaking up with his blood all over the place.  
"No, no, no, no, no…" She kept repeating and made some vague attempts to stop the bleeding and to bring her beloved husband back to life.  
"Sinéad…" The voice of her sister sounded so distant, and so mature, "it's too late now. His body is getting cold. Go now, there's nothing you can do–"  
"NOOO!" Her sister shrieked hysterically, "I must– he promised me– He cannot go–"  
"Sinéad, you were separated for two years," her sister's distant voice reminded her, "you stopped loving him long ago."  
"NO!" Her sister's desperate voice cried again, "w-we were w-writing letters to e-each other… And w-we promised e-each other to c-come back after t-the war…" Méav has never seen her sister so desperate. Sinéad couldn't almost talk through the huge sobs and wails and she turned into a hunched pile of misery over her husband's dead body.  
"He loved me… And I loved him… I was waiting for him… And he was waiting for me… WHY?! WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO?! We were promised!" Her sister's wailing was less and less human with every next sob. But she wasn't turning into a Banshee again, no, her cry was less and less human because the pain in it was less and less human. Her dress was drenched with tears and blood. She began to search desperately around for anything, anything, so that she could…  
"I am going with him." Sinéad said resolutely and continued sobbing, "I'm going with him! Give me something sharp–"  
Her sister grasped both her hands so that Sinéad couldn't harm herself and looked her straight in her green eyes.  
"Do you really love him so much?! So much that you would go with him?!"  
"In any second." Sinéad's coarse voice finished Méav's sentence.  
"This is all I need to know." Said Méav and closed her eyes. She put her palms onto the man's neck which sustained the greatest injury and began to form blue orbits round her hands.  
"Méav, there's no point healing him, he's dead." Sinéad's cracked voice said.  
"You'll see." Said her younger sister softly. After a while, the wound stopped bleeding heavily – the slash was closing itself.  
"I cannot close it entirely, because there's a lot of snake venom in his blood and the wound must purify itself over time," said Méav, "but I need a blood supplement. Doesn't he have some? He was working with potions, right? He ought to have some."  
Yes! The box of his last resort, as he liked to call it, where all the necessary potions were ready in tiny flasks, that's what he had!  
"Sinéad," Méav's eyes looked at her as serious as never before, "I'm bringing him back to life for you. But you must go now and bring the supplement and any other useful potion you find. Go, quick!"  
"Bringing him back to life…" Her elder sister watched her with her mouth open, "must go…" She repeated it absent-mindedly as if she still wasn't able to comprehend what was going on.  
"GO!" Méav bellowed and the sound finally woke her sister up from mental idleness. She rushed away, breaking the door of the Shack. She sprinted through the castle, slipping out from the people who tried to stop her and ask her what was going on, why was she all covered in blood. She sprinted through the corridors, disregarding any stinging pain in her lungs. She broke into the Headmaster's office and grabbed the box she recognized at first sight. Sprinting back with the box, jumping across bodies on the floors, she didn't have time to look at them, she didn't have time to stop…  
She was finally in the Shack again, feeling as if she would spit her lungs out in any next second.  
"And now, Sinéad, you have to help me…" Her sister said weakly. Her palms had changed the color of the energy they were transferring into Severus' body – now it wasn't blue, but light green.  
"Give him the blood supplement – don't mix them up – right. His body should react to it soon."  
"Are we… Are we really bringing him back to life?!" Sinéad still couldn't believe it!  
"Yes," her sister smiled weakly.  
"I'll be eternally grateful– I'll give you anything you want–" Sinéad couldn't find a way to express her immense outburst of gratitude towards her sister. Her precious, dear husband will live!  
"Put your hands on the top of mine and don't let my hands move." Her sister ordered. She was turning paler and paler, and sadder and sadder.  
"What are we doing? How does this work?"  
"This… is a very, very bad thing to do, Sinéad. Only a few people know about it… It's extremely dangerous and it requires… sacrifice."  
"What do you mean?!" Her sister's green eyes were popped out and terror was again creeping into her veins.  
"It is against the laws of the nature, to bring someone back from the dead. It's an unnatural thing to do. But it is possible. And it is possible only by keeping the balance."  
"Keeping the balance?"  
"When someone has to go, when the Nature must be shorter of one human being, it must happen. When Death must get one soul, it must have it. So to explain it more precisely, I'm not bringing him back, I'm putting myself in his place. I'm exchanging his life for mine." Méav said softly.  
"No!" Sinéad cried and pulled at her sister's hands, "I won't let you!"  
"It's too late to change our minds now," Méav gave a weak smile, "if you interrupt the process, both me and him will be dead. You must help me finish it until the end."  
"Okay," Sinéad said and new hot tears were streaming down her cheeks, "okay. But I'll never forget you, Méav! I shall thank you for the rest of my life!" Her voice was trembling and shaking, it was too much, too much emotion – on one hand, she was overjoyed by getting her husband back – on the other hand, if it required the life of her sister, she wasn't sure if she wanted it to happen. She should've said no. Or could she? She wished her husband to be alive with all her heart. But only now, she was able to realize she was losing her sister. But the pain of the loss was a bit smaller than it had been before. Her heart was terribly, terribly said, grief stricken, but now at least, it didn't want to explode and die.  
"Sinéad…" Her sister whispered weakly. The process was almost finished, "I have a big favor to ask…"  
"No favor is big for me." Her sister reassured her immediately.  
"There is a small baby hidden in our village…" Whispered Méav, "one of the old women is taking care of him. He's my son, Sinéad." Méav's blue eyes were filled with tears.  
"How can he be– When did you–"  
"It's not important when or why, Sinéad. I made a mistake. I fell in love with a Porkhead, and I had my son afterwards. I hid him, I didn't want anybody to see– I was ashamed. I made a mistake. I didn't know what to do. He's just a little baby. And I didn't want to trouble you, you had your head full of your own misfortune. And then this battle was taking place, and I wanted to help. So I hid him, because Éimear had found him out, and promised to kill him when we get back from here. And I decided to take my baby boy and go away from you all, because Éimear is attempting on my life also, and on yours as well, just so you know. She thinks you have no right to rule, that you've been far away for too long and you are spoilt, and she plans to have a riot when we come back, and kill you as well and rule herself. She's a wicked, wicked woman and I shall bear her the grudge forever for wanting to kill an innocent baby. But now, Sinéad, you'll have your husband back. Please take my boy, and raise him as your own. He'll have a good mother and father, and that's more than he would ever have with me. Please spare him and yourself from the danger, and I'll be eternally indebted. Please, Sinéad, save my boy. That's my last wish."  
Both of their faces were wet with tears.  
"Méav, my dearest sister, I swear to save your child, and I promise to take him with us wherever we go, and I promise you that I'll protect him and take care of him as if he were my own son."  
"Thank you, Sinéad, thank you." Méav smiled weakly and with her last breath, she said: "You're way better person than I was, Shin…" And then her body got heavy, her hands got limp and the energy stopped, so Sinéad didn't have to hold them anymore, and her sister's eyes closed and with a loud thump, her body fell to the floor. Sinéad was just about to suffer another terrible shock and start once more her bitter crying, but then her husband's eyelids quivered and his lips took in a tiny amount of air. He was alive.

* * *

 _ **Here my story finishes, my dear readers. You've been through it with me, you've been through what I've been devising the past two years, and here's the end of it. Whenever I create a story, I live on it for a while. And I've been living on this one for too long, and I realised I couldn't anymore. I have devised the beginning, the climax and the ending, and I'm putting it in front of you right as it was going on in my head those years. A little epilogue will follow, because I simply cannot leave you without any further context, the epilogue is about Sinéad's and Severus' children, one chapter for each.**_

 _ **Thank you for all this. Hadn't it been for this page, I would have never put an end to the story, and it would disappear in my head over time. Thank you.**_


	27. Epilogue I – Finn's tale

**27**

 **Epilogue I – Finn's Tale**

Sinéad flew the motorbike as fast as she could in the darkness. She didn't know where to go and knew she had to avoid staying in the air for a long time because she was making quite a large target for any wizard flying nearby. She didn't know if the war had been won or lost, and she didn't care. Even if it were won, the wizards might bring her down by mistake, and even if it were lost the escaping Death Eaters could punish Severus should they find out in any way that he wasn't dead. Plus, on top of all that, flying wasn't really good for a patient in his condition and she could be sure even the tiniest turbulence was shaking his weak and feeble body. Occasionally, she threw him a quick glance as she was riding. He lied half-seated in his canoe-like bed, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open. The wind was ruffling his hair and he seemed to be asleep. Thank God, thought Sinéad and rode on. Where will we lay our heads, thought Sinéad, and she felt like crying again. But suddenly, something at her waistline gave a sting. It was Severus' wand, dark and thin and light, and tiny sparkles were shot from the tip. She made sure she had the bike under control and pulled out the wand slowly. Suddenly, her hand holding the wand was drawn by an invisible force and was now pointing northwest. Sinéad wasn't sure what the wand was doing, but it seemed as if it tried to help its owner. And Sinéad could do with a little help.

A few hours later she was able to find a dilapidated cottage with the help of Severus' wand (the little piece of wood was actually brilliantly cooperating for the majority of time). She tried to land as softly as she could in order not to injure the patient, however, she couldn't avoid a little thud when the bike touched the ground. The patient's head swayed dangerously. She slid off the bike as if it were a horse and began exploring the hut. It was in an awful state. There were cobwebs everywhere, the glass was missing in the windows, there was at least an inchful of dust on every visible surface and some of the rafters were broken and hanging dangerously loose. The hut had two rooms, one bigger where there was a fireplace and a broken bed and one smaller adjacent to the big one. At least the location was good, it was deep in the forest and well hidden from either any curious hiker and from above.

Sinéad held up the tears that were coming into her eyes and whispered to the wand which was unnaturally laying flat on her palm: "It will take me ages to clean and re-build this place! I can't leave an ill person in these conditions and I certainly cannot mend this place by myself, having to take care of a man and an infant! Help me, please! This is the last help I'll ever want from you!"

The wand gave a flash of golden light and the cottage suddenly stood as new. The formerly-holey roof was flawless and shiny, the windows were filled with glass and were smiling at Sinéad from the walls which were suddenly clean and fixed, and Sinéad could admire at last the log cabin at its highest beauty. When she entered, the inside was completely changed too. There was an overwhelming smell of fresh wood and not a trace of any dust whatsoever. In the first "living" room, there was a fireplace, two chairs and a table, and a bed freshly changed. The same beautiful bed was in the next smaller room as well where there was an old-fashioned big wardrobe. Sinéad gasped with astonishment when she herself rose into the air and her ragged torn ex-ball gown was changed for a nice and clean farmgirl's dress with apron, working gloves and boots that looked they could endure everything. Her long hair was tied into a plaited tail laying on her back and she was cleaned from all bloodstains she brought from the Battle of Hogwarts.

"Thank you!" She squeaked and hugged the wand tight. How foolish I must look, she thought, but there's no one to help me. I must do everything by myself. She washed the patient's body carefully from blood, leaving the neck as the only place unattended. When I have time, I'll go through all the years, through all the books of Potion-making, there will surely be a recipe for a simple disinfectant I could use, she thought. But not now, she thought as she was dressing her unconscious husband into a clean nightgown and into the smaller room which she planned to use as a sickroom for him. She prayed for his safety and together with him, she put all the Potion-making equipment into the sickroom. For the time being. Then she mounted the bike and rode off into the dawning sky.

Finn was a tiny baby with curly ginger hair as soft as a cloud. He had huge blue eyes which in color and in size resembled the ones of his mother. But those eyes were tight shut, the baby was asleep at that moment. Guarding him was a very old woman of their tribe, who stayed behind with all the other old people. The warriors had not yet returned.

"Be safe, the flower of our tribe, be safe!" The woman told her as she stroke her cheek with affection

"They decided to banish me, Roisín." Sinéad said and was suddenly swallowing tears.

"I know, darling, I know." The old woman nodded slowly, and seemed to know all the knowledge of the world. "They wanted to kill this baby just as he saw the sky of this world, and I had to employ all my powers to stop them. His mother was hiding him here ever since."

Sinéad came quickly to the cradle and took him into her arms, he woke up but didn't utter a cry and immediately clutched his little fingers to her hair and refused to let go.

"How could they–" Sinéad gasped and pressed passionately the little baby to her chest, "it's Méav's son, how could they be so cruel?!"

"They said it was an illegitimate bastard with no right to live," the old woman shook her head in disbelief, "I'm too old now to understand the decisions of the youngsters. "Take him away, sweetheart, anywhere's a better place for him than here."

"Oh, Finnie…" Sinéad said softly and caressed the baby as the most precious treasure she ever held in her arms. She fell in love with the boy at first sight. She determined to be as good mother for him as Meav could've ever been. She took a long shawl and with few skillful moves she tied the baby erect to her bosom so that she carried him like a kangaroo mother. She also took some pottery, her spinning wheel, her dagger and bow with arrows, her weaving loom and all the equipment the baby had, a cauldron, some meal-preparing equipment, and some extra blankets and items of clothing. It was quite a heavy load but since she had taken the seat out from the side car it was big enough to carry all that.

"Fare ye well, good woman, and ye too, little babe." The old woman smiled and hugged them cordially. "I wish ye all good in your lives."

"You too, Roisín." Sinéad said and hugged her back with tears in her eyes and heavy heart.

It turned out that Finn didn't mind flying at all. He was a very good child, he never uttered a moan, or a cry. He was just looking around with a stream of Sinéad's hair clutched in his tiny fist. When she landed and opened the door of the cottage, she found Severus in the very exact way as she left him, comfortably laid on bed in the sickroom. The fire was slowly dying out. She approached him with hesitation and firstly checked whether he was still asleep before she dared to speak to him. He was.

"Severus…" She whispered, hugging the baby with affection, "from now on there's the three of us in the family!" She said with a smile and carefully stroked Finn's little fluffy head. Finn blew a bubble from his saliva and seemed to like his new home. The sun was already quite high in the sky when Sinéad finally got to bed. She didn't have any cradle for the infant, so she just placed him beside her and hoped she wouldn't roll over him in her sleep.

She woke up when it was already past lunch. In fact, Finn woke her up because he was crying. At first she didn't know where she was, or whose was the baby. Was it hers? In a second she realised what happened and felt ashamed of herself. How could it be mine, she said to herself bitterly, how on earth could it be mine.

She took the baby into her arms and sat on the bed: "Oh, Finnie, hush boy, don't cry, your poor father is resting and we shouldn't wake him up, hush, shhh…" Finn liked the deep, caramel-like voice of his new stepmother so after a few seconds he ceased crying and looked at her with his huge blue eyes.

"That's it! That's a boy!" She chuckled softly and swung the infant in her arms a bit longer. With horror, she realised there was no food. She'd have to take Finn with her to go fruit-picking. Damn it, she thought. How comfortable she had gotten over the past few years, sitting on her little bottom in the castle full of food and coziness! Even when she was travelling alone, she didn't worry about food as much as she did now when she had two extra hungry stomachs to feed. She sighed, put on Finn from the front side and her bow on her back and went out.

A few hours later she returned from the forest with an apronful of fruit, followed by a she-goat treading happily behind. It was quite a long story to tell but in short, the goat was threatened by a wolf and Sinéad drove it off, later she found that the goat was actually heavy with young. Which meant there was a goat milk for little Finn. She tied the goat outside, promising to her that she would build her a nice paling to live in, brought Finn inside and got ready to milk the goat. Hopefully I haven't forgotten how to do it, she thought. A few seconds after she went back outside, a baby's cry was heard in the cottage.

"Finn, for God's sake, can't you be alone?!" She cried aloud and went back inside, tying the baby to her chest again with the shawl and went on milking the goat into a bucket. I sound like his mother! She realised with horror. I sound so much like his mother without intending to… I must be mild with him, poor orphan boy, she thought as she was looking at Finn again and stroking his little head, I must be kind and nice and forgiving, because he has no parents and he's so sweetly unaware of this fact. I must be nice and I cannot yell at him, she promised to herself, I'm the only family he's got. A bit like Harry Potter he is, she realised suddenly, raised by his aunt and uncle. I will see to our Finn having a happy life, she swore, I'll see to it!

When Finn was happy and satisfied, being fed with the goat's milk, Sinéad put him into her bed and made sure his diaper was on the right place. She then hurried to see her husband, if he was okay. He was still asleep. Having stored the fruit carefully from the reach of the curious goat who was peeping into the household from outside the open door. She decided she needed some more stuff for Finn and for Severus' injuries. She mounted her motorbike, realised shamefully that she looked and smelled as a poor farmer and drove off to a nearest city to go shopping.

She returned with a few boxes of first infant milk, diapers, a dummy, some more clothes for Finn, some meat, vegetables and spices, some disinfectant, bandages, vitamins, medicine. She didn't even dream of anything for her own pleasure. She realised with a big shock that her husband didn't drink anything since the last night's horror. She had a jugful of goat milk and she rushed to him to give him something to drink. She entered the room with the jug in her hand and approached him slowly. She put her cold palm onto his forehead to see if he was well. He moved slightly and slowly opened his black tired eyes. This was the first moment since his death he was awake and looking at her. However, he seemed unable to say anything. Perhaps because of the throat.

"Everything's alright. It's me." She said reassuringly and smiled. She sat ligtly at the edge of the bed and put a small pottery cup to his lips.

"Drink. It's a goat milk."

His face crooked. Goat milk is not the most pleasant taste of all, after all.

"Drink, it'll make you stronger."

With his eyes shut in protest, he obediently drank the cup.

"Good. Do you want something little to eat?"

He looked away.

"No? I'll come again later then. I'll let you rest." She smiled and holding his hand, she gently squeezed it. He smiled and gave her a feeble squeeze back. A baby's cry was heard from the other room.

"By Jove, he just cannot be alone!" Exclaimed Sinéad and got to her feet, taking the jug into her hands and smiling at him: "I'll come back in a while."

There was so much he wanted to ask her. Why he wasn't dead, where they were, whose the baby was… Could it be hers? It could. He hadn't seen her long enough for it to be true. The thoughts made him upset and sick. The sun was just going down. He was going to sleep for a bit more…

Sinéad, in the meanwhile, sat near the fire and opened the Potions book for the first years. When eleven year-old kids can make this, she thought, I can too! It contained an itinerary of Potion-making ingredients, some of them were herbs, but some were substances unknown to her. She wondered where on earth was she going to get those. In Severus' box? In the Diagon Alley? What would happen to her if she showed up in the wizarding world? She didn't know. She wasn't even sure if she could use the ingredients his box contained, she had been warned the box consisted of all the necessary ingredients a Potions master needed to survive on in any dangerous occassion. But this is a dangerous occassion, she thought, if I won't make any blood-replacing potion for him, he'll die. There must be some reason why the books are structured in this way, she thought. But I haven't the time nor space to learn step by step, I don't even need this all. I just need the blood potion. She spent two hours just going through all the books searching for it, she fed Finn again in the meantime. Then she mashed a few forest-fruit together and brought it to Severus.

"You should eat something. This isn't much, but I couldn't obtain any more." She said in a sad voice. Spoon by spoon, she was feeding him carefully like a small child. Finn was luckily asleep at this time, so he couldn't interrupt them with his cry. She gave him the goat milk again to drink. He smiled again and she said:

"I will now tend to your injury, if you let me? I won't touch the wound, I promise. Just the skin around."

His lips moved, he wanted to tell her something, but couldn't. For the first time since the battle she removed the strip of her formerly-worn ball gown which she had tied round his neck to stop the bleeding. She had to bend very very close to it, the dried blood glued the fabric onto the wound. He grasped her hand and obviously tried to tell her to stop. She slipped her hand out from his grasp and yelled:

"I must change your dressings! This isn't even an appropriate dressing you have, it's just scrap from my dress!"

She went to the next room and made a mixture of salt and water, soaking a towel in it and putting the towel onto his throat gently.

"This will cause the scab to soften slightly…"

But for him, it was a terrible suffering. Of course, the salted water itched like hell.

She then sat even closer and breathed at his neck, removing carefully milimetre by milimetre of bandage. When the fight was over she cleaned the surroundings of the wound with the disinfectant because she promised him not to reach the wound. It still looked terrible, the only thing that kept Méav from healing it completely was the venom of the snake. She didn't have that much power and energy to heal both poisoned body, the cut and the venom in the wound. Sinéad brought the potion books from the other room and sitting back next to him, she said:

"Look, I had a stupid idea. If I were your pupil and said it in class you'd probably give me a detention."

"What is it?" There was his voice sounding in her head. He gathered all his powers to communicate with her via Legillimency.

"Your wound is still soaked up with venom, that's why it wouldn't heal. And I skimmed through all these books and looked at all the things that had something to do with blood and poisoning. I found a reference to something called bezoar–"

"They'll protect you from the majority of poisons, and?"

"And," she smiled at his impatience, "what if I dissolved a bezoar in water and gave you compresses on your neck?"

"Well, usually I would put you in detention for that," he said in her head, the corners of his mouth twitching, "but since I can't move and you're the one to heal me I'll raise no objections."

"Okay." She laughed and was about to get up, when his hand held her. He clumsily stroke her cheek, he wasn't yet deft enough to do it properly.

"You're so brave… So beautiful… How did you save me?"

"That's a long story." She smiled shyly and stroke his cheek in return.

"And whose is the baby? Is… Is it yours?"

"You well know it isn't." She gave a slight wry frown, "it's my sister's. We have to take care for him."

"Why, how? For how long?"

"Enough questions," she smiled and pulled the duvet back over him completely up to his chin. But somewhere deep inside, she felt deeply touched by the question about her sister.

"I'll tell you everything when you get better." She smiled for the last time and left him in the darkness of the room to sleep.

"…and then she fell dead on the floor of the Shrieking Shack and you began breathing. I had to take Finn just as I promised, Severus, I had to!" She was almost shouting the last words of the tale she was just narrating. "They would've killed him as soon as they would get back!"

Her husband was much better, a fortnight had passed since he first opened his eyes. He was sitting erect on the bed and could talk and eat by himself. However, most of the time he was resting flat in the bed. His head still reeled when he sat for a long time.

"What exactly… did she wish us… to do?"

"To be his parents and to raise him well." She put Finn who was happily clutching a stream of her ginger hair in his tiny infant fist near her husband. He lowered his eyes and looked at the baby, whom, at the moment of catching Severus cold glance, began to cry. Sinéad took him to her bosom again and she said he hadn't been crying the whole time. She was almost sure Severus didn't believe her.

"He shall… never be… my son." He whispered slowly.

Sinéad had almost gotten tears into her eyes, but remained herself that Severus had some very tough days after him and he wasn't thinking wisely. She attempted to have a cheerful voice: "Well, you never know! I'm sure you will like him, he will be a good boy." Little Finn got easily appeased by being in the arms of his fostermother again, and started making bubbles happily from his saliva.

"I sleep in the other room so you can't be waken up by his cry," Sinéad smiled and took Finn to the kitchen where she slept with the baby on the other bed. He refused even Sinéad's suggestion that they could return to his old house, partly because too many people knew it belonged to him and could possibly seek him there. It also bore a lot of unhappy memories, too. Sinéad then agreed to be the mediator of the business of selling it, for Severus refused to be dealing with muggles. They couldn't sell it to any wizards, in fact, they had to pretend their family wasn't existing anymore. They knew that due to what had happened, Severus could never walk a street in peace. Their lives changed rapidly. From a comfortable life in the castle into a cottage in the forests where there wasn't much to use. She tried her idea of putting an infusion of bezoar on his wound and it miraculously helped ("Here you can see that you cannot criticise your students' attempts to make something new!"). She eventually managed to prepare a blood supplement potion correctly and could help her husband even more. Although he could barely speak, he advised her what to do as a next step to achieve maximum results. He watched her nervously as she was making the potions, a single fault could have fatal results. She had never made any potions before. She tried as best as she could. Sometimes, Finn started crying in the middle of making the potion and Severus warned her not to go to the child or the potion would be wasted. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she had to let the little boy cry until the potion was finished. It is perhaps useful to note that Severus didn't have much remained from his usual bad temper, now he was calm and reconciled. He obediently drank everything which Sinéad prepared, although she was a newbie in terms of potions and he would never drink anything she made should he find himself in a better condition. But this, too, made him learn. Learn to rely on his wife with his life, as she had done several times with hers already. He learnt not to question his wife's actions, for she told him she acted the best way she could. Perhaps, in these miserable times of their married life they laid a headstone to their happy and calm life which came to them after several years of misery and lasted until their deaths. A few times a day she needed to go to the forest to hunt an animal or pick some plants or fruits for them to eat, in these moments she confided Finn to Severus' observant eye, hoping her husband could find in himself enough will to look after the foundling's well being. Severus did not protest, he knew his wife loved her nephew very much. He perhaps thought this babysitting could prove his ability to be a good father to their own children, although at the earliest stages of their solitary life in the forests, he was far from being capable of becoming a father himself. So he took this habit as an opportunity to practice, for he thought that with the baby that wasn't his own, there was no harm to be done even if he wasn't good at it.

At the first such occasion, he just stared at the baby who was watching him with its large blue eyes. After a while, he said, not knowing what else to do: "We haven't yet the pleasure to meet each other properly, have we? I am Severus Snape, the Potions Master at Hogwarts."

The baby looked at him gravely and took one of his fingers into its little palm.

"You don't know what Hogwarts is, do you?"

Staring.

"And you don't know what Potions Master is either, do you?"

Staring and chuckling.

"You don't know what I'm saying at all, do you?"

Chuckling.

"You think it's funny?"

"Aaaaaawghah!"

"What am I supposed to tell you anyway?"

"Eeeeh! Bah!"

Severus smiled. Obviously, he made the little boy laugh. A warm feeling was spreading inside his chest. Maybe he won't be a bad son, after all…

"You want to hear something?" Severus smirked and bent to the boy to be closer to him.

"Eeeeeh!" Squaled the boy and waved his arms in excitement.

"Your Momma is such a lulu!"

"Lulu!" Cried the boy and chuckled.

"Good boy," Severus smiled and held the boy in his arms. He liked him after all. When Sinéad came home, the boy cried: "LULU!" Sinéad quickly turned around and stared at them, stunned. Severus smirked, still holding Finn in his arms: "I have to say he's very clever for his age – one year old he is?"

"You taught him that?!" She cried, laughing. She loved to see her husband and her nephew together like that.

"Well I can't say I didn't." Severus smirked, looking tenderly at the baby in his arms.

"Every normal husband would teach his son something like Mama or Dada. No. My husband teaches him to flirt with girls just after he's born." Sinéad couldn't stop laughing and with her eyes full of love, looked at the two dearest men in her life. Little Finn loved his aunt laugh like that. He clung to his fosterfather and laughed too. Severus held him, smiling, then after a while he laughed too. All of them were laughing. A few babysitting sessions like this one were enough for Severus to start loving his fosterchild. Little Finn grew and grew. When he was a little bit older, he attempted to tell another words. Sinéad thus had a very grave conversation with Severus one evening, when candles were illuminating their shabby room dimly.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"How do you want Finn to call you?"

He looked at her with a great seriousness in his eyes. He was examining her features carefully. He looked into the fire.

"You see, we have to decide if we teach him to call us Mother and Father or not. And whether shall we tell him at all." Sinéad added.

"I would… For the time being… Let him have his version." Said Severus after some time of thinking. "He doesn't deserve to have his dream shattered. He doesn't deserve to be alienated. These are just names, just words, he can call me Dad or Father if he likes. However," he looked at Sinéad again, "I would… Tell him. If you and I have another children, we shall hope at least for any of them possesses magical abilities, which are almost certainly out of the question at his case." He looked at the sleeping baby. "If your sister hasn't accidentally bumped into a wizard of course. Who is his father anyway?"

"I don't know, Méav didn't tell me."

"And the people of your tribe?"

"They didn't want to know. They wanted to kill him and banished him. And me also." The matter was a few months old now, but Sinéad suddenly realised she hadn't told Severus until now. He stared at her, his gaze now more penetrating than ever.

"They… You?" He was confused. "But you were their Queen!"

"I'm not a Queen anymore." Sinéad tried to look anywhere but at her husband. He could see her profile in front of the fire. Suddenly he realised how old she was. How worn out. How many wrinkles she had. She looked a bit like Minerva now. But she was looking wiser than at any time before.

"Everything will be alright," he said.

Finn grew older and older. As soon as his father was feeling alright again, they moved from these miserable conditions. They found a nice house at the eastern coast of Northern Ireland. They sold Severus' old house and were therefore wealthy enough. However, due to her torture and bad treatment, Sinéad was unable to conceive. Severus was very understanding, and searched a long time for a potion that could help his wife. He was experimenting with substances, he was trying day and night. When Finn was three years old, he finally found the solution and in a year's time, his wife gave birth to a beautiful daughter named Bríd. Bríd came to the human world with screams so loud that Finn had to run outside the house, she had wild black curly hair and brave green eyes, sharp like the ones of Severus.

"She resembles her aunt Eiméar a lot," smiled her mother before falling asleep after many hours of hard labour. Severus called the boy in to welcome his new sister. Finn sniffed the newborn baby's head and said: "She cries and smells weird. Sniff her, Daddy."

It was true, Severus found out that the new-borns smell so strangely.

When Finn was eight years old, his second sister came, Eileen. It was Severus' turn to name their child this time, the name belonged to his mother. Eileen was a lot different from her sister. When she first saw her mother, she didn't cry. At all. She just stared with her huge black eyes. Severus held her, grinned at Sinéad who was nearly fainting with exhaustion, and said: "I like this one. She doesn't trouble me."

The hero of this tale, Finn, has changed much. He wasn't a baby anymore, he was a little boy of a great height and he was very, very thin. His mother always told him he didn't eat enough. He was very fond of his mother, she was always kind to him, scarcely yelled at him and would always talk to him with her sticky, warm, sweet voice. He liked his father also, in a way, but he wasn't sure if his father liked him too. Probably not. He always wanted to find out about everything, he was a very curious child. However, his temper was very quiet. Most of the time, he just smiled with a smirk-like smile and nodded. He was very kind to all living creatures and since he had been able to stand, he had been helping all the animals from insects to frogs to puppies to live their lives peacefully. He couldn't understand why his father was chopping those lovely worms with a knife for his potions, Finn always begged him not to. Finn always begged him to allow him as many animals as possible, but his father said no to any of them. There was one more curious thing about this red-haired boy, he was never ill. Never. He could fall from a roof as he once did and he was absolutely untouched. This was perhaps one of Méav's secret gifts. He ran around a lot, he jumped from high rocks and climbed the trees. He swam in the sea and he was taking strolls to the forest a lot. He was a happy boy.

When Finn had his eleventh birthday sometime in spring, his mother and father came to his little room upstairs in their spacious house full of light, wanting a little chat. What is it Mum, he would ask with his usual smirk-like smile, but immediately saw that his mother's eyes were glittering with tears and for the first time in his short life, he became very serious and his smile vanished, just sitting on his bed and staring at his mother who sat opposite to him on his chair.

"Oh Finnie!" Weeped his mum and buried her face into her hands. She always called him Finnie. She called him Finn only when he had done something wrong. Like falling from the roof or jumping from the cliff to the cold sea in the middle of February. His father never did. His father hated euphemisms.

"Finn, your mother came to tell you something." Declared his father with a strangely dry throat.

"Finnie, you noticed that we've started to talk about Hogwarts a lot, did you? When your younger sister is seven and had done some accidental magic."

"Sure, the place where father learned his magic and potions, is it?" He asked calmly, leaning comfortably onto the wall behind him. In every occassion, Finn Snape never lost his desire to be comfortable.

"Exactly," his mother sobbed and wiped her eye, "that's the point. I didn't. You know that I don't have a wand, Finnie."

"But Mum," he touched her shoulder, "you can talk to spirits and can do magic with nature and weather, in fact, I'm not really sure whom of you two is more–"

"That's not the point of this debate, Finn." Said his father. "You remember us mentioning your Aunt Méav?"

"Sure thing," Finn said with a smile, "she died years ago, didn't she?"

"Yes she did." She said, wiping her eyes again. "You see, Finnie, your aunt was from my side of the family, she was my sister. The magic that I do is not enough for Hogwarts, you see. It is fine as a side subject, but not enough to have you accepted. And Aunt Méav had even less magic that I have. She had a different kind of magic in fact. We've told you that the poeple of my tribe were just ordinary poeple living very, very wildly."

Severus thought that the boy looked a little bit puzzled by all the things his mother was telling him, so he intervened: "The thing is that, ehm, Finn… The night the Second Wizarding War ended, I was murdered."

Finn's eyes were popped out.

"It is unnecessary to say by whom, how or why," continued Severus, looking at his son with his dark cold eyes, "but what happened is that your aunt resurrected me back to life."

"Resurrected? How?" Finn got excited again. This was again something he could learn. He loved learning, but not in the way Hermione Granger (now Weasley) did. He believed in practical approach, trying things with your hands and finding out ways to succeed.

"Your aunt gave her life for the life of my husband." Sinéad smiled and touched his hand gently. He squeezed hers, looking at Finn. "And… She asked me to take care for you. The truth is, Finnie, that your true mother was Méav, not me."

The boy looked stunned.

"I'm so sorry Finnie!" His mother broke into tears again. "I promised your aunt to take care of ye as if ye were my own son, and judge yerself, do Ellie and Biddy have something you wouldn't have?"

"Why are you telling me now?" The boy asked, his voice trembling.

"Because, eh…" Sinéad began, but didn't know how to continue.

"We started telling Bríd about Hogwarts because she'll go there when she's eleven," Severus said calmly, "but I have serious doubts about you, Finn. Your true mother didn't have any magical abilities, so technically, you're not a wizard."

"And my true father? Who was he?" Finn was anxious to know.

"We don't know, Finnie, dear." Sinéad said. "Méav didn't tell me before she died."

"But the others from the tribe, wouldn't they know? Wasn't he one of them?"

"No, actually. That is the reason why your mother was banished and why I was banished, too. She fell in love with a Pork-head."

"A Pork-head?"

"Ordinary person who doesn't– who didn't value the nature as much as we did."

"So he wasn't from the community then?"

"No."

"You truly… don't have any idea about whom he was?" Finn looked sadly at Sinéad. "Isn't it that you just don't want to tell me? Please, tell me everything now!"

"No, Finnie, believe me, if I knew, I would've told you." Sinéad swore. Severus' grip of her hand tightened.

"Finn, trust your mother– your aunt. If she says there's nothing more, there isn't." Said Severus coldly.

The boy looked sadly from the window. It started raining. He felt betrayed, abandoned, he felt like an orphan even though both of the people who raised him were safe and sound. He curled up on his bed and one tear fell from his chin. Sinéad sat on the bed next to him and hugged him tenderly.

"Oh Finnie! My boy, don't be sad!"

"How can I be happy? I just learnt I've got no family!"

Surprisingly, Sinéad smiled and squeezed his shoulder: "I'll tell you a secret, okay?"

"Okay."

"Your family is not always the people that gave birth to you. It's the people you consider as your family. And I consider you as my son, Finnie, and Dad does so too. You've always been our son."

"Really?" He said weepily, curling up to her arms and she hugged him even tighter.

"Really."

Severus smiled and left the room. He had always admired his wife for how kind she was. But he wasn't good with those tender meek moments.

"And do you wanna hear another secret?" Sinéad saw that Severus had left and was now whispering to Finn.

"Yup?"

"But don't tell Dad I told you."

"No problem Mum."

"Perhaps a year before you were born, I had been pregnant with a baby boy. And you know what? I was attacked and the boy inside me was killed. So I really cherish you being my son, Finnie. You're the son I was supposed to have. It's you, darling. It was always you."

Finn was sitting on his bed, reading a comic book, but was absolutely missing the meaning of the words. All he hoped for, that he would go to Hogwarts before Bríd, it was all gone. He had no future before him. He didn't know what his parents would do with a useless boy like him. Will they put him to a muggle school? Don't call them muggles, he said to himself bitterly, you'll be one of them soon. There was a slight knock on the door. He quickly folded his book and turned his ocean blue eyes to the door. It opened and his father stood on the doorway. He suddenly seemed strangely old to Finn. He had a lot of wrinkles, around his eyes, on his forehead, and around his nose and mouth. He was always carefully shaven smooth on his chin and his hair was slowly starting to get those silver fibres he had seen in the park on grandmas and grandpas babysitting their grandchildren. There were times when Finn feared his father, yes, he would fear him awfully, the cold looks of his and his thin lips pressed into a very narrow line and he was sometimes even frowning. He walked straight and was dressed all in tight black clothes. But this time, his scared blue eyes met those old black ones and he could find something like softness and affection in them. Wasn't it strange?

"Can I sit down, my boy?" Asked his father calmly and Finn quickly nodded and slid his two thin legs from the bed to the ground. His father sat beside him on his bed and propping himself on his elbows laying on his knees, he looked like a giant hunched vulture, with this hooked nose and the somewhat greasy hair of his…

"What are you reading?" His father asked and threw a look onto the cover of the comic book.

"Nothing." Said he and turned red, ashamed. "Just some muggle stuff. We were in town one day with Mum and I asked if I could have it. But it's pretty boring really. Nothing compared to our world." He turned even pinker and corrected himself: "Your world, I wanted to say, your world."

"Oh boy," Severus smiled, sat closer and pulled his son closer so that he was gently stroking his shoulder, "did you really think your Mum and I would leave you here and go to Hogwarts with your sisters?"

It was it, it was precisely it what Finn was fearing the most! It was too much! The boy started crying. For the first time since he was a baby, he started crying, clutching to his father's dark blue coat.

"Dad!" He squealed and sobbed, curling up like a stray cat, "don't leave me here! I don't know what I should do!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" His father growled, but forced himself to remain calm and reassuring, "I came to give you an idea what we could do."

"Really?" There was a tiny voice from somewhere under Severus' elbow and two giant water-filled eyes surveyed him questioningly.

"Sure." His father smiled and stroked him slightly, "sit up."

Finn obeyed and started to feel some hope again in his veins.

"There's a hospital ward in the school that helps ill students and teachers. It's not as professional as the hospital you know, but in most instances it's just what anyone needs." His father looked at him with great curiosity. "I've been thinking about you a good deal, Finn… You're an interesting boy, truly interesting… Your mother says you have never been ill… Do you know why?"

"No, Dad." He said, looking at the grave solemn big man with a mixture of affection and caution. "I just don't feel ill."

"Peculiar…" His father mumbled, lifting Finn's chin with his long cold index finger to look him better in his blue eyes. "Peculiar."

"What is peculiar, Dad? And why are you looking at me so strangely?"

"I have an idea…" Mumbled his father and continued looking at him with his cold black eyes. "I was thinking that there could be more in you than we think… That you could… perhaps… work in the hospital with Madame Pomfrey…"

"Could I?! Really?!" The boy yelled and jumped at his bed with excitement. He felt so happy! "Yes father," he cried, "I'll work there, and glad!"

"Not so quick." His father said sharply and for Finn it was like a cold shower on a hot summer day. "I'll need to check something."

"What do you want to-" Finn began, but couldn't finish the sentence and gasped. His father flicked his wand and just as he swished it a cut appeared at Finn's arm. It was itchy and small trickles of blood started sliding sideways.

"Ow, Dad! That hurts!" He yelled again, but Severus grasped his arm and pulled it closer to his face to be able to see better. Just in front of his own eyes, the wound started to glow and it healed itself up completely in less than a minute.

"Yeah, my body does this all the time, does it matter?" Asked Finn, looking at his father, puzzled. "What's the big deal?"

"We've finally found what's best in you, Finn." His father smiled and stroked the boy's head again, "we've finally found what you can do better than anyone else."

And so Finn started to work in the hospital wing. He was brought to Hogwarts by his Mum and Dad, Bríd and Eileen went too, although too small to be left there as Finn was supposed to be. The Headmistress of Hogwarts greeted them very warmly and accepted not only Finn as an assistant to Madame Pomfrey (who was considerably old now and feared she would leave the place without anyone to share her knowledge with), but also his father, having talked with Harry Potter first, offering his father his old place as a Potions Master and the Head of the Slytherin House. (To find out what exactly happened in the wizarding world after the war, read the other two chapters about the other two Snape children.) Mum was also offered her old job, but she said she had to wait at home until at least Bríd goes to the school. Then she said she could take Eileen with her and she could be the Mythology teacher again. Finn was so happy! And his Mum and Dad were happy too, because it meant they would have some money again, Finn guessed. And Mum was even offered to be the Head of the Hufflepuff house. Strange word, Hufflepuff. Finn said to himself that he would have to learn all those new names, in order not to be made fun of by the other children. But before he went, Madame Pomfrey wished to see him. He stood in front of her in his best clothes and tried to look really clever so that she would want him. But she laughed and stroked his hair and called him good boy and clever boy and all sorts of things, and then father told her about all the things Finn had done at home, how he was jumping from the roof and how he was never ill and Finn wanted to tell him to stop, not to tell Madame all these bad stories about him so she would never want to have him. But Madame laughed and raised her eyebrows and said: "Peculiar!" as father did so Finn started to believe that peculiar was another weird word of Hogwarts but she didn't seem angry with him at all so he concluded everything was fine. And then she asked him what did he know about human body and he said that not much, that we have ten toes and ten fingers and two arms and two legs and a head and if we are hurt, our skin bleeds, but it doesn't have to bleed and you can still be hurt, that this precisely happened to him when he jumped from that roof. And she laughed very much and she told him fine, fine, you need to show me how clever you are Finn, she told him, you have to read this book and then in August you have to come here again and I'll ask you questions from that book and you need to answer me correctly, OK? And he smiled that weird smile of his and told her, OK Ma'm, no problem, I love learning. And she stroke his hair again and told him, right boy, excellent. And so Finn reckoned she would have him if he read the book and answered the questions so he carried the book everywhere with him and read as much as he could from it, and asked father if he could take notes from the book, and if he could copy the pictures, and his father confirmed, so Finn took the notes and the pictures. And he would try all the dangerous things from the book on himself because his body would recover itself in no time as always so he wasn't afraid to try them. And when August came and he saw Madame Pomfrey again, she was asking him those questions and he would answer, and sometimes he would say what occurred to him when he tried those things, and she gasped and asked him if he tried them all, and he laughed and said, no, Ma'm, only the easy ones, and he would give her his own experiences what worked for him and what didn't. And Madame Pomfrey told his father and mother, I want Finn as my inferior assistant, he learns quickly and has quick judgement and good observation, and his father looked pleased and smiled, which he scarcely did, and his mum was crying with happiness, and then his father said that he would take Finn with him the week after when he was leaving for Hogwarts but he told him, Finn, he said, you'll travel with me from home, but here, he said, I'm no friend of yours. He said, you can greet me on the corridors, but not too loud, you can come to me after the classes and have a chat, or if you have a problem you can always come whenever you like, but he told him with a groan, I must be a Professor for you as I am for anyone else, you don't want the other kids to laugh at you, do you? And he said, no Dad, I don't, I'll do as you say. And his father said, good, well done, you need to have your own place and your own friends, not to be Professor Snape's boy for the rest of your life, can you? And Finn nodded and said, sure Dad, he said, I can't, yes, Dad, I shall.

These were his memories on the day when he was accepted as a Healing Assistant to Poppy Pomfrey. In the first months he wasn't of a big help really, he was just running from one place to another, bringing flasks, ointments and dressings, or going to the schoolkeeper with a request, but at the end of each day, Madame Pomfrey would sit with him in his little closet that he had as his room, and would ask him about the day, what had happened, what had they done. And he would go through all the cases aloud again, and he would recall all the procedures and all the ointments and all the treatment, and Madame Pomfrey always praised him, and told him she was very satisfied with him. And everywhere Madame Pomfrey went, Finn went too, and the schoolkeeper's cat respected him as it respected Madame Pomfrey, and the schoolkeeper would tolerate him all right, but he didn't like him otherwise, because he always said there had been enough kids in the castle even before Finn came. But Madame Pomfrey would shoo him, the schoolkeeper, and told Finn not to take anything out of it, that the schoolkeeper had always been a grumpy old buffer. And Finn would smile his crooked smile and tread happily after his mistress. He would sometimes visit his father, who would always ask about Finn's success with Madame Pomfrey, and Finn would always tell him that she was pleased, and his father always seemed to be pleased as well to hear this. But as time went by, he would visit his father less and less and would study books more and more. And before he could notice, Bríd was in the castle as well and Mum and Eileen came too, Eileen being babysitted throughout the day and not being allowed amongst the students. Finn began to have his first big cases for himself, although Madame Pomfrey would always breathe on his neck from behind, and before he could tell the difference, Eileen was in her first year as well and Finn was suddenly leading almost all the hospital wing's procedures and Madame Pomfrey would sit in her armchair and read Daily Prophet and she would now and then threw a piece of advice like how to attach the dressings better or which cases to solve and which to send away (Finn tended to help any desperate girl who would appear in the doorway claiming to be dying from broken heart) and he was suddenly too long for his bed and Madame Pomfrey would one day allow him to call her Poppy and he realised with great terror that he was suddenly nineteen years old.

There wasn't much difference between his nineteen years old self and his little self really. He was very tall, 7 feet tall, that was something, and he had ocean blue eyes as he always had and spiky red hair and thin long face and thin wide lips. His arms and legs were always thin and he wore a white shirt and trousers most of the time, the sleeves being tucked short to enable greater movement. A black collar was peeping from the Healer's uniform at his neck, showing that he wore a black shirt underneath. He was always shaven soft and clean, and he smelt like mint and good food. He ate a lot, although he didn't seem to. Poppy Pomfrey died when he was twenty six years old and the ward was transformed under his control in the same year, 2024. He always treated anyone with the same smile and kindness and he was much of a help for little Albus Potter in his first months in the school. He'd always tell him: "Yer a fine chap, Albee, ye'll manage!" He would always call him Albee, such a good guy he was! And when Albus was twelve and fell off a broomstick when he was training with James to be accepted into the Slytherin Quidditch team, and had to be transfered to St. Mungo's for multiple injuries, Finn held his hand the entire time and when Albus was weeping and sobbing and asking his old friend what would happen, Finn would just bend close and would tell him: "Yer a mighty fella, Albee." Albus knew that Finn would say this phrase when somebody had to undergo some difficult procedure, and was worried even more. But he was all right at the end. Two decades later his father suffered a heart-attack and when he was waiting for the St. Mungo Healers to take him away, lying on the white bed and holding his son's hand, Severus turned his sad eyes to Finn and asked: "What'll they do to me? Tell me, Finnie." And Finn could barely hold his tears because he knew he was seeing his father for the last time and told him: "Dad? Yer a mighty fella, you know." On that his father smiled and whispered: "Not as mighty as you, my boy."

Severus Snape died peacefully with his wife beside him that night, and he knew that Finn knew.

Finn Snape was also a lifelong friend of Teddy Lupin, and when he was marrying Victoire Weasley, Finn was his groomsman. He was also made a godfather of one of their children and spent a good deal of happiness both with the Weasley family and the Potter family. Finn Snape died childless but happy while smoking his favourite cigarette. He was ninety six years old when he passed away.


	28. Epilogue 2 – Bríd's tale

**28**

 **Epilogue II – Bríd's Tale**

"Severus, we must do it. Now that our children are still small." Said his wife, putting her palm onto his knee.

"I suppose we must." He said, staring at the floor in between his legs. "Send owl to the Potters."

"How lovely to see you, Professor!" Ginny cried and shook hands with the guests. Sinéad requited her hostess' smile and was ushered into a nice large house full of light. Her husband walked behind her like a ghost and pretended this visit wasn't concerning him at all.

"I must say we were quite shocked when we read your letter, Professor." Ginny said with a soft smile and by waving her hand, offered her guests a selection of afternoon tea and sandwiches.

"I guess so, I'm sorry, if your husband doesn't wish to deal with my husband I fully understand–"

"Nonsense!" Cried Harry enthusiastically from the doorway and walked in casually. Both Sinéad and Severus rose to shake hands with him, but Harry threw himself forward into a warm hug.

"It's good to see you, Headmaster." He said, his voice muffled. Severus felt almost ashamed by this sudden influx of emotions and thus only patted Potter on his back. Harry finally let go off Snape and sat on the couch next to his wife.

"So, what can we do for you?"

"Well, you see, Potter, it's quite delicate and awfully personal, I don't think I'll express myself clearly without any necessary embarrassment in my voice–"

"The point is," his wife interrupted him and looked at Harry, "we've got two small children now and we'll soon need to… go public with them, you see, going shopping or whatever, and we don't want anyone attacking their father with or without a wand for what he'd done–"

"They could get it wrong, you see." Added Snape and wiggled uncomfortably.

"Yeah, just for the children– I mean, thinking about the children–" His wife smiled apologetically.

"Yeah, naturally," Harry agreed with a smile, looking understandingly from Mr to Mrs Snape and back. His wife was nodding thoughtfully and was smiling as well. Suddenly, Harry's understanding smile vanished and he looked blankly at the couple: "And what do you need from me?"

"Some sort of public purification, you see… Just thinking of the children, of course, be it for myself I would have never–"

"Of course," Harry interrupted him and nodded, "anytime. Anytime!"

"And I mean, if Granger could also… As I understand she's now close to be elected a Minister for Magic… I mean, that would really help…"

"Yeah, she'd be delighted!" Harry said hurriedly. "She's not been thinking of anything else."

The awkwardness could be almost visible in the room.

"Thanks, I mean, thank you a lot, Potter– I mean, Harry–"

"Potter is fine, really," Harry gave a nervous laugh, "Potter's brilliant actually…"

"Isn't it Teddy Lupin?" Sinéad cried and pointed at a moving photograph standing on the shelf of the living room. There was a little boy, smiling, about five or four years of age, and his hair colour was constantly changing.

"Yeah, it is." Harry smiled proudly. "I'm his godfather."

"How nice!" Sinéad exclaimed, mainly to diffuse the tension. "What a lovely boy!"

"Yeah, lovely." Severus was agreeing with his wife, however, his feeble attempt seemed to him blank and embarrassing.

"And you have how many kids?" Asked Ginny, attempting to be polite and not knowing what else to say.

"Two actually," Sinéad beamed and pressed her husband's hand, "there's Finn, he's five, and then there's Bríd, she's a little devil, she's just been born–"

"Oh, the same as James Sirius!" Cried Ginny. The bond of motherhood was established. The husbands could only watch the two women coaxing and chattering about their newborn babies. The men looked awkwardly at one another. Then Severus stretched out his hand.

"Thank you Harry. For everything."

"Yeah– No, it's you. Thank you, Severus. The victory wouldn't have been without you."

The two men hugged one another again. And it wasn't awkward this time.

Bríd was the exact counterpart of her brother. She was fierce, passionate, impatient, hot-headed and self-important. Sinéad used to say quite often that Bríd was all the aspects of her husband's temper incarnated. Bríd had a very very thick shiny black curly hair and sharp green eyes. She was bossy and it was easy to offend her. Sinéad had quite a hard time during Bríd's early infancy because Bríd never seemed to obey her mother's orders. Bríd would run through the house, screaming, throwing down everything that was put into her way. However, she feared her father quite a lot when she was little, so that was a tool to use at least when Bríd was ill-mannered, however, Sinéad wasn't quite sure why did the child feared its father so much. Have you done something to her darling? Sinéad asked her husband several times, and he always responded negatively. Bríd was quite talented in terms of singing and dancing, she learned to play the piano very well. She was very artistic and very creative. When she was a child, both her parents considered it welcome that their daughter had something to amuse herself with, but what they didn't expect was that this fancy of Bríd's would last even up to her Hogwarts' attendance years. Bríd was a very clever student, but she was very cunning and she hated authority in general, so she could be very naughty sometimes and ended up in detention a lot. She immediately understood the purpose of the tasks the teachers were assigning and when she reckoned it to be too stupid, she didn't bother. She was a very fierce user of her ebony black wand which was thin and long, and all the other kids were avoiding any conflict with her because she would pierce them through with her gaze and curse them with any spells her cunning mind could remember. No wonder then she was put in Slytherin. There was some whispering spreading through the Great Hall the evening Bríd was sorted, because not only had her father already returned to his old Head of Slytherin House post some years ago (as well as to his Potions Master post), but also, her mother had joined him and became the Head of the Hufflepuff House. Everybody thus expected Bríd's bad behaviour to be excused and covered for by her parents, and Severus Snape was notorious for his partiality with Slytherin students, but none of this really happened. Bríd was treated just the same as the other school kids, and if anyone tried to raise any accusations, she would beat that person herself with her bare hands. She had to address her parents Professor just the same, and quite soon she created a court of admirers which she held for her entire career at Hogwarts. The truth was that Bríd was the school beauty, she was exceptionally pretty, and she knew it. One sweet smile was enough to beguile boys into doing her homework and all the other girls from her year cursed her name because no matter what they did, Bríd was always better. There was one boy who left his girlfriend just to fawn and flatter her, and that girl then made a scene out of it in front of the whole school. She called Bríd wicked and evil snake and maybe a floozie, I'm not sure now, and what Bríd did was so strong of her character that those boys who hadn't already been in love with her fell for her in that moment – Bríd mocked the girl, scoffed at her, laughed at her, totally derided the girl's whole reason. Yes, Bríd was certainly proud. Her lifelong rival was Rose Weasley. Those two were always on each other's back, trying to surpass one another. Once she saved Rose from being bullied by some ghastly seventh years by hexing the hell out of them and when she got a detention to wash up the Quidditch uniforms of all the school teams, Rose appeared and with her face pulled offered to help. And even Bríd knew better than to refuse help from her enemy. So they became friends, eventually, when Bríd was in the sixth year.

But what was the most peculiar about her was her wholly artistic personality. She loved singing, she loved dancing, she loved playing the piano. But what she loved most of all, what she loved awfully, was her ability to design clothes for herself and to bring them to perfection afterwards when she really made them. Bríd loved drawing sketches, and sewing, and decorating the fabric with fancy embroidery and beads. Her fame soon rose to unexpected heights and she was most frequently seen in the Slytherin Common Room, where she was adjusting the fit on one student or other. She was even rumoured to make some clothes for Teddy Lupin, and that they were snogging afterwards, but she never confirmed nor disproved the rumour. She was always dressed up the best, and she managed to recreate her Hogwarts uniform so well that she was actually officially asked by Minerva McGonnagall, the Headmistress, to design new school uniforms for everybody, and this was the last step to fame. Everybody talked about her then, entirely oblivious that she had an older brother, for the school it was just Bríd and Bríd only. She was strutting about the school like a peacock hen, always surrounded by her little court of girl mates and followed by one or two boys who were enchanted by her charms at that moment. Plainly speaking, Bríd's fame was comparable to Harry Potter's, and she was proud enough and vain enough to actually having enjoyed it. Her mother was proud of her, and was always enthusiastic about one new dress or other that Bríd had made, her father, on the other hand, was wry and sceptical. Once when he went for a stroll with his wife, he couldn't restrain himself from grumbling:

"She's lazy and arrogant. She doesn't do anything proper, just fooling around making costumes for everyone to laugh at. She's the clown of the school."

"Oh, come on, honey, she's popular, the students like her!" His wife tried to persuade him.

"Don't tell me you approve of such folly."

"Severus, dear, Bríd is talented and handy." His wife said.

"Is it too much that I wanted from her?" He cried bitterly, "I just wanted my daughter to be a good witch, to be exceeding all others in any subject she pleases to choose, is that too much?! Apparently, it is. For that bloody wench isn't good at anything."

"I sometimes wonder at your bitter tongue." His wife said sharply, stopped walking and looked at him coldly. "As far as I recall, all you wanted at first was to have any children at all, then you wanted her to exhibit any magical powers whatsoever so that we could send her to Hogwarts. Now that she is at Hogwarts you want something more. Why cannot you put up with whom she is?" Her husband was sullenly treading behind her. After few more minutes, he ejected: "What will become of her? Tell me, I'm listening! What will become of her?!"

"Why, she might be a singer. Or a dressmaker, she's already good enough!" His wife cried, but she couldn't be upset with her husband too long. She put her arm around his shoulders and smiled at him convincingly: "Just trust her, honey. Trust her. She's our Bríd, she won't be lost in the world."

"Mum? Can I bring my boyfriend for dinner?" Asked Bríd indifferently, having bewitched a pink nail polish so it was painting her nails by itself.

Sinéad smiled. She knew this question would come one day. And she was prepared to answer it: "Of course darling. What does he like to eat?"

"Pretty much anything really. He's not picky." Said Bríd, watching her father's parchment-coloured face going through white to green, and his fingers clutching the doorframe of Bríd's bedroom. Her mum was putting some freshly washed clothes into Bríd's chest of drawers and Eileen was curled up in her sister's armchair.

"Okey dokey then." Smiled Sinéad again and turned to go, but she bumped into her husband who was standing in the doorway like a stone and wasn't moving. He was just staring into the open space. Eventually, he mumbled: "Boyfriend? What boyfriend?"

"Mine, Dad." Bríd said and pulled a face. He stared at her in a deep disbelief ignoring his wife who was inconspicuously directing him out of the room.

"How– yours?! I won't let you have a boyfriend." Said Severus with a frown.

"Come on, dear, she's young, let her have some fun." Smiled Sinéad benevolently and pushed him out of the room even harder in order to avoid conflict.

"Who's he anyway?" Asked her husband, walking slowly off.

"The most popular boy in the school of course," smirked Eileen who watched the family scene with interest and smirked in disapproval of her sister's decision, "James Potter."

What followed were multiple simultaneous actions happening at the same time so dear reader must picture them with as most vivid images he can produce. Severus forcibly wrenched from his wife's arms and with a split-second movement he pulled his wand from his cloak. Bríd shrieked and braced her head in her arms, expecting her father's most powerful jinxes to be fired on her head. Eileen jerked and gasped, covering her mouth. Sinéad jumped in front of her husband to reduce the impact. There were multiple voices shouting:

"JAMES–"

"Severus stop shouting–"

"– BLOODY–"

"Oh Daaad, come _on_!"

"– POTTER–"

"Come, honey, leave the girls alone–"

"OF ALL THE BOYS–"

"No worries, dear, everything will be fine–"

"NO IT WON'T! Mum–"

"– YOU COULD CHOOSE–"

"Calm down, honey, it's just a boy–"

"How can I have a normal relationship with this madman of a father being constantly on my back?!"

"– YOU PICKED THE BIGGEST SMARTASS–"

"No worries dear, bring James out, we'll all be happy to know him–"

"How about Dad?!"

"– OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL–"

"No problem love, I'll talk him into it–"

"– I'LL NEVER HAVE JAMES POTTER–"

"– Or I'll lock him into the basement." Grinned Sinéad which was meant to be a reassuring smile and pushed her protesting husband out of the room, slamming the door behind them.

"– CROSS THE THRESHOLD OF THIS HOUSE!"

Once the door was shut the girls could hear their parents shouting at each other as they walked downstairs.

"JUST BECAUSE IT'S NOT JOE BLOGGS BUT JAMES POTTER–"

"I WON'T HAVE JAMES POTTER CONSTANTLY RUINING MY LIFE–"

"– IT IS YOU WHO ARE RUINING YOUR DAUGHTER'S HAPPINESS RIGHT NOW–"

"– SHE COULD CHOOSE JOE BLOGGS, I WOULDN'T OBJECT TO JOE BLOGGS–"

"– JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN PAST YOU KEEP BLAMING THE POTTERS–"

"– I'LL LEAVE HER AT THE MERCY OF JAMES POTTER OVER MY DEAD BODY!"

"– NO YOU KNOW YOU WOULD OBJECT TO JOE BLOGGS YOU HATE ALL STUDENTS YOU KNOW THAT!"

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is!"

"She might have whomever she chooses–"

"Well that's settled then!"

"– but that jerk James Potter!"

"You're NOT calling a jerk a boy you don't know!"

"He's lazy, arrogant – JUST LIKE HIS FATHER – and he received a D from Potions in the last school year!"

"You're NOT forbidding your daughter to date boys you don't approve of!"

"I'm her father, she's gonna do what she's to–"

"AND I WON'T HAVE YOU CONTROLLING YOUR DAUGHTER'S LIFE, YOU GET ME, YOU'RE GONNA SIT HERE, EAT YOUR DINNER AND PRETEND YOU LIKE HIM, AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?!"

A loud slamming of a pair of doors was heard.

"Hey Bids," Finn was leaning on the doorframe with his smirk-like smile on as if he were having a great fun of all this, "I've noticed you're having a lad around, but I must'ev misheard 'is name somehow…"

"Oh fuck off Finn." Bríd murmured, hid her face into her pillow and turned her back towards her brother, she wanted to forget all this and she wanted to imagine her new boyfriend not being greeted by complete psychopats.

"You too you little snitch!" Bríd cried, knowing her little sister was creeping around to apologise and be comforted by Bríd, expecting to hear that nothing happened and everything was fine. Bríd swished her wand with such force that the door of her room shut violently and Finn could barely save the fingers of his left hand from being smashed. Eileen gave a start and ran out of the lioness' cage as fast as she could; when she was outside she started to weep. She was only about to turn twelve at that time and she wanted to get on well with her big sis again.

"No worries," Finn smiled and squatted down to have his face on the same level as his younger sister, "I'll put some Draft of Peace into her butterbeer tonight–"

"No you're not! I'll tell Mum!" Bríd roared through her sobs from behind the shut door. Finn got back to his feet to his full height which was not less than seven feet already, smirked and winked, patting Eileen's hair and walking off like a giant pole. Eimear giggled and smiled, her inner peace was restored. Oh, how she loved her big brother!

Their mum and dad seemed a bit stiff at dinner, casting each other a lot of angry looks.

"Bríd is bringing her boyfriend next month." Sinéad said resolutely and just as Severus was taking a sharp breath and deciding to speak up in protest, his wife roared: "AND YOU'RE NOT SAYING A WORD AGAINST IT."

"It's gonna be okay Dad." Finn grinned from the opposite side of the big family table and smirked: "We can poison him together if he's ever a jerk to Bids."

Eileen burst out laughing and Bríd turned red and kicked her brother under the table.

"I'm reassured." Severus smirked at his eldest child and took another mouthful of the meal.

"Mum! They're not poisoning James!" Squaked Bríd, her face red with shame and anger.

"Of course not, Biddy, but if he's naughty to you, I will see to it myself that–"

"Why the hell must both my parents be teaching at Hogwarts?!" Howled Bríd and punched her forehead with her right palm in an exaggerated gesture. Bríd was always the little actress of the family. She was the most stylish one, the most trendy one. She couldn't understand why her father was dressing like a cemetery column and her mother in rags. She was always making some new clothes for herself, or redesigning the old ones, she always had her hair clean and shiny and the skin on her face was spotless. She had fierce eyes and thick lips, no wonder she was the celebrated beauty.

"Hey, Dad, looks like yer gonna be related to the Potters." Finn smirked and shoved a big pile of potatoes into his mouth. Finn just loved teasing people and making fun of them. He loved to laugh.

"Finn I warn you–" His mother gasped and pushed her purple-faced husband down into his chair.

"Yeah, mind your own business, pumpkin head!" Bríd snapped.

"You know, I'm just thinking about the crowd of uncles that your kids're gonna have." Finn continued with a smirk. He was just teasing the patience of his sister and his father, who were, after all, more similar than one would think. At least in being so hot-headed.

"Finnegan!" His mother cried and silenced her son immediately.

"Well, I was just… Looking forward to it I suppose." Finn said apologetically after a few minutes, cleared his throat and looked sheepishly at his dad and sister.

"Yeah, considering you are dating only whores!" Bríd struck for revenge.

"Hey! I have commitment issues." Finn protested, and suddenly looked guilty. "I'm not the family guy you see? Not for my family at least."

"Finn, darling, but think about your poor mother and father, don't you really want to give them any grandchildren to amuse themselves with when they're old?" His mother asked him with a conciliatory tone in her voice.

"Why, I thought that's Bríd's job. Especially now, more probable than ever!" He gave a hoot of laughing. Bríd's anger boiled over, she shouted an offence on accord of which her mother shrieked: "BRÍD!", grabbed her glass of water and splashed its content into her brother's face. She hurled the glass at the stone floor and ran upstairs where she shut the door loudly behind her.

"How I love family dinners…" Smiled Eileen, still eating her supper. Her father's face had still the colour of a beetroot.

And what happened with Bríd at the end? Well, she got popular more and more for being the first modern designer of the wizarding world. She held big parties and shows in which she exhibited her models. Everyone who meant something in the wizarding world got invited. Naturally, such success couldn't remain unnoticed and apart from opening her own dressmaking shop in Diagon Alley, she married James Potter. Apart from enduring her wedding with his lips pressed into a thin line, her father didn't object much. And thus, the successful Potter dynasty continued. Despite all her success and fame, Bríd never forgot her parents. Her mother got new robes whenever she wanted and she even managed to persuade her father to have a new attire tailored at her salon! When the old couple went home, Severus squeezed his wife's hand gently and said:

"Sorry for not believing in her before."

On which she replied softly: "She'll always be your little girl, honey."

He smiled and said: "She won't. I know she won't. She has her own life now. But God, how proud I am of her!"


End file.
